A Small Victory

The Ghost of Ed Whitson is gone. I am a happy Yankee fan. Other baseball news: Here's to a few less times I'll have to look at Nomar's face.

Posted by me at 09:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

The Kerry Hamster Dance. Courtesy of my crazy friend Faith.

Posted by me at 05:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (4)

12:15: Rip roaring fight with the daughter over the way she treats her brother when she has friends around. Only about the twentieth time we had this fight. Daughter, ever the one to get the last word in, seals her fate with "Holy geez, I said I'm sorry. My god." With a stamp of the foot, of course. Grounding ensues.
12:25: I go to my room to put away laundry.
12:30: Come out of room to discover daughter has gone "out." Where? DJ says she went to the store. I remind self that I just grounded her not fifteen minutes ago. Also take into consideration: No one is allowed to just go "out" without telling me or my husband where they are going and when they'll be back.
12:40: I decide to just wait it out and see if she comes back soon, figuring she went to visit her friend down the block to tell her what a horrible mother I am.
1:15: Call her cell phone. It's turned off. Now very pissed, I decide to see just how long she'll stay out. Proceed to clean the house.
2:15: Try her cell phone again. Still off. Drive past her friend's house, but no one is home. Small creep of panic sets in. Go home to see if she turns up or calls.
2:45: Try her other friend's house. She hasn't seen her.
3:00: Phone rings. It's the owner of the cell phone store a few blocks away. Someone found Nat's phone on the sidewalk and brought it into the store. The guy found the address book and called the "home" number. Go to store to get phone and start thinking all kinds of crazy things, incuding what a horrible mother I am to have sat there and not went looking for her right away.
3:10-3:30: Drive around looking for her. Stop at my mother's house and two friends' houses. At the second house, the mother says that Nat has been there for a while, but just left. Big sigh of relief, which gives way to renewed anger.
3:40: Find her a few blocks away, walking towards home. I say nothing as she gets in the car. Say nothing until we get in the driveway and then I let her have it. This exchange occurs:

Why did you go out of the house without asking me?
Because if I asked you if I could go, you would have said no.

You know the word flabbergasted? It was made for that moment.

New, firmer, longer grounding ensues, as do the tears. Yet absent in the tears and apologies for losing her week old cell phone is an understanding of what she has done wrong. Witness this question after we get in the house and I tell her to go to her room:

Does this mean I can't go out with Jen tonight?

Walk out of room. Go into office, close door, light cigarette and wonder who it was that told me all those years ago that teenage girls are a delight, a mother's best friend. Because I'd sure like to kick them in the teeth right now.

Posted by me at 04:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (37) | TrackBacks (1)

I've been on a non-fiction tear for at least six months now and I need some escapism. Good fiction is in order and I'm taking reading suggestions. I'm looking for something in the fantasy realm, but not sci-fi fantasy. As an example, I've read the His Dark Materials trilogy twice and I'd love to come across another story as compelling, well written and far away from reality as that. No romance, no murder mysteries, no alien invasions. I want something with magic, something fantastic, something that, for a few hours each evening, will take me away from Earth, 2004. Think a much darker Harry Potter. Sure, maybe I'm being to specific and/or picky. In that case, feel free to recommend anything else. I'd even go for some good (non-cheesy) horror. But I'd prefer something that a) will take me more than two days to read and b) stirs the imagination. I've got a Borders gift card that I want to use this afternoon. Thanks in advance. Update: I should have mentioned that I've read everything Neil Gaiman already. Update again: I read the Dark Company books and Snow Crash as well as a slew of the Discworld books. We're not going to Borders until tomorrow, so there's still time to give a suggestion. I'm leaning towards Roofworld at the moment, but I have enough to get more than one book.

Posted by me at 08:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (98) | TrackBacks (3)

[Via Ian and the Corner] [click for bigger] Translation of this Subway tray-liner that's out in Europe, via Southern Appeal:

HEAD: “Why are the Americans so fat?” Michael Moore quote: “The only time I have been scared for my life has been going through a McDonald’s drive-thru.” The New York Filmmaker Morgan Spurlock asked in Michael-Moore-style this profound question and lived on fast food in a self-experiment for 30 days of only products of the largest fast-food chain in the world. Astonishingly [the results]: 25 pounds more around the ribs, alarming liver count and blood count, which would alarm any doctor. In his top-Satire, which won the prize for best direction in Sundance 2004 for an outstanding film, Spurlock questions the responsibility of affiliated groups and consumers, the large amount of money that the “fast-food-culture” has made and the alternative – to make the heavy-weighted Americans again a healthier population. An ironic blow to the stomach - loaded with a lot of fat and facts about a questionable mega-industry. Super Size Me A true fat film by Morgan Spurlock…Now in theaters! Don’t care what you eat? Then do not allow yourself to miss this exciting and important Film about the dangers of poor nourishment – it will open your eyes!

Presented without commentary. I'm going to Quiznos.

Posted by me at 05:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (38) | TrackBacks (6)

Jose Contreras has furthered my theory that he is the Ed Whitson of 2004. "Sometimes, the game speeds up for him and his mind speeds up. When things start going badly, it gets out of control for him." Ed Whitson was booed out of New York. How long before someone buys Contreras a raft?

Posted by me at 02:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I got this list from al Jazeera, of all places. I know I saw it elsewhere this morning, but I couldn't find the link. This is what John Kerry promised the American people last night. My question is this: Can he keep all these promises without bankrupting the country?

