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April 30, 2004

71: Pistols at Dawn

s2517.jpgLots of favorite episodes questions (though I think most of them came in one email). We'll start with this one though, rightfully, the correct answer is: almost all of them. These were the first three that came to mind. 71. Three favorite Simpsons episodes Radioactive Man: My eyes! The goggles do nothing! Tomacco [E-I-E-I-Doh!] Aw Daddy! This tastes like Grandma! Contains the B-52's song Glove Slap, which I've graciously provided for you. Homer the Heretic Kids, let me tell you about another so-called wicked guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas. He didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was... I forget. But the point is... I forget that, too. Marge, you know what I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car? You know, I could do this all night. Unless you want to take over. -------- Note: this post is part of what was the Spirit of America Ask a Blogger challenge, a challenge in which I am woefully behind. All the previous questions are in one happy place.

66-70: Oh my god, she's talking about s-e-x!

66. What's your favorite sexual position? Yea, like I didn't see that one coming. It's position number 27 from the book A Contortionist's Guide to the G-Spot. If you try it, make sure you use diagram B and keep it right side up. Anything else and you'll find yourself in the hospital with a lot of explaining to do. 67. Have you ever sexual relations with a woman and, if so, please describe. Looking for a little masturbatory material? Try here, bud (NSFW). It's free. 68. Who gave you the best orgasm you ever had? Grohe 69. What kind of music do you like to have sex to? I don't. I prefer that we provide the soundtrack. However, if I just had to have a song playing, it would be Rammstein's version of Depeche Mode's Stripped. 70. If you had the chance to give Yassir Arafat an STD, which STD would it be? Dude. Do you mean that I would have to give it to him personally? Even if I had an STD to give him, you just could not make me touch him. This conjures up all kinds of thoughts, the most prominent thought being one of vomiting continously until the image of Arafat naked in the same room as me is purged from my existence. Worst. Question. Ever. -------- Note: this post is part of what was the Spirit of America Ask a Blogger challenge, a challenge in which I am woefully behind. All the previous questions are in one happy place.

65: dollars for my forced thoughts

I'm throwing this in here as a question even though someone (make that three people) asked me this only today - this is a paraphrasing of all their emails: 65. How come you aren't outraged about the soldiers who were caught torturing Iraqi prisoners? When are you going to make your post blowing it off and calling it a part of war and then throw some moral crap out there about how we built hospitals? Just because I didn't write about it does not mean I am not outraged. Next time I'll try to be quick with informing you about my opinion on every single news item, from war to Jayson Williams. What those soldiers did is not a part of war, it is not to be expected. It is, however, expected that the people who committed these acts will be punished to the full extent possible. That good enough for you? Now that you consider yourself my boss, I expect a paycheck. Thank you. -------- Note: this post is part of what was the Spirit of America Ask a Blogger challenge, a challenge in which I am woefully behind. All the previous questions are in one happy place. WE BUILT HOSPITALS!!! Yea, couldn't resist.

fragrant like hormel's chili

The last word on Rene Gonzales. Or is that the last laugh? 'Cause I am laughing.

Second meme of the day, counts as 64

64. Yay, someone posed this as a question so I get to join in and count it. I would have preferred to do this one at home, but oh well. Via Tim Blair (I missed this one the first time around): bq. GRAB THAT BOOK Via half the Internet, it’s the latest crazy random words game: 1. Grab the nearest book. 2. Open the book to page 23. 3. Find the fifth sentence. 4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions. A defendant who is properly informed of his appellate rights may not let the matter rest and then claim he did not waive the right to appeal. New York State Reports, Court of Appeals, v. 100 (2003). Riveting, I know.

meme of the day: check it out, i'm like a buzzbomb

Following Treacher: bq. 1. Grab the nearest CD. 2. Put it in your CD-Player (or start your mp3-player, I-tunes, etc.). 3. Skip to Song 3 (or load the 3rd song in your 3rd playlist) 4. Post the first verse in your journal along with these instructions. Don’t name the band, nor the album-title. If you thought it was boring in Jordan Then come out here for a day And by the way, the name is Marcus But if you like, you can call me Sensei Well the emperor is in the pig sty And the geisha is in the shack And you better believe I'll hold them there Till the feds, they pay me back If anyone knows that without Googling, you will have my utmost musical respect, whatever that's worth to you. [Go back to Treacher and work your way back from his links, and also click on the trackbacks and comments on each post. I think out of all the songs represented, I could figure out only two right away]

60-63: Kazaam!

60. What is the perfect day for you, weather wise? 70-75 degrees. Cloudless, sea blue sky. Strong sun. Slight, warm breeze. Late into summer, but the weather is letting you know that fall is chasing summer's ass out the door. That has been my perfect day for as long as I was able to think about such things. Unfortunately, that is the exact description of the weather on September 11, 2001 and now my days of perfection are marred by memories. 61. Worst movie you have ever paid to see in a movie theater? Been there, done that, made an award for it. Kazaam. 62. Name a blogging related pet peeve. When people correct your typos/errors in the comments. Be considerate and send an email. I appreciate the emails - no one wants to walk around with spinach on their teeth all day - but leaving a snarky comment regarding an obvious typo is just rude, damn it. 63. Did you ever participate in a wet t-shirt contest in your young and wild days. I didn't have boobs until I had kids. Yes, ladies, there are some good, unintended consequences of pregnancy. -------- Note: this post is part of what was the Spirit of America Ask a Blogger challenge, a challenge in which I am woefully behind. All the previous questions are in one happy place.

