March 21, 2006
3/21/06
By Michele
Early start tonight with an article to ponder: What's the deal with Kevin still being around?
Oh jesus save me. It's Barry Manilow night.
Mandis up first. Oh, so it's not just Barry Manilow songs? Ok, 50's songs.
She looks great.
Man, I love her voice. She is a STAR. That's a hard act to follow.
Bucky coming up.
That was ok. Fun, but nothing that really moved me.
Paris up next.
I starte out loving her at auditions and now I'm...meh. There's something about her that rubs me the wrong way.
Ok, this is good. But I still don't think it's WOW.
Chris up next. YAY.
Oh, this is gonna be good.
Oh god. He could sing the freaking phone book at this point and I would love it.
Simon is going to say that Chris isn't showing any variety and that he needs to do something besides rock.
Ok, I was completely wrong.
Katherine up.
I really can't stand her. I don't like her stage presence or her attitude or her look in general. And she has turned this song boring.
Eek. I hated that. She is screechy.
Did Simon hear the same thing as me? Wow.
Taylor up.
The suit has to go.
That was fun. It's better if you close your eyes when he's on.
Ok kids, I'm tired and nursing a headache. Carry on with your bad selves for the rest of the show.
I dunno about Chicken Little, but I just saw a "Pick Pickler" sign in the audience.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:02 PM
Something about Barry Manilow...say, does anyone ever think about Barry Manilow without also envisioning Principal Vernon rifling through his wardrobe?
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 08:05 PM
I pick pickler to go home sooner than later. Good evening my chums. Are we ready to be catty? I know Kevin will suck tonight, I just hope America stops voting for him. Oh, and the show is two hours for just 11 performances. Get ready for LOTS of filler.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:05 PM
At least they're singing '50s numbers instead of Manilow tunes.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:07 PM
God Barry Manilow does a great Clay Aiken impression. HEY MANDISA is singing.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:08 PM
Wow. Cancel the other 11, Mandisa is *on*.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 08:09 PM
Mandisa.
She looks like she's been doin this forever. Very nice. She growls so purdy.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:09 PM
Mandissa. Did ok until that finish. Didn't like that at all. Still not too bad a start.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 08:10 PM
I totally agree Timmer, She's a pro all the way. Her, Hicks, and Chris only real commercial talent in the group.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:10 PM
Mandisa: Really good, although there was a little too much shouting at the end for me. She's so damn good, though....
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 08:11 PM
Hey y'all!
Thank God for Mandisa!
I thought I was going to have to vomit when I saw Barry fuckin' Manilow was the guy for tonight.
Watch Chicken Boy and Ace ruin the whole night, though. I'm shuddering at the thought of them singing.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:11 PM
Did Paula just say "You took me back to the fifties? That's pretty hard for someone who was born in the 60's...
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 08:12 PM
I might have to send hate mail if Seacrest ever says "bling" again.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:12 PM
Paula can go to any time she wants if she gets the mix of pills and booze right.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 08:13 PM
Touche Ian. :)
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 08:14 PM
I'm trying to figure out what song would be the most unintentionally funny when sung by Chicken Boy. He totally nailed that category with "Part-Time Lover" last week.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 08:15 PM
how funny is it that there's a Chicken Little commercial on?
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:15 PM
Shit, Ian, I had finally purged my memory of that nightmare. Now it's there again! Gahhhh!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:16 PM
Definetely pay attention to how Paula's mental state deteriorates (sp) during the course of the evening. BETH!!! I'm glad you're hear. I got scared I'd have to watch AI tonight with out your comments. I DREAD kevin singing.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:16 PM
Pothead doing Oh boy. This could be good. I've started to like him. Wonder how far he'll make it.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 08:17 PM
:-D Chad!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:17 PM
I'm pretty sure the LAST person I'd want coaching me is Manilow.
Oh, shit. Pothead forgot the ponytail.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:18 PM
Does Pothead have a cold or something? He sounds off.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 08:19 PM
you'll be calling me pothead by the end of the night will all my spelling errors. BUCKY NEEDS A HAIRCUT. Bottom line. And A shave. And a good dental plan. BUt other than that I like him. Oh, and maybe some contacts. And a new wardrobe. Then he'd be good. OH BOY
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:19 PM
This sucks.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:19 PM
SUCKS HUGE
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:19 PM
Bucky doin' Buddy Holly. Oh Boy!