-Invest in new technology and alternative fuels to lessen US dependence on foreign oil. - Make America "finally and forever" independent of Middle East oil. - Cut the US deficit in half over four years by ending corporate tax cuts, which he called "corporate welfare." - Offer targeted tax breaks for the middle class. - Roll back tax cuts granted by the Bush administration to people earning over $200,000 a year. - Close tax loopholes to companies moving jobs abroad and give breaks to firms keeping good-paying jobs at home. - Pledged not to privatise Social Security or to cut benefits. - Incentives to revitalise manufacturing and investment in technology and innovation. - Pledged that as commander-in-chief he would never lead the United States into a preemptive war, only sending troops to battle "a threat that was real and imminent." - Immediately reform intelligence gathering. - Rebuild alliances with other nations. - Ensure the United States would lead the global effort against nuclear proliferation. - Add 40,000 active duty troops. - Double the number of US special forces. - End the military's heavy reliance on National Guard and military reservists. - Immediately implement the recommendations of the September 11 commission. - Offer incentives that would save families $1,000 a year on health insurance costs. - Allow Americans to buy prescription drugs from countries like Canada, where they are often less expensive.

To quote BFT: bq. The numbers don't add up. You can't raise some taxes, transfer that money to other people through tax cut, spend more on healthcare, protect social security, increase military spending AND cut the deficit in half. In the immortal words of Fugazi, promises are shit. You can list a litany of sweet talking promises from now until November but you better be prepared to answer to the people who are taking those promises to the voting booth when you can't cash the checks your acceptance speech wrote.

Posted by me at 01:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (33)

As Alex Kerry told the poignant story of her dad saving her hamster, I thought to myself, gee, self. It's a good thing you're never going to run for President. Because what would your kids say about you in that situation?

I imagine a reporter saying to them, hey kids! Have any hamster stories to tell us? And they would tell this one (culled from the now defunct Rasing Hell archives)

The kid at the pet store swore that we were buying two male hamsters. So when they began retreating to a corner of the cage and performing nasty deeds with each other, we just shrugged and figured they were gay.

Kobe, the smaller of the two, gave birth this morning. So much for the “two males” theory.

Natalie and DJ were standing by the cage, watching Kobe run around while a tiny mutant looking thing dangled out of his backside. Akuma, the molester hamster, was trying to pull the mutant baby out.

Ok, the babies weren't exactly mutants but have you ever seen a newborn rodent? They look like miniature versions of ET. Anyhow, I grabbed Akuma out of the cage, put him in the attached cage, and took off the tube separating the two. Some maternal rodent instinct kicked in and I was sure that I was doing the proper thing. It just didn't look right for the father to be pulling the baby out with his teeth.

Natalie screamed. "SHE'S EATING THE BABIES! SHE'S EATING THE BABIES!"

Sure enough, Kobe was stuffing the mutants into her mouth like they were treats.

"Maybe she's just storing them in her cheeks so she can take them to the upstairs cubby," I said.
"Right, mom. She's chewing."
DJ was staring intently. "Do you think they taste good? I bet they're really nutritious."
"You want to try one?" I pretend to open the cage up.
"Ewwww mom! Hey, how come there's no blood or anything squirting out when she bites on them?"
"She's eating them whole."

They stare for a few minutes then a look of horror crosses DJ's face.

"Umm..mom? Weren't they from the same litter?
"Yea, why?"
"SHE DID IT WITH HER BROTHER!!!"

DJ and Natalie alternate between making gagging sounds and cracking up. Meanwhile Justin, my husband, is sitting at the computer looking up FAQs on hamsters while he's holding Akuma. I hear him talking to the incestuous rodent.

"You should have thought about this before you started humping her, you know. What did you think was going to happen? Now you get stuck in the little apartment and she wants no part of you. Oh yea, I know, she's partly to blame. She could have said no. But you're going to have to go back in there and take responsibility for your actions."

He's obviously reading one of the FAQs as he's talking to Akuma. "Now, Akuma, you go back in there and umm...lick the babies and eat the placenta. And then umm...clean up your girlfriend, too. And help her out with the babies."

I'm standing there envisioning him giving this talk to DJ some day. Without the placenta eating part. Obviously Justin was thinking the same thing because he turned to me and said "It's never too early to start stocking up on condoms for DJ, you know."

You can learn an awful lot from a rodent.

I guess I could count out the PETA vote.

Posted by me at 10:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (12) | TrackBacks (2)

Hillary and Al share a laugh over a cup of Command Post coffee. [credit:my sister, who got the original photo from Allah]