Fee Speech and the War Dead

A University of Massachusetts at Amherst graduate student is apologizing to Pat Tillman's family. ... Gonzalez said in an e-mail to a Boston TV station that he was trying to say Tillman's celebrity had factored into his being labeled a hero. He admits he tried to prove his point in an "insensitive way" and that the article wasn't worth publishing.
There were many messages I got out of Gonzales's editorial, but not one of them had anything to do with Tillman's celebrity had factored into his being labeled a hero. Nor do I think this is any sort of apology. Gonzales's words cannot be taken on their merit simply because of things Gonzales has written in the past concerning war and politics. But that's not the point today. We're going to talk instead about freedom of speech, as it pertains to both Gonzales, weblog comments and Ted Koppel. Let's start with the comments. While I think Gonzales is a spoiled, ignorant brat who should be ashamed of himself for printing such an ignorant rant, I do not think that what he did calls for a beating to be delivered upon his person. Nor do I think he should be shot, hung, buried alive or scalped. All of the above suggestions were mentioned in the comments on this post. Some of the comments printed the phone number and address of Gonzales. I deleted most of them, but there are a few more I need to get to. If you want to play the part of vigilante, I'd much rather not be your sidekick. Yes, you have the freedom to throw your ideas out there - but this being my website that I pay for, complete with a space provided to you free for all your commentary needs, I have the right to ask you to remove yourself and your ideas from this place. Frankly, I'd rather not be a part of it when Gonzales is found in a bloody pulp on his own doorstep, should you be so inclined to follow through on your threats. And now a few words about Mr. Koppel. While I applaud Sinclair TV's move to not have their ABC affiliates air Koppel's thinly veiled swipe at the ongoing battle in Iraq, there is a part of me that hopes they reconsider. In an ideal world, we all make our own decisions, which we are then held responsible for. By taking Nightline off the air for that night, Sinclair is both making a decision for every one of its viewers and letting Koppel off the hook in those specific cities in which the show will not be seen. Sinclair should instead give their viewers the chance to watch or not watch the show on their own accord, and put a disclaimer on before Nightline stating that they do not agree with the content of the show, but are going to air it so as not to take away the right to watch it from those who want to. Koppel was on Curtis and Kuby (WABC radio) this morning. He was explaining how important it is that he read the names of the war dead, otherwise the dumb American public will never know the cost of the war. So, Koppel thinks that we are so uneducated about the war that we have no idea people are dying every day, that our soldiers are coming home in caskets, that death is a part of war. We know that, Ted. We are well aware of the casualties of war, both civilian and military. What I want is for Koppel and ABC to be honest about what they are doing. Just come out and say it. But don't drape the program in some patriotic flag and tell us you are doing it for our own good. If that is the story they are sticking with, then that tells me that ABC and the producers of Nightline believe that, as a nation, we are clueless, unniformed and naive. We are not. Whether you are with this war or against it, you know the toll. You know the numbers (exaggerated as some of them may be). You know many of the names and faces. No one I know is hiding their head in the sand and pretending that every soldier who goes overseas will come home in one piece. War is ugly, brutal and deadly. And, sometimes, necessary. This is what I said at Bill Quick's this morning, when Bill linked to a quote by U.S. Rep. Maurice Hinchey: bq. "The decision by Sinclair ... to keep this program off its stations is being made by a corporation with a political agenda without regard to the wants or needs of its viewers," Hinchey said. "This move may be providing a chilling look into the future if we allow media ownership to be consolidated into fewer and fewer hands." To which I replied: And one can conversely say "The decision to air Koppel's reading was made by a corporation with a political agenda without regard to the wants or needs of its viewers." So where does that leave us? Perhaps we should just allow anything and everything to be aired and leave us to judge for ourselves whether or not to watch or listen? Then we can react to what we have seen or heard and not to what was not seen or heard. Everything out in the open; biases, agendas, partnerships, affiliations - full disclosure. Have a crawl on the bottom of CNN saying, "This is an ant-Israeli station" whenever they report from Israel. Have Fox put up a disclaimer saying "We are staunch conservatives who suppor the war" on their station. Newscasters should wear buttons proclaiming support for their favorite politicians. Interviewe shows can open with a little segment in which the interviewer says "Not only do I hate the person I am interviewing, but I slept with her and she dumped me the next day, so I harbor much bitterness towards her." This way, we will have no guessing as to the subtext of a certain segment or editorial. We'll know exactly what we are watching and we can make our judgment on the show's worth based on that. Yea, well Ted Koppel read those names the other night, but he came right out and said it was designed to lower support for the war, so I turned it off. Oh? That's when I turned it up. I thought it was magnificent. But then, I'm anti-war. Oh yes, I know - eventually it will lead to liberals watching liberal shows and conservatives watching conservative shows, and if one watches the other, it will only be to gather ammunition for the next water cooler debate. Much like blogs, where we visit DU or FR just to find out what the "enemy" is saying. And then we'll all live in little echo chambers, where the only sound is the sound of our own opinions bouncing back at us, over and over. Or will we? Would you be more inclined to watch something if you knew outright that the moderator of the show was fervently opposed to your ideals? Would a gay person watch a politcal talk show where the anchor was wearing a lapel pin that read "I hate gays?" See, there's no real solution to media bias. We just have to let it be and try to figure out for ourselves what's truth and what's half truth and what's plain old agenda. I'm glad the Daily Collegian printed Gonzales's editorial. Everyone deserves to have their voice heard, no matter how ignorant and vile it is. Exposure of ignorance is a good thing. But silencing that ignorance with rocks and clubs is not a good thing. It is not good for liberty, for freedom or justice for all - the very things we purport that Pat Tillman was fighting in the name of when he died. If Tillman has become a hero, it is because of his celebrity, in a way. And that's a good thing. Pat Tillman's face and name, for many, have become the face and name of the war dead. Unfortunately, Pat Tillman's name won't be heard on Nightline tonight. He died in Afghanistan. Koppel is only reading the names of the Iraq dead. Maybe he should tell us why. _______ Related: When Idiots Attack Ted's Tribute Ted Koppel, War Profiteer, and The War Dead On Pat Tillman

Looks Like We Made It

The tally shows a little under 50k, but there are some funds that have yet to be allocated, so we did make the goal. [click for readable size] Photo taken by Joanie Please see Smash, Dean, John, Kevin, The Opinion Journal, Gerard and Joanie for more. And Sissy, who mis-linked herself in the comments. Thank you. For everything. I will continue with the SOA blogging, as I still have promises to keep.

