March 30, 2005
Meanwhile, a PSA. Comments on live blog posts will close after 24 hours because you people are whack.
Oh geez. The group song is giving me really bad childhood flashbacks. Nooo, don't make me wear the bellbottoms!
Constantine is sporting some package in those tight jeans.
The audience is actually swaying. Someone break out the Bic lighters and hand the world a Coke.
Nikko - safe
Constantine - sigh. safe.
Carrie - safe, of course.
Bo - safe
Nadia - bottom three AGAIN!
Jessica with the puppet mouth - Bottom three!
Scott - What. The. Fuck? SAFE.
America, you SUCK.
It has to be Anthony in the final three. Can't be Vonzell, she was too strong this week and Anwar still has a strong fan base.
Holy shite, Anthony is safe and Anwar is in the bottom three!
It's just bizarre that a couple of weeks ago, I thought it would be Nadia and Anwar in the final.
And I get NO BATTERIES tonight.
Ok So Nadia is safe.
It's got to be Jessica. Daughter is insisting it's Anwar because of his inconsistency.
Surprsingly, I'm not going to be upset if it's Anwar. There's just something off about the guy. He started to weird me out about two weeks ago.
I still can't believe that Scott is staying, though. Some people should NOT have phones. Just saying.
Jessica goes home. Not a big surprise. I think I get like a triple A battery out of the deal.
Tanya is THE BATTERY CHAMPION this week. Go, Tanya!
See y'all next week.
10. 10. 10. 10. For everything... everything...
I'm the last to update with my predictions today since a certain 13-month old seems to think he's the next American Idol around here...
Last night blew more chunks than I have with morning sickness as of late. Horrible. Terrible. Total waste of my time, and thank the heavens for TiVo's FF feature!
Anwar had been my pick to win it all, but that's gonna change. Each week his performances are less and less stellar and it's going to take moving me to tears (which isn't hard with all these hormones) to bring me back into his camp. For now, I guess I'm switching Successinator loyalties over to Bo -- although he far from "wow'ed" me last night as well.
As for my bottom three tonight? Anthony Fedorov, Scott Savol and Anwar Robinson. (If Anwar insisted on crooning an R. Kelly tune, he could at least have picked a Chappelle-ized version!) And I guess I'm throwing my batteries in Fedorov's basket, hoping I can update my Failinator pick two weeks in a row.
Tuesday sucked. I have my favorites, but the rest of the pack is up one week, and crashing and burning the next. There's no consistency. They aren't improving week to week. If someone wants to seriously challenge Bo or Carrie, then they'd better figure out how very quickly.
Bo wasn't good this week, but he's allowed an off performance in my book. He's got alot of good Idol karma saved up, so I give him a pass. Constantine saved himself for one more week, dammit. Scott - you've got to BLEED emotion into that microphone if you want a shot at the title. You won't win, but still...give it some effort, man. I'm not going to comment on everyone, so my final three will be Scott, Federov, and Jessica, with Federov saying sayonara.
Well, this week definitely sucked the big one. The poor quality of performances, combined with the mind-boggling inanity of the Google-powered commentary around here lately, made it completely unworth live-blogging last night. So, straight to the elimination prediction...
Federov is toast.
Don't get me wrong, Scotty the FREAK definitely sucked. As did Anwar, Jessica and Nikko, but I think Anthony has finally mediocred us for the last time.
Michele was right last night, btw, Vonzell was the only one that gave me goosebumps.
UPDATE - Buh bye, No Neck!!
I'd like it to be Federov, but I'm betting on Jessica again.
==> We're up for the first big storm of the season tonight, and I'm going to be very unhappy if the power goes out during Idol (or Lost).
==> Go me!
Charge Those Batteries!
Ok, I really, really want my batteries this week. In fact, I don't think batteries are going to be enough. I want the whole shebang.
My vision for the bottom three:
Scott, Anthony and Jessica.
Everyone else has a pretty large, established fan base already. But I can definitely see Anwar making an appearance in the bottom three next week if he doesn't pull some magic out of his ass.
Going home? Well, I wish it were Constantine, who strikes me as a very Eddie Haskell, phony, creep but there are too many female voters who will vote for him based on how much they hump the couch when he sings. After last night's performance, I felt a great disturbance in the force. As if....a billion batteries were charged at once...
And don't think you get off scott free, guys. I know what you're doing when Carrie's singing. I know.
Anyhow. Let's all say bye-bye to Scott, who will now be free to go play with the Crips and Bloods. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.
Don't Let The Door...
It's that time again.
First, who I want/wish/hope/pray will go: Constantine. Last night put me over the top in my hatred for that smarmy fake.
Second, Vonzell. Wow. Who'd have thunk.
Finally: bu-bye Scottie. I can't take another single week of you.
P.S. Forgot my bottom three pick: Scott, Jessica, Anthony
March 29, 2005
And Then There Were 10
Live blogging of tonight's performance coming up at 8PM EST.
And tonight's theme is....
March 24, 2005
3/24 Elimination Night
I've got a bottle of wine in front me, ready to celebrate the 30 minute Mikalah Farewell Tour.
If she does not go tonight, you will pry those batteries out of my cold, dead hands.
[For newcomers, you're going to have to research the battery reference on your own, because I don't remember when it first started]
Have a look at all the other Idol Tongues predictions:
Robyn is looking for a Carrie-esque end for Mikalah
Seki's farewell to Mik is short and uh..sweet.
Broken wants to send Miki back to Joisey.
Tanya says It...won't...be...long
And Faith is the lone dissenter in this court. She's hoping to wave bye-bye to Anthony.
Stay tuned - show begins now.
Oh yay. Group song time. Now's the time to go pee, folks.
Nikko, safe. Constantine, safe. Bo, safe. Carrie, safe. No surprises, of course.
