April 28, 2005

there's got to be a morning after

By Michele

Ok, Constantine fans. Time to suck it up and move on with your lives.

Are there really people out there who claim to be stunned that votes can somehow be rigged or a reality tv show can be fixed? Yea, I vote every week, but I suffer no delusions that the results aren't somehow skewed to get the best possible final match up that will garner the most possible ratings.

Looking at the official AI boards, I'm taken aback about how many people invest their hearts and souls into various contestants. I don't know why it shocks me that some people are ready to either commit suicide or burn down the Fox building today, but it does. Even when I was in love with Leif Garrett - at the age of ten, I think - I never put so much of myself into idolizing him that my world would have fallen apart if his tv show went off the air.

Some of the people on these boards are grown, adult women. It's frightening. They are talking to him as if he actually goes to the boards and reads all the messages. Honestly, if he saw some of the stuff written there, he would fear for his life. Some of these people are not beyond sneaking into his house at night to cut off a lock of his hair.

I don't like Constantine and I'm glad he's gone (especially since he pulled the last straw on Tuesday - the only thing worse than Nickelback is Constantine doing Nickelback) but there are at least two contestants that, if the people voted on talent and the votes actually counted - should have been gone before Constantine. All this time I waited for this psuedo-rocker to get voted off, and now it's kind of anti-climatic because Jabba the Scott is still on board.

And why is Scott still there? This is why. That's just one of the pitfalls of having a reality show where the public votes. Things like this will happen. Is it fair? No. Is it legal? I'm sure there are no laws on the books regarding things like voting for ugly, mean, talentless hacks on reality shows.

I do think that this sounds a death knell for American Idol as we know it. Between LaToya and Jennifer (and to a lesser extent, Diana) getting voted off last year and Scott and Anthony staying in the running this year when they should have been gone long ago, a lot of fans are getting frustrated. Look for some new voting rules for next season, possibly a whole new format. Also, I predict Paula will be gone. This whole season has been like watching a train wreck with her. I don't know what she's on, but her behavior on the show has been so ridiculous that I cringe when she comes on screen. How can she not be embarrassed for herself? And after last night, with her crying those huge, snotty tears over Constantine, she has to be gone. She's a judge for chrissakes. Judges don't cry when contestants leave. Unless, of course, they have developed an unhealthy crush on them and/or having been sucking their dicks in the hotel room after the show.

Sorry. Anyhow, to recap: Face reality that the show can and probably is fixed; suck it up as far as the internet move to have Scotty the Body crowned American Idol because there's nothing you can do about it; get over Constantine because he doesn't really care about you or your poetry or your desire to run your fingers through his hair as you console him; and get ready to see a complete overhaul of the show for next season. If there is a next season. I suspect this was a jump the shark moment for AI.

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April 27, 2005

Elimination Night 4/27

By Michele

I'm feeling a little under the weather tonight. No, a LOT under the weather. I won't be live blogging the elimination show tonight, but I opened this up so you can discuss it here in the comments if you want.

If Scott gets voted off, I'll show up later to celebrate.

Ok, I took some Excedrin Migraine. I guess I'll hang out.

Interesting......Carrie and Bo together. Could Vonzell be in the bottom three? Anthony with Vonzell. Hmmm.....Let's hope Scott heads over to that side after the break. I hate to see Vonzell in the bottom three, though. She doesn't deserve that. Should be Constantine, Scott and Federov going ahead of her.

Carrie and Bo in the top group and..........HOLY FUCK. Scott is NOT in the bottom three. I hate you, America. I hate every last one of you who voted for Scott. WTF is wrong with you?

Pleased to see Connie the Smarmy get a nice dose of humility. But, still. I don't want to see Vonzell go. YAY she's safe!!!

It's gotta be Federov. I know Constantine's performance last night sucked big ass, but Federov hasn't had a great performance ANY night.

Who? Who is voting for Scott? And who dumped chlorine into your gene pool?

WOW. WOW. I am not a Constantine fan by any stretch of imagination but, holy hell, Federov got more votes than him?? This is insane.

Paula is CRUSHED. I am laughing at her right now.

So, who thinks the show is rigged?

Ha, laughing at Ian: Nickelback is fatal. Heh.

OHmygod, Paula is hysterical. Somebody just kill her now. Her life is worthless.

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Aiiiight Now, Let's Keep It REAL

By Faith

I'm at my parents house in good ol FLA, and I had to physically kick my dad off of his own computer in order to post my predictions for this evening. That must mean this is important. Or something.

I have to admit I missed Carrie last night, I was too busy watching the monster truck freestyle finals with my nephew. I suspect that was a better use of my time. Go Gravedigger!!!! Oh wait, wrong subject, sorry.

