February 01, 2005

Late to the Party

By Stacy

Sarah does have a magnificent voice, but I must second the troll analysis below. Great self-esteem in her, good for her. And hey, full body hug from LL. *rowr*

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Scott, you're white, ok? You're not from the 'hood. You're not.
Update - It really torques me you can actually sing.

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I'd love to have LL Cool J over to dinner.

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What in the hell is with the return of the 70s shags for men? Stop it. Right now.

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Stupid mime. People who waste my time with this gimmicky crap should be subject to twenty lashes.

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Farm boy - Can you be that gay and wear overalls? Is that allowed? Very nice voice, though.

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When Randy says, "You can blow", do you think that's an approbation or a suggestion? Just axing.

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Dear gods, the sisters couldn't SING, why are they freaking crying over being told 'no'? STOP MISLEADING YOUR FAMILIES!!!

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Briana Davis, buy a mirror. And why are you wasting your operatically-trained voice on a pop competition, eh?

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Anthony Federov - Pulling for you, boy. You have a fine voice and you are not so insufferably full of yourself. Plus, you totally grabbed your girlfriend's ass when you came out with your golden ticket. You go, boy.

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White Boys? That wasn't singing, that was yelling. Girl, you made my dog bark.

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Eschine, honey...you didn't hit one single note. Not one.

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Ryan Miller - Body double for Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Boogie Nights. "Hey...uh, you wanna see my car?"

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Vonzell Solomon - You know, I think you can actually sing, but you were too busy adding vocal fillips in there. Stop showing your ass and show your voice instead, dummy.

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Lookit Cingular, getting the major ad space in there by offering the winners a phone to call home. Smoov, fellas.

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Desmond Meeks - Another one I will watch in the hopes of witnessing his mortal embarrassment. You know, the producers really need to tell Paula to get her tootsie roll when the cameras ain't rolling.

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Next week...San Francisco: Michael Jackson impersonator, I will NEVER understand you people. JP FREAKING Mulfetta??? WTF am I being inflicted with these losers this year? WHY???

 

Comments

I thought G Money Fat white guy was the one that shocked me the most. Sure, he's all 'street' and what not, but damn he had some pipes. I be straight tripping yo.

Posted by: Gabe at February 1, 2005 11:05 PM

Farm boy - Can you be that gay and wear overalls? Is that allowed? Very nice voice, though.

Exactly. I said to my wife, "He's SO gay," and she said, "What?"

I'm with you on Federov, not so much on Vonzell. Great presentation, and, to borrow a phrase, girlfriend can BLOW!

Absolutely with you on Desmond. He can't die soon enough.

Posted by: CraigC at February 2, 2005 01:16 AM

desmond? sorry, i'll bet that he can't sing worth shit if it's something NOT by james brown.

i don't know who i want to fail more, him or "sold my wedding ring" lady. please, update the Failinator (i LOVE these things, by the way) to include desmond, though.

LL? you seem like a genuinely nice guy. kinda makes you worthless as a judge, though. you wanted to send everybody through!

and the mime? stupid gimmick, but i thought it was damned funny that the judges agreed that it was one of the best performances of the day.

Posted by: mikey at February 2, 2005 12:55 PM

Desmond-failinator motion seconded.


You know, when Paula said, "I never took vocal lessons", I believe it was all Simon could do to refrain from comment. You're a bigger man than me, buddy, that's for sure.

Posted by: Sekimori at February 2, 2005 01:08 PM

I think we might as well go ahead and put the other Mulfetta on the Failinator if all Paula has to do is threaten to quit over his weak ass performance.

Posted by: Gabe at February 2, 2005 02:12 PM

Desmond Meeks is a really talented singer. I know him personally. He actually can sing. He's a great guy with a HELL of a lot of talent. And he can sing plenty of things that aren't James Brown. He's one talented motherfucker.

Posted by: Shari at February 6, 2005 04:12 PM

oooOOOOooooo. Well, we'll certainly see, won't we.

Posted by: Sekimori at February 6, 2005 04:19 PM

You will. He really is talented. Guess you have to get to know him to get over his... well... his being a one man gay pride parade.

Posted by: Shari at February 6, 2005 11:16 PM

No, no, I don't care who he likes to spend his evenings with, I just don't like the ridiculous efforts Paula went to to get him included. It was ridiculous and, I think, done specifically to ameliorate the Diva aspect of last season.

Anyway, we'll see come Tuesday. I have a feeling he's the one Simon was talking to when he said, "you've come all this way to embarrass yourself." (paraphrased)

Posted by: Sekimori at February 6, 2005 11:50 PM

If you saw the previews... he's also the one that does a backflip on stage. I think he's magnificent.

Posted by: Shari at February 7, 2005 10:02 PM

Yeah, what that has to do with a SINGING COMPETITION, I'm sure I don't know.

Posted by: Sekimori at February 8, 2005 09:29 AM