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September 19, 2005

Listomatic: Sing a Song of Pirates

[Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day, scroll down for more piratey stuff]

Songs with Pirates in the title

  • Earlameyer The Butt Pirate - Bloodhound Gang
  • Gimme the Life of a Pirate - Olsen Twins
  • Last Saskatchewan Pirate - Arrogant Worms
  • The Pirates That Don't Do Anything - Relient K
  • Pirate Jenny - Nina Simone
  • A Pirate's Prayer - Zao
  • Europa and the Pirate Twins - Thomas Dolby
  • Pirate Looks at 40 - Jimmy Buffet
  • Pirate's Life - Vandals
  • Pirate Love - New York Dolls
  • Pirates - Emerson Lake & Palmer
  • Pirates - Tori Amos
  • Aquabats - Capt Hamton And His Midget Pirates

arrr.jpg

September 15, 2005

Listomatic: pizza flavored pizza

Foods that are ok for pizza toppings:

  • Pepperoni
  • Sausage
  • Ground beef
  • Onions
  • Green peppers
  • Black olives
  • Mushrooms
  • Salami
  • Bacon
  • Garlic
  • fresh tomatoes

Foods that are NOT pizza toppings

  • pineapple
  • eggs
  • pasta of any kind
  • ranch dressing
  • carrots
  • potatoes in any form
  • lettuce
  • barecue sauce
  • tuna

August 18, 2005

Worst Bands Ever: My List [updated]

[See post below for reference]

  • AC/DC (Yea, they rock out. I even like a lot of their songs. But they were completely talentless. Every song has the same. )
  • The Eagles (sorry, I just find them insipid, bland and dull)
  • Fleetwood Mac (see above)
  • Creed (Maybe if Stapp didn't have the Jesus Christ Pose all the time, I wouldn't care so much as to put them on the list)
  • King Diamond (No presents for Christmas and One Down, One to Go notwithstanding)
  • Dream Theater (talented musicians? Hell, yes? Boring and pretentious? Hell, yes)
  • Aerosmith (I fucking hate Aerosmith. That is all)
  • Kiss (Hey, I was a member of the Kiss army. They were my first live band. I still enjoy them once in a while. But they SUCK)

So much more to come, I'm sure. I'll update throughout the day, because I'm all about drinking the bad band Hatorade.

Update:

As if on cue, Collective Soul comes on my Launchcast station.

Oh, and Jefferson Starship.

HOLY SHIT HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN LIMP BIZKIT??

More: All I have to do is leave my LaunchCast running: EUROPE! Oh, and:

Mr. Big
Damn Yankees
Skid Row
Extreme

July 22, 2005

listomatic: And Where's Stile?

As I continue with the shoddy content (Headache From Hell, all freaking day), I give you: The Top Ten Web Fads of All Time

Their list (links at the link):

  • Hampsterdance
  • Mahir
  • All your base
  • Dancing Baby
  • Hot or Not
  • Friendster
  • Ellen Feiss
  • Star Wars Kid
  • Blogger
  • JibJab

I guess it depends on which part of the web you hang/hung out in if these fads mean anything to you. Of course, I have additions:

  • Stile Project (Oh come on, totally a FAD. Does anyone read him anymore?)
  • Fat Chicks in Party Hats
  • Tourist Guy
  • --- Ate My Balls
  • Flash Mobs
  • Bonsai Kitten
  • Tubgirl/goatse

I know you'll come up with your own.

July 20, 2005

Listomatic: Role Models Gone Bad

Via Stacy, EW counts down the ten worst movie role models. Here's the full list:

10. Willy Wonka
9. Dewey Finn (School of Rock)
8. Fagin (Oliver!)
7. Gloria Swenson (Gloria)
6. Moses Pray (Paper Moon)
5. Coach Buttermaker (Bad News Bears)
4. Leon (Leon/The Professional)
3. Roger Swanson (Roger Dodger)
2. Hattie (Pretty Baby)
1. Willie (Bad Santa)

First of all - What the hell is Roger Dodger? Not only have I never seen it, I never even heard of it.

Anyhow, I can't complain too much about the list (especially the top choice), though there are some noteable absences.

But I'm going to leave that up to you.

July 19, 2005

listomatic: SCOTUS rumors [updated]

We're down to this:

* Edith Bunker
* Weird Al
* Dick Cheney
* Bjork
* Eugene Volokh in a write-in vote

Place your bets.

Well, that's over. He went with Eric Roberts. Shitty actor, but probably doesn't want to steal your uterus.

/painkillers, as way of explanation

June 28, 2005

Listomatic: Standing the Test of Time [Updated]

Over at Comedy Central, Joel Stein has two lists: Five '80s Stupid Guy Comedies That Hold Up and Five That Don't.

I'm not sure what Joel means by "stupid guy" comedies. Is he referring to the fact that stupid guys watch them, that there are stupid guys in them or that....ah, here:

The worst part is when guys force loved ones to watch their favorite old movies. And for our generation, that means '80s comedies. While that sounds tough, remember that our grandmothers had to sit through Gene Autry films....So which dumb guy comedies can you subject women and children to safely?

He never really defines what a "stupid guy" movie is, does he? He goes on later to say that John Hughes movies that don't star John Candy or Chevy Chase don't fit the bill and I'm beginning to think that Joel makes shit up as he goes along.

If Mr. Stein thinks that the movies he listed are guy movies, then he knows very, very little about women, especially women who did any part of their growing up in the 80's. Judging from this, Stein probably thinks that only guys laugh at fart jokes. I personally know this not to be true. But anyhow. The lists. We'll ignore Stein's need to bring gender into the mix, and we'll instead call our lists Five 80's movies that have held up over time and five that haven't. Because here at ASV, we ALL think Airplane! is funny.

The first list is hard, because there are so many, and I going to include Hughes movies, because I am not Joel Stein.

  • Better off Dead
  • Sixteen Candles
  • Airplane!
  • Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
  • This is Spinal Tap

Honorable mentions: Ghostbusters, Coming to America, Heathers, Fletch and the ubiquitous many, many more!

Update: How could I forget UHF and Johnny Dangerously (fargin iceholes!)?

Five 80's comedies that DID NOT hold up over time (you had to have liked these movies at one point in order to qualify - don't just list movies you hate or never found funny)

  • Stripes (the movied dies as soon as they get the camper)
  • Animal House (oops, came out in 1978)
  • Bachelor Party (I watched this movie several times just because one of the characters wears a jacket with my hometown high school on it)
  • Ferris Bueller's Day Off
  • Porky's

Honorable mention: National Lampoon's Vacation, Pretty in Pink, One Crazy Summer, Back to School, Valley Girl, any Police Academy movie.