Posted by me at 10:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

[Hey, I've been sick. I'm still trying to catch up on my missed homework] Interestingly enough, I thought the Dem convention (speaker-wise) was great, right up until the main event. I think Kerry came off as arrogant, but that's just me. He wasn't out to convince me. Nor was he out to convince the his cheerleaders. He needed to convince that 7% that are still sitting on the fence (or sitting on a third party candidate's fence). So what did everyone think about the basics of the speech? Well, it had 52 applause points (and sweat broke out at point 32). Now, I know that speeches are made for maximum applause. They are meant to manipulate, cajole and convince. But sometimes the manipulation factor goes into overdrive. Kerry's speech came right out of the Pander and Dig school. Pander, pander, pander, DIG. Wash, rinse, repeat for thunderous applause. When I checked my email this morning there were three identical emails from three different people. All just contained one line: Did he just salute? Yes, he did. Couple that with his "Help is on the way!" mantra and you've got Dudley Do Right, at your service. Kerry should have come out with an "S" emblazoned on his shirt. It would have been more subtle. bq. And then I reached across the aisle to work with John McCain, to find the truth about our POW’s and missing in action, and to finally make peace with Vietnam. At Command Post (where Alan did a superb job of objective blogging from Boston), someone commented on that line: bq. THIS is ALL he had to say about how he stabbed all soldiers in the back when he returned from his BRIEF stay in Vietnam? That’s all? That’s it?
There are no words to describe the anger that I feel after reading this speech - especially the sentence quoted above. The problem is, Kerry gave his speech in an echo chamber. If anyone else felt anger over that line, it won't get heard while the sound of applause is still ringing in Kerry's ears. I didn't really expect Kerry to address the protesting or throwing of medals incident, but if he wanted to completely whitewash it, he shouldn't have said anything at all, especially using a euphimism like making peace with Vietnam, which I guess means years of protesting the war. bq. The United States never goes to war because we want to, we only go to war because we have to. Which, I suppose, let's out the possibility of going to war because we are provoked. Also, as E. Nough says: So the Iraq war was elective? We should have left it alone, even though everyone thought it had a WMD program? Hmm. Oct, 1998, Kerry signed a letter to President Clinton that read, in part: bq. "We urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the U.S. Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions (including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq's refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs. In January 2003, he said: bq. So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real. I would like John Kerry to clarify what he means by "have to" go to war. Would that be to retaliate after we've already been attacked or would it be to protect ourselves when threatened or provoked? Or, as Captain Ed said: bq. "We only go to war because we have to." After twelve years of failed containment, I suppose this means Kerry would have waited until the sanctions utterly collapsed, Saddam re-armed, and actually did catastrophic damage before doing anything about him ... Other random thoughts: A lot of the speech was filled with nastiness directed towards the Bush administration. I thought the Bush bashing was verboten during this convention? Or did Sharpton's ad-lib moments give way to Kerry's verbal attacks? Hey, barn door is open, may as well let all the bulls out? I really thought Kerry would try to appeal to the center with his speech. Instead, what we got was a private talk with the left. How much of a bounce can he get by delivering a speech to a targeted audience of people who are already voting for him? For a candidate that stresses he wants to be a uniter, not a divider, he sure did a lot of divisive speaking last night. If this was what a positive campaign looks like to Kerry, we're in for a nasty few months ahead of us. There was a underlying sense of socialism running through the speech. Everytime someone talks about one of those programs - like Head Start - I hear my college professor screaming about the dangers of "from each according to his abilities to each according to their needs." He was right. I heard this speech not as a "What can a John Kerry presidency do for you" moment but as a "What can not voting for George Bush do for you" thing. Again, Kerry isn't really telling people what he will do, just what he won't do. All in all, it was typical of any convention speech. If you're a Kerry supporter, you thought it was great. If you're not a Kerry supporter, you'll pick on his words. The problem here is, for anyone who is not a Kerry or Bush supporter, for those proverbial fence sitters, there wasn't much to cling to. I hope Bush remembers that 7% when he stand up at the podium in August. Around the sphere: Stephen Green did a great job blogging the speech as it happened and Glenn Reynolds actually had comments open on his speech post. Kerry alluded to the "bake sale for body armor" myth. Michelle Malkin points the way to a debunking of that lie. She also has a few links to go with the air pollution/asthma lie. John Podhoretz in today's New York Post: So, in the end, it appears Kerry has decided to run as Howard Dean with some medals. Mickey Kaus: This is the Eddie Yost candidacy. Say as little as possible and hope for a walk. My favorite speech related post comes from Jesse Walker at Reason: bq. Don't mind me, I'm obviously not the target audience for these things. I keep getting bored and flipping over to the convention reruns on C-Span 2. Last night I saw George Bush '88 promising never to raise our taxes. Tonight I saw Bill Clinton '96 promising to protect our airlines from terrorists.
Kind of puts the week in perspective, no? For now, the only speeches I enjoyed at this convention were Bill Clinton's and Al Sharpton's. The rest will only become entertaining after history adds some layers of irony and dust. I think that when history adds those layers, we'll be fondly recalling the 2004 Democratic Convention with memories of rodent mouth-to-mouth and fucking balloons.

Posted by me at 06:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (56) | TrackBacks (4)

When you spend nearly 24 hours straight on the couch you sure miss a lot. Or not. I see that there a major al Qaeda figure has been captured. And I see, rather unsurprisingly, that the "suspicious timing!" shrieks have already started. Ace has some questions for you shriekers. Like, when is a good time to capture a terrorist? I see that John Dvorak still has a bug up his ass about bloggers. (use bugmenot for login). Ahh, we just got a fresh batch of mail delivered from the old address and it wasn't just bills this time, but goodies, too! Thank, JFH for the 1776 DVD. I can now force my kids to watch it the way my mom used to force me to watch it. Nothing says loving like tradition. Thanks, Joseph for the Invader Zim DVD which I am going to watch right now. Much moosey goodness. And looking around the blogroll, I see I really haven't missed much at all. But I can tell you without hesitation that daytime tv sucks, that all those designing shows are the same, that, for some reason, CNN thinks the fact that John Kerry wrote his speech longhand is news worthy enough to be splashed on the bottom of the screen no less than five times an hour, that FOX is obsessed with dead, pregnant white women and that at any given time during any weekday, an Eric Roberts movie is on some cable channel. Apparently, whatever bug I have is still standing in the way of my writing anything interesting or thoughtful, so I'll quit now. Hopefully tomorrow will find my mind in working condition again. I suppose tomorrow you will get to hear my thoughts on the DNC. Because 400 other bloggers writing on the subject just isn't enough.