Good song choice.
He shouldn't try to perform.
Bucky, Bucky, Bucky, if you're not Bobby Darin or Wayne Newton don't do the drop the microphone hand change.
Well...it sounded okay...not great...but okay. He needs some serious work on his presentation.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:20 PM
What the fuck is Randy wearing on his wrist? That bracelet seems off.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:20 PM
Perfect song for Bucky? I dunno. Maybe it's 'cause I just hate that song.
See, I knew Simon wouldn't like it.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:21 PM
I like Bucky, but this didn't feel like his best work. And following Mandisa didn't help him much. Not bad at all, but not his best.
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 08:21 PM
You tell him Simon. And Simon was being nice. That was really really awful.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:21 PM
Thank you Simon. I'm starting to wonder if I'm the only one who hates Bucky.
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 08:21 PM
Not the worst song I heard. It won't be the worst tonight. That's for sure. Kevin is coming up soon. Shudder.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 08:21 PM
Cig cig time. Beth, I'm really digging your BamaPacha site. Do you maintain that all on your own?
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:21 PM
Is it just me or is Paula extra crispy tonight?
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:22 PM
OK, that's a weird look in Bucky's eye. I wonder if he and Paula are sharing from the "Idol Stash".
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 08:23 PM
I love "Fever". Paris better not ruin it.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 08:24 PM
Thanks, Chad! Yeah, for the most part. I have a couple others who post there occasionally though, usually a few posts on the weekends while I sleep. :-)
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:24 PM
OFF
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:24 PM
Paris has some great pipes. I totally agree with Manilow. Win or lose Idol, she'll be around for a long time. We'll see her albums in the stores.
However, this isn't hitting it for me. Not sure why.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 08:25 PM
The Off comment was meant to Paris. She can sing, but not the greatest performance from her. Beth, I'll start commenting on your articles.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:25 PM
Me too, Ian, and I think she sounds too young with this. She doesn't suck, but it's not her best.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:25 PM
Paris singing Fever.
Didn't like the "cool" first half.
Damn that girl can sing.
Very nice.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:26 PM
Did Constantine just pout on cue?
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:26 PM
I probably can't blame Paris for it, but that was easily 20 BPM too fast. "Fever" is supposed to be sloooow and sullltry, and that was neither.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 08:26 PM
Awww, how sweet. Everyone's being nice 'cause she's a little kid.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:26 PM
Paris is really good at the bluesy kind of thing. I liked that a lot.
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 08:27 PM
Now it's time for a cigarette.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:28 PM
Her baby (speaking) voice drives me insane.
I'm extra cranky tonight because I didn't bother to go to sleep last night. No sleep. Ace and Kevin will be feeling the hate.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:28 PM
Smoke 'em if you got 'em!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:29 PM
Ya know...I'm not sure I'm buyin' the sweet cutesy kid on her anymore than I believe Pickler's "down home" thing. It's over the top.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:29 PM
I'm leaning that way too, Timmer. I thought Paris was awesome before, but she's losing me.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:32 PM
...or I could just be extra cranky because I spent three freakin' hours in the dentist's chair this afternoon. The dentist SUCKS at giving pain-killer injections. My jaw is throbbing.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:32 PM
Awesome. I won't be the only megacrank tonight! Let the hate flow! muahahahaa!!!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:34 PM
STFU, Barry, you fuck.
You can't tell this guy how to sing.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:35 PM
How many facelifts has barry manilow had already? He's face is tighter than Gedeon Mckinney canvas.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:35 PM
Eh.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:36 PM
Paula needs a panty change.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:37 PM
Perfection.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 08:37 PM
This is Walk the Line?
Wow, he TOTALLY changed it. Good stuff, though, once he got rockin'.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:38 PM
Gee, I hope no one has a siezure looking at those flashes.
I think I'm a bit biased, but I loved that. I thought it was incredible.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 08:38 PM
Dude, that gave me chills all the way to the top of my head.