April 29, 2004

Spirit of America Closing Out Sale!

Last Call. Bar closes at midnight PST.

Ted's "Tribute" Loses Some Stations

Sinclair TV tells ABC affiliates to pull Nightline special:
The ABC Television Network announced on Tuesday that the Friday, April 30 edition of "Nightline" will consist entirely of Ted Koppel reading aloud the names of U.S. servicemen and women killed in action in Iraq. Despite the denials by a spokeswoman for the show, the action appears to be motivated by a political agenda designed to undermine the efforts of the United States in Iraq. There is no organization that holds the members of our military and those soldiers who have sacrificed their lives in service of our country in higher regard than Sinclair Broadcast Group. While Sinclair would support an honest effort to honor the memory of these brave soldiers, we do not believe that is what "Nightline" is doing. Rather, Mr. Koppel and "Nightline" are hiding behind this so-called tribute in an effort to highlight only one aspect of the war effort and in doing so to influence public opinion against the military action in Iraq. Based on published reports, we are aware of the spouse of one soldier who died in Iraq who opposes the reading of her husband's name to oppose our military action. We suspect she is not alone in this viewpoint. As a result, we have decided to preempt the broadcast of "Nightline' this Friday on each of our stations which air ABC programming. We understand that our decision in this matter may be questioned by some. Before you judge our decision, however, we would ask that you first question Mr. Koppel as to why he chose to read the names of 523 troops killed in combat in Iraq, rather than the names of the thousands of private citizens killed in terrorist attacks since and including the events of September 11, 2001. In his answer, we believe you will find the real motivation behind his action scheduled for this Friday. Unfortunately, we may never know for sure because Mr. Koppel has refused repeated requests from Sinclair's News Central news organization to comment on this Friday's program.
Of course, someone will immediately look into the management of the Sinclair group, discover there's a Republican or two on the board, and declare this all part of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Related: Ted Koppel, War Profiteer, and The War Dead On Pat Tillman

51-50: We are the suckage

Note: this post is part of today's Spirit of America challenge. To find out what's going on and what you missed already and how to join in, please start here and scroll up. All the questions are in one happy place. 50k all the way! 51. You mentioned once that you started out on AOL. Did you hang out in chat rooms and if so, which ones? Yea, I was one of those AOL chat room junkies. I started out in Movie Quote Trivia and when that room went to hell due to blogosphere-like ego fights, I moved on to Guess Song By Lyric, which became a nice little home for me while I was going through one of those six month mood swings after my divorce. And then that room went to hell as well, when it was overun by fourteen year old kids who quoted Insane Clown Posse 24 hours a day. I miss some of those people, and I know they stop around here from time to time so just in case this happens to be one of those times, mad props to Molly, Ashely and Tim, my bandmates from the good old Halite days. That's an inside story and I'm not sharing. 52. Got a crush on an entertainment person or are you too old for that stuff? I'd like to kidnap Seth Green, tie him up, stuff him in a Hefty bag and carry him around with me wherever I go. 53. What is your name? Sir Lancelot of Camelot. 54. What is your quest? To seek the Holy Grail 55. What is your favorite color? Blue 56. What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen sparrow? What do you mean, an African or a European swallow? You know, I'd poke air holes in the bag. Really. 57. If nominated, will you run?/58. If elected, will you serve I didn't inhale. 58. What do you want to be when you grow up? I was completely unaware that I had to grow up. I probably should have read the fine print befoe I signed on to this life thing. 59. Did you ever quit smoking? Yes, but once I went off the Wellbutrin, I hopped right back on the smoke wagon. Anyone who tries to persuade me to quit will end up with a small burn hole on their arm. These answers are teh suckage. My brain is compteley fried and being smart, clever, funny, witty or enteraining have become a real effort.

Halfway to 100: I Want Candy

Note: this post is part of today's Spirit of America challenge. To find out what's going on and what you missed already and how to join in, please start here and scroll up. All the questions are in one happy place. 50k all the way! The magic halfway number of 50 is upon us and I am not resting until I finish off 100. Please note that all of the questions - from both email and comments - have been printed out, stuffed in a box and are being picked at random. If your question never gets answered, perhaps I will use it as blogging fodder for one day. Tonight's Q&A session is being brough to you buy Bloody Mary, with an assist from Don Julio vodka. If only I had the ingredients to make the Jim Treacher "I'm not Gay" Special. And Jeter has hit a home run. You may stop with the booing now, people. #50. What kind of candy did you like as a child? Back when I was a kid, there were real candy stores. You could walk in with fifty cents and come out with a bagful of teeth rotting sweetness. Carl's was the candy store of choice. Sometimes we would go to Murray's, but he kept a nasty German Shepard in the store and one time I found a bite mark in a piece of Bazooka Joe gum, so we stopped going there. Carl had all the cool candy. If something new came out, it would be on the shelves the very day it entered the market. I remember the first time I tried a Watchmacallit. Heavenly. My favorite candies from my bygone era, some of which still exist today, but just don't hold the same power that they did back when I was ten and stealing change from my mother's purse so I could help Carl pay his rent. iwantcandy.jpg Halfway there.

Tales From the Courthouse: P. Diddy Syndrome

There's a guy who robbed a bank. He suffers from delusions of grandeur. He's a record mogul and a former assistant to Henry Ford (previous life division) among other things. As he tells it, late one night an "ill wind" came blowing through his window. There was a voice on the wind whispering to him the news that he was now the new owner of the Los Angeles Lakers. To which my boss replied: Wouldn't an ill wind make him owner of the Mets? Just a little courthouse humor to tide fill the space until I begin my question answering marathon.

undercover val

50-100 coming tonight. Right now, it's moving errands and whatnot. Before I go, I must ask a question of you. It seems that Val got someone to take his offer of cross-dressing, leg-shaving blogging in return for a $160.00 donation to SOA. The thing is, the person who made the donation asked Val if he would also wear a disguise. A Michele Catalano disguise. When Val asked for my help, I said perhaps a Yankees jersey would do. I think he threw up. So I told him I would ask you. What would you suggest Val wear as a Michele disguise? Which all reminds me that I still owe someone a photo of myself in a Mets cap. Anyone know where I can purchase a burqa so I don't show any skin in the photo? [50k by the end of the day!]

