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December 31, 2002

i resolve to make every day bitchslap ted rall day

You all remember bitchslap Ted Rall day, don't you? That was a mighty fine time we had there. We need to do that more often.


Voting has slowed down as everyone strolls off to their debauchery and revelry.

Me, I'll be making the trek across the street to my parents house to ring in the new year with my family. This doesn't mean I don't drink; it means I drink twice as hard. You would, too if you had to spend the night listening to my father's jokes and my brother-in-law making blow job innuendos.

I've made some new year's resolutions. It's been my practice to make only resolutions I know I'll be able to keep. Therefore I resolve to:

Call Ted Rall a seething, rippling meatball of hatred and jealousy, among other things, at least once a day.

Make a new enemy every week.

Piss someone off, intentionally or not, every day of 2003.

Never listen to Creed on purpose.

Continue my shredding of the fine folks at Indymedia.

Question the existence of France on a daily basis.

Spend most of my hard earned money on comic books and action figures.

Bitch and moan about things I have no control over.

Fill my posts with gratuitous sex and violence.

Continue to have gratuitous sex tinged with violence.

Eat lots of dead animals and drive my SUV like I own the road.

Pretend to be in the process of quitting smoking.

Stalk Jim Treacher, Kevin Parrot and COOP.

Finish up the screenplay for Night of the Loving Dead and the as yet unamed graphic novel collaboration with my husband.

That's just for starters.

I'll start early tomorrow morning by purchasing an after-Christmas present for my husband, to go in tandem with this book. In the words on Coop's site: "If Coop shat a brick, this would be what came out!"

Maybe if I stalk him enough I could get him to sign it without shelling out the 200 bucks for the signed copy. Which leads me to my next resolution: more boob shots!

Wait, that was your resolution for me, wasn't it?

Anyhow, have a safe night. Take a lesson from Juan Gato and stay home in the dark instead of venturing out on the roads. And watch out for people groping your crotch and stealing your wallet while you wait in the freezing cold for a midnight terrorist attack.

Keep voting.

let's go to the polls

update 3 Ok. I've disabled the ability to vote numerous times in a row. I wanted it to be fun, not disturbing. Charles, have you ever considered using your power over people in other ways? Not evil, but not....good. Drop me a line, maybe you can join me on the dark side.

Trust your feelings.

Yes, it's here!

The Most Intriguing Bloggers of 2002 Poll: The final ten roundup.

Everyone single blog that was nominated is entirely worthy. However, it has been narrowed down the the ten most often nominated blogs. Head over here, cast your vote and let the democratic voting process* begin.

Please note: If you are going to link to the poll, please link to this page. Your readers will be directed there from here. Thank you.

*no recounts, no lawsuits, no pregnant chads, but you can vote as many times as you want. Electioneering is encouraged. Payoffs are accepted. Bribes are par for the course. Cheerleading is also encouraged. I never said this would be pretty.*

speaking of ted...

Tim Blair's predictions for 2003:

January 5th: Another American drone is shot down over Iraq. It is Ted Rall, on his way to Baghdad to act as a human shield.

June 19th: The music video for Christina Aguilera's latest release is banned after parents' groups complain about its "inappropriate language" and "vulgar images". Despite the ban, Cum Drunk Fuck Slut is the year's best-selling single.

You know the drill; read the rest.

ted rall: rippling meatball of hatred

For those of you who hold up Ted Rall as a spokesperson for the left, please run through some of these threads at TCJ to confirm my stance that Rall is nothing but a (to quote the delightful COOP) "seething, rippling meatball of hatred and jealousy, marbled with rich veins of inadequacy." Not to mention juvenile, unfunny and void of original thought. I mean, how is it that a guy who thinks calling someone a retard is a defense gets a syndicated column? His popularity mystifies me. Who the hell is his audience, anyhow? Are there that many 10 year old liberals?

thank you to Kevin for once again making me read another TCJ thread that left me minus five IQ points.

so sue me, i slept in

Yes, the much awaited poll is forthcoming. It's too early to count higher than ten, so you'll have to wait until at least a pot of coffee has made its way to my brain.

