April 26, 2005

And Then There Were 6

By Michele

And here we go again...

I know what the theme is tonight and the song choices are going to be mighty interesting.

Blahblah Seacrest Blahblahblah....I wish we could just streamline the show down to twenty minutes.

Scott is looking very Jabba the Hut tonight.

And the theme is ...songs from 2000 on.

Carrie up first.....she looks good with her hair straight like that. I have no idea what this song is, but she's doing nothing for me with it. Sounds like she's struggling to be heard.

That was very.....run of the mill. Not final six kind of stuff. I'm agreeing with Randy, go figure. She was drowning with this song. Holy shit, I'm agreeing with Paula??

Bo better not be doing Creed.

Alrighty. I don't know this song, either. But look at Bo with the poncho shirt. And the glasses. He's irking me tonight for some reason. The audience seems to really be digging him tonight. I liked it - I thought he definitely sold himself with this song, but I think the facial expression annoyed me, which I will let slide tonight because I love me some Bo. Faith called it - Bo was good but still not taking any risks. And Tanya called him on the Kravitz glasses before Simon did.

Vonzell next. I sense some Celine Dion coming up.....

Ack. No. She's doing Christina. Ok, these people have to do more than wade their way through a song and hope that the high notes carry them through. This is ok. Her weakest performance in the past three weeks. I love you Daddy? Ick. Like Ian said in the comments, she's Anwaring it. Shut the hell up, Randy. We got it. She's in the DAWG POUND. I thought it was boring. (But I still love her)

Holy shit. Federov is doing Celine Dion. This, I gotta see. I swear, if he pulls this off I will vote for him tonight. Just for the balls he has to have to do this.

I really want a Chewie ringtone. Oh, I've got a big surprise for you guys when Scottie the Body comes on.

Damn. He should have worn a dress. He singing this as if he's in bed after having sex with some hooker he just fell in love with. I meant that as sort of a compliment. This really isn't bad, considering what he's trying to pull off. But dude. IT's time to go home.

Ok, Constantine up next. Is he actually going to live up to his rocker label this week or is his transformation to lounge singer going to be completed?

OHmyfuckinggod. He's doing Nickelback. Shoot me. Shoot him. Game over, I officially loathe him. This sucks worse than the original and I didn't think anything could suck worse than Nickelback. God. Damn. That was awful.

Scott up next. And here's a little present for you all.

479715.gif

Don't blame me. I found it on Fark. I didn't want to be the only one going blind with horror tonight so I had to pass it on.


He;s the heart and soul of AMerica? We are DAMNED. What the hell is this song? Is it a lullabye? Because it's putting me into a freaking coma. Eh. That was kind of lame.

I'm not voting for anyone tonight.

 

Comments

what is this country song? why do i not care that i'm listening to it/

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:06 PM

i dont like this song at ALL! but she looks good

Posted by: Caryss at April 26, 2005 08:06 PM

My God that was awful! I couldn't even hear her singing for that terrible band! Yikes!!!

Posted by: JustLisa at April 26, 2005 08:07 PM

the band does suck. they should get a slew of badass producers to make the tracks for the show

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:07 PM

paula might be off the meds this week.

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:08 PM

She more likely read her press this week. They have her screwing contestants and rigging the show. She will probably be less likely to fellate Constantine. Though you never know.

Posted by: Jennifer at April 26, 2005 08:11 PM

Ha! I just noticed I used more than one exclamation point. It was *that* bad.

Posted by: JustLisa at April 26, 2005 08:11 PM

Finally decent hair for Carrie! But I agree - I complained through the whole thing that the band was drowning her out so much you couldn't even tell if she was in-key or not!

Posted by: robyn at April 26, 2005 08:11 PM

I don't like country so it's hard for me to judge (I know I've said that at least 50 times) but I love watching Carrie do country, because it makes her so happy and comfortable. I'm pretty sure that was a good performance if you like country.