Questions 47, 48, 49: hokey religions and ancient weapons

Note: this post is part of today's Spirit of America challenge. To find out what's going on and what you missed already and how to join in, please start here and scroll up. All the questions are in one happy place. 50k all the way! 47. What is your favorite scene in a Star Wars movie and why? The very first minute of the very first movie. You're sitting in the movie theater, the scrolling intro just gets done and suddenly the tip of a ship appears on the screen. It's an Imperial Star Destroyer and it is massive. It's chasing a Rebel ship, which it partly disintegrates, but not before the destoyer does a slow crawl onto the screen, revealing its enormity frame by frame. You know then and there that you are watching the coolest movie ever. 48. Say you are Princess Leia, pre-Return of the Jedi. Would you have gone for Luke or Han? If I'm Princess Leia, I'm thinking; which guy is going to help me save the universe, beat the crap out of some stormtroopers, kick Vader's ass, destroy the Death Star and be a good fuck? Sure as hell ain't that whiny bitch Luke. Wahwahawah But I was going into Toshi Station to pick up some power converters... ... wahwahwah. 49. Who do you think would do a worse job on Star Wars III: Lucas himself or Michael Moore? Tough choice. Both of them would PC the hell out of it and Lucas already did enough PCing with the whole Greedo/Han thing. Actually, I don't give a crap. As far as I'm concerned, nothing exists after Jedi was made, and even Jedi barely makes it onto my radar. Leave me alone with New Hope and Empire and I'll be a happy geek for years to come. Michael Moore would make a mighty fine Jabba, though.

Questions 43-46: One Bad Apple

Note: this post is part of today's Spirit of America challenge. To find out what's going on and what you missed already and how to join in, please start here and scroll up. All the questions are in one happy place. 50k all the way! osmonds.gifTrust me when I say that today is not the day you want to throw down with me. You will lose. Badly. Just ask the condesending receptionist from my doctor's office, who is probably in tears right now. Let's get busy with the questions, shall we? 42. If you couldn't live on Long Island or the greater New York area, where would you live? Why? Probably upstate New York (that's not the Greater New York area, is it?). We've been going up to Roscoe, New York every summer since I was about five. I love the peace, the slow pace and being surrounded by nature. I love the way the night sky upstate, where you can billions more stars than you can see here on the Island. I love the dirt roads and cool mornings and evenings. I could live like that. Definitely. 43.If you had to do it all over again in regards to blogging, would you? Honestly, no. When I think of how much time I've spend blogging, it scares me. But if I knew then what I know now, I would definitely find other means to get my writing and opinions out there. That's not to say that I don't love blogging, because I do. But had I known that it's a package deal complete with trolls and enemies, I might have just done it anonymously. Or not at all. Hell, I think the answer to this is, I don't know. 44. How can I be as cool as Michele?? (you can't isn't an answer!) Show your tits, dude. 45. How much time goes into administering a blog like yours, both in absolute terms and in comparison to the time spent creating content? It runs different every day. Most of the content is created in my head, as I drive or shower or work. It's just a matter of opening up the innards of the blog and typing it in. Generally, I'll have a two or three sentence idea in my head when I sit down - it pretty much flows from there. I very rarely write in advance or prepare posts ahead of time. Everything here is pretty much off the cuff. I can type at an amazing speed, also. For argument's sake, take this post. That took about twelve minutes from conception to birth. Today's post on that idiot from UMass took a bit longer (about 25 minutes) because I had to re-read the original story a couple of times in order to address the points. Each day varies - some days I'll blog for a couple of hours worth of time. Some days it amounts to about an hour total that I put in. Again, with the time wasting. Are you guys trying to force me to realize that I have no life?? 46. What was your favorite cartoon show when you were a kid? Sigh. You people are really trying to destroy my reputation. It was The Osmonds, ok? THE OSMONDS! There, I said it. I loved that show. I loved Donny. I loved Jimmy. I loved the songs and Fuji the dog. They toured the world and took us with them to all these exotic locations, including Transylvania where they met a vampire, and Jimmy would always do something stupid so hilarity would ensue and then they would sing and....it was Rankin Bass, man! How could you not like it? That's enough. I'm going to drown my stress in a huge, greasy cheeseburger and a chocolate egg cream. 47-50 when I get back.

That's the Spirit!

Today is the last day to get your donation in to Spirit of America in the name of Spirit of Team (which is the combined efforts of the original three coalitions). Our goal is no longer to beat each other, but to get our tally up to 50k before the night is through. So fare we have raised a total of $45,068. That means we have until midnight tonight (PST) to raise $5000 dollars to reach our goal. I think we can do this, considering what we have to offer in return for your bucks. The whole list of offers can be found at the vBay page (The Coalition Marketplace), including dinners, graphic design, autographed prints by both Cox&Forkum and Chris Muir, editing services, music, time on the Hugh Hewitt show, a Chief Wiggles lecture and cross-dressing blogging by Val. Today, we've added the incredible offer of three signed Victor David Hanson books! That's right, the Victory Coalition has VDH himself on their side. I will commence with the answering of 100 questions momentarily. Tomorrow, I will address all of the topic requests that were bought and paid for. Go check out the offers and, if you haven't already, donate and get us to 50k for Spirit of America.

Boobage

One thing to say in re John Hawkins's five hundredth post regarding women bloggers. John Hawkins is just jealous that he doesn't have tits to flaunt. Controversy is his cleavage.

