March 08, 2005

Howler Monkey Night

By Stacy

Yeah, I'm more than a little sick of the girls this year...

Amanda - My hatred for you increases weekly. My dream scenario at this point is a you/Constantine sandwich coinciding with a horrific industrial grinder accident.

Janay - Finally someone told her to take out the hell-yellow contacts and we see her real eye color. If she'd done that from the beginning she might have made it further. Sad performance though, I think her confidence is shot at this point.

Carrie - Wow, someone who can belt Bonnie Raitt stooping to this wussy stuff? Good thing your boobs are all glittery.

Vonzell - Sweet, and fun. For once I agree with crack-whore Paula.

Nadia - Thank the gods this version is more reminiscent of Three Dog Night than Otis Redding. I love this girl, she's probably supplanting Mikalah in my favor this evening. *coff*

Lindsey - Aerosmith. How owdinawy. </Lili von Schtup> Niiiice Seacrest slam. I <3 Simon. Again.

Mikalah - OMG, I just figured out who she reminds me of when she speaks...the hoor Steve Martin picks up in The Man With Two Brains, the one who sings "Duke of Oil (Earl)" in the most awful Brooklyn accent. Ugh. Tonight's performance, however, does not suck. At least the majority of it isn't coming through her nose.

Jessica - A fat face, no neck, a lisp AND an underbite. I cannot stand looking at this girl. That said, this song doesn't suck...oh, but the riffing does. Ugh, go. Now.

 

Comments

Thank jebus this part of the competition is over. Tuesday nights were becoming torture.

Posted by: michele at March 9, 2005 05:05 AM

Mikalah's performance didn't suck!?!?!? Which Mikalah's performance were you watching, or had you been sucking down Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters for hours on end?

Still, 13-year old girls will love her and I bet she'll make final four.

Posted by: Victor at March 9, 2005 07:45 AM

wha, no props to lindsey? last night was the very first performance where she did not touch her own breasts! did anyone else notice this? before last night, every time she'd sing, she'd feel herself up.

and she was damned close last night, but managed to avoid the self-grope.

as for the girls in general? *yawn* nadia was good. i hate to admit it, but jessica wasn't that bad, either. too bad she's a skank.

Posted by: mikey at March 9, 2005 02:33 PM