Posted by: Tanya at April 26, 2005 08:12 PM

ryan seacrest is a real dick

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:13 PM

Missed Carrie but here I am!

Posted by: Faith at April 26, 2005 08:14 PM

what is this song? he's a total hippie tonight

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:14 PM

Oooo....I like this song...

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:15 PM

But wtf is he doing with it? What is that vibratto in his voice?

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:15 PM

I have no idea what this song is, but Bo's *selling* it. I like.

Posted by: Ian S. at April 26, 2005 08:16 PM

BO's from Alabama? Dear god, I had that shirt when I was in kindergarten.

He's channelling Axl Rose.

Posted by: Tanya at April 26, 2005 08:16 PM

that's the best performance he's done in quite a few weeks

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:16 PM

Big hit in the past few months. It's the video with everyone at this party...they're all frozen in time and this girl is walking around, trying on different outfits and makeup.

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:16 PM

Honestly, I wasn't thrilled with that. His voice was weak tonight.

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:17 PM

I had to go Google the song:
"I Don't Wanna Be" -Gavin DeGraw

Posted by: robyn at April 26, 2005 08:17 PM

Liked Bo. Still not taking risks though.

Posted by: Faith at April 26, 2005 08:17 PM

I was ok with the song, but the Lenny Kravitz glasses thru me off.

Posted by: Tanya at April 26, 2005 08:18 PM

Hm. I'm disagreeing with Simon this week. Except for the sunglasses. I think we're all agreeing on that point.

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:18 PM

hahaha!! Simon noticed too!

Posted by: Tanya at April 26, 2005 08:18 PM

At $6 he was ripped off :)

Posted by: Ian S. at April 26, 2005 08:19 PM

am i the only person on this site rooting for constantine?

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:19 PM

I sure hope so Tony.

Posted by: Faith at April 26, 2005 08:20 PM

i think he's a magician

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:22 PM

the first week some girl did "my heart will go on" and got booted. nobody wants to hear celine dion.

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:22 PM

I gotta say, thank the lord for you guys tonight. My cable is out due to a big thunderstorm rolling through, and I can't get our local fox affiliate with rabbit ears. Shite! If not for you, my Idol fetish would be going totally unfulfilled.

I'm so not worthy. Thank you!

Posted by: Kelley at April 26, 2005 08:23 PM

No, I'm a closet Constantine lover, too :-)

Posted by: Amanda at April 26, 2005 08:23 PM

Weak start

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:24 PM

what is this? I'm sleepy.

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:25 PM

Vonzell, you go girl!

Posted by: Faith at April 26, 2005 08:26 PM

She's totally Anwaring it - weak start, big finish.

Posted by: Ian S. at April 26, 2005 08:26 PM

I thought she was terrible.

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:27 PM

welcome to the dog pound? i don't know if i would consider that a compliment if i was a girl.

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:27 PM

randy is right ... she does challenge herself each week. i dont see many others taking huge risks like that

Posted by: Caryss at April 26, 2005 08:27 PM

Federov is singing Celine?!?! Oh lord please be the week he leaves.

Posted by: Faith at April 26, 2005 08:29 PM

OH my GOD! I want federov GONE. I hope CELINE DION was his death wish. poor. poor.

but if he pulls it off i don't know what..

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:29 PM

Federov is going to do Celene Dion? I'm vomiting already.

Posted by: Ian S. at April 26, 2005 08:30 PM

It was a risk, but I think Simon was right--she was a little flat at the beginning. Good job, though.

Posted by: Amanda at April 26, 2005 08:30 PM

Dude. Vonzell. That song does absolutely nothing for me, and I swear, I actually teared up. She's so absurdly talented.

Posted by: Tanya at April 26, 2005 08:30 PM

BURP! Sorry I'm late...late dinner...in front of the TV.

Carrie...nice growls but the song did nothing for me.

Bo. The dashiki and the glasses? WTF? But a better version of that song than the orginal.

