I dug this baby out of the garage.
A plastic cup (in very bad condition) from 1980. Boba Fett, Bounty Hunter. There's a circle with a picture of Vader next to Fett that just says Darth Vader, but he doesn't get a title caption. Darth Vader, Bad Ass MoFo would have worked.
The answer to the most asked question in my inbox:
Subject to change: With further viewings 3 may surpass 4, and 2 - seen in the context of 3 - may move ahead of 6.
You were destined to have a Red Lightsaber.
Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is
associated with energy, war, danger, strength,
power, and determination as well as passion and
desire. You have seen the Strength and Power of
the Dark Side of the Force and have you thirst
for more of it.
What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
It's not easy to tame an obsession when your best friend shares said obsession with you. She's been scurrying around to all the BKs on Long Island in an attempt to secure all 31 toys for each of us and dumped these on my lap when we met for lunch today. Bless her rebel alliance heart. She's also going to see EpIII with me (and our respective children) on Friday night (this will be my third showing) and we're going to go back to my house after and watch Ep4. If we weren't both female and married, I'd marry her. We always joke that we would have made good wives for each other. I bet she wouldn't laugh and point when I made the suggestion that we have our house built to look like the Death Star.
Anyhow, in other news, it's about 48 degrees, rainy and windy in this last week of May in New York. I feel like I should be putting up Halloween decorations.
And how could I almost forget? Les Nessman and his jolly band of 100 word authors awaits your perusal of/rating of/additions to today's stories.
Imagine that someone starts telling you a story. It's a made up story, one you've never read in a book before. He tells you the tale in installments, a little at a time - maybe he starts in the middle and then later on fills you in on the beginning. Imagine that he takes 28 years to tell you the whole story. How do you feel when it finally ends, when he closes the book and says it's over?
I am suffering from PSWDD (Post Star Wars Depression Disorder). I realized this morning that it is really, finally over. Sure, there will be books and comics and possibly tv shows. But the movies, the big screen excitement, is all done.
In 1998 we had a fish named Boba Fett. Boba got sick and we flushed him down the toilet. I told the kids that it was just like Boba Fett going into the Sarlacc pit and that someday he, too, might find his way out.
Yes, my obsession runs deep (though not deep enough to be Level 3). But it's about more than naming fish after the characters or spending $120 on a lightsaber. It's about the story.
This fairy tale, this space opera, this swashbuckling adventure or whatever you want to call it has been slowly unraveled over the course of 28 years. In the time since I first laid my eyes on an imperial star destroyer until last week when the final credits to Revenge of the Sith rolled down the screen, the world has changed. My life has changed numerous times. I graduated high school, went to college, got married, had two kids, got divorce, got married again, bought a house. I grew up. And even with the long gaps in between chapters, I never forgot about it and never let it go. Sure, I put my Burger King Luke Skywalker glasses away and the Vader helmet collected dust in the attic, but the stories themselves never left my heart. Like I've done with the books I have loved over time, I kept the characters in my heart and mind because their stories were interwoven with my life. Yoda and Han were right in there with Kay from The Snow Queen or Lucy, Edmond and Peter. And just as I was saddened when I closed the last of the Narnia books, I am a bit sad now, that a story so long in the making and so glorious in its telling has come to an end.
It's like someone just walked into a room and said "Ok, time to put the toys away and grow up now!" No, I don't want to. You can't make me.
I'm having a serious case of PSWDD. I hate the sound (imagined or not) of a good book slamming closed.
Burger King better not cave. And if they do, it better not be until I ge every last one of those toys. There will be wrath. There will be protests. There will be Star Wars rage.
I am so out of control. But don't be alarmed. The same thing happened in '99 and I came out of it ok.
So. Where to begin. I'm kind of giddy right now and waaay overtired and I'm just going to ramble on, hit save and go to bed without editing or proofreading anything.
First, this: I am not going to sit here and pick out the flaws and bitch about continuity. And yea, the dialogue was mostly horrid, but I knew that going in. I expected no less. The acting? I don't think Hayden Christensen is going to win any Academy Awards in his lifetime. But that Yoda? What an actor!
Spoilers and embarassing geekiness below.
In just four hours I'll be sitting in a darkened movie theater, awaiting the start of the culmination of 28 years worth of slavish devotion to fictional characters and settings.
Please check out the Carnival of the Force (as seen on CNN!) for more SW related links as well as new links to blogger reviews. I bet it's been updated ten times since you last looked.
I don't know if I'll do my review when I get home or wait until morning, but you can bet I'll at least log on to say something like "Yea, it was as awesome, cheesy and breathtaking as I expected it to be!"