Posted by: Tanya at March 21, 2006 08:38 PM
Ian, you know the drill. ANd I know I have until 9am to DL it from ya.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:38 PM
Do i need to say it again? Paula needs a panty change.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:39 PM
Tim: no, you certainly don't.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 08:40 PM
Simon freaking clapped. Has hell frozen over?
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 08:40 PM
He's going to win this, and if he doesn't, they should cancel AI.
Of course I said that last year about Bo Bice, and I actually think winning AI is the kiss of death unless you want to be Clay or Kelly or whatever.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:40 PM
Chris started off fairly weak, I thought, but he finished up really well. Simon's totally right: he's the first person ever on this show to really make it his own. That seizure-inducing light thing he uses has got to stop, though!
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 08:40 PM
Constantine doesn't deserve to carry Chris' guitar case.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:40 PM
or his guitar pick
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:41 PM
The skinny white girl is going to do Ella? This is going to be interesting.
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 08:42 PM
Did he just say Katherine will be doing Ella? Are you freaking kidding? No one does Ella. She's better than Aretha for criminy sakes. That's gutsy.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 08:42 PM
Jaq, that's exactly what I think.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:42 PM
So my local FOX affiliate ran an item on Kellie Pickler last week. They showed a video of her singing on North Carolina Idol AND she was wearing that shinny blue top of hers--the same one she wore to her audition and the same one she wore in Hollywood week. That girl needs a new outfit bad. I really hate this girl. She's about as sincere as a democrat vowing to cut taxes. (New Jersey Gov. just raised them like mad)
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:44 PM
I know I'm probably the only one who isn't a Katherine fan, but she bores the hell out of me. SHE is actually the most AI-ish of all of them.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:44 PM
I don't know why, but when I see the "personal" side of Katherine, my hate nerves twitch.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:47 PM
HA! Me too.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:47 PM
Booty shot
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:48 PM
Very very "pitchy".
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 08:49 PM
Hey, yo! My freaking computer is freaked!
Anyway, Chris blew everyone away! He wins. Everyone else go home, now.
Who's Ryan Cabrera again?
Nanny McPhee is okay, but I heard chicks like her sing in my college musical.
Posted by: Denise at March 21, 2006 08:49 PM
What's up with her cocaine '80s dress?
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:49 PM
Before the commercial, when Ryan said that Katharine was next, I had to ask myself, "Who?" But I'm liking this performance quite a bit, although I suspect it might draw the dreaded "karaoke" crit from Simon.
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 08:49 PM
*YAWN*
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:50 PM
Not loving her voice tonight either. She's trying to out-sharp the sax.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:50 PM
I am a big katherine fan, I want to like this, but it's why you never do Ella, Mariah, Aretha, etc. You can never compare... Didn't do it for me.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 08:50 PM
She was all over the map on that one. Not her best by far. She got really nervous about 2/5ths in.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:50 PM
The ony thing I remember Ryan Cabrera from was when he co-starred in Eddie and the Cruisers II, Eddie Lives.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:51 PM
Figures Paula-Pill-Popper would like that cocaine-era dress.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:51 PM
Still I give her credit. It's a tough thing to sing. She's not taking the easy road in this.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 08:52 PM
I've never disagreed with Simon more.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:52 PM
Feh.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:52 PM
Paula's been sharing with Simon. The only way that's in the "special" category is if "special" means "short bus".
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 08:52 PM
Wow, now "karaoke" mention at all. Shows what I know!
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 08:52 PM
Yay, that means the idiots are on last and I can crash out! w00t!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:53 PM
Leisure Suit Hicks up next. Love the guy, hate the suit.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:53 PM
He's wearing a leisure suit? I missed that. WTF!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:55 PM
lol Ian!
Posted by: Denise at March 21, 2006 08:55 PM
NO BETH, you may not sleep. If i have to suffer through Kevin then you do too. :D
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:55 PM
Come Beth, you gotta hold out for the Chicken Little Hate Fest.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:55 PM
Yeah. Suffering through Kevin makes you stronger. Or something.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 08:56 PM
OK, but I'm going to either be spitting hate or falling asleep at the keyboard. ;-)
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:58 PM
or something
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:58 PM
Save the hate for four more minutes while my buddy Taylor goes.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:58 PM
Taylor doin' "Fade Away." Everyone ready to hand jive?