Update: Keiran is going to make me admit it. I tried to keep it a secret. Yes, I still laugh at Revenge of the Nerds. There. I said it.

Bonus update! Today is John Cusack's birthday! Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.

June 22, 2005

51-100 (in progress)

See here for explanation and 1-50.

51. San Dimas High School football rules
52. Alone, we can only move buckets. But if we work together, we can drain rivers.
53. I said, please don't kill me, freaky Jason.
54. Are you a Mexican or a Mexican't?
55. And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger!
56. I'm the ghost with the most, babe.
57. Do you have the Beatles White Album? Never mind, just bring me a cup of hot fat. And the head of Alfredo Garcia.
58. Take that dress off. I can see your dirty pillows.
59. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
60. Smile you son of a bitch!
61. Groovy.
62. Killer clowns, from outer space. Holy shit!
63. For those of you just joining us, today we're teaching poodles how to fly

Listomatic: Working Towards 100 Quotes [Updated]

See the rules and updates on the end of this post. I'm going to get to 100 today if it kills me. Which it may.

The question has arisen at to what makes a quote great. I would say that ....I don't know. If it's something you repeat over and over, if you laugh/cry every time you hear/say it, if you use it in everyday life, if it had some kind of huge impact in the way the plot played out, if people remember the movie specifically by that line....I don't know! It's all so personal and subjective. Just have fun, k?

This is my PERSONAL list of 100, in progress, and just for shits and giggles, I'm leaving off the movie so y'all can guess, but I'm guessing the guessing will be easy. I'm going to be adding/deleting/adding continuously all day until I get to 100. How long do you think it will take me? An hour? Seven hours? 22 minutes?

/caffeine overdose

Update: This picking ONE from each movie nonsense is hard. Who made these rules? Kill her!

  1. Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
  2. Lighten up, Francis
  3. Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.
  4. Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.
  5. Janet, you rock my world.
  6. Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
  7. I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.
  8. Always some white boy gotta invoke the holy trilogy
  9. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot.
  10. ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! DO. YOU.SPEAK. IT?
  11. Hi. How are you? My name's Elliot, and I'm with the Cub Scouts of America. We're... we're selling uncut cocaine to get to the jamboree.
  12. Death is... whimsical... today
  13. You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.
  14. Sorry about the mess
  15. Someone is either a smoker or a non-smoker, there's no in-between. The trick is to find out which one you are and be that.
  16. ...Now go away before I taunt you a second time
  17. We're going to Federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison!
  18. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die
  19. Don't be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Nazi Party!
  20. They're coming to get you, Barbara
  21. Excuse me while I whip this out
  22. I said good day.
  23. Do the chickens have large talons?
  24. Oh yeah, baby, you won't be able to shit right for a week!
  25. All we got on this team are a buncha Jews, spics, niggers, pansies, and a booger-eatin' moron!
  26. put ... the candle ... back
  27. Oh my God, the quarterback is toast
  28. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.
  29. I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
  30. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, "the Whale," they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime
  31. Shall we play a game?
  32. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.
  33. Spandex: it's a privilege, not a right.
  34. Fuck is the worst word that you
  35. Even the smallest person can change the course of the future
  36. Laugh it up, fuzzball.
  37. Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.
  38. The price is wrong, bitch
  39. So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social.
  40. They brought their fuckin' TOYS with 'em
  41. You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell.
  42. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever
  43. I'm a god. I'm not the God... I don't think.
  44. I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!
  45. All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.
  46. Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?
  47. I'm George, George McFly. I'm your density. I mean... your destiny.
  48. Mul-ti-pass
  49. ...I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?
  50. ..But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

(I screwed up the numbering on the Christmas Vacation quote, so I tacked it on the bottom so as not to screw up the rest of the numbering)

And I'm done for now, will pick up this evening.

AFI Movie Quote Tally/A Poll of Our Own

I didn't get to watch the show last night, but AFI has put up on their site the 100 movie quotes that made it their list of fame.

Here are the quotes you DIDN'T get (make sure you scroll down for the poll if you don't feel like readin through this list)

  • Here's looking at you, kid. CASABLANCA
  • Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night. ALL ABOUT EVE
  • Love means never having to say you're sorry. LOVE STORY
  • Made it, Ma! Top of the world! WHITE HEAT
  • Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. CASABLANCA
  • I am big! It's the pictures that got small. SUNSET BLVD.
  • I'm walking here! I'm walking here! MIDNIGHT COWBOY
  • After all, tomorrow is another day! GONE WITH THE WIND
  • I'll have what she's having. WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
  • Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.
    THE PRIDE OF THE YANKEES
  • If you build it, he will come. FIELD OF DREAMS
  • We rob banks. BONNIE AND CLYDE
  • Oh, Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars. NOW, VOYAGER
  • Shane. Shane. Come back! SHANE
  • Well, nobody's perfect. SOME LIKE IT HOT
  • It's alive! It's alive! FRANKENSTEIN
  • You had me at "hello." JERRY MAGUIRE
  • One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know. ANIMAL CRACKERS
  • La-dee-da, la-dee-da. ANNIE HALL
  • A boy's best friend is his mother. PSYCHO
  • Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. WALL STREET
  • Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. THE GODFATHER II
  • Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into! SONS OF THE DESERT
  • What a dump. BEYOND THE FOREST
  • Elementary, my dear Watson. THE ADVENTURES OF SHERLOCK HOLMES
  • Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape. PLANET OF THE APES
  • Is it safe? MARATHON MAN
  • Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't heard nothin' yet! THE JAZZ SINGER
  • No wire hangers, ever! MOMMIE DEAREST
  • Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico? LITTLE CAESAR
  • I have always depended on the kindness of strangers. A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE
  • ...I am serious…and don't call me Shirley. AIRPLANE!
  • Hello, gorgeous. FUNNY GIRL
  • Toga! Toga! NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE
  • Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make. DRACULA
  • My precious. THE LORD OF THE RINGS: TWO TOWERS
  • Attica! Attica! DOG DAY AFTERNOON
  • Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a star! 42ND STREET
  • ...I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go! ON GOLDEN POND
  • Tell 'em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper. KNUTE ROCKNE ALL AMERICAN
  • A martini. Shaken, not stirred. GOLDFINGER
  • Who's on first. THE NAUGHTY NINETIES
  • ...It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole! CADDYSHACK
  • Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death! AUNTIE MAME
  • I feel the need - the need for speed! TOP GUN
  • Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.
    DEAD POETS SOCIETY
  • Snap out of it! MOONSTRUCK
  • ..... And I thank you. YANKEE DOODLE DANDY

People! What happened? You got LESS THAN HALF!

Ok, I blame that on AFI. I never like their lists, anyhow.