WHoa! Nadia in the bottom three!!! I knew she was getting weaker each time, but I still think she was strong enough to not end up in the bottom. Weird. No neck is safe. YESSSSSSSSSSS Mikalah in the bottom three! Scott safe and Nadia NOT? America, why do you hate TALENT?
It's gotta be Anthony....
And Seacrest does his stupid commercial trick again. New material, Seacrest. New material.
And no suprise, Anthony in the bottom three.
OHMYGOD. Nadia got LESS VOTES THAN ANYTHONY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???
Chances are pretty durn good that Miki is going home after the break.
I am STUNNED, America. Stunned at your lack of judgment and your bad, bad taste.
MIKALAH FINALLY GOES HOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Break out the pig's blood!
Oh someone shove a sock down her throat, please. And only she can pout and sing at the same time.
She'll be back with a talk show. Guaranteed.
And now stay tuned for Life on a Stick, sure to be the greatest sitcom this side of Small Wonder.
Now give me my batteries. I've got a date with Hello Kitty.
We'll pray. We'll pray. We'll pray for the last time.
This week, Mikalah dodged a bullet once...if the rumors are true...by having the votes that eliminated her Tuesday night deemed null and void due to "graphical errors" with the telephone voting numbers displayed on screen. Can she miss an inevitable lightning strike twice?
From phillyburbs.com: For the first time ever, Simon looked scared of a contestant. And rightly so. Mikalah is reminiscent of a girlfriend who goes psycho after her boyfriend breaks up with her. They’re going to need a straightjacket to get Mikalah off the stage this week because the nut job won’t even understand how or why she could be voted off the show.
Assuming the producers of the show are able to keep the second round of phone voting this week legit, I'm grabbing the popcorn and picking Mikalah. Bring on the pig's blood!
I think Mikalah's fans went totally nuts on the phones last night, after hearing the rumor that she was the one booted on Tuesday night. And it might have been enough, but.... I doubt it.
So I'm guessing Mikalah.
(I like the kid, but man, she sounded rough. "AND! IT! WON'T! BE! LONG!" is right...)
Second Verse, Same as the First
I think we all know by now that the Nanny should have been gone by now. Whether it was 'voting irregularity' or outright fraud, tonight's result should be a mirror of what was supposed to be. Mikalah will be forcibly returned to the New Jersey hole from which she was birthed. And there will be much rejoicing.
And we finally get down to the business of saying good-bye to Mikalah.
I think the bottom three will be Scott, Anthony and Mikalah, with our favorite Fran Drescher clone finally, at long last, hallelujah, getting the boot.
Mikalah is history. Nuff said.
**Post show update**
That was as graceful a "lose" as I've ever seen. Well done, girl. And Maybelline, Revlon, L'Oreal...sign this girl to a contract before she starts to wrinkle. She may crack plaster with her voice but she's absolutely gorgeous, don't let her go to waste.
Bye, bye, Bawbawa!
**Update The Second**
Thanks to the usual array of fucknuts for once again sucking the life and joy out of everything. Comments closed on this post. Assholes.
Who'll Bite The Dust Tonite?
Well it's clear to me that the bottom three will be Mikalah, Scott and Anthony. But which of those will be going? I'm tempted to pick Mikalah based on the rumor (?) I heard that she would have been leaving before the redo. Then again, hers was one of the screwed up numbers posted. At least if I remember correctly. I didn't bother watching last night other than the initial 10 minutes, so maybe I'm at a disadvantage.
Anyway, OK, um, I'm picking Anthony. Let the batteries fall where they may.
March 23, 2005
Well, this should be a little slice of hell...
Oh, they're going to replay last night's performances, that's much better than making them re-perform. Aaand there's absolutely no need to live blog it. 'Night all!
Uh, did that sign just say "Scotty the Body"?? Someone...hold me.
Bo and Constantine: 15 Years Later
I was thinking about Bo and Constantine and what the future holds for them.
[insert wavy lines here]
New Jersey, circa 2020
Constantine Mouralis has been hitting the bat Mitzvah circuit hard and heavy. He's always introduced as "One Time American Idol Contestant Constantine!" and the crowd of thirteen year old kids shrug while the older women hoot, holler and blow kisses at the one time heart-throb. Mouralis does a mixture of rock and pop, once in a while trying to sneak in a song from his former rock band Pray For The Soul of Betty - the band that broke up right after Constantine lost in the final rounds on American Idol . The rock stuff doesn't go over too well with the bat Mitzvah crowd, but Connie -as the ladies call him - knows how to sway those hips and purse those lips so that the old ladies don't complain. Mouralis always ends his one man show the same way - on bended knee, belting out the last notes of Burt Bacharach's This Guy's In Love With You, grabbing the wrinkled hand of Aunt Selma as he gives her a sly wink. If you make Aunt Selma happy, you make the bat Mitzvah parents happy, and that means a bigger tip at the end of the night. The sad part is that more often than not, Connie will have sipped one too many gin and tonics during his performance and he'll actually try to get Aunt Selman to go home with him. Sometimes he succeeds. And sometimes he wakes up with a strong desire to swallow a bottle of cyanide.
Several miles away at the MTV studios in New York, Bo Bice is in make-up, getting ready for another stint on Metal Flashback. Bo had a seminal hit back in 2006 with Wouldn't it Be Bice, an album comprised of death metal versions of Beach Boys songs (Good Vibrations went to number one) but has had a hard time cracking the Billboard charts since. His frequent appearances on MTV shows and VH1 series like I Love the 2000s filled a void left when Scott Ian retired from the music channel filler show circuit.
We look forward to this summer's American Idol 2005 Reunion Tour, and we hope that Scott Savol will be released from jail (where he is being held on gang-related charges) in time for the show.
I think that bordered on fanfic. I need a shower.
