April 28, 2005

there's got to be a morning after

By Michele

Ok, Constantine fans. Time to suck it up and move on with your lives.

Are there really people out there who claim to be stunned that votes can somehow be rigged or a reality tv show can be fixed? Yea, I vote every week, but I suffer no delusions that the results aren't somehow skewed to get the best possible final match up that will garner the most possible ratings.

Looking at the official AI boards, I'm taken aback about how many people invest their hearts and souls into various contestants. I don't know why it shocks me that some people are ready to either commit suicide or burn down the Fox building today, but it does. Even when I was in love with Leif Garrett - at the age of ten, I think - I never put so much of myself into idolizing him that my world would have fallen apart if his tv show went off the air.

Some of the people on these boards are grown, adult women. It's frightening. They are talking to him as if he actually goes to the boards and reads all the messages. Honestly, if he saw some of the stuff written there, he would fear for his life. Some of these people are not beyond sneaking into his house at night to cut off a lock of his hair.

I don't like Constantine and I'm glad he's gone (especially since he pulled the last straw on Tuesday - the only thing worse than Nickelback is Constantine doing Nickelback) but there are at least two contestants that, if the people voted on talent and the votes actually counted - should have been gone before Constantine. All this time I waited for this psuedo-rocker to get voted off, and now it's kind of anti-climatic because Jabba the Scott is still on board.

And why is Scott still there? This is why. That's just one of the pitfalls of having a reality show where the public votes. Things like this will happen. Is it fair? No. Is it legal? I'm sure there are no laws on the books regarding things like voting for ugly, mean, talentless hacks on reality shows.

I do think that this sounds a death knell for American Idol as we know it. Between LaToya and Jennifer (and to a lesser extent, Diana) getting voted off last year and Scott and Anthony staying in the running this year when they should have been gone long ago, a lot of fans are getting frustrated. Look for some new voting rules for next season, possibly a whole new format. Also, I predict Paula will be gone. This whole season has been like watching a train wreck with her. I don't know what she's on, but her behavior on the show has been so ridiculous that I cringe when she comes on screen. How can she not be embarrassed for herself? And after last night, with her crying those huge, snotty tears over Constantine, she has to be gone. She's a judge for chrissakes. Judges don't cry when contestants leave. Unless, of course, they have developed an unhealthy crush on them and/or having been sucking their dicks in the hotel room after the show.

Sorry. Anyhow, to recap: Face reality that the show can and probably is fixed; suck it up as far as the internet move to have Scotty the Body crowned American Idol because there's nothing you can do about it; get over Constantine because he doesn't really care about you or your poetry or your desire to run your fingers through his hair as you console him; and get ready to see a complete overhaul of the show for next season. If there is a next season. I suspect this was a jump the shark moment for AI.



Hear, fucking, hear.

Posted by: Gabe at April 28, 2005 09:54 AM

Look at the bright side. The audience will be booing Scott just for walking across the stage. See how that fat walrus starts whooping and clapping his hands over that one.

Posted by: jen at April 28, 2005 10:27 AM

Michele, you are very wise. Although it does not dominate my life, nor do I have an unhealthy obsession, I admit that I will be disappointed if Bo leaves before Scott and/or Anthony. However, I think that everyone except probably Scott and Anthony will be offered recording contracts/will be able to pursue a music career due to the exposure from the show. The networks find a way to milk the 15-minutes of fame for popular reality show contestants. Connie will go back to "Betty," and we will probably see him on a future episode of "The Surreal Life".

Posted by: Janet at April 28, 2005 10:32 AM

When all is said and done, I won't be losing sleep over any of this.

Posted by: jen at April 28, 2005 11:12 AM

I'm just wondering if Paula's on suicide watch now.

Posted by: Ian S. at April 28, 2005 01:26 PM

We can only hope they don't watch too closely Ian.

Posted by: Gabe at April 28, 2005 01:47 PM

My cynical ass deems this one huge publicity stunt...