Vonzell. Ummm, flat, boring, but watching her is fun.

The Chewie ringtones Cingular commercial...love that.

Posted by: Timmer at April 26, 2005 08:30 PM

I must be jaded from the hormones. I was. So bored. During that Vonzell performance.

I swear to all that's holy, if I have to suffer through another frickin' Celine song...

Posted by: robyn at April 26, 2005 08:32 PM

Michele, if he pulls it off, it will prove he has NO balls. ;)

Posted by: Faith at April 26, 2005 08:32 PM

i can't wait for new family guy

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:32 PM

Okey doke. I can handle being the only one who liked Vonzell. :o)

I just wish she had done I song I didn't hate.

Posted by: Tanya at April 26, 2005 08:33 PM

I'm late to the party, but I've been watching. Carrie: hated it. And I *do* like country music. It was bad.

Bo: I have to say, it does my heart good to know that my nearly 40-year-old self knew that song when have of y'all didn't. And Bo did a great job with it.

Vonzell: She looks beautiful tonight, and... well, she looks beautiful tonight! :-) I love her but that was not a good performance.

Posted by: Kathleen at April 26, 2005 08:33 PM

Tanya, I loved Vonzell! Didn't know the song, but thought she was great!

Posted by: Faith at April 26, 2005 08:34 PM

man, these bio's get pretty excruciating..

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:34 PM

Roommate just said: And Anthony sounds even worse now!

I agree.

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:34 PM

Ummm, make that *half* of y'all. Typo gremlins. :-)

Posted by: Kathleen at April 26, 2005 08:35 PM

Gad. I hate Federov, but I love his parents.

Posted by: Tanya at April 26, 2005 08:35 PM

who is this wardrobe? ryan seacrest meets chicago gangster circa 1920?

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:35 PM

He's like that comedian with the guitar who does the stories. It's not his voice that bugs me, it's his phrasing.

Posted by: Timmer at April 26, 2005 08:36 PM

he actually doesn't sound that bad.

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:36 PM

Ouch.

Just....ouch.

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:36 PM

I think I like this better than the original. Please send help.

Posted by: Ian S. at April 26, 2005 08:36 PM

he's actually pulling this off..

i'm shocked. I don't hate this.

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:37 PM

I'm recalling David Soul right now.

That's not the good thing I usually think it is.

Posted by: Faith at April 26, 2005 08:37 PM

Right song, wrong key, too many flat notes. Or sharp notes, depending on the particular note.

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:37 PM

My husband just said it best--that was just another one of Anthony's boring-ass white boy songs.

Posted by: Amanda at April 26, 2005 08:37 PM

Faith...that's it! David Soul.

Posted by: Timmer at April 26, 2005 08:37 PM

I'm shocked, but Anthony was tolerable. Not great, but certainly not bad.

Posted by: Kathleen at April 26, 2005 08:38 PM

Or maybe it's my tv that's off. I'm hearing a lot of flat notes tonight.

Hrm...

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:38 PM

i agree with paula..

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:38 PM

His voice is so beautiful. He bores me to tears, and he doesn't belong on this show, but he should be a millionaire with that voice.

He reminded me so much of a young Freddie Mercury with that song.

Posted by: Tanya at April 26, 2005 08:38 PM

I'm not sure it's his heart that's being touched...

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:39 PM

Tanya, sharing the drugs with Paula this week? ;)

Posted by: Faith at April 26, 2005 08:39 PM

Tanya, that's heresy. Heresy, I say! ;-)

Posted by: Kathleen at April 26, 2005 08:39 PM

A what? I thought that was probably his best vocal since his original audition, but let's not go overboard.

Posted by: Ian S. at April 26, 2005 08:40 PM

I agree, Tanya. He's got a great voice, but he's just so vanilla.

Posted by: Amanda at April 26, 2005 08:41 PM

At the beginning, before Bo showed up and before he went all smoldering...I was rooting for Constantine to make it because he was a rocker...I loathe myself for that now.