From the IdolonFox site:
IMPORTANT PROGRAM NOTE CHANGE Due to an error with the graphics shown on-screen (incorrect voting numbers were displayed) during the performance recap at the end of last night’s AMERICAN IDOL, a live, one-hour show will air tonight, Wednesday, March 23 9/8c on FOX, to enable a re-vote. This new show will combine new live elements with encores of Tuesday’s performances from the remaining 11 contestants.
Phone lines will open at the conclusion of tonight's show and will remain open for two hours to give viewers the chance to vote for their favorite contestants and keep them in the competition. Only the voting results from tonight’s show will determine who received the lowest number of votes and will be sent home this week. Tune in to see who America has chosen to stay and who is sent home on the live results show tomorrow, Thursday, March 24 9/8c live on FOX.
NEW LIVE SHOW & ENCORE PERFORMANCES THEN RE-VOTE - TONIGHT 9/8c
LIVE RESULTS SHOW - TOMORROW 9/8c
Well. This certainly will be used for some sour grapes later on in the competition, don't you think?
This also means no batteries for any of us tonight! I'm going to hold off on making my elimination predictions until I see how they work this show tonight.
On the bright side - an extra night of looking at Paula and Mikalah!
Update: I'm hearing that the singers will peform LIVE rather than the show airing tapes of last night. Anyone else hear this? That would be weird. Not to mention wrong.
My favorite line from the AI message boards today:
I think the best solution would be to just ask Mikalah if she would like to be put out of her misery.
And, as many people have pointed out, the real losers are those who were waiting patiently for tonight's world premiere of Life on a Stick, which will now be pre-empted.
Read that how you may.
March 22, 2005
What shall the theme be tonight...
Man, Seacrest needs some damned pants that fit. He looks like a hobo.
Theme - Billboard #1's. *yawn*
Anthony (I Knew You Were Waiting, George Michael) - Oh no... Well, at least it isn't a ballad. Kind of a bad sign when you blow the fourth note, eh son. Awful. Simon is going to shred him.
Paula and Randy are HIGH, that's the only explanation.
Carrie (Alone, Heart) - Woo...doing Heart, show me!! Oh damn, I don't care how it sounds now, she looks (and sounds) like Ru Paul! Someone needs to help her with that terrified look.
I see it's Tout My Previous Successes Night for Randy and Paula. We do all remember she couldn't sing worth a damn, right? Damn, Simon, talk about laying on the pressure. Mean man.
Scott (Against All Odds, Phil Collins) - Ok, that was good. That's a hard song, and he did a very good job.
Bo (Time in Bottle, Jim Croce) - Time in a Bottle, eh. I *really* hate that song. However. I think this guy is the SMARTEST of the lot. He had to know everyone was going to go a bit faster tempo this week, after being harped on about it. So he does something that makes him stand out. Nice work.
Nikko (Incomplete, Sisqo) - You make me laugh, son. You should have gone with something with a bit more...class.
Vonzell (Best of My Love, The Emotions) - I like this song, but eh, whatever. She's just too sweet looking, I think. They do need to STOP with the culottes, though. Seriously.
Constantine (I Think I Love You, David Cassidy) - My five year old daughter says, "He doesn't have the talent". Indeed, honey.
Nadia (Time after Time, Cyndi Lauper) - Oh, nice choice. Bad start, thought. Good job with the hair...and VERY good job ramping up the chorus like that. Nice!
Mikalah (Love Will Lead You Back, Taylor Dane) - I now officially hate her. Hated Taylor Dane, when she was recording, too. Bleh, BLEH.
Anwar (Ain't Nobody, Chaka Khan) - Jeebus, this song sucks. And he now sounds female. That's really not a good thing. See? He sounds just like the backup singers.
Yay, No-Neck is next.
Jessica (Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie Tyler) - This will either be a triumph for her or embarrassing as hell. Ok, was that a massive line blowage? Randy is squicking me with his fawning. I'm sorry, she blew a line there, dammit.
Well, not as bad a show as Michele seems to think, but not exactly exciting either.
And Then There Were 11
Welcome to tonight's live blogging of AI.
And tonight's theme is................Billboard Number One Hits.
March 17, 2005
Well Isn't That Special
Seems "personal reasons" is a euphamism for cheating. In case you haven't heard, Mario's gotten himself a posse o lackeys and is off to see the Wizard. Apparently, already having an album out, which is against the rules, didn't stop him from playing the entire AI system.
I hope teenie-boppers are smart enough to punish him for this. Then he can find himself on Celebrity Boxing in a year or two, facing off against Justin Guarini.
Fun With Idol
A walk through the wonderful world of AI items on eBay -
March 16, 2005
Another One Bites The Dust
We've all made our picks. Take a look around the site while we wait for the show to start.
Oh lord. I forgot about the group song thing. Must they torture us like this? The results show should be fifteen minutes long. Tops.
Someone get my Bic. Well thank jeebus that's over.
Of course, Constantine stays. Smarmy bastard.
Nadia's hair looks good like that.
Seacrest is a dick. Seriously.
Federov: In, but not for long I'm betting.
Lindsey: BOTTOM THREE BABY!
Bo: In, of course
Scott: Safe. There is no justice.
Mikalah: TAKE A SEAT ON THE BENCH!
Jessica: Bottom 3
So we've got Lindsey, Mikalah and Jessica in the bottom three.
I know I picked Lindsey, but I swear, I will do handstands if it's Mikalah.
Ok, Jessica is safe. I'm happy no matter how this turns out.
You know, the pretend drama has really gotten old after three years of it.
I AM THE WINNER! Lindsey is going home.
I would have preferred Mikalah to go, but I do like being right. Faith and Robyn were also right, and we get....
Have fun, girls.
And now, we exit quietly as we watch Lindsey get tortured by having to sing in front of a tv audience that hated her.
Exit stage left
Hope it's Nikko. (Michael Jackson? Now? Seriously?!)