And you know what happens when people make lists I don't agree with. Yep, I make my own. So while I come up with my 100 greatest movie quotes of all time, you can leave your suggestions here, much the same way I did with the 20 albums, the 500 songs, the best comedies, etc., etc. In fact, I'm going to do this differently: this will be a joint list. They have the AFI movie quotes, we'll have the ASV movie quotes (though I'll still try to come up with my own separate list). I'll take the top 100 and put them up on a separate page to save for posterity. Because some day, maybe 400 years from now, someone will find the list and use it to study the psychology of ancient human beings. Or not.

So, even though we've done this before, this time is for real because I'm keeping a tally. BEST movie quotes. Memorable, repeatable and recognizable. And, unlike the AFI list, naughty words are allowed.

Update: I would really, really like to try to limit movies to one quote per. That's not to say you can't nominate 132 quotes from the same movie, but I would prefe that only one of them eventually makes this list, meaning that 100 truly quotable movies will be represented.

June 14, 2005

listomatic: loud cheese

One thing I hate about summer is you drive with your windows open. And so does everyone else. Which means everyone can hear me singing (unlike winter, most of fall and parts of spring, where the window is closed and I can belt one out like a motherfucker without feeling chagrined about it).

Songs that should be too cheesy to sing out loud, in traffic, with your windows wide open, but I decided I don't give a rat's ass and all of freaking Nassau County is going to hear me sing whether they like it or not and the parts that I sing louder than the rest, for emphasis and extra embarassment:

  • Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar on Me (do you take sugar? one lump or two?)
  • Bon Jovi (I've seen a million faces an I've rocked them all!)
  • Journey - Don't Stop Believin' (It goes on and on and on and on)
  • Europe - The Final Countdown (the whole chorus)
  • House of Pain - Jump Around (word to your moms I came to drop bombs)
  • Blue Oyster Cult - Don't Fear the Reaper (just do all the background versers)
  • Poison - Talk Dirty to Me (CC, Pick up that guitar, and talk to me!)
  • Van Halen - Hot For Teacher (Class dismissed!)
  • Anything by Kiss - (pick a lyric, any lyric)
  • Judas Priest - Breakin' the Law (only because it's a Pavolovian reaction for me to do the Beavis and Butthead metal-sign-head-banging thing while saying breakinthelawbreakinthelaw)

I'll probably add more as I work my way through the iPod.

June 13, 2005

Music to Evade Zombies By

[First, I'm again going to direct you to 100 words. I really like my story today]

One of my missions as a Zombie Army member is to make a CD collection - a desert island disc list for people who are waiting for zombies to attack. Easy enough.

  • White Zombie - La Sexorcisto-Devil Music Vol. 1
  • Misfits - Walk Among Us
  • Coal Chamber - Coal Chamber
  • Type O Negative - Life is Killing Me
  • Cannibal Corpse - Eaten Back to Life
  • The Cure - Boys Don't Cry (I just threw that in there for the hell of it)

Ok, I need some help on this one. I get 250 "bones" if I fulfill this mission. I want to collect enough to get some neat zombie stuff. And not too much on the death metal, k? Be creative.

Update: I'll accept single songs, just because.

Listomatic: Zombie Movies

Favorite zombie movies, in no specific order:

  • Night of the Living Dead
  • Dawn of the Dead
  • Dawn of the Dead (2004) - yea, I liked it.
  • Day of the Dead
  • Return of the Living Dead
  • Shaun of the Dead
  • Dead Alive
  • Cemetery Man
  • Evil Dead Trilogy (some people question their zombie-ness, I don't)
  • Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things
  • Night of the Comet
  • Re-animator
  • Zombie
  • The Serpent and the Rainbow
  • Pet Sematary
  • White Zombie (a pioneer of zombie movies)
  • Chopper Chicks in Zombietown
    28 DAYS IS NOT A ZOMBIE MOVIE!!

June 11, 2005

listomatic: ATTACK!

Best movies about killer mutant animals/insects:

  • Food of the Gods
  • Night of the Lepus
  • Squirm
  • Empire of the Ants
  • Parasite in 3-D (with Demi Moore!)
  • Aracnophobia
  • Them!
  • Starship Troopers
  • Tremors
  • The Swarm
  • The Birds
  • Willard (the original)
  • Cujo
  • Mimic

It's Saturday. It's hot and muggy. I've got nothing else for ya.

June 10, 2005

listomatic: sporty movies

Best baseball movies:

  • Bad News Bears
  • Bad News Bears in Breaking Training
  • Bang the Drum Slowly (original)
  • The Natural
  • Bingo Long and the Traveling All Stars
  • Field of Dreams
  • Major League
  • The Sandlot
  • Long Gone (does anyone else remember this movie? This is when I discovered the sexiness that is Virginia Madsen)
  • Damn Yankees
  • Fear Strikes Out

And yes, Bull Durham is purposefully left off the list. I loathe that movie with an undescribable passion. And I thought Eight Men Out was boring.

Best Hockey Movies

  • Slapshot (best SPORTS movie ever)
  • Mighty Ducks (first only)
  • Mystery, Alaska
  • Miracle on Ice (the 1981 made for tv movie)

No, not Youngblood. And not that movie where the hockey player becomes a figure skater.

Best Football Movies

  • The Longest Yard (original)
  • North Dallas 40
  • Rudy
  • Lucas
  • Little Giants
  • Brian's Song (original only)
  • Jerry Maguire (Yea, I liked this movie)
  • Paper Lion
  • Jim Thorpe, All American (I watched this by accident one day and found it to be a really excellent movie)
  • Two Minute Warning (not about football, per se, but contains football)
  • Black Sunday (see note above)
  • Last Boy Scout (ditto)
  • All the Right Moves

Note: I didn't see Remember the Titans, and I didn't like Any Given Sunday or The Replacements.

Best Basketball Movies

  • Hoosiers
  • Basketball Diaries
  • The Air Up There
  • Fast Break (dude, it's got GABE KAPLAN!)
  • Teen Wolf
  • Finding Forrester
  • Air Bud (yea, that's right. Air Fucking Bud)
  • One on One (two words: Robby. Benson.)
  • Baseketball. Of course.

Ok, I haven't seen a lot of basketball movies.

Best Soccer movies:

  • The Big Green
  • That one with Stallone and the jail
  • Shaolin Soccer
  • Bend it like Beckham

I'm not going to do a list for arm-wrestling, but if I did, you know what the only movie on that list would be. I don't want to embarass myself by mentioning how much I love that piece of crap.

Ok, that's it. Add your own.

June 08, 2005

listomatic: little drummer boy

Happy birthday to Alex Van Halen.