OK, AI, right. Um, if there is any justice in the world the bottom three will be be Scott, Anthony and Constantine the Smarmy. There is, however, no justice in the world and the majority of AI voters just don't, well, have very good taste.

For real prediction: bottom three Scott, Anthony, Vonzell. Sayonara Anthony.


Six one, half-dozen the other

By Robyn

This is one week I have absolutely no idea on how to make my guesses. Do I guess how the brain-dead American public will vote? Or do I go with what I think after watching last night's hella-lame broadcast?

For lack of time and / or motivation, I guess I'll go with the latter...

So bottom three: Anthony Fedorov (how dare you subject a woman this pregnant to even more Celine - I honestly don't care if it "touched your heart"), Constantine Maroulis (this information could devastate my reputation as a dude - but I actually like "How You Remind Me" - however, your smarmy rendition literally caused me to pop a Pepcid AC), and Scott Savol (I said it last night and I'll say it again - "correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't he get into this contest with some sob story of how his daddy didn't believe in him and told him he'd fail...and he picks this song?!?")

I had to ask the Magic 8 Ball to pick teh losah for me - "will ______ ______ get the boot on tonight's 'American Idol'":

Anthony Fedorov: Cannot predict now
Constantine Maroulis: My reply is no
Scott Savol: You may rely on it

My desperation pick then, lord in heaven willing? Scott Savol.

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Elimination Prediction

By Tanya

I no longer trust you people to get rid of Scott for me, you mediocrity-loving hacks. 15 million Americans heard Simon say "You won't last a week" in his audition, and they replied, "Over my dead body."

Alas, I can't kill all of them.

Bottom three: Scott, Vonzell, Bo
Gone: Vonzell

I hate you all, fat-ugly-and-stupid enablers.

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Elimination Prediction 4/27

By Michele

First, let me just say that last night's show was LAME. Not one stand out performance. In fact, I'll remember it as the show - counting all four years of AI - that had the most weak peformances in one night.

I still can't shake the memory of Constantine doing Nickelback. Honestly, I thought there was nothing worse for your ears and mind than Nickelback, but Constantine took the suckiness to a whole other level.

Unfortunately, the screeching girlies are still voting with one hand down their panties and Connie's craptastic peformance will not be enough to land him in the final three.

Tonight's prediction: Scott, Carrie and Anthony.

Sad to say, it will be Federov packing his bags. Not that he doesn't deserve it. But he deserves it less than Jabba the Scott.

For your pleasure:


Happy nightmares.

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4.27.05 Elimination

By Stacy

If they're doing a bottom three tonight (as opposed to a bottom two), then it's going to be Anthony, Scott and (most unjustly) Vonzell.

Yes, it's too much to hope that Constantine's abysmal and laughable performance last night will land him in the bottom three. In the immortal words of Julian Grendel, "I've gotta ship 2 million copies, so that teenage girls will have a cd cover they can get wet over. Who cares if he can't sing?!"

Oh yeah, Anthony gets the boot.

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April 26, 2005

King Simon

By Stacy

I haven't disagreed with the man since I began watching the show. Not. Once.

Carrie - Xst, this reminds me of songs I'd hear when my friends dragged me to country dives to line dance. (Yes, I was drunk, why you ask? It was the early 90s, STFU.) Still, she's gorgeous, a natural performer and has a voice of pure power...when she bothers to use it.

Bo - Rocked the FUCK out of that place, is what he did. I've been loving this song on the radio now for months, and he kicked it downtown. Another natural performer, Bo completely pwn3d the room tonight.

Vonzell - Beautiful girl + typical whingy Ackalacka* song = meh

Anthony - This song, this whingy, tenor, teeth-grinding song right here has made me change my Failinator pick from Connie to Anty. The only thing that could make me despise him more is if he were eight inches shorter.

Constantine - Hahaha! Sucka, you BLEW. IT. If there is any justice in the world AT ALL, you'll be in the bottom group tomorrow. It'll sure be nice to see that smirk wiped off your butt-chin.

Scott - Dude, were you trying to "bottom" Connie's performance? Because you sure as shit did. As Robyn pointed out in the comments on Michele's post, don't go whinging that your Dad said you'd never make it, then try to pull this sentimental bullshit out of your Big & Tall's, 'cause we ain't buying, hoodrat.

* Yes, I know it's Aguilera, I just don't give a crap.

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And Then There Were 6

By Michele

And here we go again...

I know what the theme is tonight and the song choices are going to be mighty interesting.

Blahblah Seacrest Blahblahblah....I wish we could just streamline the show down to twenty minutes.