For my prediction... I have no idea, so I'll go random and guess Jessica Sierra.
I don't think it'll be Nikko, because his fans are scared now. And more girls vote - and they vote for guys - so I think a girl will get the boot. Carrie, Mikalah, and Nadia seem to have huge online fan bases. And Lindsey and Vonzelle are prettier. And, well, Jessica's boring...
Oh, screw the logic, I just can't stand that she doesn't have a neck.
Don't forget me when I'm gone
If I had one wish that I could wish this first finalist elimination round of American Idol's fourth season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.
If I had two wishes that I could wish for this first finalist elimination round of American Idol's fourth season, the first would be the crap about the kids...and the second would be for Mikalah Gordon to be given the boot.
However, since that ain't bloody likely yet (le sigh) -- my official prediction is that Lindsey Cardinale will be singing her final Idol farewell.
The Fast Train to BuhByeville.
Last night was a snooze fest until Nadia, then Bo lit the place up. Based on the performances, I say Lindsay and Anthony should go. Especially Anthony. He really stunk it up. But Nikko will probably be the big loser. Back in and back out again.
Hasta La Vista Prediction
Should go: Scott
Will go: Lindsey
I just don't see Lindsey having that big of a fan base. I know Scott must have a larege contingent of lonely housewives making calls for him. How else do you explain him still being in it?
Sixties Week Elimination Prediction
This is a toughie...again I'm going to have to go with who I want to go and taking a stab at who probably will go.
Nikko and Lindsey
Vonzell and Scott
I'd give good money to know how much the mass of voters is swayed by the judges opinions. If they are, then my Will Go picks are right out the window.
UPDATE - Shit, does only one get booted tonight? Damn, I'm out of the groove here. If so, then the picks are Lindsey for "Should Go" and Scott for "Will Go".
Who's The First Too Say Bu-Bye? Recap and Prediction
Man, I was really bummed about Anwar last night. He really wasn't as good as he's been. Bad bad song choice. Nadia and Bo were IT though.
Anyway, on to the business at hand. Who's the first to leave the top 12? Hmmmmmm....this is getting harder.
Nikko is the obvious choice. He should be going, but I think he's going to do a George Huff and stick around for a while. I'm want to pick Scott. I've picked him before and been wrong, and I think how much longer can that hillbilly looking gangsa wannabe really stick around? But I closed my eyes while he was singing last night and he really sounded great if you don't have to look at him. Radio-worthy certainly.
OK, OK, I'm picking.....Lindsey. Let the batteries roll!
Mario Vasquez on Letterman
Mario did a Top Ten sequence last night on David Letterman.
March 15, 2005
I love the theme nights, LOVE THEM.
Jessica - I enjoyed this performance. Dammit. She has a good contralto, but the underbite is killing me.
Anwar - Oh, man. I really don't think Night #1 of the final 12 performances is the time to croon, d'you? Here's where watching previous seasons might have paid off for this year's contestants.
Mikalah - The fun has officially worn off. It wasn't a bad performance but she squicks me now. Freaky.
Constantine - I am disappointed how much I'm enjoying his performance. Don't fuck up and make me like you, Constantine.
Lindsey - That's a man, baybee! Ack. Honey, there's a difference between "contralto" and "testosterone supplements". Might want to figure out the difference before hair starts growing on your nuts.
Anthony - No, no, no, no. It'll fly with the teenyboppers who need a CD cover to get wet with, but that's about it. *yawn*
Ok, as sucky as that was, Randy is one grumpy mofo tonight.
Nadia - Holy crap, I love this song. And the timbre of her voice, I got goosebumps. She is smokin'!
Can someone please make Simon stop snorting ninety-seven lines of coke before the show? Please?
Bo - Holy mother of gods. Saved all the good crap for last, I see. Love this song (though the Three Dog Night version is better than the B, S & H version), and he looks like a Rock God up there. Go Bo!!
Vonzell - I'm sorry, sweetie, you do not belong at this level, cute though you are.
Scott - Well, the Ebonics are reduced this week, so that's something to be grateful for. Eh, blah performance though. Too bad.
Carrie - Bored. And who scared the shit out of her before the performance?
Nikko - You actually grab your crotch and I will send a box of Madagascar hissing cockroaches to your dressing room. Twice. And PULL UP YOUR FREAKING PANTS. Get off my stage.
Well, that was disappointing. If it weren't for Bo and Nadia I'd be calling in an airstrike on Hollywood as we speak.
And Then There Were 12
Are you ready for some Idol? We'll be here at 8pm EST, bringing you live snark and derision.
And I'm not going to be bothered speculating about Mario. He's gone. Let's move on and concentrate on the 12 that are here. But say, wouldn't it be kind of funny if Nikko was the first of the 12 to get voted off?
Yea, yea. THe new set is nice.
Well at least they're not treating us like total idiots and they said something about Mario.
And tonight's theme is: The 60's I love the themes. Makes the kids stretch a bit.
Jessica is up first, doing Shop Around
Either my digital cable is messing up, or the sync is off on the sound.
She's really nothing special. Didn't thrill me, didn't make me hate her. Just...average. Not, say, top 5 material.
Anwar up next, singing This House is Not a Home. Tymara (sp) sang this first season. So my daughter tells me.
Not a great song choice for Anwar. I thought he'd choose something more..peppy. My least favorite Anwar performance so far.
These people should know by now that Simon likes risk takers.
Mikalah, my least favorite person, doing Son of a Preacher Man.
She has totally changed her look. TOTALLY. Her best performance yet, but that's not saying much. Gone is the nasally tone, the frumpy look...but I still can't like her. Still, depsite improvement, nothing special. Ugh, must she talk?
Constantine doing You Make Me So Very Happy.
This is the best his voice has sounded, but he still has that Daffy Duck sort of speech impedement. And he's just so damn smarmy. Eh. Go home, Connie.
