The following are the archives of my weblog from the morning of September 11 until a few days after.

This is all unedited, written exactly how it happened, including all the rumors and hearsay from the beginning of the day. I left out are the links that were orginally in the posts, as a lot of them are dead now. Also, these are the archives that pertain ONLY to 9/11, I've left everything else I wrote during that time out.

It's been four years. Some of my ideals, politics and views on things have changed since that day. Some have not.


September 11, 2001

9:02 AM
I was just told that a plane has crashed into the World Trade Center. Must find television.

9:08 AM
One of the court officer's boyfriends works in the World Trade Center. He just called her and said he saw the whole thing happened and actually saw bodies falling out of the plane. I feel sick.

9:11 AM
There were two planes. Within 18 minutes of each other. Don't think this is an accident. Jesus fucking Christ.

9:49 AM
The pentagon has been hit. New York city has been closed off. The White House is being evacuated. I know you know all of this already. This is so fucking frightening. I'm sitting here in a federal building and I'm getting nervous. Ok, they just said the Washington Mall is on fire. Shit.Shit.Shit.

10:39 AM
The World Trade Center is gone. Both buildings have collapsed completely. Things will never be the same again. The one word I keep hearing is WAR.

10:48 AM
Another hijacked airliner is en route towards Washington DC, according to Fox News.

And I thought I had a bad day yesterday. Kind of puts all the little inconveniences of life into perspective.

They cancelled recess in my son's school. No one is allowed outside. I'm so scared. I'm so close to New York City.

A plane crashed in PA.

11:14 AM
Fuck this. I am going home. I don't want to be here like a sitting duck in a government building anymore.

11:51 AM
I'm home. I'm ok. The ride home was scary. I was driving east and in my rear view mirror I could see the smoke from the city. It looks like Pearl Harbor. And I keep thinking, this must be what it's like to live in Israel every day. To live your life in fear. Today was primary day here and the voting is held in schools. Which means anyone could walk into a school without being questioned. That's why I wanted to go get the kids. But they cancelled the primary. Anyhow, I'm home, I'll be on AIM later as soon as Justin lets his friends know he's ok. Be good.

12:17 PM
Even more plane crashes now. I lost count. I keep watching the tv even though I don't want to. I can see the smoke rising in the air to the west.

12:20 PM
This is really eerie. The silence outside. Living so close to Kennedy Airport, the sound of planes getting ready to land is a constant drone throughout the day. And now the skies are empty except for the thin veil of smoke drifting slowly this way. I am in the twilight zone.

1:40 PM
The footage of people running away as the Trade Center collapsed is horrifying. It's like a bad Godzilla movie.

My cousin, a New York City fireman, has been in the city all day. His wife hasn't heard from him yet. My brother-in-law is on his way in to the city, as they have asked all volunteer firefighters to come in and help out. I heard that one firehouse lost it's entire contingent in the second plane incident.

We can't sit here and play nice anymore while everyone else plays dirty. Nice guys do finish last.

Justin's mom called from PA and said to make sure we have enough toilet paper in the house.

2:27 PM
10,000 people dead in one day, in one place. I cannot fathom the idea. I just can't.

3:46 PM
Everything continues to get personal. DJ came home from school today and told me that in the morning, someone came into his class, whispered something to his teacher. She started crying and left the class. Eventually they found out that her husband worked at the World Trade Center. Still no word on what happened with that. And one of my father's longest, closest friends, a Lt. with the New York City Fire Department, is missing and hasn't been heard from since after the first plane hit.

And now I'm trying to explain to my kids what terrorism is and why CNN is showing people in the mideast cheering in the streets.

4:41 PM
The Verizon building on Vescey Street sustained such severe structural damage that they are expecting it to collapse within the hour, and possibly cause a chain reaction.

Our world has changed permanently.

5:11 PM
I do not want to hear the phrase "will of god" again today. This is not the will of any god. This is the will of some very evil people. Do you really think if there was a god this is what he would want?

7:41 PM
We decided to go over to my mom's house and have dinner with the family. My dad is very upset about all the firemen that are unaccounted for. He knows so many of them. We finally heard from one of my cousins and we saw the other on television, so we know they are ok. Big relief. But still, it's disconcerting to think that they are in the middle of this all, digging through rubble and hoping against hope to find someone alive. Every structure around there is so unsafe right now.

And still, I am watching the news, unable to take my eyes off of it, yet also unable to put it all together in my head. I am not feeling anything now. I am numb.

8:09 PM
It's become personal.

About a half hour ago, they found the body of my dad's friend, Pete. I've known Pete for as long as I can remember. He was a very nice man who always had a wide smile on his face. He was a great fireman, dedicated to his profession.

The only other time I've seen my dad cry was at my grandfather's funeral.

8:53 PM
200 firemen dead. I know, so many other people are dead also. The firemen just...makes it so personal for me. 200. Shit.

10:52 PM
I just can't deal with this anymore. My mother just called, two more firemen we know are dead. My cousin was with the Pete when he died, but they separated at a corner in the building and that was the last time he saw Pete alive. When they found him he was decapitated. I'm sorry for being so graphic. This is just horrible. Horrible. I can't think anymore.

11:08 PM
My neighbor's brother. Bomb squad. Dead.
Haven't heard from my cousin since before this happened this morning. He hasn't been in touch with his wife at all.

I can't take it anymore. I'm going to bed.


Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five