Posted by: Timmer at April 26, 2005 08:41 PM

he would be a swedish pop star, on line with ace of base, sondre lurche, or abba, or even the cardigans, if the songs they gave him to sing were good enough...

or he could star in mentos commericals

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:41 PM

Okay, so are all of the Fox affiliates having a "local professional musician giving advice to potential idols" on the news tonight?

Posted by: Timmer at April 26, 2005 08:42 PM

I did say that he bored me to tears.

He belongs on an easy listening station. On a station that would actually play Celine Dion, which I literally have never heard. But he does have a gorgeous voice.

(And the Freddie Mercury comment was entirely on the tone of his voice, not the entertainment value.)

Posted by: Tanya at April 26, 2005 08:44 PM

His family is scarier than he is.

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:44 PM

constantine's family is very non-middle american.

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:44 PM

O.K., I've never posted here before but I wanted to tell you all how much I enjoy your comments. I read them every week. This is pretty funny stuff and I laugh like crazy when I read it. I happen to love Vonzell, and though she didn't sing an exciting song, I thought she showed more range in her voice than ever before. Keep up the hilarious comments.

Posted by: Leslie at April 26, 2005 08:44 PM

Noooooo! He's butchering a song I love!

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:45 PM

This is the left side of nickelback_sucks.mp3, right?

Posted by: Ian S. at April 26, 2005 08:45 PM

no. not this time.

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:45 PM

From New York? I'm just sayin'...

WTF?! Oh kill me now...I don't like that song when it's done well...

Posted by: Timmer at April 26, 2005 08:45 PM

Fan-freakin'-tastic. I *used* to love this song until Constantine got his off-key, Willie-Nelson-wannabee vibrato all over it.

Posted by: Kathleen at April 26, 2005 08:46 PM

this is weak. i think he sucks when he tries to be a rocker. he's better off as the greasy seducer guy.

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:46 PM

*sobs*

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:46 PM

I'm with Michele. I despise Nickelback, and this is way worse than the original.

Posted by: Ian S. at April 26, 2005 08:47 PM

One word: smarmy.

Posted by: Faith at April 26, 2005 08:47 PM

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:47 PM

Anthony and Carrie are sooo good.
Constine is good too. I liked his choice this week. Anthony is sooo my favorite!!!!!

Posted by: Belinda at April 26, 2005 08:48 PM

Well. That sucked. He just shouldn't be doing rock.

I wonder if he intentionally changed the words to make the song mean something totally different...

Posted by: Tanya at April 26, 2005 08:48 PM

Oh my god...The judges agree...um...somewhat...

Every genre? Paula, he has only one genre - lounge singer.

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:48 PM

that would be like casting a spell..

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:49 PM

I read the cover of People...Paula's been living in Vicodin-land.

Simon was right on again.

Posted by: Timmer at April 26, 2005 08:49 PM

simon agrees with me. the rocker thing doesn't work for constantine

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:49 PM

Can someone duct tape Seacrest to some wall backstage?

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:50 PM

Willie-Nelson-wannabee vibrato

HAHAHAHA!!!!

Posted by: Tanya at April 26, 2005 08:50 PM

Thanks, Tanya. I'm here all week. :-)

Posted by: Kathleen at April 26, 2005 08:51 PM

Michele, was it not bad enough that I burned my eyes out this afternoon with shampoo? Another several hours of burning eye horror I needed??

Posted by: Faith at April 26, 2005 08:54 PM

Think they'll be interviewing Scott's baby mama?

Posted by: Faith at April 26, 2005 08:54 PM

Thanks, Michele. I mean it.

Posted by: Ian S. at April 26, 2005 08:54 PM

A PRIEST?

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:54 PM

"always thought he'd be a priest"

rofl

Posted by: tony at April 26, 2005 08:55 PM

Michele, that's too, too funny. You're evil. But I don't mean that in a bad way.