Oh - there's a whole new crop of stories over at 100 Words or Les Nessman. Go read and then write your own for today's theme.
Aaaaaand....it's Friday! The day I put on a wig, get drunk and pretend to be Brett Somers.
Another Star Wars toy camera phone picture below.
Been a busy day at work and now we're headed out to baseball (where DJ will be testing the limits of reality and see if he can get The Force to help him with his swing). I don't want to slack in my Star Wars geek duty, though.
First, a special treat for you:
Bill Murray: Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars....(download)
And one of my favorites: Supernova doing Chewbacca (What a Wookiee) from Clerks (download)
Don't forget the vintage SW radio ads here, and all the SW posts gathered in one place here, especially the Carnival of the Force which may or may not be featured on CNN at some point today, so I hear.
And, I can't believe that in nearly five years of this site and all the lists I've made and movie quote posts I've written that I never did this:
Favorite Star Wars quotes, any of the movies. The floor is yours.
Between blogs and Fark, I've read about 100 mini reviews of RotS, and the opinions seem overwhelmingly favorable.
The Carnival of the Force will now include reviews.
Here's the rule for today: Do not tell me how much the movie sucked, how much you hated it, what a travesty it was. Do not suck the life out of my anticipation a full day before I get to see the film. Oh, you can come in here and drop comments about how much you loved it, how it rocked, how it made you fee like a kid again or want to make love to Yoda or how this makes up for the past two films. Because that all fuels my enthusiasm, and that's a much better thing to do for someone than to gleefully tell them that they are getting coal for Christmas. Follow?
Once I actually see the movie (7:15 tomorrow night), then we can discuss your opinion vs. mine.
Another thing: Save your rants about the dialogue and acting. This is Star Wars. We're all pretty sure the dialogue and acting are going to suck. It's inevitable and it's something most of us have come to expect and tolerate. I'm in it for the story. Because despite everything I feel about George Lucas, despite my histrionics about how much I hate him and how he's a greedy bastard and a bit of a loon, he sure knows how to weave a gorgeous story. He may not do it with stellar dialogue, but a story like this does not need beautifully written words. The plot speaks for itself. The characters, the settings, the scenery, the emotions, they all speak for themselves and Lucas knows how to play that out on the screen (for the most part) and how to make the audience feel as if they are part of that story. I don't care if sometimes the actors look or sound wooden because I'm not watching the movie to scout out Oscar winning performances. I'm watching a story unfold. A story 28 years in the waiting.
If you saw the movie and wrote a review, leave a link in the comments. Please, for the love of Yoda, make it known if you have spoilers in your review.
I swear, I will come up with some non-SW content today. Really.
[Has been updated many times, new links added this morning, just scroll to the bottom. And please, nobody leave any spoilers, reviews or opinions about how much the movie sucked in the comments!]
Aside from my own geek blogging, there are a TON of bloggers out there joining me in having a raging Star Wars hard on this week. To put it bluntly.
I'm going to try to track down all the posts I can find. If you have written on SW in the past week or so (or know someone who did), leave a link in the comments and then I'll add it to the post as soon as I can. My only rule is that I won't post links to anyone discussing Star Wars and today's politics, anyone comparing the movie to the war in Iraq or anyone who thinks we should boycott the movie because Lucas doesn't like Bush. I don't care.
Also note that I will be collecting blogger reviews of RotS as soon as they start coming in. Please email any review links to me as soon as you read them!
This list will keep growing, so keep checking back.
I'd say there's three levels of Star Wars fans. There's Level 1: the person who really enjoys the movies and can name all the main characters, but stops short of engaging in a discussion of whether or not Han shot first. A Level 2 fan (of which I would be one) has a more in-depth knowledge of the movie series; recognizes the Star Wars world as one of fantasy but often discusses aspects of it as if it were real; owns action figures, but realizes that Peter Mayhew is not really a Wookiee and wouldn't ask him to do a Wookiee yell if they ever met him. Then there's Level 3. That's the guy who will wait on line months in advance of the premeire of a new SW movie. At the wrong theater. And demand that Lucas show the film in the theater he's on line at. A Level 3 lives in a world inhabited by people who are one light saber duel away from never coming back to this side of reality. He or she is the person who dresses their dog in a Vader costume or names their son Luke Skywalker.