Posted by me at 06:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (25)

Leave it to me to come down with something undefineable. It's not really a cold, or a flu, or a stomach virus. It's a hybrid of all three, complete with cold sweats, constant nausea and the feeling that one would get after being body checked by Tie Domi. Don't know if I'll be up to blogging later or not. I don't know how much I can actually sleep again today, one too many dreams about dancing food (I believe it was Al Sharpton and John Kerry in costumes) makes me wary of closing my eyes again. And there's really no point in blogging when my head is filled with some kind of mental fuzz and I can't form complete thoughts. Meanwhile, Alan, blogging live from Boston, is scheduled to interview both Max Cleland and Joe Lieberman today. He's taking suggestions on (serious only) questions over here. And you could always take a nice walk through my blogroll while I'm gone. I shall return.

Posted by me at 07:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (26) | TrackBacks (1)

Not avoiding the debating going on in the comments today, just very under the weather. Back tomorrow. Play nice.

Posted by me at 04:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Bill O'Reilly blew that "fight" with Michael Moore. Moore kept hammering home one topic: "So you would sacrifice your child to secure Fallujah? I want to hear you say that," demanded Moore. To which O'Reilly kept replying that he would send himself. What I would have said if asked that question is this: bq. It would not be my choice to sacrifice my child, you idiot. No parent makes that choice for their child. You can enlist in the army when you are 18 years old, an adult. An adult who makes his or her own choices. When you ask if I would sacrifice my child, you make it sound as if parents all across the U.S. are rounding up their young children and boarding them on planes bound for Iraq against their will. Maybe even dropping down them down a live volcano to plead with the Gods to bring peace to Iraq.
Asking me if I would sacrifice my own child is disengenous, Mr. Moore. Now if you were to ask me how I would feel if my grown child were to freely and of his own will enlist in the army during this war, I would tell you that I would be proud of him for wanting to serve his country, join the process of bringing peace and democracy to another land and combat terrorism. I would be damn proud. Yes, I would be scared that he would never come back, but it would be my son making the sacrifice, Mr. Moore, not me. Ask an honest question the next time and I'll be able to give you an honest answer. But that's just me.

Posted by me at 11:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (150) | TrackBacks (6)

[A follow-up to this post] Much has been said by Democrats about Republicans running on a platform of fear. They want to scare you into voting for them, is the popular thinking. So when Ted Kennedy says The only thing we have to fear is four more years of George W. Bush! is he not engaging in the same type of fear-mongering, if from an opposing point of view? Well, I suppose that doesn't matter in the long run as Kennedy's fear mongering is made from hyperbole and ignorance of what we face as a nation. The only thing we have to fear is four more years of George W. Bush! The only thing? Is that really all we have to fear? If you read into that statement (and read into anything else in the speeches coming from the platform of the Democratic convention), one could surmise that Kennedy - and those who cheered him - believe that George Bush is the true enemy of America. How many speeches in the past two days have referred to "squandered goodwill?" What this means, in my eyes, is that Kerry will mend our fences by making nice with France and Germany. Kerry will make nice with the U.N. Kerry will offer a hearty handshake to those who think terrorism should be handled by inviting the terrorists over for tea to talk things over, or by appeasing them in the sense that we try to be a little bit nicer to those who would bully us. That's what I fear. I fear four years of John Kerry. It's not my only fear, but it's a big one. The only thing we have to fear is four more years of George W. Bush! No. I fear a time where we cower instead of standing tall in the face of threats. I fear a time when we become too worried about being every so multi-cultural and politically correct and forget who we are and how we got here. I fear a future where terrorists perceive our nation to be weak and passive. I fear a future where we give too much deference to the wishes of the U.N. - an organization that gave Libya the chair of their human rights commission. The only thing we have to fear is four more years of George W. Bush! Who does Ted Kennedy and the Democratic party think the enemy is? Judging from everything I've heard in the past few months I do believe they think the enemies of this country are not only Bush and his administration, but Republicans as a whole. Fellow Americans. You and I. So I fear a time in this country where the administration that is supposed to represent me and protect me looks upon me as an enemy and yet refuses to point a finger in the direction of the true enemy. Of course we have things to fear. The Republican party did not invent this fear. The Republican party did not hijack planes on September 11, 2001 and the Republican party is not issuing threats to attack yet again. Yet, my fear is tempered by the fact that I truly believe the man in the White House right now knows damn well who our enemy is. But my fear begins to grow when I think that we might face four years with a new man in the White House, one who comes from a party that believes the enemy lies within. As a postscript, I just find it interesting that the big theme seems to be that George Bush is a divider, not a uniter, and there has been plenty of speech talk that would confer that label upon the Dems themselves.

Posted by me at 09:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (43) | TrackBacks (4)

I thought I would spend this morning writing about Bugs Bunny's birthday. Some silly quotes, list a few favorite episodes, open up another discussion about how great Bugs was. But what I've discovered about blogging is this: it bestows obligations upon you. Unlike, say, a newspaper reporter, you can't just write an opinion piece and be done with it. Instead, you have to review all the comments and emails and then respond accordingly, sometimes making one opinion piece drag on over the course of several days. Which is fine with me; we bloggers are nothing if not opinionated and given the chance, we'll go on forever about any given subject. I can't speak for all bloggers, but I know that if I print something that becomes a hot subject (generating a lot of comments and trackbacks), it's a safe bet that within all those comments and pings there will be dissenting opinions. Which in turn obligates me to counter those opinions, or at the very least, back up my own words. And sometimes those comments derail into another subject entirely, which (I feel) obligates me to address that subject in a separate post. And so it went yesterday and last night. There was the abortion t-shirt post which ended up with someone implying that because I'm an atheist, my moral opinions are worthless. There was the Ted Kennedy post, which some people just did not get. So, which do I address now? Well, as it's 7:17, neither. So just consider this a preview of later today (hey, if Lileks can do it, so can I). In addition, I'll be writing something addressing emails I've received concerning the RNC credentialing system. However, I would be remiss if I didn't spend at least some time wishing Bugs Bunny a very happy birthday. Here's something for you to mull over until later - Who would Bugs vote for in this election and why? Silly? Yes. I figured I'd get the silly quotient in early today, as the rest of the day will be a bit heavy handed.