- publicity for AI
- publicity for the booted boy
- publicity for Paula, in exchange for booting her as a judge, so she can have a change at picking up some other meaningless gig

But, as I said, I'm a bit cynical.

Posted by: Sekimori at April 28, 2005 01:49 PM

It may be wrong to dismiss Anthony's chances of a professional singing career. If David Hasselhoff can make it big in Germany, than so can our boy Tony, or at least he can slay 'em in Hungary or Tajikistan or wherever. How about the touring company of Oklahoma! as Curly (co-starring Carrie)? Journey tribute band? Scott Savol success? ...for those of you thinking it can't happen (including me), the 27th best selling album of all time is Bat Out of Hell by that other greasy lump of flesh, Meatloaf (14 million). Hootie and his Blowhards have the 14th all-time, Cracked Rear View (16 freaking million sold). Be afraid.

Posted by: Dave at April 28, 2005 01:49 PM

Is Anthony that bad to listen to? To me he's got a pleasant voice. He'll be the type of guy that old ladies love. Scott on the other hand has no talent. But hey, if Britney, Hilary, Ashley and Jessica can make it big, why can't scott?

Posted by: jen at April 28, 2005 01:54 PM

Oh wait a second. The untalented girls are at least pleasant to look at. I gotta come up with something better as to why Scott may make it big.. Oh here it is, if Fat Joe and his Terror Squad can pull guns out on people who booed them at their concert, so can Scott.

Posted by: jen at April 28, 2005 01:56 PM

Dave: True, true. And no, Anthony isn't bad to listen to; it's just that Clay Aiken corners that market, and he does it better. And look at how many rappers win Billboard Music Awards, etc. I just don't see Scott "going the distance" after AI...just a "gut" feeling (no pun intended).

Posted by: Janet at April 28, 2005 02:02 PM

If there was a big market for that kind of singing, the red headed kid from last year would be a star by now.

Posted by: michele at April 28, 2005 02:07 PM

Hey Michele, I hope you didn't just eat a big plate of spaghetti, see http://www.maverick.com/johnstevens/
If you're wondering, Maverick is the label Madonna started.

Posted by: Dave at April 28, 2005 02:18 PM

Having a record contract with a "big name" company does not a star make.

Posted by: michele at April 28, 2005 02:21 PM

Don't be dissing my little redhead crooner, woman.

Posted by: Tanya at April 28, 2005 02:27 PM

True dat...but http://www.maverickrc.com/news/407/

Posted by: Dave at April 28, 2005 02:31 PM

Hah, I wasn't really dissing him, just making a point. I voted for him last year!

Posted by: michele at April 28, 2005 02:31 PM

Bo "Tony Montoya" Bice exposed at thesmokinggun.com for coke bust. Nooooo Waaaay. You heard it here first.

Posted by: Dave at April 28, 2005 02:40 PM

Not really, Dave. Heard it about two hours ago at Fark.

Posted by: michele at April 28, 2005 02:42 PM

Fantasia said everyone last season got a record deal. At least Red's memorable - I can only think of four other people in the top 12.

Posted by: Tanya at April 28, 2005 02:42 PM

I remember Fantasia because she won and Diana and Red because my daughter was obsessed with them and Jennifer Hudson because I thought she would win. Everyone else is a distant memory.

Oh, the pen guy! Forgot his name though....

Posted by: michele at April 28, 2005 02:45 PM

Jon Peter Lewis

Posted by: jen at April 28, 2005 02:50 PM

Sigh. Fark servers back up, eh? Heard this one-Savol is secret member of Insane Clown Posse? Eh?

Posted by: Dave at April 28, 2005 02:50 PM

Funniest thing is they got a petition to have the votes recounted from last night. Apparently, quite a few folks said they got dead air when they tried to cast a vote for Constipation. I think people are getting way too serious about this.