Today is my dad's birthday (everyone - happy birthday, dad!). I forgot to say happy birthday to my mom on Christmas Eve so (everyone) happy birthday, mom! Thanks.

I had a dream last night that as the ball dropped in Times Square at midnight, it cracked open when it reached the bottom and a group of gun-toting, explosive-wearing terrorists jumped out of the rubble and started screaming "jihad! jihad!" Unfortunately, the neighbor's dog woke me up at that point so I have no idea what happened after that.

I've lived in New York my entire life and never once have I gone into the city for the New Year's Eve celebration in Times Square. Why anyone would want to stand out in the freezing cold with half a million people, most of them trying to feel you up or steal your wallet as they brush up against you, is beyond me.

I can have just as much fun getting drunk at home and letting my husband feel me up. And he won't try to steal my wallet.

Yea, poll coming.

December 30, 2002

say good night, babs

I have to go to bed before I turn into a pumpkin. But I shall leave you with two three things:

This, which I made for Rachel Lucas in response to her posting Bab's annual holiday ornament

And a gentle reminder to get your nominations in before I get up tomorrow. Which is about 5am EST.

3. How to Rant: Learn by example.

best of 2002: the web

Expect lots of updates tonight while I ignore my kids who are probably going to fight to the death at some point this evening. I'll videotape if you want to.

I'll especially be updating this post tonight, which is meant to bring you my favorite new websites (non-blogs) of 2002. If you have any to mention, feel free.

I think I'm giving you guys way too much freedom with my blog. I'm sure I'll pay in the end.

Anyhow.

Best new website of 2002: Gawker

It is a live review of city news, and by news we mean, among other things, urban dating rituals, no-ropes social climbing, Condé Nastiness, downwardly-mobile i-bankers, real estate porn -- the serious stuff.

It reminds me of all the things I take for granted living so close to NYC. I need to get on the LIRR more often.

But what exactly is real estate porn?

poll update

Acidman is gunning for Most Intriguing Blogger. He called out his big guns. Meanwhile, Laurence is begging people not to vote for him. I think he just doesn't want to be on the cover of the special issue of Blogger People magazine.

As it stands now, Laurence is in the lead with a pack of wild blogs trailing him.

I am discounting all the votes for myself. Although I appreciate them, I don't think it's fair that I be in my own poll. Y'all are just trying to butter me up, anyhow.

If you haven't put in your nominations yet, now is the time. Tomorrow I will cull from the list the top nominees and put up a poll to determine the final standings.
Of course, there is no prize except for bragging rights. And that cover page.

update: Watch out, Acidman - Denbeste is making a run for your spot.

more required reading

Another required reading of 2002 that I found just in time, thanks to Meryl.

An Israeli blogger responds to a detractor:

I truly believed we could live side by side in peace and equality, sharing and growing together. I still hope (more than anything) that the Palestinians will put down their arms and cease their violence, and then we can once again renew our difficult but not impossible historical attempt at working out our differences peacefully.

Until that time, we are at war.

musical moments of 2002: in a word -bleh

2002 was the year I almost stopped caring about new music. It was the year I dragged out every cd I already owned and vowed to stop buying music until everyone agreed that The White Stripes would not save rock and roll and New Found Glory's minimal success was not a new punk uprising.

I used to live at Mr. Cheapo's record store. Everyone knew my name. I would walk in on a Tuesday and there would be a stack of new cds for me to browse through, with some put aside because Mr. Cheapo knew what I liked. Tuesdays were a thrill.

I'm just not feeling it anymore.

I bought very few cds this year, opting instead to drag out the music I had neglected for a while. I rediscovered some old (or relatively old) favorite - Drain STH, Type O Negative, Skinlab, Sepultura and a whole bunch of 80's new wave.