More on Pat Tillman: When Idiots Attack

[ed. note: I mistakenly identified Gonzales as a woman. The post has since been edited to correctly identify his gender] Rene Gonzales is a graduate student at UMass. He is from Puerto Rico where, apparently, soldiers are pendejos or idiots. Rene wrote an editorial for the school paper, the Daily Collegian. The title: Pat Tillman is not a hero: He got what was coming to him. Something in that heading told me to just stop reading there. Click the X, close the page, hit the back button; do anything but read it. Of course, I read it. And I am left with the conclusion that Rene Gonzales is, for all intents and purposes, a pendejo. Mr. Gonzales makes a big mistake in his editorial. He confuses his anti-Iraq war stance with the war in Afghanistan. Oh, there are many other mistakes in his article, both of fact and judgment. But this line struck my as particularly ignorant: For people in the United States, who seem to be unable to admit the stupidity of both the Afghanistan and Iraqi wars... Mull that over a minute while I go back a paragraph or two. bq. You know [Tillman] was a real Rambo, who wanted to be in the "real" thick of things. I could tell he was that type of macho guy, from his scowling, beefy face on the CNN pictures. Well, he got his wish. Even Rambo got shot in the third movie, but in real life, you die as a result of being shot. They should call Pat Tillman's army life "Rambo 4: Rambo Attempts to Strike Back at His Former Rambo 3 Taliban Friends, and Gets Killed." Let's put aside the juvenile scorn heaped upon Tillman just for the way he looked in a some pictures on CNN. Rene seems to believe that somehow, Pat Tillman was directly involved in whatever past relationship the U.S. had with the Taliban. Or, perhaps he is not railing against Tillman himself, but using him as a symbol of the United States in general. What a disservice he does to Tillman by describing him as such. Sure, there are gung-ho soldiers, the kind who envision themselves as modern day Rambos but, as with any other career out there, you will find the ultra-charged, alpha-worker within any group of people. I bet there are even computer programmers who pretend they are deep in the jungles of Cambodia, knife clenched in teeth, as they write code for word processing programs. Apparently, Tillman's urge to defend his country isn't borne out of some sense of dedication or duty, but of testosterone and caveman-like stupidity. As he tries to explain this theory, Gonzales blows a hole in it himself. bq. But, does that make him a hero? I guess it's a matter of perspective. For people in the United States, who seem to be unable to admit the stupidity of both the Afghanistan and Iraqi wars, such a trade-off in life standards (if not expectancy) is nothing short of heroic. Obviously, the man must be made of "stronger stuff" to have had decided to "serve" his country rather than take from it. It's the old JFK exhortation to citizen service to the nation, and it seems to strike an emotional chord. So, it's understandable why Americans automatically knee-jerk into hero worship. [emphasis added] And that is where Gonzales's cause loses whatever sliver of credibility it had. Perhaps Rene needs a reminder of why we went into Afghanistan? Unless he's one of those people who think the Mossad blew up the towers with the help of George Bush (and it's not too far fetched to think that he is), then, in his effort to drive home his anti-war stance, he made a bit of an error by calling the Afghanistan war stupid. Is it stupid to want to hunt down and kill those responsible for committing an act of terror that killed 3,000 people? Is it stupid to want to avenge the death of those innocent people? Is it stupid to try to drive the enemy out of their little caves and holes and make them pay for they did? Does Mr. Gonzales not realize that what the Taliban did on September 11, 2001 was an act of war? One would have to believe just that in order to reconcile his feelings that Mr. Tillman went to Afghanistan out of some macho, macho man pride and the US going over to that country was stupid. Let's read on. bq. However, in my neighborhood in Puerto Rico, Tillman would have been called a "pendejo," an idiot. Tillman, in the absurd belief that he was defending or serving his all-powerful country from a seventh-rate, Third World nation devastated by the previous conflicts it had endured, decided to give up a comfortable life to place himself in a combat situation that cost him his life. This was not "Ramon or Tyrone," who joined the military out of financial necessity, or to have a chance at education. This was a "G.I. Joe" guy who got what was coming to him. That was not heroism, it was prophetic idiocy. Ok, Gonzales. I'll bite. What do you think going into Afghanistan was all about? From that paragraph alone, one might believe that Gonzales views Afghanistan as one collective victim, and we should never have gone over there to defend ourselves because, well, they're poor. So we'll just let them be. Again, we see the whole "soldiers are just poor folk" theory. In Rene's world, people who join the army are either too poor to do anything else, or they have an inate desire to swing from vines while slashing at the air with bayonets in their hands and bloodlust in their hearts. I guess Rene has never met anyone who actually joined the armed forces to serve their country. In the world that Rene inhabits, no such thing exists. For Gonzales and most of his ilk, when a person says they joined the army out of duty to country and freedom, they just assume the person has been brainwashed by commercials or recruitment officers. Ramon and Tyrone are poor and stupid. bq. Tillman, probably acting out his nationalist-patriotic fantasies forged in years of exposure to Clint Eastwood and Rambo movies, decided to insert himself into a conflict he didn't need to insert himself into. It wasn't like he was defending the East coast from an invasion of a foreign power. THAT would have been heroic and laudable. What he did was make himself useful to a foreign invading army, and he paid for it. It's hard to say I have any sympathy for his death because I don't feel like his "service" was necessary. He wasn't defending me, nor was he defending the Afghani people. He was acting out his macho, patriotic crap and I guess someone with a bigger gun did him in. Once again, Gonzales assumes that Tillman was unable to think for himself (despite the fact that he graduated from college in 3 1/2 years with a 3.82 GPA) and was coerced by the television monster and the evil movie industry into joining the Rangers. It wasn't like he was defending the East coast from an invasion of a foreign power. THAT would have been heroic and laudable. Well, that invasion already happened. They swooped in on airplanes and killed 3,000 of us. If I read Gonzales's words correctly, he believes that we had no right to invade Afghanistan because it's not like they were looking to attack us again. If Gonzales believes that Tillman wasn't defending him, then perhaps he should go back to Puerto Rico and rest easy in the comfort that if and when we are attacked again, his lovely island of tropical breezes will probably not be on the minds of the terrorists. bq. Perhaps it's the old, dreamy American thought process that forces them to put sports greats and "larger than life" sacrificial lambs on the pedestal of heroism, no matter what they've done. After all, the American nation has no other role to play but to be the cheerleaders of the home team; a sad role to have to play during conflicts that suffer from severe legitimacy and credibility problems. Pat Tillman wasn't a hero because he was a "sports great." He was a hero because he sacrficed his life to defend ours. That's something Mr. Gonzales would never know about because it takes a special kind of selfishness to have his mentality. I would like to engage Gonzales in a debate. I want to ask him how the conflict in Afghanistan - the country, by the way, in which Tillman was killed - lacks legitimacy and credibility. I would like to know what he believes the response to 9/11 should have been. Wait, don't tell me. He thinks we should find out why the terrorists hate us so much so we can work on being nicer towards them. bq. Matters are a little clearer for those living outside the American borders. Tillman got himself killed in a country other than his own without having been forced to go over to that country to kill its people. After all, whether we like them or not, the Taliban is more Afghani than we are. Their resistance is more legitimate than our invasion, regardless of the fact that our social values are probably more enlightened than theirs. For that, he shouldn't be hailed as a hero, he should be used as a poster boy for the dangerous consequences of too much "America is #1," frat boy, propaganda bull. Their resistance is more legitimate than our invasion.. I had to read that several times to make sure I wasn't misunderstanding. Our invasion was a result of their invasion on us. What part of this concept does Mr. Gonzales not understand? Tillman's willingness to fight had nothing to do with an America is #1 concept; we were attacked, he wanted to defend and avenge. Like thousands upon thousands of others, Tillman put on a uniform and put his life on the line for us and for people like Gonzales, who only piss on their graves. bq. Al-Qaeda won't be defeated in Afghanistan, even if we did kill all their operatives there. Only through careful and logical changing of the underlying conditions that allow for the ideology to foster will Al-Qaeda be defeated. Ask the Israelis if 50 years of blunt force have eradicated the Palestinian resistance. For that reason, Tillman's service, along with that of thousands of American soldiers, has been wrongly utilized. He did die in vain, because in the years to come, we will realize the irrationality of the War on Terror and the American reaction to Sept. 11. The sad part is that we won't realize it before we send more people like Pat Tillman over to their deaths. Who didn't see that coming? It's about the root causes! They killed us because we aren't like them, so therefore we should try to understand them. Let's sit down and have some group therapy with the Taliban and get a good feeling for why they feel like anyone who isn't a Muslim should die. That ought to clear things up, but good! I really want to know what he thinks the reaction to September 11th should have been. I invite Mr. Gonzales to pack up his bags and move to Afghanistan, where he can spend all his time making nice with the terrorists, getting to know what their jihad against Americans is all about and learning how a suicide cult is born. At night, they can sit around the campfire and call American soldiers pendejos. I wonder who the real pendejo is? The guy who put his life on the line so Mr. Gonzales can live free and worry less about future terrorists attacks, or the college student who stands over the grave of the soldier who fought for him and spits upon that grave? However warmed I feel by the comments left underneath the editorial by readers who also think Mr. Gonzales is a bit of a, how do you say it...idiot, I still feel that cold chill of the anti-war left running down my back. Ever since Pat Tillman was killed and he became the poster boy for the "soldiers are baby killers" crowd, I feel more than ever like our country is experiencing the cracking of a fault line in our emotional and political infrastructure that will never be mended. Mr. Gonzales is just another seismic shake on that fault line. Pendejo, indeed. Update: Jim at Right Thoughts has more on Rene Gonzales.