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 08:58 PM
I love the grateful dead version of this song.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:59 PM
I think Taylor's twitch scares Barry.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:59 PM
I love this guy with his crazy dancing.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 08:59 PM
Taylor has a twitch? I never not.. ohhhhhhhh, the twitch. :D
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 08:59 PM
Dear lord, for a minute I thought the sax player was Scott Savol.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:00 PM
Ahhhh! Taylor's my horse this year. I love this guy, right down to the shitty dancing!
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 09:00 PM
Ian, maybe you're hte one that needs the sleep. :)
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:00 PM
Natural, groovin', I've got a grin on my face a mile wide.
That was just a good time.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 09:01 PM
Taylor's too original for this show.
Posted by: Denise at March 21, 2006 09:01 PM
Panty change number two for paula on the night
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:01 PM
Honestly, I don't even care about his voice. The crazy shit makes him my favorite.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:01 PM
Anyway, I dunno. I like Taylor, but I don't think that was his best performance.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:01 PM
I absolutely agree Beth, it's his performance, what he brings to the stage that sells him. Voice wasn't great on that one. Song lyrically isn't challenging.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:02 PM
You're right, Denise. Way too original.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:02 PM
Oh, bah humbug.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:02 PM
Ditto Denise
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:02 PM
That 6 y.o girl looked like she was about to finger the camera. Anyone else notice that?
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:03 PM
ROFL. "Paula, you're talking rubbish!"
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:03 PM
OK, Simon hahahaa "rubbish"
He loved Katherine, blah, and didn't like this? Usually I agree with him, but on these.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:04 PM
Oh, thank GOD, we don't have to suffer through the three stooges before Lisa.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:05 PM
Does anyone else think it gives certain contestants an advantage when the bend performs with them? On some performances, such as this, a featured musician comes out on stage. Others have really good special effects (Chris always gets the good smoke effect.) Meanwhile, some others get no production for their performances. Any thoughts?
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:05 PM
Good point, Chad -- you're right, especially with Chris' stuff.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:08 PM
Boy, you get some funky commercials when you watch AI on a Canadian station....
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 09:08 PM
Chad: that certainly helps, but I'd love Chris and Mandisa just as much if they were standing on chairs in my backyard :)
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:09 PM
It's almost like producers by putting together more of a show around the song give that performance an edge it might not ordinarilly have. Chicken little's performance last week got NO effect, no production at all. And it really really sucked. I'm sure the performer also gets significant mental help by having all those effects going on around them.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:09 PM
Liar!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:09 PM
Chad: Absolutely. They are really pushing certain people at the expense of the rest.
Taylor was so so tonight. Still, he won't be anywhere near the bottom.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 09:09 PM
I mean she's a liar--who fucking loves Mandy??
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:10 PM
Not so sure you'd want Mandisa standing on your chair. Backyard or not.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:10 PM
Do the singers get to pick some aspect of their performances, like the musicians and whatnot? I remember that great touch Bo did last year when he sang Jim Croce's "If", and he walked over to the onstage guitar player and patted the guy on the shoulder as if to say, "Thanks, man, see ya 'round."
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 09:10 PM
I hate 50's music. I hate this song.
At least she isn't as sucky as the original.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:11 PM
I speak with AI producers regularly and I will ask them this question. It's always been at the forefront of my AI watching. I'm a concert reviewer and I know the value of production to what could be a shitty show.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:12 PM
This is really good, but it's too slavishly close to the original (I notice Barry Manilow said the same thing and apparently it didn't stick).
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:13 PM
Was there a signifcant drop in mic volume in the middle of that song or are my speakers just wonky?
Posted by: Denise at March 21, 2006 09:13 PM
Glad to see Lisa brought back her curls!
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:13 PM
Cool, Chad--tell them NO MORE Stevie Wonder, no more Manilow, no more 50's, no more easy listening crap. :-D
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:13 PM
Lisa did absolutely nothing for me tonight. This was the definition of "meh" for me. Oh well.