As for the music I did plunk down money for, here are my favorites from the bunch:

Meshuggah - Nothing
Queens of the Stone Age - Songs For the Deaf
And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - Source Tags & Codes
Nappy Roots - Watermelon, Chicken and Gritz
Beck - Sea Change
The Soundtrack of our Lives - Behind the Music
Neko Case – Blacklisted
Taproot - Welcome

Song I didn't want to like but I sang it anyhow: Nelly - It's Getting Hot in Here

Most annoying music related things in 2002

Creed
American Idol
Any Whitestripeshivesvinesyeahyeahs sounding music
Pop Punk
Andrew W.K.

Best music moment of 2002:

Nick Cave is a god among men. I have been to over 300 concerts in my lifetime, from crappy local bands in venues that looked like a barn to huge extravaganzas of U2 proportions, and this show was far and away the best I have ever seen.

Cave seizured his way around the stage, bumping and grinding and looking at times like a man in the throes of an convulsive nightmare. Every song was a story, every note a masterpiece, every word full of passion. He went through a great mix of slow and fast, ballads and crazed stories woven together in an incredible tapestry of talent. The words "stage presence" do not do justice to the ego this man brings onto the stage with him. He commands your attention and mesmerizes you into believing you are living the song with him. If you ever have the opportunity to see Nick Cave live, do not hesitate. Go.





Remember, you have until midnight tonight (actually til early tomorrow morning, being that I'm rarely still awake at midnight) to get your votes in for
Most Intriguing Blogger.

once again, a notice

The next person that leaves a ten mile long URL in my comments gets their ass kicked and their IP blocked.

If you do not know how to leave a URL using html, then don't. Email me instead.

I've only repeated this about a bazillion times.

I am not kidding. Do not incur my wrath today.

required reading 2002, my choices

Another installment in my required reading of 2002:

This piece from Rossi (everyone should be reading Rossi) on being a Jew

Now Passover has a sibling; “The Sabbath Massacre.”

So I say to these villains in the name of holy-ness.

What exactly can you find in these acts that is holy?

How can you call yourself victims?

How can you call yourselves martyrs?

How can you call any of these acts heroic?

I'm pretty sure if you look up "heroic" in the dictionary it will not say, "One who attacks innocent people while they are returning from prayer.

Read the rest.

new toy

Blame Fred for these new html toys:



don't forget to send your COV entries to Solonor




yea, i'm bored. why do you ask?


BEFORE ANYONE DID ANYTHING,
I
DID EVERYTHING

CONSPIRACY THEORIES

for

Dummies

santa and snoop, together at last

Ladies and gentlemen, Santa has left the building.

By the way, nominations for Ten Most Intriguing Bloggers of 2002 will be accepted through midnight tonight.

Submissions for Required Reading 2002 will be accepted through Thursday. Please note that this particular year end review is by no means a poll or a contest. Every blog link or article sent will be posted in the roundup, regardless of content, lack of taste, ideology or questionable research.

Thanks for playing. Drive through.

Loving you is like loving the undead

Justin (my husband) and I have been collaborating on a graphic novel type story. He is illustrating, I am writing. He is a gifted artist, as you will see when the domain I bought him for Christmas (to exhibit his artwork) is up and running.

So last night, during our wee hours brainstorming session, he had an idea for a movie.

Night of the Loving Dead.

Goth kids v. Emo kids in a zombie free-for-all.

Think of the soundtrack. Julianna Theory v. Sisters of Mercy. The possibilities are endless. The cross-over factor will ensure a huge audience.

Well, it was a good idea when we thought of it at 3am.

think of the children

Rangel calls for mandatory military service

Hmm..Does Rep. Charles Rangel (D-New York) think we need to shore up our defense to prepare for future wars?

No.

Does he think mandatory military service will instill some sense of patriotism, pride and duty in the youth of America?

No.

Is he worried about declining enlistment in the armed forces?

No.

So why does Rep. Rangel want to institute mandatory service? Because, Rangel states:

such legislation could make members of Congress more reluctant to authorize military action.

I see. Let's make everyone over the age of 18 serve some time in the armed forces in order to make Congress say no to military action. Let's put our sons and daughters out there in the hopes that some congressmen will say "not with my child" and vote against any future invasions/wars.

Pardon me for use of hyperbole, but I think that's tantamount to using a child as a shield in a gunfight.

