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April 10, 2005

Meet the Mets, Beat the Mets, v.2005

One of the after-effects of last year's loss was having to listen to the insipid bellowing from Mets fans. You would think that fans of a team that has suffered from LOSER status for so long would think twice about berating fans of a team that actually made it to the ALCS, but Met fans were never really known for their genius.

I mean, how ridiculous is it for you spend a winter doing the Nelson Muntz at me when your team has been a blazing disaster for so long?

And this is why I loathe the Mets more than the Red Sox, more than the Cowboys, more than Duke, more than any team in all of sports, world wide, professional or amatuer. Why I hate the Mets with a broad, sweeping hatred that knows no depth nor width, that is endless, black and unforgiving. Because their fans - my dear father included - tend to be assholes. Raging, hemorrhoidal assholes.

Met fans do things like this and this.

Of course, that's just part of the reason I hate the Mets. As I've mentioned before, there's also Gary Carter, George Foster, Howard Johnson, Keith Hernandez, Len Dykstra, Roger McDowell, Doug Sisk, Lee Mazilli and 1980's era Strawberry, Gooden and Cone. Old shit? Yes, but rivalries run deep. Oh, it started before that. Way before that. Approach me with the phrase You Gotta Believe and I'll vomit in your Mets cap. And how about that Mr. Met? Why make a mascot that just begs to have his head smacked in?

All of the above is why I take such great pleasure in walking up to my father and saying How 'bout them Mets?

Posted by Michele at April 10, 2005 10:58 AM

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The bar around the corner is a Mutthouse, and I heard a neverending stream of shit all winter from those clowns, thrashing the Yanks as chokers and bragging about how the "new" Mutts were gonna trash the Braves and Phillies and all that kind of crap. So walking in there last night and barking "Oh and friggin' five? You monkeys are all buying me a beer here tonight!" was especially enjoyable, even when then they started throwing coasters at me.

Posted by: TC at April 10, 2005 11:15 AM

As a kid, I always used to change the lyrics to the Mets theme song. Only I never ever used the words "Meet the Mets". It was just "Beat the Mets. Beat the Mets. Step right up and beat the Mets."

But I still hate the Red Sox more.

Posted by: Lesley at April 10, 2005 10:03 PM

I thoroughly enjoy beating the Spankmees. Loved pouring them the biggest glass of Choke in baseball history. That's the Yankee legacy for this millennium. $200 million payroll and starting Chacon, Wright, the Big Eunuch(AKA the Big Ugly), and guys named Melky and Bubba. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Posted by: Big Papi at May 19, 2006 06:45 PM