Scott is looking very Jabba the Hut tonight.

And the theme is ...songs from 2000 on.

Carrie up first.....she looks good with her hair straight like that. I have no idea what this song is, but she's doing nothing for me with it. Sounds like she's struggling to be heard.

That was very.....run of the mill. Not final six kind of stuff. I'm agreeing with Randy, go figure. She was drowning with this song. Holy shit, I'm agreeing with Paula??

Bo better not be doing Creed.

Alrighty. I don't know this song, either. But look at Bo with the poncho shirt. And the glasses. He's irking me tonight for some reason. The audience seems to really be digging him tonight. I liked it - I thought he definitely sold himself with this song, but I think the facial expression annoyed me, which I will let slide tonight because I love me some Bo. Faith called it - Bo was good but still not taking any risks. And Tanya called him on the Kravitz glasses before Simon did.

Vonzell next. I sense some Celine Dion coming up.....

Ack. No. She's doing Christina. Ok, these people have to do more than wade their way through a song and hope that the high notes carry them through. This is ok. Her weakest performance in the past three weeks. I love you Daddy? Ick. Like Ian said in the comments, she's Anwaring it. Shut the hell up, Randy. We got it. She's in the DAWG POUND. I thought it was boring. (But I still love her)

Holy shit. Federov is doing Celine Dion. This, I gotta see. I swear, if he pulls this off I will vote for him tonight. Just for the balls he has to have to do this.

I really want a Chewie ringtone. Oh, I've got a big surprise for you guys when Scottie the Body comes on.

Damn. He should have worn a dress. He singing this as if he's in bed after having sex with some hooker he just fell in love with. I meant that as sort of a compliment. This really isn't bad, considering what he's trying to pull off. But dude. IT's time to go home.

Ok, Constantine up next. Is he actually going to live up to his rocker label this week or is his transformation to lounge singer going to be completed?

OHmyfuckinggod. He's doing Nickelback. Shoot me. Shoot him. Game over, I officially loathe him. This sucks worse than the original and I didn't think anything could suck worse than Nickelback. God. Damn. That was awful.

Scott up next. And here's a little present for you all.


Don't blame me. I found it on Fark. I didn't want to be the only one going blind with horror tonight so I had to pass it on.

He;s the heart and soul of AMerica? We are DAMNED. What the hell is this song? Is it a lullabye? Because it's putting me into a freaking coma. Eh. That was kind of lame.

I'm not voting for anyone tonight.

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April 20, 2005

Elimination Night

By Michele

We've all made our predictions. Let's hope this is the week Scottie goes buh-bye.

Oh, who cares about this shit? Just cut to the chase. Send someone home. Preferably the gangsta of love.

Blahblahblah groupsong blahblahblah. I'm going into insulin shock with this song. Shine this. Just get on with the action, already.

Aaaand...let's give it up for the Brady Kids, who just made enough money to buy their parents an anniversary platter!

Ohjesuschristonapogostick. MUST they torture us with this freaking stuff?? As if Scott's head wasn't big enough, they have to distort it?

Why the complications? Just point a finger, say You're going home, sucker! and end the show so I can go to bed already.

Ok, what is the song in this HP commercial? I really dig it.

Ok, so much for my batteries.

AH, mindfucking with Bo. And he's fucking them back. Heh.

Dude, six minutes left. Stop screwing around and just get on with sending Scotty packing.

By the way, Mike - one more comment about me and Scott and your ass is banned from here. I love you, guy. But you're freaking me out.

At least Vonzell is safe this week.

So do Stacy and Robyn. WOOT!

Ok, I'm kinda miffed that Scott is still in it, but I really, really think that Anwar just wanted to go home.

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Predict-o-Meter: Going back to Jersey

By Michele

It's getting harder and harder to pick a bottom three. America is so damn fickle.

If it were MY bottom three, it would be Anwar, Federov and Scott. Alas, the majority of the voters (most of whom are robots programmed by some evil scientist who gets a small yet thrilling electric shock in his pants every time a vote is registered for Scott) don't see it my way.

Tonight's bottom three shall be:

Anwar, Federov and Carrie.

Going home, back to Joisey, will be Anwar. Whom, I believe, will be secretly happy to be doing just that.

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By Stacy

(shutup, titles are hard)

Yeah, I watched it last night... Constantine makes me hurl, still frigging hate he can sing. Carrie, that is the dumbest fucking song ever, and you simply must avail yourself of the stylist, or not, whatever you're currently doing is WRONG. Scott didn't suck if you had your eyes closed. Federov is rapidly approaching Scott levels of suckitude. Vonzell was SMOKIN'! Anwar could easily be fed to Alsatians and I'd never miss him. Bo has taken to singing the same thing over and over (would it have killed you to reel out some KC & the Sunshine Band, dammit?!), still freaking HOT though.