April 28, 2004

get me back on board

Tomorrow. Once again, I apologize to everyone who has donated to Spirit of America by accepting my offer for post requests and questions answered. It's been a bit of a crazy week here, but I do hereby promise that tomorrow you will find all the answers to the burning questions asked (up to 100) and I will also begin the process of writing posts for everyone who paid for and suggested a specific topic. I thank you for your patience - but most of all, I thank you for your generosity. Please don't forget the drive for 50k. Thanks.

The War Dead

Dear Ted Koppel: Here are more names of war dead to add to your reading on Friday night. This was created by Alan of Avocare and originally appeared here. If anyone would like to compile a list of US war dead in Afghanistan, from the first Gulf War, the first WTC bombing and any terrorist attacks on American interests, I would be glad to add them to my list which I will most certainly send to ABC. I hope nobody takes this the wrong way - this is directed towards Koppel and ABC for their skewed sense of what a memorial is and is no way directed towards those brave souls who died while fighting for freedom in Iraq.

one step closer to the edge

And I'm about to......collapse. They moved our closing date to May 11th. Did I mention that the people who are going to rent the place we are in now are supposed to move in on May 12th? Please stop me from killing someone. If you can't do that, please start taking up a collection for bail money. Or lots of liquor. I'd even eat the brown acid at this point. Anything to escape reality. Serenity now! Thank you. _____________ P.S. You could also make me happy by going to vBay - the Spirit of Team marketplace - and taking one of the offers that will help get us to 50k in the next 24 hours.