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 09:14 PM
that was so so. Not her best. She's back in the bottom 3. Sorry.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 09:14 PM
Oh, i've told them that plenty of times. It's VERY political as to what the sing. There is HUGE money involved with everything. Even the diet pepsi paula drinks is served in a Coca-cola glass.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:14 PM
Duh, Simon, it's because 50's music SUCKS.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:14 PM
KEVIN UP NEXT> ALL CAPS> SORRY. Blood boiling... temperature rising.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:15 PM
Yeah, that figures, Chad. I don't really expect them to start bringing out Marilyn Manson or whatever on this show. ;-)
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:16 PM
Hoo boy, start your engines: Kevin's next. Thinking about him makes me look the way Dilbert looks when he's pissed -- the same, really, but with my eyebrows slanted downward.
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 09:16 PM
I'm thinking I might want to move my pet rabbit into the other room so I won't be charged by Peta for animal cruelty while Kevin sings.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:16 PM
I would get drunk for this one but I'm out of stuff for shots (quick drunk) and too tired. God help me.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:17 PM
I would pay $2 to see Kellie Pickler AND Katharine McPhee duet on "Beautiful People"
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:17 PM
HA!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:17 PM
Kevin up...time for a potty break...
Posted by: Denise at March 21, 2006 09:17 PM
Mouth wash is potent in a pinch.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:17 PM
Mmmmminty!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:18 PM
Where's the damn glue in this house?
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:19 PM
Don't forget to floss. It gives you the false sense that you actually used the mouth wash for its rightful purpose.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:19 PM
He should be sweet, he's 8 years old!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:19 PM
That was the creepiest thing I've ever heard barry manilow say.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:20 PM
Why can't I reach through the TV and smack the hell out of him?
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 09:20 PM
Did someone use a shrink ray on Chicken Little? He looks like he's 10.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:20 PM
NO wait, the vulnerable line was creepier.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:20 PM
Michele, if caps come out it's because the evil hate demon has been unleashed.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:20 PM
Ha! Yeah, Kevin, sing it so soft we can't hear it! Brillant, Barry!
Posted by: Denise at March 21, 2006 09:20 PM
Oh God. This poor bastard. Wait until he does fall in love, and his feelings aren't reciprocated, and he ends up discovering the wonders of the three-day bender as he drowns his sorrows in a bottle of cheap-ass peppermint schnapps. And the funny thing is, this will all happen in the next six months or so.
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 09:20 PM
Hey, Michele left to go to sleep, no fair!
fuck you fuck you fuck you CHICKEN KEV!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:21 PM
He's playing with himself in his pocket.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:22 PM
SOMEONE please tell me you beat the shit out of someone like this when you were 16!!!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:22 PM
He will make money in Vegas for about 6 weeks, then disappear forever.
Posted by: Dorf at March 21, 2006 09:22 PM
I pray you're right Jaq. I despise this little bastard.
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 09:22 PM
TEMPERATURE RISING EVEN FURTHER
The lack of production around the performance makes it eeerrreeee
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:23 PM
He's done worse. That isn't to say he isn't teh suck, but this sucked less than normal.
Dammit. He'll be back next week.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 09:23 PM
HISSSSSS
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:23 PM
He could whore himself out for 6 months in Vegas, I totally agree. Beth, I must admit I took care of a few Kevins in my life.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:23 PM
This rocks. It absolutely blows everyone away, including Chris. Top of the night.
Psyche..
Glad that's over. Yick.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 09:23 PM
Randy: "I see me in you"? In a year full of WTF?! moments, that will head the list. That performance was pure shit.
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 09:24 PM
Randy you are a fucking idiot. Paula you are the biggest asscrumb ever.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:24 PM
Paula needs to go to rehab. I swear, I want to know what the raging bitch inside her really thinks.
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 09:24 PM
Thank you Chad, I feel better knowing that.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:24 PM
Oh mannnnnnn, even Simon cut him some slack. He's SO back next week.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 09:25 PM
I think Simon broke into Paula's stash tonight.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:25 PM
They all look a bit touchy-feely. Could be Ecstasy.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:26 PM
OTOH, Simon said "you know who your audience is, and they'll like it."