Bottom three I WANT to see tonight: Scott, Federov, Anwar

Actual bottom three: Anwar, Vonzell (because you voters are teh SUCK), Scott

Teh losar: Anwar

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America, Please, Give Me A B-Day Present

By Faith

Today's my birthday. There is nothing I want more for my birthday than to see Ugly Ghetto Scott up on stage singing his big ugly face off after getting the big boot. But will it really happen? Um...yes, I think this is finally the week.

Bottom three: Carrie (she really wasn't good this week), Scott, Vonzell (shame on you America!).

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Elimination Prediction

By Tanya

I'm still pouting about Nadia, so I'll skip my usual psychological profiling this week.

Bottom three: Vonzell, Scott, Federov
Gone: Scott

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Fly, Robyn - fly!

By Robyn

I'm a child of the 70s. I loves me some disco, hearing the words "all skate", and feelin' the beat on the tamborine... That said, I just wasn't feelin' it last night, dawg. In fact, I was downright bored through most of the show.

When I think of 70s Dance Music — I hear "Ring My Bell", "Shadow Dancing", "Knock on Wood", "If I Can't Have You...", "Don't Leave Me This Way", "My Sharona"..... Certainly not songs like "MacArthur Park", "Don't Take Away the Music", and "Vehicle". And even though most of the reviews on Bo's performance seem to be extremely positive, I would have seriously enjoyed the kitsch value of hearing him perform something along the lines of "Kung Fu Fighting". Of course, that's just me. And Simon (if he could be honest) would probably have compared it to a karaoke performance in a nightclub in Thailand... But I digress.

Now let's see. Let's see. Bottom three. For consistency's sake, I have to include Scott Savol and Anthony Fedorov. And just because it seems exceedingly obvious every week that the boy just wants to go home already, I'll add in Anwar Robinson for good measure.

My pick for the batteries? Anwar Robinson.

Robyn would just like to note, for the official record, her picks went up first this week. Normally she's dead-last, so she needs to have something to be proud of!

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April 19, 2005

And Then There Were 7

By Michele

Coming up at 8pm EST...sharpen those criticism skills.

And here we go. Seacrest really needs to stop saying Scotty the Body. It creeps me out.

And the theme is.....

Oh god. It's 70's dance classics. Break out the disco ball.

Who's gonna do Funkytown??

Constantine, I'd like to introduce you to the concept of combing your hair.

I freaking hate his poses. I hate the way he looks into the camera. I hate the way he loves himself. I hate that he's doing a Bee Gees song. At least he's not doing it well. His damn Jersey accent really does not do justice to this song. Ugh. I depsise this man and his super sized ego. That blew.

Oh shut UP Paula. Just get on your freaking knees, suck his dick and get it overwith. Please.

Carrie doing Donna Summer. My god, I hate this song.

Sigh. This is doing nothing for me. I think it's the theme. I am not a disco fan. Not even those big, strong notes are doing anything for me tonight. Oh come ON Simon - the outfit means nothing here. Though she really should have come out in glittery spandex.

Scott doing Everlasting Love. Do I have to watch him? Oh great. And now I have to say that his voice doesn't sound horrible. It could certainly use some more ooomph. Certainly not his worst performance, she said grudingly. But not a winner. It was missing something. I take that back. The last half of the song BLEW.

Ohmygod, I HATE these judges. And just shut up and get off the stage you ugly, slimy, creepy bastard.

Federov does not do sexy well.

I think Bo should do YMCA.

Hey, Federov sounds good tonight!! He could be the next disco gay icon! Move over, Gloria Gaynor! Seriously, I enjoyed that.

I want a dollar for every time Randy says DUDE. ANd then I'll use the money to buy Constantine a shower.

Vonzell up. Doing that Oprah song. I LOVE this girl! I love her voice, I love the way she carries herself on stage. She's wonderful. That was HOT!

Anwar coming up. He's been a yawnfest for me lately.

Bad song choice. This will do nothing to show off his skills. Again, Anwar's face and voice say "please God, let this be overwith this week. Send me home." I ain't feelin' it dude. Aight?

And Bo with the last song of the night. Ohhhh good choice, Bo! Oh man. He's smokin. This is awesome. Bo. Fucking. Rocks.

I'm picking up the phone for Bo tonight.

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April 13, 2005

Elimination Night

By Michele

It's an hour show tonight. Why, god, why? Why torture us for an hour when all we need is ten minutes to say good bye to someone?

I'll halfheartedly live blog, I guess.