I admit that I have at some points I have flaunted my Level 2 credentials with reckless abandon and come very, very close to a beginner stage Level 3. Yes, I stood outside Toys R Us waiting for a new shipment of figures to come in. Yes, I had a life size cut-out of Boba Fett in my house for way too long. Yes, I've had discussions that make me seem a bit out there. And so what if tasted Yoda cereal or sent away for a glow-in-the-dark Kenobi or cried tears of joy when, in 1997, I found a Darth Vader action figure carrying case at a garage sale for two dollars? I'll tell you what I've never done. I never ate Lava Berry Explosion Pop Tarts just because they have Vader's face on the box. Ok, I bought them. And I opened them. And I was actually going to take a bite until I realized they look like they are filled with the blood of rebel peasants and coated with actual lava. So while I purchased them and looked at them and even smelled them, I never actually ate them, which I think saves me from crossing over into Level 3-dom. Because that's the difference between a 2 and 3. A Level 3 fan would eat the Pop Tarts anyhow, no matter how bad they looked or smelled or tasted, because they are compelled by the voices in their heads (most of which sound just like James Earl Jones) to do such things.
I have no such voices. I draw the line at certain places. I will not subject myself to ridicule in the name of a movie franchise. I will not (even though I said I would) make a stormtrooper costume for myself. I will not attempt to try a Darth Dew Slurpee (I leave that to the experts). And I will stop having those dreams about Boba Fett. I don't know the dimensions of Tatooine or how much fuel it takes to fly an X-Wing and sometimes the entire Star Wars family tree confuses me so, even if I aspired to be one, I could never be a Level 3. My mind automatically rejects any further knowledge of the Star Wars universe because it knows. It has a warning system that tries to keep me in check. That's the difference between a 2 and 3 - a working mind. Sanity!
Ok, maybe I'll get these Dark Side checks. When my Batman checks run out, that is. And this would look nice in my living room. Did someone say they had a link to a Leia slave girl costume? I could probably get something together in a few days, if I.......
Danger! Danger! Approaching Level 3! Step away from the $120 lightsaber!
first, I promise it will not be all Star Wars, all day today.
Here's how I know I have a problem. I hate Burger King. Loathe the food, despise the creepy King commercials, want to throw a broken bottle at Hootie's head. Yet there I was last night, idling at the drive-thru while I tried to get the person who apparently didn't speak/understand English to tell me what toys they had in stock. Finally, I just asked for all of them. All. Of. Them. I annunciated loudly, the way you do when you think someone can't understand you and somehow saying it louder will help. And, of course, he didn't understand me because when I got home and looked in the bags, the order was all messed up. I ended up eating ice cream for dinner. Which was fine, because I had my little toys to play with.
Anyhow, I'd like to apologize for the general suckiness of this blog lately. It's hard to be creative when your head is full of snot and you're being attacked by an angry mob of pollen. This morning seems to be no different, so I'm just going to offer up a timely repeat, which happens to be my most requested repeat/link ever (yes, I take requests). I don't think there's a person who reads this blog today that hasn't seen this one already, but filler is filler and on-topic filler is better.
Every family has those special sayings. The ones that only the people in their family know the meaning of, usually related to some inside joke or a story that is the family's version of an urban legend.
Yes, we have them. We have several, actually, but this is my most often used saying and my favorite just for the looks I get from other people when I say it.
When DJ turned four (you just knew this would have something to do with DJ, didn't you?) he was a Star Wars freak of the highest order. Ok, we all were. For his birthday that year, he got a whole batch of Star Wars toys, including this humongous replica of the Millennium Falcon, complete with flashing lights and sound effects. He enjoyed this present immensely, often playing with it for hours at a time. He would sometimes take his figures from other toy sets - knights and pirates and cowboys - and put them in the Millennium Falcon. He would then have Han Solo boss them around. It was fun to watch.
So one day I go in his bedroom and I notice a strange odor. I can't quite put my finger on what it is, and I start looking around the room for moldy food or drink cups or small, dead animals. Finally, I pinpoint where the smell is coming from. The Millennium Falcon. I look into it, and see that a small flood has invaded its interior. Han Solo and Pocahantas are floating together in a stream of.....of....what's that? Piss?? Piss in the Millennium Falcon? I went ballistic. I screamed and yelled and acted sufficiently horrified, all the while fighting the urge to let out this maniacal laugh. The laughter that comes from witnessing the absurd.
DJ stood there watching me, a small grin playing around the corners of his mouth. He wanted to smile. He wanted to laugh. Hell, he wanted to do a jiggy dance right there because his little antic served its purpose. He wanted a reaction. He got it. I didn't really know what else to say at the point. So I put my hand on my hip and pointed sternly at him. "Young man," I said. "You do not pee in the Millennium Falcon!" He nodded his head in agreement, still stifling that laugh. I made him take the offending toy outside, hose it down and the throw it in the garbage can. Which, of course, made him cry and realize the gravity of his action.