Meanwhile, there are people cheering in a mental institution.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:27 PM
Amazingly, I have hate left over for Kellie. Note to Kevin, beware when you get back to high school. They will destroy him.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:28 PM
The VFTW psychos noted Randy's "I see myself in you" blurt.
http://p097.ezboard.com/fvotefortheworstfrm2.showMessage?topicID=691.topic
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:29 PM
Precisely Beth. Simon is right. The kids who get their lunch money taken from them every day are living through Kevin. They would love anything he does as long as he stays. Tomorrow when the bully (or their sister) is beating on them they will think of Kevin and sing that song...
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 09:29 PM
Chicken Little, my ass. Kevin is this character.
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 09:30 PM
Elliot being honest. He's toast.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 09:31 PM
very true jaq
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:31 PM
Jaquandor...YES!
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 09:31 PM
Jaq! Tweety Bird!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:32 PM
Chicken Little needs to go
Posted by: Alberto Simon at March 21, 2006 09:32 PM
Did Elliot and Taylor decide to just geek out this week?
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 09:33 PM
Alberto-- Chicken little needs to go in more ways than one
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:33 PM
Absolutely, Jaq!
Posted by: Denise at March 21, 2006 09:33 PM
Hi, I'm Helliott, and I just got home from happy hour and I'm shit faced. Look, my shirt's undone and my tie is loose!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:33 PM
Did someone just kick a field goal? What the hell was up with Paula's arms there?
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:34 PM
Elliot, Elliot, Elliot, lose the tie and sing better. Dang this is weak.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 09:34 PM
I like Elliot, but he's just doesn't blow me away like Chris or Taylor or Paris.
Posted by: Denise at March 21, 2006 09:34 PM
A "meh" on Elliott as well, I'm afraid. Decent singing, but it didn't light me on fire at all. And tuck the damn shirt in. I hate that, if you're wearing a tie. (Of course, this is coming from a guy who lives in overalls, so again, what do I know?)
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 09:35 PM
And yet ANOTHER Paula pantie change.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 09:35 PM
No, I'm stupid...he's at a Karaoke bar for Happy Hour.
He's not even close to as awful as Tweety, and I'm going to die right here when MichACE Jackson shits all over the stage.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:35 PM
I like Elliot. I would give my soul for a video of Chicken Little getting the shit beat out of him by the jocks at his school.
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 09:35 PM
...and yet he still looks sharper than Seacrst.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 09:35 PM
Ok, I like Paula, but damn, my cat has buried things in it's litter box with more mental capacity than that.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 09:36 PM
Flick Pickler!
Posted by: Denise at March 21, 2006 09:36 PM
Oh dear God Almighty. Pickler is doing Patsy Cline?
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:36 PM
I don't normally like Elliott, but that was a quantum leap beyond his normal performance. I think Manilow did him some good.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:36 PM
The panties she wears when Ace sings are the ones she wears home. ;P
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:36 PM
elliott is pretty good but i don't think he's won over America.. yay kellie is up next. i'm sorry but i like her.. especially her personality.
Posted by: Allison R. at March 21, 2006 09:36 PM
Oh for the love of Mohammed on a Moped...Kellie's going to do Patsy Kline?!
I shouldn't listen to this. I should turn it off now. You know I won't, but I know I should.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 09:37 PM
Pick Pickler everyone! Woohoo. She's purdy!
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 09:37 PM
I would give my soul for a video of Chicken Little getting the shit beat out of him by the jocks at his school.
DITTO.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:37 PM
That is *so* Elliot's niche. I was afraid he wouldn't do anything like Moody's Mood For Love again.
Since I'm probably the only one who'll request it, could we have that one, please, Ian?
Posted by: Tanya at March 21, 2006 09:37 PM
I just can't get past Ace's horrible falsetto.
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 09:37 PM
Tanya: absolutely.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:38 PM
You mean his false falsetto? I'm with you.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:38 PM
Thanks!
Posted by: Tanya at March 21, 2006 09:39 PM
I hear ya, C. Rose--I despise Ace more than any of them.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:39 PM
Ace is like a cross between Constantine and Brian Peppers, for those up on Internet fads.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:40 PM
(OK, this is weird: this Canadian station has commercials for H&RBlock. I guess it's closing in on tax time in Canada, too?)