Oh. Hahah. A Kirstie Alley fat joke. LOLROFLLMAOBBQ!!11!

What the fuck is that get up Seacrest is wearing? Where's the ugly t-shirt?

I'm really, really cranky tonight.

Constantine's hair? Not a good look. Not at all.

Oh,I get the hour edition now. IT's gonig to be an hour long commercial for their charity record. Gosh, I just love infomercials masquerading as entertaiment. I gave up dying my hair for this.

Ok, I'll be watching the Yankee game for a while. Someone tap when they get to the real stuff. Yay. Giambi finally put his steroid arms to use. Oh, am I on the AI blog? Sorry.

Oh jeebus. We have to listen to them SING? Just GET THE FUCKING VOTE OUT, PEOPLE!

Scotty the Body in the BOTTOM THREE! America, there is hope for you yet! But I ain't listening to this loser sing again. Hey, how about those Yankees?? My god, someone actually slept with this man. ::shudder::

And..Carrie is safe.
Anwar...safe. Hrmmm..
Bo.....holy bottom three, batman.

Did Bo just say something about sleeping with his mother?

Paula is on crack. Again.

I finally figured out who Constantine reminds me of (personality wise, not looks). That Lord of the Dance guy - Michael Flatley.

No, that is NOT a compliment. Not by a long shot.

Connie boy....Geez, Simon is smiling at him. He's safe.

Hah. Nadia. I KNEW IT. This is her third time in the bottom three?

I can NOT believe Federov is still in it.

It's got to be Nadia. Scott won't go simply because I'm being punished for something I did in a previous life. Bo won't go, because he just won't. It's going to be Nadia.

And.............Holy fucking shit. He's staying. YOU PEOPLE SUCK. I want to know who's voting for him. Stand up, people. Someone admit that you voted for him. Because I want to smack the shit out of you.

Oh, man. I'm so happy that Bo is safe, but I feel kind of bad for Nadia. There is no way she is less talented than Anthony or Scott. No way. There are a lot of stupid, stupid people out there and they all have speed dial.

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Close only counts...

By Robyn

This week I don't want to be "safe" with my prediction. I just want to be right. Because if I have to look at Scott's face for one more week of this competition, let's just say "morning sickness" isn't even going to begin to describe what I'm feeling these days...

Last night Seacrest seemed eager to show Hall and Oates were more than happy to give the thumbs-up to Savol's performance. However, lest ye forget, this is a photo of Hall and Oates in their prime:

The use of jazz hands, high-heel boots, muted pastels, cheesy mustache and sleeveless muscle-shirt might better serve backing and endorsing a contestant such as Anwar, no?

So battery-quest be damned -- tonight my bottom three will include Scott Savol (he took that phone slogan "reach out and touch someone" just a little too seriously and hopefully soon it will catch up with 'im), Anthony Fedorov (my failinator feels so lonely - and I promise you won't take a piece of me with you), and Nadia Turner (legs up to your neck don't make up for putting me to sleep several weeks in a row now).

But even though last week proved I can't trust America to pick for me, I'm still going to stick to my guns and pick who I think should go...and that's Scott Savol. Yo, dawg - I'm just keepin' it real.

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By Broken

I see Paula chose to wear one Wonder Woman armband last night. And it was on the side she shares with Randy. The side she shares with Simon was open. Perhaps signifying something a little more? Maybe she's sending a *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* signal to Cowell?

Eww, I just made myself throw up a little in my mouth.

It's clear, though, she's hammer-assed drunk through these shows now. I can't wait until she starts slurring on camera during a live show, then passes out in a pool of her own vomit.

Bottom three - Nadia, woman beater, Federov.

Loser - woman beater (please, hope, hope)


Elimination Prediction

By Michele

When I thought about this in the morning, I thought - Anthony, Scott, Nadia. Easy.

And then I thought about it some more. America has disappointed me week after week. Why should tonight be any different? I think Scott - whom I loathe more and more with every passing day - will have once again summoned the powers of the girls- in- tube- tops- and- spandex- pants vote and will not even make the bottom three, let alone go back home to Compton or whatever ghetto he thinks he's from.

Anthony, who really should have been gone long ago, won't appear in the bottom three either, as he's still using his batting-eyelash mojo to work that "poor, sick immigrant" thing. Hey, it worked for Angela's Ashes.

Alas, I think my new sweetheart Vonzell will appear in the bottom three. I've grown really fond of her. But it's been proven time and again that the majority of Idol voters vote with either half a brain or with their hand down their pants.

Nadia will make the bottom three again. The girl is gorgeous, she's got poise and flair and a body to die for. She also has a beautiful voice, but she lost that pizazz that made me fall for her the first week or two. However, she has a tremendous career in modeling ahead of her, I predict.