Ted Koppel - War Profiteer

Ted Koppel has decided take some time during his show to read off the names of all the American soldiers killed in Iraq. Entitled “The Fallen,” the special “Nightline” broadcast will air FRIDAY APRIL 30 (11:35 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. ABC News will also simulcast this tribute live on its Jumbotron in New York City’s Times Square. ABC News Radio will air excerpts of the program. How sweet. How noble. How....transparent. Now, I know you're asking, what media bias? What are you talking about? See, I thought, as did many others, that Memorial Day would be a more fitting time to do this. Hey, even Koppel thought so. Then he said: "But we felt that the impact would actually be greater on a day when the entire nation is not focused on war dead," he said. Ok, let's put aside that statement for a moment and play a little guessing game. Does anyone know what happens this week in tv land? Beuler? Anyone? That's right, it sweeps month, beginning on Thursday! Do I detect ulterior motives - say something besides altruism and patriotism - from the esteemed Mr. Koppel? Does Memorial Day fall inside of sweeps month? No, it does not. The Washington Post asked ABC about the sweeps stunt. [Executive producer Leroy] Sievers and others we spoke with at ABC News insisted they did not realize that the May sweeps start tomorrow. Right. Show me an exec that doesn't know when sweeps starts and I'll show you an exec getting a pink slip. Oh, it's not just about ratings. And that's where the media bias comes in. Allah asks: bq. Do any of Allah's readers know if Ted did something similar for the troops killed in Afghanistan? Or in Mogadishu? Or when the mujahedeen blew up the Marine barracks in Lebanon, or when they killed 17 sailors in trying to sink the U.S.S. Cole? Or after Gulf War I? I looked and looked, Allah. The answer seems to be a resounding no. Then again, during those times, Ted probably wasn't looking to throw poison darts at a running president. Let's look at this line again: "But we felt that the impact would actually be greater on a day when the entire nation is not focused on war dead," he said. Just what kind of impact is Ted trying to make? From where I sit, it looks like it's the kind of impact designed to fan the flames of anti-war sentiment. Oh, and if you know of anyone who died in Iraq while defending freedom, but they did not die in actual combat, don't bother waiting up for the name to be read. There's no room for friendly fire or accidents in this sweeps extravaganza. "I have always felt, and I said it when I was in Iraq last year, that the most important thing a journalist can do is remind people of the cost of war," Mr. Koppel said in a telephone interview yesterday. Yes, and the most important thing a newscaster can do is to drive home those liberal talking points of hopelessnes and defeat. I'm not asking Koppel to do a two hour piece on Iraqis throwing flowers at the feet of U.S. soldiers. I'm just asking him to be honest in motives, and asking ABC to not take its viewers for idiots. Then again, ABC is also airing that Who Wants to Be an Adoptive Parent piece of garbage. Perhaps next week, Barbara Walters will read off the names of all those "insurgents" killed by US soldiers. She can auction off some Palestinian orphans while she's at it.

The Gathering of Forces

Forces have united.

The drive for 50k is on.

I'll just quote VC Team Captain Kevin:
Late last night I looked at the standings in the Spirit Of America Challenge and concluded that with less than 24 hours to go, it would be hard for the Victory Coalition to catch the Fighting Fusileers for Freedom!, not impossible - but then again not likely. Then a funny thing happened, I noticed that together the teams has raised nearly $36,000 in the last week, and in an e-mail to Dean wondered whether we could reach $50,000. Dean mentioned that the original goal was to raise $50,000, and sent a message to all the teams this morning to gage interest in working toward that common goal. After a host of e-mails all three teams agreed that working together on the last day we might be able to push the combined funds raised over $50,000. Of course the members of Team Spirit all would prefer that you donate through the existing teams donations pages, but at the end of the day it's the donations that matter not the teams. Each team will try to cross promote the others current offers in the push to reach $50,000 in donations. To minimize the number of places you have to visit to keep up on all the offers check these three central posts:
All of the current offers from the Victory Coalition and the Fighting Fusileers for Freedom are listed at vBay: Smash, who I can like again, has more. 50k. We can do it. We don't care who raises the most, we just want to reach 50k by tonight.

here's that handbasket we've been waiting for, hop in!

Ok, one post. Just because I had to. What the FUCK is wrong with Barbara Walters and the entire ABC management? God help us.

defcon 1!!

Yes, my stress levels have finally reached defcon 1. Don't expect much from me today, as packing/moving/ever changing closing dates/money have got me so worked up today just might be the day I finally kill someone with my bare hands. My goal is to get the entire kitchen packed today. My sub-goal is to not harm any human beings while I do it. Really, all I want to do is curl up on the floor and weep. I apologize for letting the SOA blogging things get so behind schedule. I promise to fulfill all requests in a timely manner. Hopefully they have broadband at South Oaks.

Don't Look So Surprised

Today being Saddam's birthday, I am reminded of one of my very favorite Faith No More songs, The Gentle Art of Making Enemies. It contains the lines: Don’t look so surprised Happy birthday...fucker My husband and I sing this to each other on our respective birthdays in lieu of the tired old "you look like a monkey and you smell like one, too." Anyhow, I discovered just today that you can create your own controversy, so to speak. So I put the two things together, and got this. hbf.jpg Well, that was fun. Back to packing.

When I Say Happy, You Say Birthday!

Go Saddam! It's your birthday!

I was trying to find a poetry generator that would let us all make birthday poems for Saddam, but I couldn't find one that fit the purpose (I wanted to be able to submit my own words). So, I'll just have to leave it up to you. I'm sure Saddam must be feeling quite dowtrodden today - after all, it's his birthday and his followers are being wiped out at an alarming rate, his favored city of Fallujah is burning and he's not really aging very well. Here's your chance to cheer him up. Write a one line message to dear old Saddam. Later on today, I'll collect all the messages, put them on a virtual card and then I'll email it to Red Cross and see if they can't get it to him. Show that birthday spirit! Let Saddam know just what the world thinks of him as he celebrates his 67th birthday with the cockroaches and prison guards. Update: JFH had a great idea: Everyone donate to Spirit of America in the name of Saddam!

today's readings

Hey. I'm busy writing a couple of things. May I direct you elsewhere meanwhile? Taking Chance Home: The following is Marine Lieutenant Colonel Strobl's account of escorting the remains of Lance Corporal Chance Phelps. It's a long and beautifully written and it deserves to be read in it's entirety. It's about Valor, Honor and Respect. The Shooting Gallery: Brent of the Ville has an awesome band - I've listened to his stuff before and trust me, it's great. Go buy the CD. Now. Iraq blogger Ays "celebrates" Saddam's birthday.

Last Day for SOA: When Lileks Talks, We Listen/Donate!