What does Rep. Rangel intend to say if his idea is instituted, a draft is enacted, a vote to go to war comes to the floor and Congress votes to fight? Will he say "oops, bad idea" and go back to the drawing board?

I'm not going to get into the issue here of whether or not a draft is needed or if it is a good/bad idea. The issue is that Rangel has obviously failed to think his flight of fancy through.

"When you talk about a war, you're talking about ground troops, you're talking about enlisted people, and they don't come from the kids and members of Congress," he said.

"I think, if we went home and found out that there were families concerned about their kids going off to war, there would be more cautiousness and a more willingness to work with the international community than to say, 'Our way or the highway.' "

Basically what he is saying is that his fellow congressmen and women care only about their families and not about the families of their constituents. I think every member of Congress should be outraged by Rangel's assertions.

Rangel did not provide specifics of his proposal.

Well, he did in a way. The specifics would be to for Rangel to use the military-age children of the members of Congress as hostages in his kidnapping of the attempt to oust Saddam from power.

The outcome of this would be rather interesting. I can't imagine that any member of Congress who voted in favor of military use of power would suddenly change their minds if a draft was enacted. And if they did it would certainly say a lot about their convictions.

As for Rangel, I think he is way off base and out of line with this idea. The motive and intentions are all wrong.

an extremist by any other name

A suspected Islamic extremist shot dead three U.S. humanitarian workers and wounded a fourth at a missionary hospital in southern Yemen, according to a hospital spokeswoman

Well, at least it's good to know that CNN doesn't hedge on using the word terrorist only when writing about Israelis being killed.


"One of the eyewitnesses there said that he came in the office as if he had a child beneath his jacket [but] it turned out to be ... a semi-automatic rifle that he used against them," [Walid Al-Saqqaf, editor-in-chief of the Yemen Times] said.

Al-Saqqaf reported that the gunman tracked down one of the victims in a separate room and shot him. "It seemed somewhat a pre-planned attack," he said.

Somewhat? A guy hides a weapon under his jacket so it appears to be a child, hunts down his victim and shoots him and several other people - all Americans - well, it doesn't take an investigative reporter to figure out it was pre-planned.

Yemen, the ancestral homeland of al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, is a hotbed for extremist Islamic militant groups, finding refuge in the country's mountainous, tribal strongholds.

Extremist Islamic militant groups is such an cumbersome phrase. Let's try, for editorial reasons, to cut it down to one word. Say....terrorists. Yea, that's the ticket.

December 29, 2002

my own MVP (most valuable post) of 2002

I was talking to Juan Gato (well, emailing) and for some reason, I started thinking about my childhood. Which leads me to my own post of the year.

The post was written in February, 2002 and it led to a gradual emotional breakdown that culiminated in my finally getting on some anxiety medication in March.

In many ways, the post that made me face my past and all its scars made me face the future. It healed me. Don't let anyone every tell you that having a blog is a silly hobby. This space has been worth a million therapy sessions for me.

Once I wrote those words and found the nerve to post them, I went into a tailspin. Of course, it is always darkest before the dawn and I came out of that tailspin with a dark part of myself purged and thrown away. That is why the following post - one of very personal, very intense memories - was my favorite, most important piece of writing I had to offer in 2002.

I was walking across the street from my mother's house last night when I saw him. He was standing in front of his father's house, diagonally across from where I was, taking something out of his trunk. It had been several years since I saw him last, and many more since I looked him in the eye. I would not look at him this time, either. I put my head down and picked up my pace, trying to get out of his line of sight before he picked his head up and saw me. He would want to say hello, like the last time. He would want to make small talk about kids and school and old friends, as if nothing bad ever happened. As if all that went on didn't matter anymore.

He's not the only one I see. A few of them stayed in the neighborhood, got married, had kids, got divorced. I see them up at the school sometimes, picking up their kids. I see them in the grocery store or at Little League games and it's always the same. They talk. I nod. I avoid their eyes. I go home and cry.

I can't let those years go. I was small when it started, probably in kindergarten. If anyone ever tells you that little rhyme "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me," well tell them they are full of shit. Obviously they never had words thrown at them like weapons.