The last of three will be Anwar. Which is interesting, considering a few weeks ago I was touting an Anwar/Nadia finale. There's just something about him that says "send me home, please, I don't want to be here anymore."

And they will. But not this week. I think AI voters will once again infuriate me with their choice and send Vonzell home tonight. Which will be really sad. I hope I'm wrong. This is one week I'll be happy not to get the batteries.

Update: Tanya has really good commentary on why Nadia won't make it to the final.

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Elimination Prediction

By Tanya

If there was any justice in the world, Scott would be gone tonight. But I think the fat-ugly-and-stupid-vote (thanks, Seki!) has got his lardy, woman-beating back, once again. Even tho he called them all talentless cowards last night. [sigh]

It won't save him from the bottom three - that will be Scott, Nadia, and Federov - but, as much as it pains me to say this, I think Nadia's the one going home.

She has the same "problem" that LaToya had last year. The audience doesn't love her, because she's tough and independent, and doesn't seem to need them. She doesn't make a cute face and beg for votes after her song, or wave her arms while she's singing to pull them in. She's in her own world when she sings, and that's one of the things I really like about her, but I think it's freezing people out.

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Elimination Prediction Time Again

By Stacy

Wow, so much suckitude, only three to choose for the ass-end...

Nadia, sorry, honey, the Force is no longer with you.

Anwar, likewise, you've completely lost whatever you had.

The third call is a bit harder. I'd LOVE for it to be the Weepy ImmigrantTM, but I'm afraid it's going to be the delightful Vonzell. She's got a voice that surely makes Whitney Houston weep in frustrated jealousy, but she just doesn't have that much spark, if you grasp my meaning. She has a sweet face, and a sweet personality, and that's not going to be good enough to see her through, I think.

Bottom 3 - Nadia, Anwar, Vonzell
Going Home - Nadia

The mere fact that the Freakish Savol isn't going to be in this bottom three, despite his arrogant posturing last night, is giving me the dry heaves, even as I type this. Talk amongst yourselves.

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Prediction Time Already?

By Faith

Look, I've been sick for days, I haven't slept in 36 hours, pretty much everyone except Carrie and Vonzell sucked last night....what do you want from me? Oh, right, predictions. Let's make this fast.

Unfortunately, Scott's not going. Saved by Hall & Oates. Stupid really, what were they going to say when Seacrest asked them how he was "hey, he sucked!!!" Of course not. Lameass attempt to bolster his fake-ghetto ass. For the love of all things holy, please stop voting for him. Alas, I know you're not listening to me.

Bottom three: Nadia, Anthony, Anwar. In a shocking twist of events, Nadia goes. Doesnt' matter if I'm wrong this week, I'm too weak and sick for batteries.

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April 12, 2005

Oh, OK...

By Stacy

Had to catch that one on TIVO again, dammit...

Nadia - As my husband said, "Damn, she's got ALL the legs!" Yes, she does, dear...but not all the fine musical taste. Mac Davis? Come ON!! </Albert Brooks>

Bo - Xst, I hate this song. Like any song by Skynyrd is going to be vocally challenging. It wasn't fantastic, but if the remaining members of Skynyrd have a brain in their collective, beer-sodden heads, they'd hire this boy and go out on tour. Y'know, in a bus.

Anwar - Look here, girly man, you need to sack up and SING if you expect to stay in this thing.

Anthony - I'm sorry, the reedy tenor has become intolerable. I've taken to fast forwarding as soon as he opens his mouth.

Vonzell - Beautiful girl, beautiful voice. I'd love Bo to show us he can win, but I think this Miss is going to give him a run. (The teetering around stage on super high heels was a bit distracting, however.)

Scott - The low notes were out of his range, something someone should have pointed out to him in frigging rehearsals. And, I could tolerate him when he was humble...but this "I'm braver than millions who stayed home" bullshit ain't going to win any votes. Tanya, add "stupid" to the "fat and ugly" litany, wouldja.

Carrie - Eh, forgotten words or not, it was a bad condensation of the song from the get-go. Whoever does these should be spoken sternly to. She can hit the notes, and it's good to see a little change from all the twanging, but it's definitely not her strength.

Constantine - Mother. Of. Gods. Paula's comment that Constantine is now the one to beat is baffling, at best. The very best commentary on this *cough* performance came in the comment section of Michele's post during the show:

No. NO! Constantine's killing Freddy Mercury all over again.


Bohemian Rhapsody, sung in the key of Hell, by Constantine Maroulis.

Congratulations to Kathleen on her trenchant and oh-so-timely observations.

On the judges...