[Attention, James: I keep returning your emails, but your filter is bouncing back my Command Post address as spam. Spam!] lilekssoa.jpg Do what Mr. Lileks says. Join the Victory Coalition. He did. And he made this swell graphic. Today is the last day you will find me begging for Victory Coaltion donations. The Spirit of America challenged ends at 12:01 a.m. PST, which means 3am for me, but my computer will be long shut down by then. The standings so far: The Fusillis: $16334.49 The Victory Coalition: $11713.44 Liberty Alliance: $5880 Do you see what this means? No? It means that all told, the Blogosphere SOA Challenge has raised $33,927.93 for Spirit of America. All of our bickering, backstabbing and one upmanship has obviously paid off. Let's shift into high gear as we make the final turn on the Victory Coalition lap. Let's close this thing out with the Victory Coalition on top. Sure, we'd have to raise over $5,000 in about 18 hours, but what's your demographics, James? Are your readers rich? Anyone out there cater to the six figure income crowd? Know any celebrities? Slept with Tommy Mattola? Got anyone you could blackmail? Surely you must have some dirt on someone. Use it! If not, get the hell off of your lazy ass and go sell a kidney. Sacrfice, people! Now, just because this is the last day of the challenge, it certainly is not the last day I will be fulfilling my promises to the SOA/VC contributors. In fact, I'll be filling requests for weeks to come. Which is fine, because I'll have plenty to blog about for a while. I kind of had a bit of a malfunction with Outlook last night and lost a certain folder. So if you already donated to SOA and asked for a dedicated blog topic in return, and you have yet to see that topic addressed, please send me another email and I promise not to lose it this time. I'll finish with the questions at some point today, in between the packing and stressing. I am also going to throw out one more offer; it's not much, but it's something I'll have fun doing. First, is a cd (with mps, not audio files, because I can fit more that way), containing my (at least)50 favorite songs, complete with a "book" I will make to go with the CD, that will include annotations for each song - sort of like liner notes, plus a CD cover drawn by my very talented husband. Anyone who donates at least ten dollars today gets one. If you have already donate but did not cash in on one of our offers, you may use your receipt for this one. So, to recap: * Lileks says give to the Victory Coalition. * Challenge ends tonight * Many good offers still stand * We are in second place, but wish to be in first * You must resend any blog requests you made of me * Blog posts and question blogging will extend into the future, even if the contest is not * I have a new offer up today * This is the LAST day my entire weblog will be devoted to SOA. Make it count * You are all incredibly generous and I thank you, along with the Victory Coalition, the other alliances and Spirit of America.

April 27, 2004

39 through 42: It takes two to fake an orgasm!

Note: this post is part of today's Spirit of America challenge. To find out what's going on and what you missed already and how to join in, please start here and scroll up. All the questions are in one happy place. There will be no American Idol blogging tonight for two reasons: a) I refuse to watch it since the debacle of last week and b) even if Jennifer was still with us, I wouldn't watch it because, Gloria Estefan night? I think they ran out of themes. Which brings us to the next batch of questions, all having to do with one form of entertainment or another. 39. What movie have you watched a million times but you're kind of embarassed to say how much you loved it? Ok, I am going way out on a limb here. Like, so far out that no one will even come rescue me and I'll be left alone to be eaten by tree sloths. And I can't say I don't deserve it. So, you know that movie with Mary Kate and Ashley, the one that was a total rip off of Parent Trap? Yea, It Takes Two. Shut up. I love that movie. And the worst part is, it stars Steve Guttenberg and Kirstie Alley, who are probably my two least favorite actors of all time. I don't know why I love it, I just do. And if you tell anyone about this, I'll have to stick a fork in your eye. So I guess I should answer this one next: 40. Mary Kate or Ashley? I'm still not really sure which one is which but I can tell you that as soon as they turn 18, I'm going to dive right into that fantasy I've had on hold for a few years now. 41. Just to be a brat: who's the sexiest male blogger? Brat, indeed. So, what do we mean by sexy? We can rule out looks, because I don't really know what most bloggers look like. Oh sure, some of them have photos up, but isn't it just a little bit strange that most male bloggers seem to look like Brad Pitt? If I were blind, I would determine a person's sexiness by their ability to both make me laugh and make want to laugh. Two different things, you know. You know, I'm not going to answer this. By the above description, you can figure it out. 42. have you ever faked an orgasm? and please elaborate. Hon, I was the queen of fake orgams. It was the only way to end it quickly. Hey, I'm done. You getting there? Please? See answer to question number 19 for further reading. Ok, it's Chappelle time. _____ Don't forget the Art Sale! Yes, I'm a shameless whore for my husband. What wife isn't?

tiny bubbles

Jeff Goldstein of Protein Wisdom is looking for a new logo. So I made him one. Sure, he'll probably never use it. But it's the thought that counts. Maybe. Not safe for anyone. pwlogo.JPG And if you can't figure it out, don't ask.

Q&A 33-38: Once You Go Black

Note: this post is part of today's Spirit of America challenge. To find out what's going on and what you missed already and how to join in, please start here and scroll up. All the questions are in one happy place. 33. Speaking as a blogger, do you believe Adam and Eve had belly buttons? Can you support your conclusions? I would have to actually believe that Adam and Eve existed before I was able to espouse my views on their belly buttons, eh? However, if they did have belly buttons, I think that Adam would have been an outie. 34. What was your favorite subject in high school? English, by far. 35. Least favorite? Gym. Two words: square dancing. Ok, one more word: Uncoordination. 36.Gold or Silver? Silver. Something about gold just turns me off. Our wedding bands are silver. Though, if we went for our first ring choices, we would have these. I swear. See here. 37. Is black the new black? Yes, and it pisses me off, because I was into black back when it was unsavory to do so. And now everyone loves the black and I look like I'm trying to be stylish instead of trying to blend into the background. 38. What's the nastiest thing you've ever drank? A six day old cup of coffee that I had mistaken for a fresh cup of coffee. Rancid milk rules! _____ Don't forget the Art Sale! Yes, I'm a shameless whore for my husban