In his honor, great rock drummers, in no particular order:

  • Keith Moon
  • Dave Grohl
  • Neil Peart
  • John Bonham
  • Bill Bruford
  • Mike Portnoy
  • Bill Ward
  • Ginger Baker
  • Dave Lombardo
  • And duh, yea. Mike Bordin

Add on, per usual.

Also, I'm not a big fan of drum solos (whenever I think drum solo, I think "Moby Dick....dick...dick..." and I promptly fall asleep) but I wouldn't be opposed to you listing your favorite solos in the comments.

June 07, 2005

listomatic: where all the women at?

I don't know if he was trying to prove a point or start an argument, but my husband opened up a whole can of nasty worms when he posed these questions to me yesterday:

Who is your favorite actress? Female comedian? Female singer?

Uhhh...I stammered a bit, thought about it and said I'd get back to him.

I think I'm a misogynist. Or sexist at the very least.

I came up with a blank on actresses. And every actress I did come up with came to mind solely because she's hot. There's just not a female actor that lights my fire - in a talent way - that some males do. For instance, I love Gary Oldman. I like his acting so much that I collect his movies, even the crappy ones. There is no female equivalent of that, no one I would make a collection for.

Don't even get me started on female comedians. I wrote about this once already and I'm not picking that argument up again.

Singers? Perhaps I can come up with a list for that category.

Female Singers I've Known and Loved (not intimately, of coursem though in some cases the thought crossed my mind)

  • Beth Gibbons (Portishead)
  • Ani DiFranco
  • PJ Harvey
  • Janis Joplin
  • Exene Cervenka (X)
  • Karyn Crisis
  • Sade
  • Petula Clark
  • Sarah McLachlan (Just on Surfacing and Fumbling Towards Ecstasy)
  • Kim Deal
  • Dusty Springfield
  • Niko Case
  • Lita Ford
  • Chrissie Hynde
  • Cherrie Currie
  • Debbie Harry
  • Joan Jett
  • Glady Knight
  • Billie Holiday
  • Pat Benatar
  • Theo (Lunachicks)
  • Patti Smith

Ok, I knew I could do it! I know I missed some, feel free to add.

I'm going to next try to make a list of actresses who may not be my favorite actors ever, but whose work I enjoyed in one film or another.

June 02, 2005

Listomatic: apocalypse then

The best post-apocalyptic movies, in no specific order (and this is one where I am looking for good additions, I've been meaning to build this list for a while):

  • Mad Max
  • Escape from New York
  • 12 Monkeys
  • Road Warrior
  • Six String Samurai
  • Logan's Run
  • Dawn of the Dead
  • Akira
  • City of Lost Children
  • Soylent Green
  • Red Dawn
  • Death Race 2000
  • A Boy and His Dog
  • Night of the Comet

Added:

  • The Matrix
  • Maximum Overdrive (WE MADE YOU!!)
  • Fist of the North Star (as noted in the comments, the anime)
  • Planet of the Apes (duh, can't believe that wasn't first out of my brain)

----
Listed, but not recommended:

  • The Postman
  • Waterworld
  • Tank Girl
  • 28 Days Later
  • Reign of Fire

listomatic: Spacy!

Best space related movies that aren't Star Wars or Star Trek, in no particular order:

  • Event Horizon (It's an evil, evil movie but it's good)
  • Alien
  • October Sky
  • Fifth Element
  • Men in Black
  • Galaxy Quest
  • Armageddon (shut UP)
  • Forbidden Planet
  • Apollo 13
  • Enemy Mine
  • Starship Troopers
  • Independence Day
  • Close Encounters
  • ET
  • The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
  • Brother From Another Planet
  • The Day the Earth Stood Still
  • Hangar 18
  • The Last Starfighter
  • Space Truckers
  • Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
  • Total Recall
  • Transformers, The Movie
  • Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, The Movie
  • 2001
  • Killer Klowns From Outer Space (yes, really. I own the DVD and watch it often)

Added
* Planet of the Apes (original only!)
* Blade Runner

I know I left some out and I'm sure you'll let me know which ones.

Update: We've already had the Starship Troopers discussion on this blog. I stand steadfast in my defense of the movie. No, it's not comparable to the book, but I loved it as a cheesy sci-fi flick.

May 31, 2005

Listomatic/Ordering - Stephen King Edition [Updated]

Stephen King books I've read, in order of preference from best to worst, not including collections, short stories (that's another list), The Green Mile series or the Dark Tower series or screenplays. So..novels

  • The Talisman
  • Eyes of the Dragon
  • The Stand
  • It
  • The Shining
  • Black House
  • 'Salem's Lot
  • The Dead Zone
  • The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon (1999)
  • Insomnia
  • Christine
  • Carrie
  • Cujo
  • Firestarter
  • Misery
  • Pet Sematary
  • Dolores Clairborne
  • From a Buick 8
  • The Dark Half
  • Needful Things
  • Gerald's Game
  • The Regulators
  • The Tommyknockers
  • Desperation
  • Dreamcatcher

I want to do an ordered list of Stephen King books made into movies, but I need a definitive list...anyone?

Favorite SK short stories that I can think of off the top of my head, but not in order

Continue reading "Listomatic/Ordering - Stephen King Edition [Updated]" »

Listomatic: Booklisting [Updated]

First things first - a new day, a new theme over at Les Nessman. I'm not that happy with today's story, but there it is. And always be sure to read the comments. Some of our readers' stories are really spectacular.

I missed Monday is List Day at ASV yesterday due to the holiday, so I'll move it on over here to Tuesday. Which works out well, seeing as that a Tuesday morning after a three day weekend is a hellish time to come up with original content.

So I'm going to finally do the book list thing I promised. Except I'm swamped at work, so I'm only offering blank lists for you to fill in. I'll make my lists later on, though I included a few to start you off. I'll add more as soon as the monkey lets go of my chain.

We'll start with these:

Continue reading "Listomatic: Booklisting [Updated]" »

May 27, 2005

listomatic: summer songs

[Not just songs ABOUT summer, but songs that remind you of certain summers or songs that are perfect for a fast drive to the beach]

  • Dirty Black Summer - Danzig
  • Summertime - Sublime
  • You're My Everything- Andy Gibb (because I got really sunburned one year while I was listening to this song on cassette over and over again while lounging in the pool)
  • Ice Cream Man - Van Halen
  • I Go Swimming - Peter Gabriel
  • Synchronicity - The Police (Summer of '83 - I could write a novel about that one)
  • Do You Feel Like We Do - Peter Frampton
  • Fourth of July - Soundgarden
  • Hotel California - Eagles (I hate this song, but it always reminds me of sticky, hot and humid summer days)
  • Guns n Roses - Mr. Brownstone (oh man, that day the soda exploded in my car....)
  • Bananarama - Cruel Summer
  • Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult (this was a favorite night cruising song)
  • Afternoon Delight - Starland Vocal Band
  • Beach Baby - Beach Boys
  • More than a Feeling - Boston (left the 8 track out in the summer sun)
  • Air Conditioned Nightmare - Mr. Bungle
  • Surf Wax America - Weezer
  • Be Quiet and Drive - Deftones
  • Brand New - Soco Amaretto Lime
  • Rock This Town - Stray Cats
  • Love Shack - B52s
  • Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes
  • Jessica - Allman Brothers (I don't think there is a song that exists that says "summer" to me more than this one)
  • Swing, Swing - All American Rejects
  • Rockaway Beach - Ramones

And, yes -

  • Freebird - Lynyrd Skynyrd (the soundtrack to at least two summers of my life)

There's so much more, but lunch hour calls and I'm sure you all will fill in the blanks with your favorites.