Posted by me at 07:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)

There have been thousands of things I've written and said that could be construed as divisive, but never in a million years would I have thought that a few comments of mine about PDF files in a Wired article would generate such an onslaught of angry email. You would think I attacked the Pope. I had no idea there was such a strong, devoted, contigent of PDF apologists out there. The last time I got email laced with such fervor was when I wrote disparaging remarks about furries. Draw your own conclusions.

Posted by me at 10:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (34) | TrackBacks (2)

[I wrote this post in my head while I watched the speech and damn if the same exact thought I had wasn't right here already. But I'm doing it anyhow.] Ted Kennedy: bq. The only thing we have to fear is four more years of George W. Bush! Once again, the Democrats prove that they have no clue who our real enemy is. ___ By the way, Alan has made his way to Boston and is blogging live from....The Purple Shamrock.

Posted by me at 09:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (50) | TrackBacks (7)

I'm feeling like crap on a stick today (not really sure what crap would feel like on a stick, but I always liked the way that sounds) and it's unlikely that I will be checking in again until later tonight or tomorrow. Of course, I'll leave you with something on the fun side, because I'm behind in my list making. Today's list (keeping with the same theme as the movie list): Five CDs I Own, Yet Won't Admit To Owning Them By Accident Or Reallly Enjoying Them: # Limp Bizkit, Three Dollar Bill Y'all # Oasis, What's the Story, Morning Glory # The Hair Soundtrack (Original Broadway Recording) # Linkin Park, Meteora # Huey Lewis and the News, Sports (ok, that one is on vinyl) Have at it.

Posted by me at 01:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (27)

I'm trying to figure out my logistics for the RNC and I have a question for those who are blogging the DNC or have done this kind of thing before. See, the housing pricing memo just came in the mail and, well, no. You have to guarantee a minimum of five nights at a pretty pricey rate and I can't do that. Plus, I'm staying over two nights at the most. What I'm wondering is this: What time do things usually get cranking during the day and what time do they wrap up at night? I'm thinking of not staying in the city at all, but going home to Long Island each night and coming back in the morning (I could also then have a blogger or two crash at my place with me, as long as you are relatively well behaved, clean cut and won't frighten my children and/or husband). So if I go home late at night, what's the general time I should expect to get back into Manhattan in the morning in order to not miss anything of relative importance? Or does anything of relative importance every happen? Any help or suggestions on this matter would be greatly appreciated. I'm a novice at this thing. Also: Anyone who received creds for the RNC, please leave a link to your blog here so I can compile a list. Thanks.

Posted by me at 10:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (16) | TrackBacks (3)

Gloria Feld of Planned Parenthood addressed the crowd at the Fleet Center last night. Yesterday, Planned Parenthood proudly announced their new t-shirt available for purchase: bq. Planned Parenthood is proud to offer yet another t-shirt in our new social fashion line: "I Had an Abortion" fitted T-shirts are now available. These soft and comfortable fitted tees assert a powerful message in support of women's rights. Like most who have already written about this shirt, I thought abortion was a privacy issue. Well, now you can proudly display your choice on a t shirt. How repulsive. I wonder how proud the Kerry people are to have invited to speak at their gala a woman who represents the group selling t shirts with this saying? The gap widens. Watching the convention on C-Span last night (there's a lot to be said for tv without commentary), I felt as if I were watching a variety show; well-rehearsed skits complete with running gags, on cue applause and scripted emotions. That's not to say those things are exclusively Democrat. I'm sure I'll be witnessing the same scripted affair come August. It's all window dressing, anyhow - just a few well-timed phrases and pretty words designed to get you to come on inside and make yourself at home. I wonder how many people are really comfortable once they get in there? I find myself staring at the Republican end of the window sometimes. No, not just Republican - conservative. Let's face it, I'm really not a true conservative (an atheist who supports gay marriage? No way), but there are days I'm enticed by all their pretty words and emotions. So I let myself in, wondering if I could truly embrace everyone inside. And then they throw this at me: bq. Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston, conservatives are deploying a series of covert signals to identify one another, much like gay men do. My allies are the ones wearing crosses or American flags. The people sporting shirts emblazoned with the "F-word" are my opponents. Also, as always, the pretty girls and cops are on my side, most of them barely able to conceal their eye-rolling. That's Ann Coulter, writing at Town Hall the column that was spiked by USA Today. It's a simple paragraph like that which will cause me to run screaming from the conservative base. A few days ago I said that liberalism is the new elitism. Perhaps I misspoke. Maybe extremism is the new elitism, on either side. Coulter's piece - and just that one paragraph is enough to make my point - reeks of "better than you" attitude. Basically, she is saying that Democrats are ugly and vulgar while conservatives are beautiful, religious patriots. No matter how much you want to believe that, it's just a ridiculous notion. And I'm apt to think that Coulter really believes every word she wrote (admittedly, I never liked the woman). [on edit: Yes, I know Coulter's column was supposed to be humorous - but it's a kind of humor that often gets thrown back in your face. If you are considered part of the politics that Coulter represents - which I so often am - then it gets thrown at you also and that makes it hard to have a firm ground to stand on when you're trying to claim the other party is the intolerant one] I wonder if any Democrats are equally appalled at the Planned Parenthood shirts as I am at Coulter's column? More to point, I wonder how much of either party the extremists on either end really represent? How many of us - Democrat or Republican, left or right - are left thinking, what about me? On the radio yesterday, I heard an interview with a Democrat (can't remember her name) who reiterated the tired idea that somehow we are all to blame for 9/11, that we were attacked for our culture. She spoke about family values and moral values and then blamed 9/11 on hip-hop (they hated us way before hip-hop was around, lady) violent movies (How many of the Islamofacists took the time to see Dawn of the Dead?) and our degrading televisions shows (I think they would be rather pleased with a show like The Bachelor, where woman are thought of as property to be discarded or used). I always thought the degradation of America's values, the taking down of the white picket fence, was a conservative talking point. Perhaps this just proves the idea that left extremism and right extremism are just two halves of the same whole. Suddenly the Dems are all about family values and a moral America. John Kerry is going to give America back it's lily-white virtue. Kerry and Edwards are going to bring back the days of Kennedy, when smiling white families played football on their front lawn. I wonder if anyone in the smiling families of the perfect Democrat future will be wearing "I Had an Abortion" t shirts?