If it wasn't the words, it was the objects. Literally sticks and stones. Back in those days kids walked home from school by themselves. Even at 5. They weren't yet teaching about stranger danger. And they certainly weren't teaching about classmates being evil little bastards. The offenders would hide in the bushes, behind fences, wherever they could crouch unseen. When I walked past, they would jump out, not to scare me, but to throw things at me. And then the names would start.

This went on for many years. I learned how to spot them. I learned how to walk on the other side of the street. I learned how to convince my mother to pick me up from school. But I never learned how to use my voice. How to tell them to stop. It wasn't just the walk home from school. It was walking to to the store. Being in front of my own house. Trying to play outside. They harassed me daily, at first just two of them and then a whole crowd.

It crossed over into school eventually, and I became one of those kids. The kind with no friends and no social life except for what her mother arranged for her. Even then, those play dates were awkward and distressing. Frankly, I didn't want friends. I didn't need friends. I was happy to just go home and sit in my room and read. All I ever needed was a book. At least that's what I told myself.

As we got older, past the point where you could chalk off the behavior to kids being kids, the teasing and name calling persisted. But I was partly to blame at this point. I let it happen. I took it. I actually hung out with them after school and stood there while the belittled me and I convinced myself that I was part of the gang and this is how they all treated each other.

Sometimes, out of desparation to be included or to be liked or to feel wanted, you do things that you probably shouldn't. And those things are taken advantage of. You try to prove your worth, to prove you belong, and you do it in ways that only serve to cheapen yourself. But you don't realize it at the time.

These things went on for years, until I finally left the school system and moved on to private school and turned my back on those people and that life.

And now, all these years later, I wonder. I see these people around town and I wonder. Do they remember all of this? Do they know what they did to me? Do they have any idea of the effect that their words and actions had on me then and how they would effect me for the rest of my life?

I mean, here it is, almost 25 years from the last time I hung out with them, and I still can't get over it. I still can't look at them. What do they see when they look at me and try to make that small talk? Do they see the same person they heaped abuse on when we were little? Do they think at all about those days? I doubt it. I doubt that if I ever brought it up with any one of them that they gave it any thought in the past 25 years. Because it didn't effect them. They went on with their lives and they forgot about me and those days and the rocks and the names and the things that went on in Jimmy's backyard.

I want to tell them. I want them to know that even today, their words are with me. That everything they did back then is still with me, in my fears and my self-esteem issues and the way I view men, and myself on a whole. I bet they don't know that. Because they think they were just being kids. They didn't know they were setting the course for my entire life.

I'll continue to see them around town and I'll continue to avoid them in my day to day life, even though they continue to be part of my nightmares and part of my psyche. There's really no escaping your past. I'd like to say I'm over the things that happened so long ago. But I'm not and I never will be and I don't know if it would make me feel any better to know that they have some guilt over what they did or that they do think about it and feel badly about it and that it stayed with them as much as it stayed with me. It probably would only make me feel worse.

So this is me trying to purge myself of all of this. It's the first time I've written about it, even if the words are very vague and scattered. I'm trying to let it go. Maybe this is the beginning of doing that.


February 20, 2002 06:30 AM

ahem

Please remember what I said about nominating bloggers for the Most Intriguing Blogger Awards.

So the most intrgiuing bloggers would not be the ones who are the most popular, or the most prolific or the most recognizable. They would be the bloggers who are, obviously, disturblingly provacative, arouse your interest or curiosity or, in general bring you back to their site again and again because you are always wondering what they will say or do next. They make you think and make you want to leave comments or email them. They present issues that interest you or at least make you have an interest in something you previously did not. They make you want to know more about them, what makes them tick, what lies behind the words and the keyboard, even if you don't agree with them, even if you hate them.

I'd like to see someone step up and nominate someone they can't stand or don't agree with, yet read their site daily. For instance, one of my nominees would be Oliver Willis, although we disagree on everything from politics to football. I'm not saying you have to love your enemies, just admit they intrigue you.