May 23, 2005

The Definitive, Never Snobby, Unpretentious, Ridiclule-Ready ASV 100 Movies of All Time list

In reference to the post below.

NOTE: IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
Also: Subject to change as I may delete some to make room for sudden, inspiring choices.

  1. Empire Strikes Back
  2. The Big Lebowski
  3. Spirited Away
  4. Shaun of the Dead
  5. Fantasia
  6. The Phantom Tollbooth
  7. Army of Darkness
  8. Cemetery Man
  9. Battle Royale
  10. 12 Monkeys
  11. Se7en
  12. Fifth Element
  13. True Romance
  14. Suicide Kings
  15. Leon
  16. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
  17. The Sting
  18. River's Edge
  19. Legend of Billie Jean
  20. Star Wars
  21. The Godfather
  22. The Fly (original!)
  23. Road Warrior
  24. Aladdin
  25. West Side Story
  26. Airplane!
  27. Slapshot
  28. Apocalypse Now
  29. Back to the Future
  30. Winged Migration
  31. Fog of War
  32. Lost in LaMancha
  33. Serpico
  34. Akira
  35. Guys and Dolls
  36. Snoopy, Come Home
  37. Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring
  38. Bad News Bears
  39. Interstate 60
  40. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
  41. Jaws
  42. Boondock Saints
  43. The Last Waltz
  44. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
  45. Super Troopers
  46. Ghost Dog
  47. Raising Arizona
  48. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie
  49. Toy Story
  50. A Christmas Story

Continue reading "The Definitive, Never Snobby, Unpretentious, Ridiclule-Ready ASV 100 Movies of All Time list" »

Listomatic: TIME's movie list, two dicks and a drunken master

[Note: If you are looking for my review of RotS, which apparently people are, it's here]

So TIME Magazine, not to be outdone by every other list making magazine, came out with its own list of ALL-TIME 100 MOVIES as chosen by critics Richard Corliss and Richard Schickel. I'm thinking the list was originally just called Time's Greatest Movies, but they added on the author credit blurb after they saw the final list, so no one would think that this list somehow belonged to TIME as a whole. They were distancing themselves from the two Dicks.

First of all, any time you have the word "critics" in a list title, you know it's going to be pretentious. "Reader's list" or "listener's list," while they may include such titles as Debbie Does Dallas or Freebird, respectively, at least will have a certain feel to them, like the compilation of titles could be kindred spirits with your very own list. But when you add movie critics to the mix - not critics in the sense that you and I (or even the people at Rotten Tomatoes) are, but critics in the sense of sense of this is my nose and I'm looking down it at you - you end up with a list that rivals ROLLING STONE's Albums of the Year list for sheer pretensiousness, snobbery and, in some cases, utter head scratching. It's as if some of these titles were thrown onto the list in an effort to keep people like me from calling the critics unrepentant twits. Let's have a look, shall we?

Complete list

First of all, I never heard of some of these movies. That doesn't, in and of itself, make the list good or bad. It just means that a) I don't get out enough or b) the critics thought the inclusion of obscure foreign films would make the list highbrow.

The usual suspects are present and accounted for: Godfather, Casablanca, Singing in the Rain, Some Like it Hot, E.T., Goodfellas...you know the drill.

No Seven Samurai. Star Wars, but not Empire Strikes Back. No Shawshank Redemption or even Fantasia.

Oh, I know. You make a list of 100 movies and see how hard it is to include all the great ones. That's what you're thinking. But let's see what IS included.

Drunken Master. The Fly (1986). Finding Nemo. FINDING NEMO? Yea, it was a good movie, but one of the best ever made? If they wanted to throw in some animation to appease the lovers of that genre, Toy Story, Spirited Away, The Incredibles...all better than Finding Nemo. And they count The Lord of the Rings (2001-03) as ONE movie! That's cheating.

I'm not saying these movies are bad. But how can you take seriously any list that has DRUNKEN MASTER as one of the 100 best films ever made? And am I the only person alive who hated Raging Bull? (OH, and remind me to tell you of the nightmare I had about a remake of Taxi Driver, starring Adam Sandler)

Ok, you know what this means. What happened when Rolling Stone came out with their list of 500 greatest songs ever and I took issue with the whole damn thing? That's right, I made my own.

Get ready for the ASV 100 Greatest Movies of All Time, coming soon to a blog post near you.

Meanwhile, I fully expect you to start picking apart TIME's list. Bonus: How many of the 100 movies on this list have you actually seen?

May 22, 2005

Listomatic: You got the peaches, I got the cream!

Ilyka asks:

What songs do you always, always leave playing (whether they're on .mp3, CD, or the radio)? What songs always sound good?

That's a tougher question than you think. Very often I'll make a mix CD of what I think are my favorite songs and I'll end up skipping quite a few of them because they don't sound right at the moment. I can't tell you how many times I skip over a Faith No More song on the iPod or turn a Nine Inch Nails song off the radio because it's not what I want to hear at that particular time, even though they are my favorite artists. So are there any songs that have such power, that I have such a strong reaction to that I can't turn it off no matter what my mood at the moment? Of course. But you'll be surprised at what they are.

  • Weezer's Only in Dreams. A beautiful, bittersweet, song that has never been the victim of my "next" button. From singing that line about crushing pretty toenails to the five minute instrumental ending, there's not a wasted second on this one.
  • The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony. This song always makes me feel like it's an incredible spring day and I can do anything I want if I just put my mind to it. It fills my soul with sunshine. It makes me want to kiss strangers and hug people I hate. I've never turned it off, even at the height of its popularity when it was on the radio a billion times a day.
  • Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar on Me. It's one of the stupidest songs ever written. The lyrics are inane and you could actually embarass yourself by singing "Do you take sugar? One lump or two?" out loud in your car, with the windows down. But you do it anyhow.
  • Down - Stone the Crow. Incredibly depressing, morose, etc. But what an awesome song to sing. When he says No matter how I try/No matter what I say/I'm blamed, I'm shamed, I'm judged unfairly, it's not hard to dredge up those feelings. Because we've all been there.