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 09:40 PM
Local FOX station has a teaser saying one of the girls on this season of Idol is dating Constantine.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:40 PM
Minx. Or as she interpreted it, "Ah'm a mink!"
Posted by: Tanya at March 21, 2006 09:40 PM
That's a rumor about Kellie. Kellie said otherwise.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 09:41 PM
Pickler: "I had no idea Patsy Cline was from the 50s!"
Barry Manilow: "I don't know anything about Patsy Cline!"
Shoot me now.
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 09:41 PM
Of course, it wouldn't be the first lie she's told...
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 09:42 PM
She hasn't started yet, and I already hate it!
Posted by: Denise at March 21, 2006 09:42 PM
Wow..can Kelly have more make-up on?
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 09:43 PM
Shoot me too.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:44 PM
Again, she's sucked worse.
I know this should be obvious, but she's much better when she doesn't think and just growl/belts it out.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 09:44 PM
This was not bad, but not "wow" either.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:44 PM
Patsy Cline is crying.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:44 PM
Ok, I'll give credit where due. That was pretty good. Not bad at all.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 09:44 PM
She just annoys the shit out of me too much to even hear her.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:45 PM
Her face comes off on the pillow. That makeup makes Tammy Faye look demure.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:45 PM
I have to mute the TV when she talks. She can't be that dumb!
Posted by: Denise at March 21, 2006 09:46 PM
Chris: LOL!
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:46 PM
I despise her. Everything about her. It's all an act.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:46 PM
If one thing can be said, this girl can act.
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 09:46 PM
She said Pick Pickler again.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:46 PM
Why is Ace giving the Sammy Sosa?
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 09:46 PM
Because it's his turn? Because they know most people won't stay tuned for the whole 2 hours?
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:47 PM
Ace up, next...I guess I can be glad Michael Jackson wasn't around in the 50s.
Posted by: Denise at March 21, 2006 09:47 PM
If he does his falsetto, I will fucking scream.
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 09:49 PM
Pickler sang that well. And she will be perfect on the red carpet and entertainment shows. Remember that is what this competition (farce) is all about.
Posted by: Dorf at March 21, 2006 09:49 PM
I found that eating popcorn while Kellie sang made it more tolerable. The crunching blocked out most of her tonality.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:49 PM
Do the Whitesnake version! :)
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:50 PM
That's just sick that he's her favorite. Who is the asshole who let her near that fucktard?
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:50 PM
I would trust Ryan with my neice. Now my nephew is a different story.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:51 PM
Dammit, Chad! I begged my daughter to make me popcorn and she wouldn't do it for me!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:51 PM
Fucking hell. Where's an AK-47?
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 09:52 PM
Ace is definitely easy on the eyes. I hate the boy band sound thought.
Posted by: Denise at March 21, 2006 09:52 PM
The life of a bachelor means I need to make my own. No one around here to boss around other than my rabbit. And he's not that good at programming my microwave.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:52 PM
Good point re: the nephew.
And this is his most sickening shit ever.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:52 PM
I'm a bit surprised - this is easily Ace's best performance, by miles.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:53 PM
Fuck the AK, I want an M2. Or an M60.
AAAAAIIIIIII!!!1 SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!11!!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:53 PM
Is it just me, or is Ace about five years too late for the "boy band" revolution? This guy screams out "Dude #2 from O'Town". If this performance is a sandwich, it's store-brand ham on Wonder bread with no mayo.
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 09:53 PM
I despise his voice. It's so whiney. Oh %$#@%$^#$%#. He did the god damned falsetto.
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 09:53 PM
sorry in advance about the caps
CAN THE FALSETTO
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:53 PM
Sucking. Sucking sucktitude. Massive suckiness.
I have much more hate for this pretty boy than I do for the Chicken Boy.
WTF is this? This isn't singing, it's emoting.
Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck.
Kirbys are crying in the closet.
Posted by: Timmer at March 21, 2006 09:54 PM
Die, Ace, you brain-dead scumbag.