Also, when leaving links in comments, please use html or just email me the link if you don't know how to use html. Mess up my sidebar again and you will get a 2x4 upside your head. Thank you.

shall we play a game?

I've been watching the Packers get crushed by the Jets and now I need to be amused. First person to make a snarky comment about the game and/or The Packers in general gets their IP banned. I am dictator here. Thank you.

We are playing What Would Homer Do? Want to play? Here's the first card.

askhomer1.jpg

Oh the hell with this. I'm going to take my frustrations out the only way I know how. I'll be back after I troll the news sites looking for something that makes me mad enough to say a whole bunch of curses.

Ten Most Intriguing Bloggers of 2002

In the comments on my post about People's most intriguing people of 2002, Sunidesus suggested having a 25 most intriguing bloggers poll. How...intriguing.

25 is probably too many, so let's go with ten.

Now, let's remember - unlike People Magazine - the meaning of intriguing:

intriguing

adj 1: disturbingly provocative; "an intriguing smile" [syn: challenging] 2: capable of arousing interest or curiosity

So the most intrgiuing bloggers would not be the ones who are the most popular, or the most prolific or the most recognizable. They would be the bloggers who are, obviously, disturblingly provacative, arouse your interest or curiosity or, in general bring you back to their site again and again because you are always wondering what they will say or do next. They make you think and make you want to leave comments or email them. They present issues that interest you or at least make you have an interest in something you previously did not. They make you want to know more about them, what makes them tick, what lies behind the words and the keyboard, even if you don't agree with them, even if you hate them.

Yes, they are intriguing right down to the specific definition of the word.

Nominate as many as you want and in a day or so, I'll gather up those with the most nominations and install a poll to come up with The Ten Most Intriguing Bloggers of 2002.

Make this worth my while or it won't go. I need several nominations by tonight or I'm going to blow the idea off, as I'm still working on the Required Reading 2002 list and that's been a bit of work.

Oh, try to give a reason with your nomination. I don't want twenty comments with people leaving links to their best friend's blogs, just because.

lies, damn lies and conspiracy theories

It's been a while since I trolled my bloglist of lefty conspiracy sites, so I took a stroll over to VOXnyc today.

Since we last visited Mr. Voxfux, it seems that some evil government type people swooped in on his headquarters, raided his house and stole all his computers and files.

Mr. V. lives on Long Island and I thought this odd that I never heard anything about on the local news, so I called up a friend who "knows about these things" to find out a bit more. My friend in the know had heard nothing about this startling news. I'm so surprised.

Anyhow, that's not my issue with Mr. V. today. The latest claptrap from his keyboard is his waging all out war on the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy:

This thread is for voxnyc's warriors to share your strategies and tactics and victories on how to disrupt, divert, and cause dissent among their ranks. Think big. Go after the largest mediums possible - CNN, Fox, New York Times, but don't forget about two-bit crackpots like Rush Limbaugh and the other talk radio nutcases. And of course don't forget to attack some of the big conservative Internet forums that hide under the cover of names that they've hijacked and perverted - names like patriot, liberty, heritage, family. Of which these scoundrels have nothing to do with. You know the ones. The bigger the better. Infiltrate, pose as one of them and attack. I financed the disruption of Roudolph Guiliani’s weekly radio program for years - the screeners there kept trying to filter out my associate but he would expertly disguise his voice, acting like a suitable sycophantic fan of Guiliani, and get right past the screener only to blast the lying fraud Guiliani every week.

Lets make it a democratic tradition to take these bastards to task, have fun and excitement - but make it smart and clever - remember, the goal is to expose this lying filth for what they are and awaken the sleeping masses to what’s really going on. So don't alienate your intended audience - the American people. NO ANTI AMERICANISM - JUST ANTI LYING FILTH.

Now, here's my favorite part: Be intelligent so that you emerge as a hero and not the enemy. Do it with style. Remember, crashing some blowhard like Rush Limbaugh's radio program and pegging him for the blowhard that he is, is 100% legal.

News flash, Voxie: People who call radio shows just to clash with the host of the show or call him names are generally not seen as intelligent, nor do they come off as heroes unless, of course, your kind of hero is the type of person who thinks he wins points by name calling.