Lindsey doing Knock on Wood. (I love the disco version of this song)
She has done NOTHING for me this entire competition and she is keeping that streak going right now. Tries too hard to get that deep effect to her voice.
Anthony doing Breaking Up is Hard to Do
Do I like anyone in this competition? Anthony is another one who's just like a wet rag.
This isn't bad though....For me, this was his most impressive performance.
And now Randy brings out the "hotel" cliche. I guess if I didn't like Anthony all along, it didn't take much for me to think he sounded good. He's not finalist material, but he didn't embarass himself.
Nadia doing You Don't Have to Say You Love Me - good choice, I think.
She is sssssmokin. Wow. Stellar peformance. Flawless.
Hamburgers? Hahaha. Oh, Simon. You are such a walking cliche.
Bo doing Spinning Wheel.
Good choice. I like him. I really like him. He's got....something going on. Something good.
Vonzell singing Anyone Who Had a Heart
This song is beyond her reach. She just doesn't have it.
Nadia and Bo make this show worth watching. Everyone else is just filler.
Scott, doing Ain't Too Proud to Beg. Gee, how original.
Scott does NOT belong here. He's got all the charisma of Napoleon Dynamite in that dance scene. Are his eyes open or closed? Ok, it ws TERRIBLE, but he's got NO personality.
Mostly in tune? I can't believe Randy gave him props for that. At this point in the competition, shouldn't he be ALL in tune?
Carrie "Thank god I'm a country girl" Underwood doing When Will I Be Loved.
She really needs to get out of the country rut. Stretch it Carrie. Show us you can do something else. I'm finding her rather...average. The audience apparently finds something more.
Replacement man Nikko up, doing I Want You Back
Buh bye, Nikko. Back where you were just two days ago. Sorry for teasing you like this.
Ok, maybe it's just me. Everyone seems to adore this guy, I don't see anything special about him.
Yes, thank you, Simon.
And that's it for tonight. My daughter is voting for Constantine. I'm putting a call in for Bo to negate her rocker vote. Heh.
Y'all come back tomorrow for the results show. I'll make my prediction before the show starts, but I'm looking at you, Jessica.
March 14, 2005
The Drudge Report (take with usual tablespoon of salt) is hinting this morning that Senor Vasquez quit the competition because he didn't want to be tied to AI's notoriously restrictive contract. Rumors on what the contract contains from this fan board (so take with the usual carton of salt):
All of the contestants have been under a general contract. The top ten have the sign a new and updated contracted that has more restrictions and goes into detail how much the IDOL people have control and how much money they will get. Apparently it is a five year contract and the producers get 35-50% of your earnings. They also have control over your look and image. All top 12 people were given a copy of the contract and it had to be signed before Tuesdays performance. The two that get voted out will not be held to the contract terms -- only the top ten.
If this is why he left, then it might actually have been a smart move...IF he can avoid being blacklisted for not "playing the game". And I have a feeling that's a big IF. Simon looks like a vindictive bastard, doesn't he?
As to the "famiy issues" excuse, apparently his mom has no idea what "family issues" they might be having:
But Vazquez's mom, Ada, said she knew of no problem involving the family and had not idea why he left the show.
Good riddance, I say, I won't have to look at that awful nose, or his freakish collection of hats, anymore.
March 13, 2005
Mario Leaves American Idol [Updated]
American Idol 4 top 12 finalist Mario Vazquez withdrew himself from the competition on March 13th, stating personal reasons for his decision. Mario was a fan favorite and expected to do very well this year, possibly even capturing the title of American Idol 4 Winner.
Inside sources tell me that Mario was unhappy and felt like this was not the place for him. He was having a difficult time in many areas and although he appreciated this opportunity, he chose to leave
Nikko Smith, who was the last male contestant to be eliminated from the show will take Marios vacant top 12 spot and continue in the competition this year.
If you'll take a look at the Idol contestant page, you'll see Nikko's photo where Mario's used to be.
Thanks to Greg for the heads up on this.
So what does this mean? It means that Bo's chances of being in the final round just got higher. I originally thought it would be Anwar and Mario as the final two - now with Mario gone, Bo has a chance to get in there.
More here .
Vazquez tells “Extra” that, “It was a very, very hard decision on my part…‘American Idol’ was only positive and wonderful with me…but overall, my intuition told me there was things I really needed to take care of, personal areas in my life that I’m trying to keep private…to me that meant that I couldn’t continue on with the competition.” Vazquez goes on to say, “Everything is great! I’ll be expecting some bad press and some good press, but that’s what comes with being in the public.”
So what's Mario running from?
Somebody is up to no good! (Thanks, Skillzy)
March 09, 2005
You are the weakest link! (Elimination Night)
We've made our picks. Now let's see who gets the batteries. Go check around the site and see who we all picked.
Whoa. Lindsey moves on! Stacy and I just lost a battery. (I'm not explaining the batteries thing. It's from past elimination nights)
I freaking knew he was going to do that. Constantine and Bo remain. Of course - it makes for good tv. They can play up the little rivalry between them.
Only this show can make a half hour feel like ten.
After the break: Prediction. Janay and Mikalah go home. Travis and Scott go home.
Oh, Seacrest putting the judges on the spot. And of course, Paula wimps out.
Wow. Never expected Scott to make it through. I am SO out of batteries tonight.
Nikko and Travis go home.
OhgoddamnfuckinghellNOOOO. Another freaking weak of The Nanny.
Goodbye Ms. Deer In The Headlights and bitchface Amanda.
Well, it's an interesting top 12, at least. Should be some good drama queen acts.
I'm going to take my one battery and comfort myself with it.
Tomorrow, I'll have something up about the final 12 and the rest of the competition.
Hey, hey, hey - goodbye!
Here are my predictions for tonight. Sorry I haven't been around much as of late. Life, pregnancy and a 13-month old seem to have taken first priority...