Which makes me think - why do I tend to gravitate towards all the songs that remind me of being depressed or at least make me feel depressed upon hearing them? I always go back to those tunes that remind me of the worst times of my life. Sometimes singing those tunes now makes me feel appreciative towards what I have now. And sometimes I just like to remember being a sad, black-wearing, poetry writing drama queen. I was emo before there was emo, baby. Anyhow, back to the list.

  • Taking Back Sunday - This Photograph is Proof. Just because I like to torture myself by trying to do both vocals.
  • Filter feat. Crystal Method - Trip Like I Do. Honestly, I don't know anyone who can turn this song off.
  • REO Speedwagon - Keep on Lovin' You. Oh come on. Don't look at me like that. See, I have this on my iPod as part of some 80's collection I own. And no matter who is in the car with me, this will invariably happen when the song comes up:

Passenger: WTF? REO Speedwagon?
Me: You should’ve seen by the look in my eyes, baby
Passenger: You've lost your mind, haven't you?
Me: Cause it was us baby, way before then
Passenger: Let me out of the car, man. I don't want to be seen with you.
(pause)
Passenger: When I said that I love you, I meant that I love you forever
Both: And I’m gonna keep on lovin you

  • Van Halen - Ice Cream Man. I sing this with all the David Lee Roth affectations. Better look out now though, Dave's got somethin' for you. Good time, good times.
  • Misfits - Where Eagles Dare. Besides the chorus (I ain't no god damn son of a bitch), there's that whole "an omelette of disease awaits your noontime meal" line that I never get tired of singing.
  • Stabbing Westward - Everything I Touch. My husband can't understand why I even have the Darkest Days CD on my iPod or why I have this song on so many mix CDs. It's depressing as hell on it's own, even without the personal hell story of my own that goes with it. I feel like I'm going to throw up my heart every single time I listen to it. Yet still I do. Go figure.
  • Nine Inch Nails - All the Love in the World. This is a new one for me. It's from the With Teeth album that I roundly panned and which is now growing on me, just like I said it would, especially this song.

I know there's a ton more, I'll probably add to them as the day goes on (in my attempt to stop blogging about you-know-what for even just one day).

May 20, 2005

listomatic: i'm so bad i should be in detention

Underrated Movie Bad Guys

  • Pyatt (Richard Bradford) in Legend of Billie Jean
  • Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg (Gary Oldman) in Fifth Element
  • Jafar (Jonathan Freeman) in Aladdin
  • Megatron (Frank Welker) in Transformers, The Movie
  • Stay-Puft Marshmellow Man (himself) in Ghostbusters
  • Biff (Thomas F. Wilson) in Back to the Future
  • Coach Roy Turner (Vic Morrow) in Bad News Bears
  • Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka) in Karate Kid
  • David Lo Pan (James Hong) in Big Trouble in Little China

May 17, 2005

listomatic: SEGA!

Favorite Sega Genesis games:

  • Sonic the Hedgehog
  • Sonic and Knuckles (playing as Knuckles)
  • Tiny Toons
  • Aladdin
  • Toejam and Earl
  • Earthworm Jim
  • Mutant League Hockey
  • Doctor Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine
  • Road Rash
  • Castlevania Bloodlines
  • EA NHL Series
  • Mickey Mouse Castle of Illusion (Do NOT laugh. That game ruled).

listomatic: new wave

Best new wave songs (a very incomplete list):

[by best, I mean the songs that made me get off my ass and dance instead of sitting there in the club looking all glum and goth and apathetic]

  • Depeche Mode - Just Can't Get Enough
  • Flock Of Seagulls - Telecommunication
  • Flash & The Pan - Hey, St. Peter
  • Jam - Start!
  • Motors - Love and Lonliness
  • Plimsouls - A Million Miles Away
  • Squeeze - Up The Junction
  • Naked Eyes - Always Something There to Remind Me
  • The Cure - Why Can't I Be You
  • Haircut 100 - Favourite Shirt
  • Reflex - Politics of Dancing
  • Heaven 17 - Let Me Go
  • Jona Lewie- (You’ll Always Find Me In The) Kitchen At Parties
  • Peter Godwin - Images of Heaven
  • Pete Shelley - Homosapien
  • Q-Feel - Dancing in Heaven
  • Polecats - Make A Circuit With Me
  • Tim Scott - Swear
  • Plastic Bertrand - Ca Plane Pour Moi
  • Blancmange - Living on the Ceiling
  • APB - One Day
  • Shriekback - Nemesis
  • Ministry - I Wanted to Tell Her

I can tell you, from memory, that when I danced to these songs I was mostly likely wearing a black/cobalt blue miniskirt with some kind of shiny, pleather belt; torn, black stockings; a punk rock band t-shirt, nearly ripped to shreds; spiked up hair. Shoes had been kicked off much earlier in the night. Let's just say I'm glad no one ever thought of bringing a camera to Spit!, our new wave club of choice on Sundays, Mondays and Wednesdays (the other days it was a disco, Uncle Sam's). Huge dance floor, enormous bar - they also had a lot of shows there. I remember seeing Men at Work and Madness there. I'm sure there were others, maybe APB. Around this time I also saw U2 at a small night club on the island, and The Fixx at a roller rink!

May 11, 2005

listomatic: do you take sugar?

Lists are fun.

Ten most frequently played songs on my iPod in the last ten days, aka songs I've been obsessed with.

1. Via l'Viaquez - The Mars Volta
2. New American Classic - Taking Back Sunday
3. Helena - My Chemical Romance
4. Ain’t Talkin’ ’Bout Love - Van Halen
5. Pour Some Sugar on Me - Def Leppard
6. Simon Says - Drain STH
7. 5446 That's My Number/Ball And Chain - Sublime
8. I Hate Jimmy Page - Mindless Self Indulgence
9. Pattycake - Self
10. Love Dump - Static X

And one bonus song:

The Wizard - Black Sabbath

listomatic: drooool

Today just so happens to be Eat What You Want Day.

