January 31, 2006
Day 5 - January 31: Vegas, Baby, Vegas
By Michele
Welcome to Las Vegas. Tonight is, thankfully, only one hour long.
And we start the night off with a bad pun from a Rastfarian. Who is probably not a Rastafarian or Jamaican.
Sounds like a bad Sublime impersonation. Guy's a tool. Out of all the gimmicks we've seen, this one was the lamest.
Oh, tears. Should have thought of that before you put on the wig, mon.
And the psychic's sister is here. I predict.............NO. She's a mess. The hair is terrible, the outfit is sloppy and the voice is a wreck.
And now a belly dancer. Doesn't anyone just....sing? She looks like she stole the hat from a big headed train conducter.
And another female makes it through. She has a sweet voice. Nice, nothing wow.
Ok, this dude is high.
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!! This is awesome. If you're gonna make an ass of yourself, go all the way. That was my favorite fake audition EVER. Totally took me by surprise.
Jail chick: Wow. I am digging this.
Good on Simon. You need some variety. Not every girl can be a "belt it out" R&B chick.
Have I mentioned that I've really begun to hate these audition shows?
He was decent, but....bland. No oomph.
Oh jesus it's the crazy guy. And he's got a mullet. Aaaaand hello, goodbye!
Ohmygod. This guy is going to be found dead under a pile of animal carcasses and feces in ten years.
is that Brylcream or grease in his hair? And off he goes, back home to his 75 animals, his girlfriend and his hidden collection of Hummells.
Oh yay. More twins. They seem more likely to be on a Disney show. Either that, or look for them in an FHM layout soon.
Ok, this dork reminds me of Matthew Lillard in Can't Hardly Wait. Slightly aloof, slightly retarded.
After seeing this stretch of auditions, I suddenly have more understanding about why Simon, Paula and Randy are so short tempered.
is he wearing a crown of thorns? Or is that a ring of grease?
Ohjumpingjesus. I hate this song, I hate his voice, I hate this show.
I autmotically hate people who compare themselves to Aretha. I hate anyone named Princess, too.
Holy hell, there go the wine glasses.
Did she say she's a perfectionist? NOT.
Was that dude riding an invisible motorcyle?
The funniest part of that was the chick who cursed was singing the Cake version of the song.
This guy reminds me of someone. You know, that guy. Alan someone. Arkin?
He looks like someone is punching him in the nuts as he sings.
But he's pretty good. Not spectacular, but good. And he'll never be the "American Idol" with that face.
And that's another wrap. See y'all tomorrow.
Vegas baby! Can't sing. Can't act. What was he thinking?
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:03 PM
There's no crying in Jamaica!
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:04 PM
Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:05 PM
Sigh. Crapfest.
Posted by: owen at January 31, 2006 08:05 PM
"Can't you just watch it next year?" Love it!
Posted by: Faith at January 31, 2006 08:08 PM
That's what I'm talkin' about, Belly Dancerrrrrr.
But can she sing?
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:08 PM
Oh crap, her high school drama coach choreographed her.
But I like her voice.
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:09 PM
That's not singing, and I've heard it before.
Posted by: owen at January 31, 2006 08:14 PM
That dude is going to lead a revival of the Ellen Feiss craze. I can see it now.
Posted by: Ian S. at January 31, 2006 08:16 PM
I didn't expect that singing voice out of that speaking voice.
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:17 PM
Wait, *Paula* was the only one of the 3 that turned someone down?
Posted by: Ian S. at January 31, 2006 08:18 PM
That got me too Ian. Strange cause that's the kind of cutesy crap she usually eats up with a spoon.
Posted by: Faith at January 31, 2006 08:20 PM
No Pepe? S, P & R are just plain stupid!
Posted by: sinalco at January 31, 2006 08:24 PM
ok the bus joke was loooooow. ;)
Posted by: Faith at January 31, 2006 08:25 PM
Dude, shave your head, quit lying to yourself.
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:25 PM
J.C.'s drives a pretty nice car, though.
Posted by: sinalco at January 31, 2006 08:26 PM
Too sharp, especially for a round guy. Next.
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:27 PM
Bid dude's trying out for the wrong reality show.
Posted by: owen at January 31, 2006 08:27 PM
Sorry, I meant Big
Posted by: owen at January 31, 2006 08:27 PM
'chele, I think it's Crisco.
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:27 PM
Collection of Hummels? He IS a Hummel.
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:29 PM
What the heck's a Hummell?
Posted by: Amanda at January 31, 2006 08:31 PM
Hummell: Little figurines of very fat little German kids.
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:32 PM
Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Posted by: Ian S. at January 31, 2006 08:35 PM
Weren't they the girls who sang to Mothra on Moster Island.
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:35 PM
I bet the judges wish they had a mute button.
Posted by: sinalco at January 31, 2006 08:36 PM
HAHAH @timmer.
Posted by: Michele Catalano at January 31, 2006 08:36 PM
SNL: You've lost one of the Wild and Crazy Guys.
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:43 PM
Where is this guy originally from? Arkham Asylum?
Posted by: Ian S. at January 31, 2006 08:44 PM
Foreign guy: cute, nice try, but, um, no.
Posted by: sinalco at January 31, 2006 08:44 PM
Princess is cute, but gaaaaaaaah.
Posted by: Ian S. at January 31, 2006 08:46 PM
Sigh...anyone have a knitting needle so I can clean this out of my ears?
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:46 PM
"Princess" - someone shoot her parents for naming her that...sheesh people...
Posted by: sinalco at January 31, 2006 08:47 PM
Weird. Nice tone but TERRIBLE pitch.
Posted by: owen at January 31, 2006 08:47 PM
You know, I lived in Vegas and I know there are good singers there.
Are they ALL under contract to the cacinos?
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:49 PM
These mash-ups of different people singing the same song are kinda funny. Sorta.
No I hate it. I'm tired of all the bad singing.
Posted by: sinalco at January 31, 2006 08:50 PM
Okay, the only good thing I can say about tonight is that tomorrow HAS to be a better show.
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:50 PM
Taylor Hicks: you better be good Nice speaking voice. Ok, he's in.
Posted by: sinalco at January 31, 2006 08:55 PM
If he could get out of his nose...
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:55 PM
Okay...I like him. Took two songs.
Posted by: Timmer at January 31, 2006 08:56 PM
I liked Mecca and the Redneck Woman chick, and Taylor. None of them blew me away but Taylor's second song made me smile.
When Princess started singing, my dog (who was napping, and who usually ignores television completely) jerked his head up, looked at me, turned his face 180 degrees from the tv, and closed his eyes. If you can make a dog cringe, you don't need to be singing.
Posted by: Tanya at February 1, 2006 05:13 PM
Would anyone happen to have a copy of the Las Vegas auditions ?
I have a 13 y/o daughter who missed it and would appreciate if she could see it.
liverance@hotmail.com
Posted by: liverance at February 5, 2006 12:47 PM
Go taylor
GOOD LUCK I'LL BE VOTING FOR U
Posted by: Patricia at February 8, 2006 06:17 PM