On the guys side, I'd like to dedicate a pack of Duracell Coppertops to: Constantine (wishful thinking, perhaps) and Travis
And on the girls side, a pack of Energizer MAX is dedicated to: Janay (heaven above, please don't let her have the voting block we fear) and Mikalah (if there is any justice in this world)
I'll probably be lucky to go 1-3...so maybe I should term this a "wishlist" instead of a predictions list...but we'll see! Show's about to start!
Predictions and Wishful Thinking
Faith and Stacy have both posted their predictions for tonight, as well as who they want to go home. I'll do the same.
I would be thrilled if I never had to look at Janay and Mikalah again. But I'm torn - I can't stand Lindsey or Amanda either. Can I stick pins in all of them?
As for who I think will be voted off as opposed to who I want to physically kick off the stage?
Say buh-bye to Janay and Lindsey.
Boys: This is a tough one. I'd like to see Scott, Anthony and Constantine go. Scott and Anthony seem like nice enough people, but I've had enough of their nancy boy voices. And Constantine? He's just a dick. He's smarmy, egotistical and annoying as hell.
Who is going to go?
Travis and Scott.
I am so looking forward to the themes.
Faith has the right idea...note who you want to be eliminated separately from who you think will be eliminated.
Want: Jessica, Amanda, Janay and Lindsey. What? I can want four gone if I want. Nyah.
Think: Janay and Lindsey
Want: Constantine and Scott. See earlier post re: Constantine and grinder mishap. And I used to be a Scott fan, but with the little physical image change he's undergone, he has also begun to inexplicably speak Ebonics, and that's just irritating.
Think: Travis and Scott
Whatever transpires tonight, I am HELLA glad we'll be down to the final twelve and we can dispense with playtime. The theme nights are my favorite, hope they have something better than fricking Manilow night lined up this year.
Round Three Elimination Predictions
Well, it's down to the final 12 after tonite. Who's going? Unfortunately who I think will be going and who I want to go are two totally separate issues.
Who I WANT to go:
Anthony (yes, he started as my favorite, but now I'm not impressed)
Who I THINK will go (AKA, my actual predictions):
Janay (there is no god if she's still around after tonite)
Vonzell (should be Amanda, but won't be)
Scott (come one, he can't speak English and face it, he's UGLY)
Anthony (unless the Clay contingent really came out in force)
I use too many parentheses.
March 08, 2005
Howler Monkey Night
Yeah, I'm more than a little sick of the girls this year...
Amanda - My hatred for you increases weekly. My dream scenario at this point is a you/Constantine sandwich coinciding with a horrific industrial grinder accident.
Janay - Finally someone told her to take out the hell-yellow contacts and we see her real eye color. If she'd done that from the beginning she might have made it further. Sad performance though, I think her confidence is shot at this point.
Carrie - Wow, someone who can belt Bonnie Raitt stooping to this wussy stuff? Good thing your boobs are all glittery.
Vonzell - Sweet, and fun. For once I agree with crack-whore Paula.
Nadia - Thank the gods this version is more reminiscent of Three Dog Night than Otis Redding. I love this girl, she's probably supplanting Mikalah in my favor this evening. *coff*
Lindsey - Aerosmith. How owdinawy. </Lili von Schtup> Niiiice Seacrest slam. I <3 Simon. Again.
Mikalah - OMG, I just figured out who she reminds me of when she speaks...the hoor Steve Martin picks up in The Man With Two Brains, the one who sings "Duke of Oil (Earl)" in the most awful Brooklyn accent. Ugh. Tonight's performance, however, does not suck. At least the majority of it isn't coming through her nose.
Jessica - A fat face, no neck, a lisp AND an underbite. I cannot stand looking at this girl. That said, this song doesn't suck...oh, but the riffing does. Ugh, go. Now.
Amanda up first. Again, I just don't like her, so I'm not going to have anything nice to say about her.
Ok, I figured this out. She reminds me of this bitch I went to junior high with.
She's too squeaky for me. And either the sound is bad, or she's out of breath in some places. Not good enough for the final 12.
I can't get past her freaked-out-all-the-time look.
ACK. OFF. KEY.
She is just godfuckingawful. No other way to put it.
Why can't Paula just say "you sucked" and get on with it? She needs to get over this penchant for being nice to everyone. If these people want to be stars, they better learn how to take criticism. So stop freaking coddling them.
Carrie, one of the few marginally talented girls left, is up now.
The sparkly boobs are a nice touch.
That was nice. But I wish she would sing something with more power. When she sings quietly, she sounds nervous. I do like her. However, she needs a stylist. A fashion update. Something besides sparkly boobs.
Vonzell, coming up.
Why do people do these songs over and over again. Once again, I must say that these people have no BALLS. And who dressed her? Debra Winger?
Not as good as last week, which was her best week. She won't get voted off this week, but she's no finalist. She's cute, though. I like her personality.
Nadia coming up. She's been my favorite girl since the start, but her star fell a little bit last week. I hope she can come back strong tonight.
Ok, I'm digging this. Go, Nadia! Stage presence, personality, good looks, nice legs and a voice that kicks ass.
Lindsey up now.
Ick. About five notes in and she made me cringe. And that is the Frumpiest. Outfit. Ever.
You know, one of these girls should do some Lita Ford.
I want to punch Randy in the face for every time he's ever said aight.
Oh hell no. Mikalah is doing one of my favorite songs.
I'm sticking toothpicks in my ears now.
I moved on to stabbing my eardrums with ice picks.
THE EAR PLUGS, THEY DO NOTHING!
Flat, nasally, emotionless.
I want Randy or Paula to just come out and say 'YOU SUCKED!'
And for the love of show tunes, please stop calling it a Barbra Streisand song. It's from West Side Story. Long before Babs tried to make it her own.
