January 25, 2006
Auditions 4 - January 25
By Michele
Ready for another round of bitches, hos and insults interspersed with a few good singers?
It's Snow White! I think she's about to sing to the woodland creatures.
So she can sing opera, but not pop. And what I mean is what Simon said. Her pop voice is meh.
Shawn just broke my front window. The cat is going nuts. I swear. She just arched her back and started hissing at the tv.
Sway: Ok, it's getting harder and harder to judge these people. They are all starting to sound the same to me. I'm waiting for someone to knock me off my feet (like Paris last night). Everyone just seems.....underwhelming.
Matthew: Sounds like he not only has a sinus infection, but needs an inhaler.
Discharge guy: If I close my eyes, I think I'm watching a cartoon. That was the equivalent of puking on the stage. He just vomited up every single act he had in him.
YES?? What the HELL is going on here? Ok, that is my BIGGEST WTF moment of this show.
Katherine: Finally. A voice that grabs me. Her voice is smokin' hot. Sexy.
"And Simon throws a fit!" Uhh..doesn't he throw a fit every season?
Shalisha: I think she is masturbating with her voice.
That was.........interesting. And Simon did something NICE.
Pippi Longstocking: The father was creepy. "She's teaching me some things..."
Marcus: My poor cat is taking an aural beating tonight.
This show has hit new lows in suckage. I don't know how I'm going to make another hour of this.
Jane: Sweet voice. Cute face. Glad she got through, but I don't expect her to go too far.
Randy's feeling a bit belligerent tonight.
Bride of Frankestein! She looks like she's 40, at the very least. And I don't like her tone or style.
Ok, let's get the drama llama portion of the show over with. I'm going to go load the dishwasher while they pretend like this isn't scripted.
Manuel: It's the lesser known Gotti brother.
Ohjesusonapogostick someone just shove a shoe down his throat.
OHTHANKBLOODYCHRIST IT'S ONLY AN HOUR!!!!!!
See ya next week!
I'm here with you for tonite.
Posted by: Faith at January 25, 2006 08:01 PM
I liked her opera song better
Posted by: owen at January 25, 2006 08:03 PM
Ow ow ow ow ow
Posted by: owen at January 25, 2006 08:06 PM
Make it stop!
Posted by: Ian S. at January 25, 2006 08:06 PM
Oh, dear heavens, that was awful.
Posted by: Slublog at January 25, 2006 08:06 PM
My cats just left the room, quickly.
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:10 PM
Sway has pipes. But is he unique or interesting?
Posted by: owen at January 25, 2006 08:13 PM
Okayyyyyyyyy, I see a trainwreck comin'.
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:14 PM
Good call Timmer.
Posted by: owen at January 25, 2006 08:14 PM
Wolfie, the next William Hung
Posted by: Faith at January 25, 2006 08:15 PM
I have a feeling we'll be seeing Wolfie at the final.
Posted by: Slublog at January 25, 2006 08:17 PM
Is it me, or is this week making last week look good?
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:18 PM
They skipped over all the decent auditions, so they would have more time to show us the dreck. Guh.
Posted by: owen at January 25, 2006 08:19 PM
It's the guy from Police Academy's son!
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:22 PM
I was kinda getting into the singing until he creeped me out.
Posted by: owen at January 25, 2006 08:22 PM
What the HELL?
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:24 PM
Okay, good, not just me, thought I was losing it.
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:24 PM
The last guy was weird.
Why does everyone feel the need to oversing?
Posted by: Slublog at January 25, 2006 08:26 PM
Um, shiny indeed. She can cut out the arpeggios though for all of me.
Not just good, but intense.
Posted by: owen at January 25, 2006 08:27 PM
Love the voice, but she has the stage presence of a head of lettuce.
Posted by: Ian S. at January 25, 2006 08:30 PM
Next!
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:32 PM
Uh, oh. She just broke an American Idol rule - anyone who says "I'm the next American Idol" won't be.
Sweet mother of Buddha, bad voice and poetry?
Posted by: Slublog at January 25, 2006 08:33 PM
um...help?
And will someone tell her to GET HER HANDS AWAY FROM HER HAIR?!
Posted by: kat at January 25, 2006 08:34 PM
Simon has a moment of compassion, he is having a bad day.
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:35 PM
I think Simon got a hold of some of Paula's pills from last season.
Posted by: kat at January 25, 2006 08:38 PM
I liked her, and I worked on Grease one summer and that song makes me convulse.
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:39 PM
Michele - EWWWWW!
There's a number of people that are going to be have to make a LOT of progrees to get past the first round of Hollywood. Pippi had nice tone, but I don't think she has a clue what to do with her voice. Or maybe she thinks she does but she's wrong.
Posted by: owen at January 25, 2006 08:40 PM
Tim, I agree.
I hate that song with a vengeance.
A VENGEANCE, I say.
Ick.
Posted by: kat at January 25, 2006 08:41 PM
My wife made an interesting observation, she was mimicking, not really singing.
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:42 PM
Yeah, this guy's gonna suck...
Posted by: Slublog at January 25, 2006 08:43 PM
This guy's got a career as either a shock jock or an auctioneer when he fails.
Posted by: Ian S. at January 25, 2006 08:43 PM
Ok, this terrain is a bit too rough for you, dude.
Posted by: sinalco at January 25, 2006 08:44 PM
Do they think if they do enough weird crap the judges won't notice the lack of a voice?
Posted by: owen at January 25, 2006 08:44 PM
Sucktitude. Master of Suck. Suck-o-rama.
Sucks on command!
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:44 PM
Now appearing at the local Holiday Inn lounge.
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:45 PM
I like her.
Cute, colored hair, personality, and a voice.
Posted by: kat at January 25, 2006 08:46 PM
Jane would be a great popster, that song demonstrated her talent but not her strength.
I think.
Posted by: owen at January 25, 2006 08:47 PM
Eh. Nothing different about her voice at all.
Posted by: Slublog at January 25, 2006 08:47 PM
I'm missing her...didn't hear it.
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:47 PM
Jane reminded me of that girl from Hawaii who made it to the final 12 a couple of years ago,,,Jasmine or something...
Posted by: sinalco at January 25, 2006 08:48 PM
I'm really tired of R&B, to be honest.
Posted by: Slublog at January 25, 2006 08:48 PM
Sinalco, thanks, couldn't remember her name, you're right.
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:50 PM
Apparently it's Bizarro Simon tonight.
Posted by: owen at January 25, 2006 08:51 PM
I don't like big hair girl. She has skill, but talent?
Posted by: owen at January 25, 2006 08:53 PM
Loud does not equal talent.
Posted by: Ian S. at January 25, 2006 08:57 PM
I'm going to be happy whent they tell this guy "no".
Posted by: owen at January 25, 2006 08:57 PM
I believe those flashes of fur I saw were my cats flying from the room.
Posted by: kat at January 25, 2006 08:58 PM
Wow, someone was dressed like Terrence Trent Darby instead of Michael Jackson.
Posted by: Timmer at January 25, 2006 08:59 PM
Oh my god...it's a terydactal!
Next week looks really fun.
Posted by: kat at January 25, 2006 09:00 PM