Presuming they mean Eat What You Want And Not Gain Any Weight Or Fat From It Or Have To Pay For It (just humor me here), then I'll have:

  • Steak, medium well, smothered in sauteed mushrooms and onions
  • A loaf of garlic bread. And not the kind you buy frozen and heat up. I want home made.
  • Two baked potatoes, smothered in butter and sour cream.
  • Two ears of Long Island corn, slathered in butter and salt.
  • A pound of bacon, deep fried.
  • Blueberry pancakes, made with fresh blueberries, not compote, and cooked inside the pancakes, not slopped on top. With butter and maple syrup, please.
  • Grilled swiss cheese with tomato on foccacia bread.
  • Bread pudding with bourbon sauce
  • A jar of Skippy creamy peanut butter. And spoon.
  • A gallon of coffee ice cream
  • Chicken Francese. I'll cook it, thanks. It's my specialty.
  • A bowl of seafood bisque
  • Lobster stuffed with crabmeat
  • A huge pot of mussels and clams, in broth made by my father
  • A bowl of Captain Crunch, a little on the soggy side
  • Grits with butter, cheese and salt
  • Biscuits with white gravy
  • Polenta
  • A dozen pierogies, sauteed with butter, onions and garlic
  • Outback Steakhouse cheese fries (two orders, please)
  • Two Arby's roast beef sandwiches
  • 1 Lb of pignoli cookies from Dortoni's Bakery in Levittown
  • 2lbs of mashed potatoes with garlic, sour cream and butter. Maybe some cheese.

That's it. For starters.

listomatic: --

Things to do when you have writer's block

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

May 10, 2005

listomatic: on this day edition

1954 - Rock Around the Clock was released

Other songs from 1954 I know all the words to

  • Oh! My Pa-Pa - Eddie Fisher
  • That's Amore - Dean Martin
  • Mambo Italiano - Rosemary Clooney
  • Mr. Sandman - Chordettes
  • Sh-Boom (Life Could Be a Dream) - Crew Cuts
  • Goodnight, Sweetheart, Goodnight - The McGuire Sisters

1960 - Bono was born

My favorite U2 songs:

  • Out of Control
  • Bad
  • Surrender
  • In God's Country
  • Bullet the Blue Sky
  • Helter Skelter, as peformed live at the Nassau Coliseum some time in the 80's, when I had 8th row tickets and before Bono annointed himself God.

In 1775, the Americans captured Fort Ticonderoga
Amazingly enough, previous mentions of Ticonderoga on this site:

1983, the last episode of Laverne & Shirley aired

My favorite L&S moments

  • When Laverne loses her job in the factory and has all kinds of adventures holding up gas stations to get the rent money
  • When Shirley finally gives Squiggy a pity fuck
  • When we find out exactly why they call Carmine The Big Ragoo
  • When Mr. Defazio installs the hidden camera in the girls' bathroom.
  • The naked lesbian mud wrestling episode

Happy May 10th.

May 09, 2005

monday is list day : Toys and games edition

Two weeks in a row makes it either a trend or a tradition. Today's theme is Childhood, aka Man, I'm feeling nostalgic today - or am I just so downtrodden with the aspect of everyday adult life that I'm feeling wistful? Inspired by Beth.

Best toys from my childhood:

Toys from my childhood that would cause caniptions today

Toy I'm suprised you can still get:

Your turn.

[If you have other toy topics you'd like added on to this list, just say the word - my brain is on auto pilot today and I could use all the help I can get. ]

Update:

Yep, I had a banana seat bike. It was pink with a white sparkly seat.
Funny story:

I got the bike on my Communion day. I wanted so badly to take it for a ride, but my mother said that I couldn't because I was still wearing my Communion dress and not only would I ruin the dress, but the neighbors would say "just look at that girl riding around on a bicycle in her dress, the horror!" Right, mom. Like anyone would care.

So when she wasn't looking, I took the bike for a spin. Sure enough, I came upon Mr. Bontempi, who shook a finger at me and said "look at you, riding around on a bicycle in your dress, you should be ashamed!"

Update again: Let me add Trouble, because someone brought it up in the comments. We had so much fun playing that game as a family - I can hear the plastic popping noise in my head right now - we used to do all kinds of weird good luck dances to try to get a 6. The best was landing on someone and sending them back home right when they had their fourth guy in front of home base.

I bought it for my own kids when they were much younger, but I hid it when they used the popper just to annoy each other.

May 08, 2005

listomatic: Word to Your Mother

mom22.jpg

My mother:

  • Dressed me funny
  • Never believed me when I said I was sick and couldn't go to school
  • Forced me to do chores on Saturday mornings when their were cartoons to be watched
  • Made me take my little sister with me everywhere I went
  • Can never, ever do you a favor without putting you through the ringer about it first
  • Always has to have the last word
  • Is a bit argumentive
  • Is a NAG to the extreme

But....

She:

  • Taught me that books are wonderful friends
  • Taught me how to play stickball
  • Nurtured my passion for music
  • Taught me the words to every Broadway musical
  • Makes the best chocolate egg creams
  • Gave me my passion for horror movies and sci-fi
  • Is a wonderful, caring grandmother
  • Is the youngest 65 year old woman I know
  • Loves Pink Floyd like no one else I know
  • Knows the power of a grilled cheese sandwich served with a bowl of soup
  • Is going to kill me when she finds out I put her picture here.

Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers, grandmothers, stepmothers, mothers-in-law, motherfu....eh, you get the meaning.

Also, a word to the wise, below.

Continue reading "listomatic: Word to Your Mother" »

May 07, 2005

Listomatic: Saturday is You Make the list day

Best air guitar songs.

The floor is yours.

May 06, 2005

listomatic: mother's day [updated]

Untitled

Added:
* "I mean, what's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?"
* Mamma always told me not to stare into the eyes of the sun
* Mamma mia, mamma mia, mamma mia let me go
* Whoa, mamma!
* Yo mamma
* Throw Momma From the Train

Added, from comments:

  • "Yippee kai yay, motherfucker"
  • Mama's got a squeeze box
  • "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!"
  • Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
  • Mommie Dearest
  • Your momma don't dance and your daddy don't rock-n-roll.
  • * Mama told me not to come

There are some in the comments that aren't conducive to list making (too long, too many, etc.).

[Italics are song lyrics, quotations are movie quotes. Feel free to guess]

Ok, gave up trying to keep up with the comments. I'm working, here.

I forgot the best one of all.

Momma Said Knock You Out

(thanks)

May 05, 2005

listomatic: Things you don't want to deal with at 7am

  • Two fraudulent uses of your debit/credit card on your checking account knowing that you are an unobservant idiot
  • One expected credit from a clothing store that hasn't appeared on your PayPal account though it was promised
  • One overcharge on your credit card that was supposed to be credited to your account by yesterday evening but wasn't
  • a child who suddenly remembers about that the project concerning a 3D replica of a Greek mythological event is due tomorrow, not next Friday.
  • Moralists (see comments)
  • This in your mailbox
  • The realization that you have a ZERO word count.

Too early for tequila?

By the way, DJ has chosen the myth of Daedalus & Icarus

May 04, 2005

listomatic: The People's Lists

[I had to get that sandwich picture off the top of the page. For some reason, it reminds me of a gaping vagina]

All list suggestions taken from here.