Jessica, the bar babe, is up.
That was interesting. I still feel like I'm in a bar when she's singing, though. Beer, anyone?
That's it for tonight. Come back tomorrow night when we finally say goodbye to Janay.
I'm Coming Out Of The Closet
Michele emailed me an MP3 of Anwar's performance last night. I tell you, Wonderful World is one of my all time all time favorite songs. Who would have thought I could like it more?!
I was so tearing up last night while he was singing it. Listening to it again today, well, I got chills I tell ya, CHILLS. And teary eyed. Again. This guy just has to win. Even if he doesn't, he's so going places. I've never bought an Idol album, but if he makes one, I'll be first in line. FIRST in line.
OK, make fun of me, I'm a big ol sap.
March 07, 2005
Scott, that song is soooo old. You couldn't have done a worse thing for your image, my fren.
I know it's a wedding song, I know it's sappy and saccharine, but I still love it. And, I just paused the TIVO replay and voted for Bo like ten times. *hangs head*
Finally nailed what it is that bugs me about Federov...there's no power in his voice. Sounds like an adolescent with perfect pitch, yelling at the top of his lungs. Bleh. The Wiggles, bahahahaha!!! I <3 Simon.
Nikko you don't have enough pain in your life to pull off this song. Send me that hat immediately and I'll change my mind.
You complete bastards. I *just* quit drinking Coke. I've been clean for months now...and you go and put lime in it. Bastards.
Here's the thing, Travis...Bobby Brown is a wife-beating, drug-doing skeevebag, and, either because of that or not, every speck of his music both sucked and blowed. I would like to personally thank you for doing this song though, since it ensures your ass gets booted right the hell off the show. /official prediction
Aaand Mario desecrates one of my favorites with his little tenor voice. He is now officially dead to me. Anyone else think he sounded like a girl on this song? Gah.
Constantine might have pulled off this song were it not for his overwhelming smarminess. I do believe he is singing down to us, people. (only being a tiny bit sarcastic) Paula seriously needs to lay off the crack, his best performance ever?? Not. Simon is the only sane person on that freaking set.
Well, I would complain that Anwar is doing a song that's too old, but that arrangement was fantastic. I wonder how much input he is getting into them...
3/7 Boys Night Out
You can read my take on Bo v. Constantine here.
Scott's up first and he's doing one of those "safe" songs. If I had a dollar for every contestant that did this song over the years, I would be out for a steak dinner and not here.
That was LAME. It's all downhill from here, Scott.
Oh come ON, guys. At this point in the show, you should not be singing Sugar Pie Honey Bunch. Sorry. Next.
It's Bo Bice time. He has a lot to live up to.
Hmmm, ballad? What is this song?
Well, his voice sounds great and he's showing his range, which is I suppose what it's all about. I really have come to like Bo. His voice is smooth and he has a great stage presence.
On review, that was pretty damn awesome.
HAHAHA when he first said BABY, I thought he was doing the theme song from WKRP in Cincinatti.
What is that thing on his jacket? And why do I close my eyes and think I'm in some Miami Vice decorated club in the 80's and George Michael is on the jukebox and we're all yawning?
I'm sorry Paula and Dawg man, I think he's just white bread bland.
Oh and SNAP by Simon! The Wiggles!
Ok, I'll give Anthony props. It wasn't horrible. But it was not winning material either. I think he did buy himself another week, though.
Ok. Several weeks into this thing, I'm just about ready to hunt Hootie down, chop him up and serve him at the BK drive thru window.
Nikko Smith doing Georgia. This could be a mistake.
You've got have power and emotion to pull this song off. He has neither. At the part where he should have powered up, he changed the key.
Ok, hit hit the last notes, but I still think he's going home this week.
Oh PLEASE. Randy is falling all over him. It wasn't wonderful. It was OK. And OK does not win this competition.
I'm really sick of Constantine's mug.
Travis up now. Bobby Brown?
Well this is different, that's for sure. Kudos for him for going out on a limb like this.
I like him in spite of myself. I think he's got a nice stage presence, a smooth voice. He's not making me scream, but I like. Not finalist material, but good for another week or two.
Simon was a bit harsh on him. And he's got to stop trying to come up with clever comparisons.
Mario coming up. He's got to do something really horrendous to disappoint at this juncture.
I like this song. Let's see what he does with it.
He is SMOOOOOTH. He's not really reaching, not extending himself, and he's still sounding good. And looking good.
HOWEVER. I think that the finals will be very interesting. Bo could really challenge Mario for that last spot next to Anwwar (just a little predicting there).
Constantine and Anwar next. At this point (this very second) I can't imagine anyone but Anwar winning the whole thing. I'm anxious to see what Constantine pulls out of his hat tonight. Will he rock? Will he croon? Will he SUCK?
OH my goodness. He's doing THE POLICE. He needed to come out and ROCK tonight.
Wow. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG CHOICE. I feel like I'm watching a high school talent show.
Suck it, Constantine. You're going home.
Ok, Randy's out of his fucking mind. Is it me? Am I just imagining the suckitude of that performance?
Go, Simon! Go, Simon! At least someone on that show isn't doing crack in between takes.
Last but not least, Anwar. No matter what he does tonight, he's safe.
Nice song choice. Weird arrangement. Nice performance. Very, very nice. The man is a star. He's got it ALL going on. Everything. He's going to have to kill a kitten on stage at this point to not win it.
And that's it for tonight. Looks like Anwar is still the favorite. I'm looking at Scott and Constantine going home this week. If not Constantine, Nikko.
See you for the girls tomorrow night.
March 02, 2005
Two for four, not bad at all. Now me and my ear infection are going to watch Power Tool Drag Racing. In the words of fellow Idol Tonguer, Broken:
If we have to deal with a teeny Janay loving voting block this season, I'm going to puke.
