February 01, 2006
Day 6: February 1 (Austin)
By Michele
Yay. Another night of torture. Another night of weight jokes, bad gimmicks, terrible singers, fashion disasters, mockery and clowns.
Help us Austin, you're our only hope!
Oh yippee. Gymnastics. Ok, the guy's flexible. Now stand up and sing.
Oh just fucking shoot me if I have to sit through an hour of this.
I thought there were supposed to be talented people in Austin!
Holy shit this chick is a MESS.
I am now going to stab my eardrums with a fork.
I think her braces have braces.
I'm drinking for this one. Can't sit through another 45 minutes sober.
"I consider myself to be a good embalmer." There's a pickup line if I ever heard one.
That wasn't terrible.
Holy shit. WHY do these people think they can sing?
I'm really really really really really really really bored with the crapfest of wannabes they keep showing. Show me something good, damn it!
Ok, if Captain Morgan can't make this show better, all hope is lost.
Ummm nope. Not making it better. Maybe I should move on to vodka.
Oh great. Another half retarded guy.
Ok ricky, save us.
Oh yessss Ricky has a smooooooooth voice. Wow, I'm swooning.
aaaaand cue the shallow bitch.
Prediction: she's going to make it to Hollywood and she will be the source of much drama.
Oh wow, forget it. She wasn't as great as she made herself out to be.
What? They are going to let her through because they like her, but not her voice? That was a total "she has the looks" pick. My prediction still stands.
This guy annoys the piss out of me. I've known guys like him. They have small dicks.
I hope he SUCKS.
Meh.
Paula wants to bone him.
prediction 2: smug guy and fit chick cause a scandal.
WTF? Kill me.
This season has made me miss Scooter Girl.
And she's back.
And she still sucks.
DID you see that look on Paula's face?? He's 16 GIRL!
Paula only said no to him because she's afraid she won't be able to stop herself from knocking on his hotel room door to give him "singing lessons."
What's wrong with this chick's mouth?
No, check that. What's wrong with her?
I ask, for the tenth time, DO THESE PEOPLE NOT HAVE FRIENDS AND FAMILIES TO KEEP THEM FROM SHAMING THEMSELVES ON NATIONAL TV?? WHO TELLS THESE PEOPLE THEY ARE GOOD? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP LYING TO YOUR LOVED ONES, AMERICA!
What Simon was just trying to say was "stick 50lbs of shit in a 20lb bag"
12 PEOPLE MADE IT AND WE WERE MADE TO SIT THROUGH THIS FESTIVAL OF SHIT??
*sobs*
Ohmygod. We have another night of this to go? I think I have to clip my toenails next Tuesday at 8. Don't know if I'll be here.
I swear I've seen Randy's shirt pattern on arm chairs.
Posted by: C.Rose at February 1, 2006 08:02 PM
Randy really have gained back a lot of the weight. Baaaad shirt choice.
Posted by: Faith at February 1, 2006 08:04 PM
Ha! They had auditions in Austin during one of the hottest summers on record.
Posted by: sinalco at February 1, 2006 08:05 PM
It just keeps getting worse.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:06 PM
Didnt someone say the good thing about last night was that tonight would be better? Yeah...
Posted by: C.Rose at February 1, 2006 08:07 PM
Uh-oh. Simon's going to have the Anti-Defamation of People With Braces League oin his ass tomorrow.
Posted by: Faith at February 1, 2006 08:08 PM
What *is* it with these people who don't realize they suck?
Posted by: Ian S. at February 1, 2006 08:09 PM
Yeah, that's what I said. I was wrong. I didn't want to be wrong.
Great...someone sings as Chewbacca.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:09 PM
Someone's got to teach the funeral director to dress.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:16 PM
"I'm a good embalmer" Too creepy for prime time!
Posted by: sinalco at February 1, 2006 08:16 PM
Dunno about his embalming, but great voice.
Posted by: Ian S. at February 1, 2006 08:17 PM
Not bad, but he's not idol.
I think they've heard so many sucky singers, average sounds good.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:17 PM
She's pretty, hope she can sing.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:18 PM
Woops.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:18 PM
You know the contestants suck when Paula's rejected multiple people.