Guilty Pleasures:

  • American Idol
  • Hamburger Helper
  • Buffets
  • Dollar Stores
  • Lizzie McGuire
  • Killer Klowns From Outer Space
  • Bon Jovi

movies that seemingly everybody in the world has seen, except me

  • Titanic
  • Gone With The Wind
  • Mulholland Drive
  • Passion of the Christ

Best Instrumental rock/pop song

  • Faith No More - Woodpecker From Mars (which is also my name on TFark)
  • Green Onions - Booker T & The MGs
  • Frankenstein - Edgar Winter
  • Jessica - Allman Brothers Ban
  • One Of These Days - Pink Floyd
  • Freeway Jam - Jeff Beck
  • Any Colour You Like - Pink Floyd
Worst band image/gimmick
  • Masks/clown/painted faces:
    • Slipknot
    • Mudvayne
    • Mushroomhead
    • ICP
  • Kiss and Gwar get passes.

May 03, 2005

today's list: untitled

make up your own title

  • fatigue
  • scratchy throat
  • upset stomach
  • difficulty concentrating
  • pain in right ear,
  • vertigo
  • crankiness
  • that bloated feeling
  • irritability
  • tender, swollen boobies
  • craving for pringle's salt and vinegar potato chips
  • tense muscles
  • desire to throw stapler across room (alternated with)
  • crying jag while listening to a stabbing westward song

May 02, 2005

monday is list day at asv

"Guy" movies that I, a woman, love:

  • The Longest Yard (original)
  • Fight Club
  • Slapshot
  • Dirty Harry
  • Die Hard
  • Resevoir Dogs
  • Leon
  • The Big Lebowski
  • Pulp Fiction

"Chick flicks" that I, a chick, do not like

  • Pretty Woman
  • When Harry Met Sally
  • Sleepless in Seattle
  • Beaches
  • An Officer and a Gentleman
  • Dirty Dancing
  • Ghost
  • Pay it Forward

Movies that I, as a hardened, cynical, unfeeling, soulless person tend to break down in tears while watching:

  • Steel Magnolias
  • Armageddon
  • Legends of the Fall
  • Billy Elliot
  • Simon Birch
  • Edward Scissorhands
  • Kramer v. Kramer
  • Charlotte's Web
  • Leon
  • Philadelphia (added)
  • Brian's Song (added)

Alex was brave enough to make his lists. Where are yours?
Fred's got his lists up, too.
Lesley Jon plays along, too.
Physics Geek weights in.
And here's Darleen!
And Rob
Shelia joins in.

listomatic: funny movies and why you suck

I hate snobs. Is that snobby of me?

What I mean is I hate culture snobs. Yes, I've already written about this before, but sometimes something irks me enough to dredge it up again.

I get it that you don't like Family Guy. You think it's stupid. Immoral. Politically wrong. Idiotic. Whatever. But that does not make the people who like the show less intelligent than you. It doesn't make you somehow smarter to say things like "Oh, my. Your taste in television sure is stupid. Pardon me while I go watch Everybody Loves Raymond." Are you really so smug in your superiority that you judge a person's intellect or worth by their sense of humor?

I never liked I Love Lucy or The Three Stooges. But I don't look down my nose at the people who do, because I realize that humor is a subjective thing. Unlike, say, music, where your taste in such can come about because of life instances (you know, that music speaks to me!) or other genres of entertainment, where a taste for something is acquired rather than just..there. I believe (and of course, your mileage may vary) that your particular sense of humor - what you find funny - is something you are born with, like a distaste for spinach or an ability to draw. Sure, it can be nurtured - my father loved puns and one liners and peppered us with them when we were little, which made our enthusiasm for such jokes grow. But a person who doesn't like puns (like my mother, for instance) would never find them funny. No amount of cajoling can tickle someone's funny bone if the inherent sense of humor needed for that type of joke just isn't there.

Mocking people for their sense of humor - or looking down at them as if they were a species below you - is nothing more than cultural elitism. It's snobbery. It's like people who think that owning all the records on the High Fidelity soundtrack make them somehow hipper, cooler, more beautiful and smarter than you, or who think that devouring everything Dave Eggers writes make them a better all around person.

Stephen King? How pedestrian Oh my god, there's an Adam Sandler movie on your shelf, we must break up immediately! Oh, if only she had loved Bright Eyes the way I do, I wouldn't have had to kill her. Etcetera.

I mean, I'm not coming after you with a searing email because you didn't once laugh at the same show I did. And while I may have posted that I didn't find last night's Simpsons funny, I don't think you're an idiot if you did. In fact, I envy you. I wanted to laugh. Why must you attempt to suck the joy out of other people's lives by telling them that things that bring them joy suck?

You're not a better person for having not laughed at Family Guy and you're not smarter or healthier or prettier because you make fun of those who do laugh at such shows. In fact, it kind of makes you a jackass.

As an aside, I have to say that since I stopped political blogging, the quantity of negative emails have done down, but the quality has not change one bit, in much the same way some people think the quality of things have gone downhill here since that magical moment in my blogging timeline.

On that note, and keeping with the topic at hand (and because I love making lists), my all time favorite comedy movies, a list which may or may not prove me to be stupid, shallow, inane, juvenile, a cretin, a jerk or a LOSER (make "L" with fingers placed on forehead here) or may explain why I think an unexpected, yet playful, string of profanities on talk radio and a silly little prank type thing is funny but some people don't, to the extent that they act like someone pissed in their bath water. But that's just me. I think pissing in bathwater is hysterical.

  • Big Lebowski
  • Airplane
  • The Jerk
  • This is Spinal Tap
  • South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
  • Raising Arizona
  • It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
  • Office Space
  • Monty Python/Grail
  • Pee Wee's Big Adventure
  • Orgazmo
  • Mallrats
  • Young Frankenstein
  • Blazing Saddles
  • Nothing to Lose
  • History of the World Part I
  • Life of Brian
  • Friday
  • The Muppet Movie
  • Up in Smoke
  • A Fish Called Wanda
  • Fear of a Black Hat
  • Slapshot
  • Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
  • Quick Change
  • Army of Darkness
  • Christmas Vacation

Ok, that's all off the top of my head. I'm sure I left quite a few out, but the absence of any Woody Allen movies is not by accident, I assure you. Not my cup of tea. Neither is Adam Sandler, though I might update the list to include Happy Gilmore.

[Note, there are some movies which, although they are comedies by nature, would go on my "most enjoyable movies" list, though not on the funniest list, i.e, Clerks, Sixteen Candles, Trading Places, Groundhog Day]

Word of the day: SUBJECTIVE.