A couple of days later, we are in Chucky Cheese’s. They have one of those big, winding tunnels that the kids can crawl through and torment each other. It's suspended about 8 feet above the rest of the play area and it's basically impossible to get to the kids when you want to leave. The kids know this. I read my kids the riot act before they go to play. Coming here is a privilege, I explain. When I say it's time to go, we go. So an hour later it's time to go and they look down at me from the opaque orange tube of kiddie hell and stick their tongues out at me. I go to the end of the tube and yell at them. They laugh. I say something about taking good things for granted. They laugh. I then yell "Do not pee in the Millennium Falcon!" Heads turn, the place goes quiet. Everyone is staring. Two seconds later, the kids are down the slide and in their coats. They knew what I meant.
The phrase has found its place in the twisted lingo of our family. We use it at opportune moments, in our home and in public, and it always makes its point and gets the job done.
Do not pee in the Millennium Falcon. Our family's golden rule.
Through the power of Total Fark (thank you, Jay) you can listen to five vintage Star Wars radio ads.
These are awesome. Cheesy, yet awesome.
Don't be startled...it's only the sand people.
All the radio spots have been moved to one page - here.
Stop emailing me the stories about the politics of Revenge of the Sith. Just. Stop. I don't care. Not one damn iota.
Also, stop sending emails with links to poor reviews, especially if your mail contains something like "Hahahah told you it was the sux0rz!" Don't be such a dick all your life, k?
Seriously, people. What is it about non-Star Wars fans that make them want to ride the fans so hard? Do you really think you are superior to us because you don't care? Is Star Wars aloofness the new hip?
I've got my tickets and I am psyched. And if you don't want to read a whole bunch of content about the Star Wars universe and the movies and everything that comes with it, I suggest you don't hang around here for the rest of the week. Especially if you're just going to litter the place with comments like "It's going to SUCK!" or "If you give Lucas your money, you hate America!"
Talk about getting a life. I just don't understand people - and this has to do with Star Wars as much as sports or music or something as simple as knitting - who feel the need to spend their time ridiculing not so much the things other people like (because we all do that) but ridiculing the people who like them. There is a difference.
Now, to go find the proper materials to make this.
Sure, I may be a little short for a Stormtrooper. But I make up for it with other assetts!
And, as I was writing this, I noticed that Will Collier is clearly on the same page.
Hey, if you've written something about Star Wars, let me know. Maybe I'll do up a Carnival of the Force.
Friday, May 20, 7:15
Two. One for me, one for DJ - the only other person in this family with good sense.
It's like waiting for Christmas.
How Stuff Works: Lightsabers. Gosh, I love the internet.
Yes, that's right. I asked for a lightsaber for my birthday.
Family? You hear that? You could all chip in. Just look what you can do with it! It..it...glows! Yea, I know it would be more fitting for me to have the Vader edition, but I just like the blueness of Luke's. Besides, when it's late at night and I'm practicing my mad lightsaber skills in the living room, it would be far better for my neighbors to see the soft blue glow in the window rather than the harsh red light, which might make some of them think I'm changing my name to Roxanne.
I got my tax return check this week. I put aside some of the money to spend on myself. I was thinking a PSP. Maybe some nifty patio furniture. Or a new grill. Or perhaps I would be really nice and buy my kids tickets to Warped Tour. Or buy my husband a super special birthday present, like his own PSP or a new light box. But wouldn't my hard earned tax money be better spent on...me? Will this lightsaber make me happy? Bring me hours of joy? Make me feel special? Can I cuddle it after I use it?
I mean...yea. It's a nice toy. And I want it.
Oh god. How many days away am I from buying a costume?
Harry Knowles explains why I am so eagerly awaiting Revenge of the Sith:
The imagery in REVENGE OF THE SITH -- The turning of Anakin, the annihilation of the Jedi, the expulsion of Yoda, Obi-Wan vs Anakin, Palpatine revealed, the birth of the twins, Alderran, the adoption of Luke, what became of the droids… These are all near religious iconography in the minds of children raised in the ways of the Force. I’ve spent a quarter of a century discussing these things, speculating on what it’d look like, how it’d play out… I’ve seen it in countless dreams, but never with my eyes open. Never George’s dream of what it was. Till now.