Posted by: Kathleen at April 26, 2005 08:55 PM

Damnit, Faith, you took my joke.

Notice how they didn't interview his son either?

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:55 PM

I grew up outside Cleveland, and there are definitely not a million Scotts running around!

Posted by: Amanda at April 26, 2005 08:56 PM

Kat, I hope it's not that you burned your corneas with evil shampoo today too? ;)

Posted by: Faith at April 26, 2005 08:56 PM

There had better not be a million fatties walking around Cleveland!

Posted by: Pauly at April 26, 2005 08:56 PM

Michele is one of those few people who is evil in a good way.

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:56 PM

i dont think this luther song is from 2000. he made this song before his stroke and i know he didnt have the stroke 5 years ago. anyway, scott sucks ... go home

Posted by: Caryss at April 26, 2005 08:56 PM

He's trying to sing Luther?!

That's it, the boy's insane!

Posted by: Timmer at April 26, 2005 08:57 PM

This sucks even not looking at him. Please go home, bitch.

Posted by: Faith at April 26, 2005 08:57 PM

This song is boring and out of tune. If he isn't voted off tomorrow I will scream.

Posted by: Ian S. at April 26, 2005 08:57 PM

Hey, watch it, dude! Not all of us fatties are voting for Scott. :-P

Gods, there was *nothing* redeeming about that performance. Y A W N.

Posted by: Kathleen at April 26, 2005 08:57 PM

*yawn*

pleasevotehimoffpleasevotehimoffpleasevotehimoffpleasevotehimoff

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 08:58 PM

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't he get into this contest with some sob story of how his daddy didn't believe in him and told him he'd fail...and he picks this song?!?

Posted by: robyn at April 26, 2005 08:59 PM

Leaving alone the fact the he missed every f*cking important note, I have never heard that song before and I still want to bitchslap him for putting his nasty self all over lyrics like that.

Posted by: Tanya at April 26, 2005 08:59 PM

Ohhhhh, that gif is awesome. That totally fixed my anger. Thank heaven for fark. :o)

Posted by: Tanya at April 26, 2005 09:06 PM

Goddamnit, Michele, that gif is freaky. It's scaring my boyfriend.

Posted by: kat at April 26, 2005 09:07 PM

Scott disgusts me. He was trying to use the everyday guy thing, but he is clearly not. He is fat and mean. I am sure Luther wouldn't not have appreciated him fcuking up his song like that.

Posted by: Vanessa at April 26, 2005 09:11 PM

bend ovah y'all specially Jen from last week but not Strobe. and whoever dun posted that lame gif is a poser biotch who gotta copy everone ta be cool or shell cry wah wah no one like me. Like I said yer all jealous that Scott gots the nerve ta even try out and look how far he dun got with all them millions of wannabes that gots nowhere. He can outsing them all but he aint no pretty boy and thats the real thang isnt it biotches? Ya wanna root for the buff guys cuz secretly ya thinks oooo maybe if i rite him a fan letter he'll like me. or oooo maybe ill git sum money and git out ta LA and meet one of them and theyll smile at me. Well take it from me Anwar's gay and Constantin will swing that way if theres somethin in it for him. An the rest of them aint even nice but just play that way so y'all will vote. Theyd as soon spit on ya. Nadia wuz the only decent chick. Scott didnt beat no bitch either. He wuz just tryin ta get the ho up off him and defend hisself cuz when he threw the ring at her she went whack. The only reason Scott would be out is cuz he dun made a mistake in pickin the song but he realized it to late and cuz of jealous prejudiced pussys like y'all. Yeah he'll be out on the street with a phat recordin contract in his rite hand while he jacks hisself off in yer mouf wit the other.

Posted by: joe at April 27, 2005 01:53 AM

Hey, Joe, a novel idea: Next time you decide to write something, format your sentences so that they make sense to those who don't have the mental capacity of a doorknob.

