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March 15, 2005
My First Day On The Darkside
The Cubs are dead to me. 44 years of endless humiliation and inaptitude is more than enough. There comes a time when a man must stand up and say, NO MORE! Today is that day.
I leave the hapless saps on Chicago's north side unapologetically. Dusty ("in whom we trusty") Baker, a pathetic wretch if ever there was one, can't get over "Salsa" Sammy Sosa the choke king. Kerry Wood and Mark Prior are injured already an all too predictable development that management once again failed to anticipate. Steve Stone, baseball's best analyst, is forced out for having an opinion. The joke will continue without me. I'll fully expand on my departure at a later date.
So I've joined the legions of fans rooting for baseball's greatest team. God, I so look forward to mocking those provincial mopes from bean town who, lets face it, get lucky oooooh about once a century. Bill Buckner, Bill Buckner,Bill Buckner,Bill Buckner,Bill Buckner,Bill Buckner,Bill Buckner,Bill Buckner. Hah! Fools all, run in fear of that name, as well they should for a return to glory will no doubt take another century or so.
While I'm at it, how about those Metropolitan's? Beltran's going to save the day you say? Sure, just add 8 other guys who can play ball and you might be on your way! There's some other problems as well. For example, you can't remove the stain of those horrible fans, whose more than ample posteriors darken the seats of Shea. Grimy fisted fools, marching through the turnstyles blinded by their fearful recognition that nobody else really cares. They scream "we'll show them this year"..... and by April 15th, their season over, they're reduced to muttering their same tired mantra, "wait until next year". Oh watching their suffering will be delicious as our hero's once again assume their rightful place at the top.
So there you go. Admittedly I'm not fully up to the level of my fellow coalition members in terms all that is glorious about the Yanks, but I'll get there. I'll get there real fast. You see, I have something that others don't. I've got the fervor of the converted. My promise to you, dear reader, is that I'll pursue my newly found passion with the intensity of one who has seen the light, er darkness! Along the way, we're gonna have some fun.
Thanks to Michelle for accepting me into the family.
Posted by Sherard at March 15, 2005 09:34 AM
Comments
"Hello. My name is Chris and I am Cubs fan."
Out of the frying pan...
Go Sox.
Posted by: spd rdr at March 15, 2005 09:49 AM
Ah, the RSN bandwagon was getting kinda full anyway.
Posted by: skillzy at March 15, 2005 10:03 AM
Spd rdr,
Good One! Tell me, is it hard to type as you tremble in fear?
Posted by: Chris at March 15, 2005 10:40 AM
I'll let you know if it ever happens, Chris.
The Cubs just don't rattle me much.
Posted by: spd rdr at March 15, 2005 02:51 PM
Way to go Chris! Go from rooting from on perennial loser, to the perennial loser of the future! Lemme guess-you're now a Patriots, Pistons, and Tampa Bay Lightning fan too? Oh wait, I guess that would make you a fan of winners, not choke-job artists. My advice to you is to stay a Cubs fan- at least then the entire world won't hate you. Lesson #1 Chris- $186 million can't buy happiness, and neither will $205 million.
Posted by: The Curse of Big Papi at March 17, 2005 12:04 PM
chris, you realize that this conversion to Spankeeism is even more humiliating than 44 years of Cubs losses, right? at least there are enough posers on the MFY bandwagon that you won't have any trouble fitting in...
Posted by: chaglang at March 17, 2005 03:48 PM
how the hell can you turn on the cubs. you were never a real fan. stupid frustrted white sox fan posing as a yankee for shame.
Posted by: tony at August 18, 2005 10:15 PM