Randy simply cannot wait for the applause to die down before yelling his 'hood platitudes at the contestants, and isn't that a real treat.

Paula's drug habit seriously needs to get under control. Sure, she looks fabulous, but she's freaking INSANE!

Simon, honey, you're known as a pop music pioneer and you're ignorant of the influence of Southern Rock? Get. Out. No, really.

How I wish a new crop of judges were brought in every year along with the contestants. These three...they chafe something awful.

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And Then There Were 8

By Michele

Coming up at 8pm EST....another Tuesday, another live blog plus peanut gallery goodness. Honestly, the comments (on the night of the show, at least) are often better than what I write.

A short side note: We are not American Idol sycophants. We are not drooling fans of any of the contestants. We can be mean. We can be snarky. We tend to be a bit negative sometimes. If all this bothers you, as it obviously does some people, may I suggest you try the American Idol message boards, where the company there (i.e., drooling, crazed, stalkerish fan girls) will be more to your liking.

I heard a rumor about tonight's theme. If it's true, this is going to be torture for me.

And here we go. Someone just kick Seacrest in the nuts. Already.

Ok, my rumor was not true (thought it was going to be country. Theme is: Songs From the Year You Were Born. Interesting!

Nadia first..She obviously realized that sultry worked for her last week. Voice-wise, at least. She looks like she's wearing jammies. This is a nice performance. But just..nice. Nothing earth shattering. Nothing WOW. Pretty, though.

I should mention that I have an intense allergy headache and, like Faith, a very stuffy head tonight. Clouds not only my hearing, but my patience and tolerance.

OMFG!!! He's doing FREEEEEEBIRD! WHAT SONG IS IT YOU WANNA HEAR?? Daring choice! I like it. This is so good for him. He's smoking.

Jeebus. He was born the year I was sitting in the back of school smoking pot and rocking out to Skynyrd?? That was incredibly brave and I LIKED IT, just for the balls factor alone.

Does Simon think there are that many people that don't know FREEBIRD??? Dumb Limey.

Anwar up and doing another female singer song. Weird. I don't know what happened, I just lost my love for Anwar. Everything he does seems sort of bland and run of the mill to me now. And here he goes with his standard forumula. Start off slow and low key, finish big. Just not feeling Anwar tonight. I'm not saying it was bad, it was just not a great performance for this late in the contest.

Hall and Oates in the hizzzouse! MANEATER!

Oh nice choice by Anthony with the Paul Young song. Too bad he's already lame in my book.

Jesus, only Anthony can make this song sound like the theme from WKRP in Cincinatti. He's just too bland, to common, too....boring. THere is NOTHING special about Anthony except for his poor, sick immigrant story.

Vonzell going with a peppy dance tune. Could be good. She's been my favorite lately. Her stage presence has improved SO much since the beginning. And her voice sounds sparkling tonight. Just great. Lively, on key, strong. She has risen to the top of her game while many of the other contestants are faltering.

Scott, doing a Hall and Oates song. I just LOATHE this man. He just called himself a rocker. Riiiiiight.

Well, not his worst performance. But I just can't bring myself to say anything good about him. And there really wasn't much good to say about this. OFF. KEY.

Ian has the comment of the evening: I gotta hand to Savol. Most people don't have an answer for "you beat your baby mama, how do you follow that up and make people hate you more?"

Carrie up. Doing some Benetar. Niiiice change of pace for her. Does anyone else automatically think of that Billie Jean movie when they hear this song?

I'm digging this. Carrie is really showing a different side of her. Not a spot on rendition of the song, but she's showing how strong her voice is and she, like Bo, has balls. So to speak. I think it rocked.

Constantine coming up. Bohemian Raphsody and Freebird on the same night?

ACKACKACK HORRRRRRRIBLE! WTF is he DOING to this song?? He's doing Freddy Mercury as if he were in Rocky Horror.

They all liked it. I thought it was off key and Constantine made it sound like a freaking EMO song.

We're either voting for Vonzell or Carrie tonight. Haven't decided yet.

(I just watched it again and I don't think Simon's astonishing was meant in a good way)

Could it be just 24 hours until we say good bye to Scott? Fingers crossed.

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April 07, 2005

America, You Got Some 'Splainin To Do

By Faith

Who are you people that keep voting for that untalented wife beater? Lets hear from you, right here, right now. What the fuck are you all thinking? Is it that you want him to win because he's ugly like you? Or are you just tone deaf?

Come on Scottie voters, I dare you.

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April 06, 2005

Elimination Night

By Michele

Coming up.

Oh yay. Fantasia.

I think this is the only song she's come up with in a year. And has she put out a record? Anyone heard from her? Or has she been relegated to the daytime talk show circuit and AI related functions?