Posted by me at 07:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (106) | TrackBacks (18)

No commentary. Just inspired by Steve. Update: Oompa Loompa doompadee doo.

Posted by me at 07:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (43) | TrackBacks (8)

I have received my official invitation to cover the Republican National Convention. I always had this nagging fear in the back of my head that something would go wrong and I wouldn't get credentials. So this is a big relief.

For the first time, bloggers will hold an on-site presence at the Republican National Convention called "Bloggers Corner." Positioned near Radio Row, credentialed bloggers will have the opportunity to connect with delegates, guests and other surrogates for interviews, and to provide original content, including multimedia, to their audiences. Through this behind-the-scenes look at the convention's proceedings and events, bloggers will play an important role in telling the story of the 2004 Republican Convention. Bloggers Corner will be located in Madison Square Garden's Theater Lobby in the corridor adjacent to Radio Row. Electrical outlets, tabled work stations and necessary hook-ups for laptop and other portable computers will be available for high-speed Internet and Intranet access. Main TV monitors will also be accessible in all convention common areas including Bloggers Corner and will carry closed circuit coverage of all floor activities. Bloggers will be credentialed to move about all media areas with access to the Media Center and the news conference center for briefings.

I hereby call dibs on using the phrase Live From Blogger's Corner for my interviews and dispatches. I hope Ralph Kiner approves. As an aside (I'm watching the DNC festivities), there are few things less entertaining than old women in red, white and blue hats trying to rock out.

Posted by me at 06:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (18)

In light of the recent discovery that Saddam is enjoying his days in captivity by gardening, writing poetry and eating muffins, Command Post has decided to hold a Saddam poetry contest (as has Dave). My entry follows. Please keep in mind that I am not a poet, nor do I pretend to be one. Ode to Martha by Saddam Hussein Rays the color of gold bullions streak across my garden The petals of the roses so soft and soothing, so neatly folded just like your towels on the shelf at K-Mart. The smell of gardenias give me pause; I think of the time you made a boutonniere and gave it to Larry King He seemed so touched at your generosity But then, aren’t we all? Oh, I hear the faint buzz of the oven, like a honeybee whispering in my ear; My muffins are done. We are destined to be, Martha Our souls and lives intertwined Unjustly accused, unjustly imprisoned but still warmed by a simple recipe or charmed by a pine cone place card Do not let your heart be troubled, Martha Do not let your soul become black like the oil I used to worship Before I worshiped you. I have found inner peace and when I escape my dark place I will find you, Martha and together we shall be the new age Mickey and Mallory driving around in your BMW mowing down the proletariat later, we will plant a date palm in front of our palace and plot to kill George Bush. Such is love.

Posted by me at 03:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Whoever has been sending letters to Mark Steyn using my email address, please stop. None of your letters have been printed yet (I just got some automated responses, which is how I know this has been going on), but I imagine that - given the type of people who participate in charades such as this - that Mr. Steyn and his staff probably think I'm some kind of deranged nut. Which may be debatable, but if anyone is going to think I'm a deranged nut, I prefer that it is of my own doing. Cease and desist, dude.

Posted by me at 10:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

I had this dream last night. There were more than a few plots and it involved my husband being taken away by "the military" only to return a few days later with two black eyes, a bandaged up face, a broken leg and missing teeth. But that's not the interesting part. Towards the end, a few of us were flying (I love flying dreams) through the night sky, trying to see who could go highest. We came across a huge mountain and glided down to a ledge where there was an enormous coffin partly covered with dirt. On the coffin was inscribed: Paul Krugman. Died 1812. I said to my flying companions: Whoa, Paul Krugman lived before! I wonder what he wrote about in 1812? At which point one of the other flyers tipped the coffin over and Mr. Krugman's corpse came tumbling out and proceeded to flip over the ledge, bounce down the mountain and land in a grassy field where it stood up, dusted itself off and proclaimed, You have not heard the last of me! I swear to you this is what I dreamed. Be damned if I know what it means.