Like Knowles mentions later on, it's about closure. It's about making the connection between III and IV, about tying everything together, about making the stories complete. To some people, the worlds and characters of Star Wars are just fiction but, to some of us, they have become more - they've become part of our lives. In the same way Narnia or the world of Lyra Belacqua really do exist in my mind, so do Hoth and Tatooine.
When I finish a wonderful book, I find myself thinking days and weeks and sometimes even months later what happens to the characters after the last page is turned. I think about their lives after the book, after the author has put the pen down and closed the chapter on those people, so to speak.
With the Star Wars world, I alway wanted to know what happened before the stories I knew. Not so much the stories of episodes I and II, but this new one in particular; the final actions that led us to the opening scene of Episode IV, where the title scroll ends and that huge ship enters the screen and then gets bigger and bigger and the first time you see it you think, geez that thing is awesome, and by the time the last scene of Jedi plays out, and it's all over, well, I didn't want to know what became of them after that. I wanted to know what happened previously. I wanted to see all the things Knowles mentions above.
And now, I finally get my chance. It's like putting the last piece in a puzzle twenty-eight years after you started it. (just a note - I wrote that before I read through the whole Knowles review, not knowing he made the same analogy)
The most shocking or surprising emotion I felt during this film experience is that… I don’t want Anakin to become Darth Vader.
Knowing what happens next, after RotS, I imagine there will be so many moments when I'll do the equivalent of the horror movie thing - don't open that door! - but unlike a simple horror movie, I know what's going to happen. I know Anakin will "open that door" because I know what comes after, yet I imagine I'll still be upset to see it played out.
I always take every Knowles review with a grain of salt. He's the Drudge of movie reviews, with his supersized font and grandiose way of presenting things that are otherwise mundane. Of course he's going to gush over RotS, I expected nothing less. But it's not the review itself that is making me anticipate this movie more than ever; it's that Knowles knows what I know, feels what I feel, is experiencing something that every Star Wars geek - from the guy who stands on line for 40 days in a Vader costume to someone like my son, who discovered the films later on and can't name all the planets and creatures but still has this passion for the story - is going to experience; the closure we have been waiting for, the final piece of the puzzle, and then, probably, a very melancholy sort of sadness, the same that happens when you turn the last page on a book you didn't want to end, when summer ends, when friends move away and you realize you're never going to see them again.
Yes, it's only movies. It's only make believe. But these are stories and characters that have been part of my life, part of my vernacular for 28 years. This is going to be so bittersweet in a way, not just because of the ending of the Star Wars movies but because I know what's going to happen in this movie, I know how things are going to turn, how they are going to go bad, and while I can't wait for that clank sound in my head, when it will be like two train cars hooking together, when everything makes sense and one film flows into the other, it will be both satisfying and sad.
[Thanks to Sol for the link]
Happy Star Wars Day!
It's May 4th.
In preparation for Revenge of the Sith, I watched the first three (meaning first three released) Star Wars movie over the past week. It's almost unnerving how I've come back full circle to immersing myself in my Star Wars geekiness - something that left me years ago. I thought it had gone from my system, really. But I can see now that it never really leaves you. It may lie dormant, but it never leaves.
I'm not one of those full fledged Star Wars geeks that will dress in costume to go to a premiere or memorize the genealogy chart of every major - and minor- character to appear in the movies, books and comics. I am, however, enough of a geek to have long, drawn out conversations about the Star Wars world which, to outsiders listening in, would sound as if we were talking about, you know, reality. Think Randal and Dante.
One such conversation I had yesterday is one I've had a thousand times at least since I first saw Episode IV. It's something that has bothered me all these years and will continue to bother me each time I watch the movie.
Tell me something: how would you react if you watched your home planet blown to smithereeens right in front of you? Would you collapse in grief? Break down in uncontrollable sobs? Faint? Go deaf, dumb and blind from the horror of watching everyone you have ever known or loved be wiped out in milliseconds? Or would you gasp, let out a stifled cry and then, a short time later, engage in flirtatious banter with a rogue space captain?
I don't know why that has remained a sticking point with me, but it has. Oh, there are other things. I could go on and on about continuity and such, but I've learned it's better to keep those things to myself, lest I be told, once again, that I need to get a life.
Which brings me to today's lists.
Favorite Star Wars quotes (original trilogy edition, some of which are favorites because of the context)
Favorite Star Wars references from TV
Favorite pictures from the day I did the limbo with Darth Vader
Favorite lyrics involving Star Wars
Star Wars character I've had sexual fantasies about:
It's really not going to help lower my geekiness any when I do a video game list later.