I hate these commercial/songs.

I cannot look at Scott without breaking out in hives.

And here we go.

Nikko: Whoa, bottom three right away. He did blow last night.

WHAT? What the hell is wrong with you people. Vonzell does NOT belong in the bottom three. You people SUCK. SUCK.

Well at fucking last. Scott in the bottom.

But the bottom three right away? That's weird.

Oh shut UP Paula.

YESSS Vonzell is safe!

And why wasn't Federov in the bottom three? I guess Faith was right...Federov has indeed over played the poor sick immigrant card, but probably not to the poor sick immigrant population.

Pleasepleaseplease let Scott go.

What. The. Fuck.

This is so wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

No batteries for anyone. No dignity, either.

For everyone who voted for Scott: YOu should be ashamed of yourselves.

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One White Russian to go, please

By Robyn

Fortunately for Scott Savol, the AI powers that be decided his, errr, 'violent past' was not equal with that of Corey Clark's in 2003 and he's been allowed to remain in the competition.

Unfortunately for Scott, not only is he facing a semi-scandal that doesn't play well with women across America - his performance last night really wasn't all that either.

However, will those two combined be enough to rid our TV screens of him permanently? I'm not so sure... Based solely on performance, I think Anthony Fedorov deserves to go. In the case of Scott, one can only hope "there's always next week".

My bottom three are Savol, Fedorov, and for lack of a better option...Nadia Turner.

My pick for the Coppertops is Fedorov though. To quote Simon, "Hideous. Everything about it was horrible."

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Say Sayonara Scott Savol

By Faith

I hate to make the same prediction two weeks in a row, and certainly would HATE to be wrong two weeks in a row, but, well, I have to do it. Scottie the wife beater is going.

Bottom three: Scott, Nadia (sad but true), Nikko.

P.S. after reading my fellow Idol Tonguers predictions: Federov has indeed over played the poor sick immigrant card, but probably not to the poor sick immigrant population.

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Elimination Prediction

By Tanya

I'm torn. I think Scott will be safe to the very end, because he's got the fat-and-ugly vote (previously known as the underdog vote, but I'm sick of being kind to the idiots who keep forcing me to endure him).

But now we have this restraining order scandal... Will he lose his followers, since he's proven (once again) that he's not a nice guy? Or will he pick up the wife beater vote, too? I think we know the logic American Idol voters use. *sigh*

Bottom three: Nadia, Carrie, Federov.

And Federov's gone.

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Who's Teh Losar?

By Stacy

I'd like it to be the freakish Scott, but I'm terribly afraid that he has a stealth contingent of hoodrat wannabes out there who are going to keep his increasingly-slipshod ass in this much longer than he deserves.

Federov is my next choice. His vocal quality just isn't up to the caliber of the others, though I have to admit it is MIGHTY entertaining to see how petulantly angry he seems to get when enduring Simon's criticism.

Oh, and a note to Seacrest, who seems to be getting more than a bit impatient with Simon's increasingly raw (and accurate) assessments: Who do you think is more easily replaced, boy? The guy with the 20 year career in pop music development or the guy with the shitty t-shirt collection and the There's Something About Mary-esque hairstyle?

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Chicks Beginning to Take Control.

By Broken

The last few weeks have been all about Carrie, Nadia and Vonzell. For a contest in which the guys were supposed to shine, the girls are wiping the mat with them lately. Even Bo is starting to fall week after week.

In accordance with the latest news about the woman beater, I'd rather see him kicked off the show, and luckily, his performance sucked balls. I had very high hopes he'd see the boot, that is, until I heard Federov, who just fell to new lows. The boy cannot sing. At all. So in terms of pure suckage, Federov should go, but I wish the woman beater would get the boot.

My bottom three are woman beater, Federov and I guess Nikko for lack of a better third to pick. Federov loses!



By Michele

And hopefully gone.

My fingers are crossed that American has seen enough of pasty faced Scott Savol. But will I bet my batteries on it? Nope. Been burned too many times in the past by America's idiocy and I really, really need those batteries tonight.

My guesses at the bottom three: Scott, Federov and Nadia. Not that I didn't like Nadia's performance - I'm just trying to read the minds of the masses. And that's hard. Like reading empty space.

I think Federov has played his poor, sick immigrant card as far it's going to carry him and he'll be headed out tonight. I'm ok with that choice - I really don't like his voice. But I'd be much happier if I never had to look at the creeptastic Savol again.

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April 05, 2005

And Then There Were 9

By Michele

It's Tuesday and we're back. Tonight's theme is......(waiting)

Continue reading "And Then There Were 9"

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