Posted by me at 10:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)

I didn't address the Annie Jacobsen issue over the weekend because I didn't feel like it. And I suppose that's the upside to not doing this for a living. I can write whatever I please whenever I damn well please. As I mentioned yesterday, I received a boatload of emails (24 at latest count) from people asking if I would write once again about Terror in the Skies, giving consideration to some of the updates bouncing around, the most significant update being that someone thought Jacobsen was an hysterical, shrieking woman (description taken verbatim from email). Several of the emails demanded a retraction in light of that description of Ms. Jacobsen. Several of them applied that description to me. So, will I retract? In a word, no. Go back and read my original post on the story and show me where I took Jacobsen's story as wholly, completely accurate. Alas, you can't. So, no. I want to move on from the whole Terror in the Skies thing now, thank you. I'm sure the basic themes within that story - security, fear, ethnic profiling, terrorism - will come up time and again here but for now, there's no need to spend an hour rehashing what's already out there. If you have a specific question on this matter, I'd be happy to answer it honestly. However, if you're just barking up my tree for no other reason than to get me to apologize for some perceived wrongdoing on my part (which makes me believe that your reading comprehension skills are a bit lacking), go find another yard to make noise in. Your bark is not at all that intimidating and is, in fact, irritating. And please keep in mind that being concerned about the health, welfare and safety of your family does not automatically equate to being a shrieking, hysterical woman (and I'm sure some of those comments stem from my security moms post). What is it with guys who think that the minute a woman raises her voice in concern, she's gone apeshit? Are we supposed to be good little women and leave the big, scary concerns to the menfolk? Give me a break.

Posted by me at 10:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)

Emergency might have been an overstatement, as this has been going on all week. It just came to a head today. Nat has had braces for a few months now, but last Monday she was also fitted with what's known as an appliance. Anyone who has ever had braces knows that the proper reaction to the word appliance is one of horror and revulsion. The purpose of this appliance was to take care of her tongue thrust. Basically, it's a non-removable retainer, affixed with glue to the roof of the mouth. Hanging from that retainer is an oblong shaped piece of metal. This keeps her from thrusting her tongue forward when talking. However, it has also kept her from eating, sleeping, talking and generally being happy. We gave it a few days because we thought once she got used to it, it would be okay. But a week later, she's got an indent in her tongue from where the attachment rests at night, a cut next to the indent, a stomach ache from eating only yogurt for an entire week and a headache from not being able to sleep. Plus, she's given up on even trying to have a conversation with anyone, as she cannot be understood when she talks due to the oblong metal thingamajig getting in the way. In short, she's miserable. And this morning, she woke up with her tongue bleeding. I understand why the orthodonist put the appliance in but, in the long run, it's not going to impact the work of her braces any if we have the retainer taken out. If Natalie's miserable, we're all miserable. So my mom is taking her to the ortho at 11 and I already called the office to tell them it's coming out and that's the final word. No real emergency, I suppose. But if we had to put up with one more day of her (justified) crabiness, we might have had a hostile situation on our hands. We're being pre-emptive here. At least she'll never ask if she can get a tongue ring after this. Back with real blogging shortly. Hey, while I'm trying to find the time to write something besides orthodontal minutae, you could be entering the SADDAM POETRY CONTEST over at Command Post. In case you haven't heard, Saddam is now a poet. Bet he didn't even know it. Hahaha.

Posted by me at 09:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Orthodontic emergency with daughter this morning. Be with you shortly.

Posted by me at 08:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

I just did a phone interview with Wired about the 9/11 report. CNN wants to come to my house next week to do an interview about security moms. I've spoken to at least three reporters from various news agencies this week about the conventions. And I hear my blog was flashed for .5 seconds on CNN today (I think it was the Glenn Reynolds interview, not sure). I think in the past year alone, I've done about 100 media interviews on various subjects. The fact that they email me looking for two second sound bites or a few words about a chosen subject is a source of great bemusement to me. I still have the same attitude whenever I get an interview request: Who, me? It's almost surreal at times and when I go ahead and read my two words out of a thousand spoken that get printed in the story it's almost as if I'm separating me from that me. It's just....weird. I don't think I'll ever get used to people actively seeking out my opinion on anything except video games and horror movies. And no one has called me on that yet. It makes me wonder what impression someone might have of me if they've read an article where I'm quoted. Maybe they think, oh must be an Important Person Who Is An Expert In The Field. When in reality, I've got the phone in one hand and the Game Cube controller in the other and I'm in my pajamas. I always wanted to be an expert at something. I could never decided just what, though, which is probably why I bounce all over the place as far as subjects go here. But last night I was watching VH1's Most Metal Moments and there was one guy, I forget his name, but the blurb that came up on the screen when they showed him on camera was Metal Expert. I wonder if anyone grows up thinking, I want to be a metal expert when I get older? And how does one get the credentials that would deem them an expert in that field, anyhow? Either, way, it's sort of a cool thing to have attached to your name. Imagine: Michele Catalano, Metal Expert. At this stage in the game, it's probably too late to become an expert on anything. I mean, my life is half over (that's assuming I die of natural causes at a ripe old age) and the second half usually consists of a down hill slide towards early bird meals and reruns of Murder, She Wrote. So I suppose I should just ride this wave of meager successes right now and some day I can tell my grandkids - when they get surly with me and call me a foolish old bag - my opinion was once sought after, you damn whippersnappers! Who knows? Maybe I'll still be blogging by then and people will call me to ask my opinion about adult diapers and diet supplement drinks. Or maybe they'll have opened a Home For Aged Bloggers by then. I think I figured out why my success (blogger-ly speaking) has been somewhat limited, in comparison to other bloggers who have turned their gig into paying jobs. I never quite nailed down what it is I blog about. But I kind of like it this way. I'd rather regale you with tales of DJ's guitar prowess some days then write another post about Sandy Berger's pants. Being an expert is probably overrated anyhow. How many times could one answer the same question about Marilyn Manson's boobs (fake or real?) without wanting to scream? I think I'll scratch "metal expert" off of my short list. Maybe I'll go for an expert credential in Antagonizing Red Sox Fans. I seem to be pretty good at that. Or maybe I'll just go back to the couch and try to regain my Crash Team Racing championship title from Natalie.