Round Two - Goin' Home
Thank jebus tonight is only one half hour. Let's see how they play this.
Some of us have made our predictions, so look around to the site to see who's getting batteries tonight (joke from last week).
Round Two Elimination Predictions
Since I did such a bangup job predicting last week...don't expect much better this week. Kindly note my choices tend to be more on the side of "hopes" instead of actual predictions.
Boys - Joseph and Constantine
Joseph looks like he could conceivably murder kittens for fun, and Constantine just gets more irritating as time passes. He's not pretty, can barely sing, certainly not street, just booooring.
Girls - Celene and Janay
Said it all in the review of last night's performances. Celene is there because she doesn't need 20lbs stripped off her ass and Janay needs some seasoning.
And thank whatever producer gods decided to make tonight's show a half hour instead of an hour. Perhaps they're realizing just how ridiculous the false-drama really is. *snerk* Yeah, I don't really believe that either.
Round Two Elimination Picks
Tanya and Faith beat me to it today - but I'm not reading their posts until I make my picks:
Girls: Amanda and Janay
I'd prefer to see Lindsey, Mikalah or Jessica go, but I think they all bought themselves one more week, at least.
Guys: David, who put me to sleep, and Scott. Scott was a favorite in the beginning, but he's gone downhill ever since. Personally, I think Anthony should go, but he's still got a lock with those Clay Aiken fans, so he'll get by for another week.
Faith beat me to it. (I forced myself not to read it til I post mine, tho.) Here's my predictions:
Boys - Joe and Constantine
Girls - Amanda and Janay
Ok, there's a little bit of bias in there...
Round Two Elimination Prediction
Better get this done early today. Michele was so mad at me last week! I have to say, the girls were less than stellar as a group last night, and most of them outright sucked, which will make this difficult. At least they cut the show time down to 1/2 hour. It was so tedious last week.
Girls: Janay and Lindsey
Guys: Travis and David
Bring on the free batteries!
Girls Schmirls, Part 2
Yeah, I'm late....had to TIVO the thing then watch it between bouts of soul-wracking coughing, sue me.
Aloha: There are no words for how much this chick bores me. Please, can she go away this week?
Lindsey: I am so tired of these long lingerie-looking tops. Whoever is giving these girls style advice needs to be tarred and feathered.
Jessica: I'm sorry, but chubby-faced blondes are as big an irritant to me as short men. Plus, her front teeth are amazingly protuberant. I know, that sort of thing could be fixed, but would I be talking about it if her performance had impressed me at all. "Best female vocal performance thusfar"? Simon needs to quit thinking with his johnson.
Mikalah: WTF is this song anyway. And could she please stop singing through her nose? I love this girl, she has great personality, but someone please stop the madness.
Celene: Go. Away. I totally agree with...whoever said it...if this girl were not marginally cute she never would have made it this far.
Nadia: Damn, how disappointing. This chick has more rocker cred than all the guys put together to me, I'd like to see her back in ripped jeans stomping a hole in the stage. Talk about someone who can handle a Janis Joplin song...
Amanda: She has pipes, to be sure, but that was just not exciting at all. Another unfortunate wardrobe choice, and dear, there comes a time in our lives, no matter how skinny we are, when a bra is simply a necessity. It's icky to see Simon drooling over her.
Janay: I liked this song very much, having never heard it elsewhere, but she simply has to get over the wide-eyed crap. It's not endearing in the least, if it's an affectation, that is, and not real terror.
Carrie: Bless her heart, I liked this, it was well done technically, but just not exciting or moving like the Bonnie Raitt stuff.
Vonzelle: I love this girl, she is gorgeous to look at...but she needs help with song choices.
I'm so glad I don't bother with the voting. The only person who is exciting me this year is Bo. (No, not that way.) Can't wait for the *yawn* eliminations tonight. Zzzzz...
March 01, 2005
3/1 - The Girls
Aloha - Eh. Not a great start for the night. She sounded fine, but I liked her a lot better last week.
Lindsey - Hate the outfit. Maternity wear? Cool song. Nice end note. She still isn't showing her voice, but she's a lot more entertaining than last week. She needs to do some creole song. Or even the Be Good Tanyas. That's what got my attention in her audition.
Jessica - Boring night. This is ok for range and stuff, but it's still safe and boring. I really thought the girls were going to bring it, after last night.
Mikalah - Wow. I love this song madly, and someone did it badly, a few weeks ago. And I totally didn't expect to hear it from her. That was beautiful. I'm sick of slow songs, but she nailed that. Her voice is amazing.
Celene - Hey, anticlimax. Nice, big voice. Nice, yadda. Eh. I'm just bored with everything tonight.
Nadia - Please, Nadia. Please don't bore me. Please? Well, it's a good song choice for her voice and range, but not for her style. She's trying to show variety, and prove that she has a voice, I think. And, well, succeeding, but I like her better rocking.
Amanda - Did we not learn last year that Gloria Estafan is a NO? Gads, she's so Vegas. And she totally blew the only cool part of the song. Blah.
Janay - Better than last week, but she went too far in the other direction. I think she went too risque, personally, when she's still that nervous, and it looked weird. And she needs to sing LOUDER. Yeah, Paula said it. Commit to the song.
Carrie - Countrified Janis. Huh. Again, a fine performance, but it's not moving me. Feh.
Vonzelle - *SIGH* Wake me when this is over.
The men put these broads to shame. Mikalah was the only spark tonight.
Girls Night out 3/1
The boys rocked the house last night - can the girls match their performance?
Me, I'm not holding my breath. With the exception of Carrie, Aloha and Nadia, the girls are weak. And Aloha better have toned down the girl-on-the-street vibe if I'm going to keep pulling for her.
I'm in bitch mode tonight. It's been one of those days. So stay tuned for an hour of me having no patience with the AI girls (or Paula) tonight.
Tanya is doing her take over here.