Posted by: Ian S. at February 1, 2006 08:20 PM
How many more weeks of this shit do we have?
Posted by: Faith at February 1, 2006 08:20 PM
I can't wait for Hollywood.
Posted by: Ian S. at February 1, 2006 08:21 PM
Yeah, how many more week of torture?
Posted by: sinalco at February 1, 2006 08:22 PM
The Geico gecko should audition. It'd be an improvement.
Posted by: sinalco at February 1, 2006 08:23 PM
Almost half over..I hope jason isnt the only decent singer tonight.
Posted by: C.Rose at February 1, 2006 08:24 PM
Me steadfastly refuses to ask Michele if she's got a little Captain in her.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:24 PM
Ok, Allison's a great singer. Now let's quit the sob story and get on with it.
Posted by: sinalco at February 1, 2006 08:25 PM
This is horrible..absolutely horrible.
Posted by: C.Rose at February 1, 2006 08:26 PM
Ok, never mind, she sucks.
Wow, they gave her a second chance! cool.
Posted by: sinalco at February 1, 2006 08:27 PM
Go on, squeeze your nipple on national television, that will help.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:28 PM
I like this guy.
Posted by: Ian S. at February 1, 2006 08:29 PM
"Refreshing" hit the nail on the head. I like him too.
Posted by: C.Rose at February 1, 2006 08:30 PM
Rickie doesn't suck.
Yay Rickie.
He'll never make it past night one in Hollywood, but not bad.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:30 PM
Awright, Ricky! The voice that refreshes!
Posted by: sinalco at February 1, 2006 08:31 PM
Okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, Randy and Simon are judging with their heads that don't have ears.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:33 PM
Ashley: singing with her mouth closed. That was funny.
Posted by: sinalco at February 1, 2006 08:33 PM
Dude, be someone else, trust me.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:38 PM
And behold Paula's next scandel.
Posted by: C.Rose at February 1, 2006 08:38 PM
I hate nasal singers. Hate, hate, hate nasal singers.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:39 PM
I can't believe this guy can sing. That shouldn't be possible.
Posted by: Ian S. at February 1, 2006 08:39 PM
Tessymay? Rhonetta #2
Posted by: C.Rose at February 1, 2006 08:43 PM
Well, at least Michele's getting more entertaining as this goes. Note to self: stop at the liquor store before next week.
Posted by: Ian S. at February 1, 2006 08:43 PM
My son is too old, so I have no good reason to go see Curious George. But I'm still going because it was one of my favorite books as a child.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:44 PM
An American Idol Drinking Game:
http://www.ringthis.com/tv_drinking_games/american_idol.php
Posted by: sinalco at February 1, 2006 08:47 PM
Nope, she can't sing.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:48 PM
How 'bout we just outlaw the 1st audition shows from TV? I mean just throw those babies in the septic tank and start with Hollywood.
Posted by: T-Steel at February 1, 2006 08:48 PM
I smell a Federov.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:48 PM
I'd be OK with this if they showed more of the good ones and less of the sucky ones. Then we wouldn't be all "who the !@# is that" when Hollywood starts.
Posted by: Ian S. at February 1, 2006 08:50 PM
Did Paula just put down someone? I agree with Ian. I hate not knowing who half the people are in hollywood.
Posted by: C.Rose at February 1, 2006 08:51 PM
Michele: yes. That was totally a "come back when you're legal" no.
Posted by: Ian S. at February 1, 2006 08:52 PM
Okay, Idol owes me two hours of my life for the past two nights.
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:54 PM
OMG! Tessie from my hometown! I hang my head in shame.
Posted by: sinalco at February 1, 2006 08:54 PM
Who was the girl singing behind the doors? Show her please!
Posted by: C.Rose at February 1, 2006 08:57 PM
12 People! They had 12 good people and they showed us 3!!!
Posted by: Timmer at February 1, 2006 08:58 PM
Hollywood next week...finally!
Posted by: sinalco at February 1, 2006 08:59 PM
How long would it have been to show us those twelve. Ten freaking minutes.
Posted by: C.Rose at February 1, 2006 09:00 PM