Posted by me at 07:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (28) | TrackBacks (11)

For you listening pleasure (or not) DJ doing The Darkness during this weeks "Sunday Is Annoy The New Neighbors Day" jam. [click the pic] You probably can't see much, but that's not the point. In other DJ related news: My mother takes DJ and Nat to a play at the local theater every month. So I asked him what play they were going to see in August. He answered: "Joseph And His Amazing Technical Difficulties."

Posted by me at 04:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (22)

Or commentary on the game/fight.

New York Yankees' Alex Rodriguez takes a punch from Boston Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek in the third inning at Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts July 24, 2004. The fight came after Rodriguez was hit by a pitch from the Red Sox pitcher Bronson Arroyo.Varitek and Rodriguez were ejected from the game. REUTERS/Brian Snyder REUTERS

Pretty exciting game, even if it had a shitty ending.

Posted by me at 11:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (46) | TrackBacks (1)

Wonkette was on the Today show and came out with this gem: Q: What is a blogger? A: Someone who doesn’t get up before noon, usually. Also: * I talk a lot about sex in politics, which is one of the ways to make it interesting. * If they’re trying to get news from me, they’re not succeeding. Aren't you all pleased as punch that the media see her as the new de facto representative of news and political bloggers? Not for nothing, but I can read more fresh blog posts by 8am than Wonkette posts in an entire day.

Posted by me at 11:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (25)

First, note: Several people (actually, 22 at last count) have emailed asking if I am going to do a follow up on the Annie Jacobsen story, given all the new stories coming out in regards to that flight. Yes. But not today, or at least not this morning. The whole family is going out to breakfast at the local buffet, which means I'll probably take a five hour nap after overdosing on carbs and salty foods. Now, I'm not really a big fan of buffets, but it was majority rules today. Hey, here comes another list. Three Worst Things About Buffets # Waiting ten minutes while the obsessive/compulsive guy in front of you picks out the perfect piece of bacon # When Mr. Perfect Bacon man has really bad body odor and leaves his stench all over the food # When Mr. Perfect Bacon man tells his Little Perfect Children that it's ok to use their hands to grab the scrambled eggs One Favorite ThingThat I Witnessed At A Buffet # Little Perfect Children run rampant through the food line, putting their grubby hands on everything, cutting in front of people, sneezing on the food, making rude remarks, spilling juice on other patrons, and then one Little Perfect Child slips on a piece of jello that his brother dropped and Mr. Perfect Bacon Man starts bellowing about a lawsuit and tiny, 70 year old waitress gets all up in his face and says: "Maybe if you controlled your little rugrats, that kid wouldn't be on the floor whining and crying right now. Now sit down before I make your brat clean up the jello he spilled." And then applause from the other patrons. Gosh, I love America. Five Uneccesary Things at a Breakfast Buffet # Pine nuts # Saurkraut # Carved turkey with gravy # Bacon bits (the real bacon isn't enough?) # Me [Ok, fine. I do love the biscuits and gravy]

Posted by me at 09:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (20)

The New York Times is better than you. While making the case that the NYT really is liberal, Daniel Okrent also admits that the Times demographic target is a jaded hipster who reeks of psuedo-intellectualism and, while claiming to be open-minded, rejects anyone who is not like him. I give Okrent credit for letting the beast out of the closet once and for all, but instead of coming off as an honest look at what the NYT is really about, it smacks of intolerance and smugness and reads like Okrent wrote it while standing on the pedastel the Times made for its writers, one which they refuse to step off of because it would require that they actually do some "self-questioning." All the news that's fit to print? No, how about all the news that's fit to be read if you're a New Yorker (or wannabe New Yorker) who loves abstract art, trendy issues, Bush-bashing and looking down at the people are not as good as you? I mean, if you're gonna be honest, why not go the whole nine yards? Liberalism. It's new elitism. _____ See, also: Allah and Ed Driscoll, who makes a good point about the NYT setting the tone for the rest of the media.

Posted by me at 07:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (24) | TrackBacks (3)

This sounds like nirvana: Guinness ice cream.

1 cup water 2 tablespoons cornstarch 1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk 1 1/2 cups evaporated milk 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup sugar 1/2 cup Guinness stout In a heavy saucepan whisk together the water and the cornstarch and simmer the mixture over moderate heat, whisking, for 2 minutes. Add the milks, the salt, and the sugar, heat the mixture over moderately low heat, whisking, for 1 to 2 minutes, or until the sugar is dissolved, and remove the pan from the heat. Let the mixture cool completely, stir in the Guinness, and freeze the mixture in an ice-cream freezer according to the manufacturer's instructions. Makes about 1 quart

Am I the only one drooling?

Posted by me at 04:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (38) | TrackBacks (5)

It's insane insects day on Sci-Fi. I just sat through Deadly Invasion: The Killer Bee Nightmare, which is probably the worst-acted, poorly written movie of all time. That includes Killer Klowns from Outer Space and anything starring Pauly Shore. Yes, it was that bad. Sad to say, thi