Posted by: jen at April 28, 2005 02:53 PM

The hobbit. I forgot him. And there was that Hawaiian girl that sucked, and the girl who could sing like Lauryn Hill but never did. It's all coming back to me now... unfortunately.

Posted by: Tanya at April 28, 2005 03:03 PM

Constantine...he said that he has had more surprising things happen to him compared to getting booted off last night - good riddence. I'm surprised that the public was finally able to realize that he's just a Celine Dion without a voice. Yikes - his Nickelback cover was horrendous...and how many times can he kick at the cameras. His overacting make me cringe. Enough talentless singers who can't sing. Enough overemoting. Yeh...there's more to being an idol than just a singing voice, but you should have at least both. It's like Christina vs. Britney. Christina can write, sing, and shake her booty. Britney can shake her fat booty - which is bound to get fatter - but can't sing and doesn't write. So for all you Constantine lovers - you're fucked up! If you want overacting singers, get some of David Hasselhoff's music videos - at least he's almost as good looking as he thinks he is. Constantine is not good looking, but he sure thinks he's God's gift to women. And quit that sneering look and kicking at the camera - HE SUCKS and so do the people who voted for him all this time. Paula - you talentless pussy. No wonder you loved him so much. His voice sucks and he acts like he's the most wonderful singer in the world.

Posted by: Mick at April 28, 2005 06:35 PM

For those who missed the show (as I did) -- or just want to relive the experience -- there's WMP video here:

You get Seacrest delivering the news, Paula unable to speak, and Connie-boy singing over the Paula/mom hug. It's a clip to savor.

For the record: Happy that smarmbot is history. Actually liked Anthony this week. Loathe Savol (but my wife doesn't!). Want my Nadia back.

Now if I could just find video of Chloe blasting Terror Drone . . .

Posted by: Patrick at April 28, 2005 06:37 PM

"I'm surprised that the public was finally able to realize that he's just a Celine Dion without a voice."

Celine Dion is tame compared to Constantine. I would say that he was more like today's skinny Meatloaf. I hope he doesn't get as popular as Meatloaf did though. I cringe too when I see him sing...but it's fun to watch. It's just like seeing someone at a karaoke bar that really sucks - it's so disgustingly bad and overdone that you've got to watch it.

Posted by: Andrea at April 28, 2005 11:44 PM

haw haw i cant belive intellgent peoples like y'all seem ta be (or are ya?) would fall for that bull that Scott is still in the game cuz theres a conspracy ta F up american idol. are you fo realz or what? sure some dudes is gonna try ta jump on the bandwagen and say they gots all these pussy followers ta vote for who they claim is the worst just ta draw attention to themselves, everone who couldnt make it or wuz to scart ta try out wants a piece of the game dont they? or is it cuz there so dang afraid of Scott doin well they wanna incite folks ta definitly vote for others just to F Scott up. i mean cmon y'all. scott is still there cuz he can saaang plain and simple but y'all cant handle the trooth now can ya cuz it makes ya feel bad bout your own selfs. thats the real reson y'all want Scott ta lose no aint it? if ya got them pretty boyz up ther or hot ladiez ya can find all kinds of excuses like oh yeah well there good lookin and it helped them git to the top or there parents wuz rich so they paid there kidz way to the top but when some downhome ole oogly fat boy from a poor family makes it ya cant handle it cuz yer thinkin why couldnt it of been me then? Y'all show yer true colors with all this hate talk bout Scott, do ya think yer hurtin his feelings. boo hoo. Ya think a plain lookin fat kid like Scott hadnt been put down and teased and made fun of since he wuz a kid? Ain't nothin yer gonna say thats gonna bust him up. course when he wins all y'all evian sippin skinny ass hos is gonna be all ovah him beggin for a piece but he dont like the stank of puke on yer bulimic breaths.

Posted by: tom at May 3, 2005 10:04 AM

And with that, comments closed.

Posted by: michele at May 3, 2005 10:07 AM