Don't like the opinions presented here? Don't read 'em. Simple as that. Shit.

Anyway.

Did anyone else think that Anythony really looked feminine tonight? I think it's all the make up they keep piling on his face. :/ Anyway.. performance wise: Scott was all over the place. I really hope he goes home this week. It's just.. beyond his time to go.

Actually, to be honest, I wasn't totally blown away by anyone's performances tonight. It was just 'blah' for me. :/

Posted by: Nikki at April 27, 2005 04:26 AM

I'm sorry, Joe. Was that in English? Didn't understand a word you wrote. But thanks for stopping by all the same.

Posted by: michele at April 27, 2005 05:14 AM

Hey Joe or should I say Scott? Thanks for stopping by and showing us how truly illiterate you are. You are history bubehle!

Posted by: jen at April 27, 2005 09:48 AM

Bo being the best performer and Scott sinking to a new low. Priest my ass! His performance last night sucked the big one. Carrie, head to the bottom three..you need to be humbled girl! Vonzell, has done better. Constantine, no comment. Anthony, god forgive me, i liked him.

Posted by: jen at April 27, 2005 09:52 AM

After reading Michele's comments and the comments of everyone else here, I'm glad that I missed the entire show.

Why did you keep Joe's comment? Because he didn't use the word HOTTIEZ? ;)

Posted by: nastybastard at April 27, 2005 10:04 AM

Last night was pretty lame. Everyone was WAAAY too relaxed at this stage in the game.

Carrie: I hate country, but that's Carrie's thing, and she's good at it.
Bo: I love Bo, and the song was good, but what's up with the freaky shirt and glasses?
Vonzell: She looks beautiful and sang great. Best performance of the night (but that's not saying much).
Anthony: Brave choice and he did a good job of it, but I didn't like it. Too cheesy.
Constantine: That was awful. Just truly terrible. It hurt my ears AND my eyes.
Scott: Perhaps a poor choice of song, based on comments he made earlier in the show, but it actually was not bad. Much better than Constantine and Anthony (but he's still a punk and my #1 choice to go home).


Posted by: Janet at April 27, 2005 10:32 AM

Scott was "not bad"? Girl, did Scott throw a phone at your head or something? Do we need to take you to the ER? His range was non-existent, bland and monotonous, (however the hell it's spelled)and I heard that Luther Vandross just had a heart attack and a stroke after hearing what Thugboy did to his song. Plus, he's a scumbag. Now, Vonzell is to me, more lively and fun than Carrie Under-oos will ever be. Carrie is boring and I just want to call her Muffy whenever I see her.

Posted by: jen at April 27, 2005 10:43 AM

LOL!! Well, I was really tired last night!! I only vote for Bo each week, so no worries there. Hopefully, Simon is right and this is the last week of Scotty the Body.

I totally agree about Vonzell. She's one of my favorites (next to Bo).

It was interesting (and in some cases, disturbing!) to see the contestants' families. Bo's mom looks so young!! She must have had him early...she's probably only a few years older than me (that's a depressing thought...sigh).

Posted by: Janet at April 27, 2005 10:53 AM

Janet and Paula share vicodins and beer

Posted by: jen at April 27, 2005 11:26 AM

...and under-age men...

Posted by: Janet at April 27, 2005 11:31 AM

Girl after my own heart. I hear Scott's looking for a sugar mama. Maybe you can help keep his fat ass off the domestic abuse circuit

Posted by: jen at April 27, 2005 11:33 AM

Ugh. Thanks for ruining my breakfast!

Posted by: Janet at April 27, 2005 11:36 AM

After listening to Constantine does anyone else want to stab theirselves in the ear with a pencil? And did anyone else notice where Constantine got his *ahem* looks... ugh.. getting sick...

Posted by: Diane at April 27, 2005 01:09 PM

Can anyone else see Vonzell one day singing for sesame street...?

Posted by: Diane at April 27, 2005 01:22 PM