And you too, Paula, you retard.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:54 PM
I told you, Paula likes wearing the Ace panties the rest of the day. It's their special connection.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:54 PM
Paula: That was "sultry"? Holy shit! That means I've got a chance with Paula! Sweet!
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 09:55 PM
Not his worst, but I just get that guy ill feeling from him, like he hangs out at the neverland ranch picking up on Michael Jacksons sloppy seconds. Yick.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 09:55 PM
ACE you fucking piece of shit don't even face the camera. Turn around so I don't have to see you.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:55 PM
You got a pulse? You got a package? You got a number where she can reach you? Then you've got a chance with Paul.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:55 PM
Jaq: everyone has a chance with Paula.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:56 PM
Ian, I would like to request Mandisa and Paris for tonight!
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 09:56 PM
Suddenly Bucky's performance seems stellar after hearing ACE.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:56 PM
Bottom 3 this week anyone?
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:57 PM
Role call: Mandisa, Chris, and Elliott?
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:57 PM
Here's the real question, which among us is actually going to vote at all tonight?
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:57 PM
Taylor please Ian
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:57 PM
Who I want? Kevin, Ace and Kelly. Reality? Katherine, Lisa, and Elliot.
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 09:58 PM
Ok, Paris & Taylor also.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 09:58 PM
My 3 hated ones:
ACE, Chicken, and either Pickler or Katherine.
I have no clue who's gone this week.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 09:58 PM
Ian, a Chris mp3 for me please. Thanks!
Posted by: Denise at March 21, 2006 09:59 PM
Ok, my prediction - Lisa, Bucky, Elliot bottom 3. Lisa goes.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 09:59 PM
Top 3
1. Chris
2. Taylor
3. Kellie
Bottom 3
1. Kevin
2. Pothead
3. Lisa
Going home:
Pothead. Maybe Lisa.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 09:59 PM
Alright. 5 of 'em will take a little longer than usual, but I'll start cooking now =)
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 10:00 PM
Chad, I have yet to vote. I tried last week, but the line was of course busy so I said fuckit.
CRose, I think you're probably right, and it is a crime.
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 10:00 PM
Shit, I guess I don't have to bring "teh sultry" to have a shot with Paula. Good to know!
My bottom three: Egghead Jr., Elliott, and Ace. I suspect that Ace will go. AI's "shocker" results don't usually start happening until we're down to eight or nine contestants.
Posted by: Jaquandor at March 21, 2006 10:00 PM
Oh yay, sleeeeep!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 10:01 PM
Chad: I voted last week for Melissa, trying to keep her from going. Maybe I'll vote Kevin and see if I am a poison pill...
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 10:02 PM
I just put in my one vote for taylor (through cingular) Now i can complain all I want.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 10:02 PM
Ian, are you putting them in the same place?
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 10:02 PM
Goodnight everyone. Enjoyed it.
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 10:02 PM
You're playing with fire Chris by trying to jinx Kevin. But I trust you to use your best judgement. If you think it will help get him off the show then vote for the kid.
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 10:03 PM
Yay Chad!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 10:03 PM
G'night everyone!
Posted by: Beth at March 21, 2006 10:05 PM
Oh and Lisa too ian, if it isn't too much trouble. Well, see you guys tommorow for another miscarriege of justice.
Posted by: C. Rose at March 21, 2006 10:05 PM
good night all :D
Posted by: Chad at March 21, 2006 10:06 PM
bottom three.. i say ace, lisa or bucky
top three.. i say chris, kellie and then paris
Posted by: Allison R. at March 21, 2006 10:12 PM
Alright. Same time, same place:
http://www.godmonkey.com/AI2006/
All the "oldies" are still there to enjoy too.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 21, 2006 10:48 PM
Thanks Ian. You're the best!
Posted by: Chris at March 21, 2006 11:21 PM
Simon eventually figured out the reverse psychology issue with Scott Savol last year. When he rips someone to shreds, the voters get rabid, but if he's nice, they don't bother to vote at all.
I'm *so* hoping that's what he did with Chicken Little last night (tho he wasn't as bad as usual).
Posted by: Tanya at March 22, 2006 10:17 AM