These New World Order retards are histories' single biggest group of fuck up's ever.

Oh, retards! I love your fifth grade vocabulary, Vox. And by the way, it would be fuck ups, not fuck up's. Intelligence, dear Voxie. Try it. Also, if the Republicans the Right are the single biggest group of fuck ups ever, what does the November elections say about the far left and the Democrats they wanted to elect? What do you call someone who falls below fuck up?

(Remember the old man Bush Sr. - He's so pumped full of psychoactive pharmacuedicals - Has been since his days as VP - that all he can do is screw up. I suspect the son is a big pharmaceudical user as well. (Although I cannot be sure))

That's pharmacueticals. Also, I hate double parentheses. Next time try using brackets for parenthetical material inside of other parenthetical material. Or maybe next time, try not to make statements you can't back up with nothing more than "I cannot be sure."

Now for the comments on Vox's call to arms:

how do you think most americans will do this though? The best most can do is watch donahue, a left-leaning program

Ha. Hahahha. Excuse me while I choke on my coffee. Do people still watch Donahue? Hasn't he been cancelled?

If you suggest for example that Sept 11th was carried out by the Government you are usually viewed as a conspiracy nut but hold fast to your beliefs and give it to the dumb fucks anyway you can.Most of the UK media channels have forums where you can spread the word of what really happened on Sept11th and the true direction that the NWO is leading us.

Pray tell, what really happened on September 11? Are there people who really believe this crap? Even I, who was still a (small l)iberal at that point, dismissed any theories that 9/11 was carried out by our own government.

Maybe you could contact the NATION OF ISLAM and ask them to post some of your articles on their website www.finalcall.com.I'm not a member of the Nation I'm a big supporter and a big fan of Minister Lewis Farrakhan.

No comment necessary.

I stopped reading the comments at that point because most of them were incomprehensible. As I looked at the post below the one linked above, my eyes gazed upon a picture of New York City backed by a mushroom cloud. Intrigued, I decided to -against my better judgment - read the article.

Secret US Based Forces plan to ignite Nuclear Bomb in New York
as pretext for global power grab
by voxfux

The analysis is clear - The sheer volume of the psychological info-warfare now being released into the media and principally targeted at the American people contains within it key indicators that point to an eminent inside attack.

After a large section of New York has been destroyed and contaminated, Americans in the midwest and south will rally in outpourings of emotion and support for the mass exodus of New Yorkers to different parts of the country. Americans will be glued to CNN as it delivers the gripping images of a valient George Bush fearlessly entering the radiation perimeter in full radiation gear, (the best available) live. Then after a commercial break (And terror warnings for Homeland "Security" and the TIPS "snitch on your neighbor program") we will focus on the compassionate George Bush visiting a hospital where a young girl, suffering from radiation sickness, is being treated. We can see the American people in a rage of anger. Fraudulent polls will show 97% of Americans want to use nuclear weapons on some country - any country. And we can see the rousing images of Bush and his running mate, probably Rudolf Guilianni, during the next election as they sweep across the South and Midwest locking up state after state sailing to an easy victory.

This is almost certainly how it’s going to play out.

Then it goes on and on and on, and endless litany of things that even most democrats I know would shake their heads at.

George Bush, Sr. planned the assasination attempt on Ronald Reagan.

All the news is fake, handed to reporters directly from the CIA.

If Bush's popularity goes down, he will have his operatives plant a "dirty bomb" in the U.S. in order to get his approval rating up again.

Bush will have dirty bombs planted in the Northeast in order to get people to migrate south into Texas, thus making the local Texas economy boom.

When the article started using words like "gatekeeper" and "doppleganger," I gave up.

My question is this: What kind of people follow someone like Vox? I view him as a cultish figure; mysterious, benevolent to those who follow him, yet ruthless to those who don't. He has given no definitve proof for any of his beliefs and most of his rantings are nothing more than far left propaganda. So why would anyone take his word at truth? Is the distrust in American government so ingrained in the readers of that site that they would believe anything Vox put out before them?

Do you believe any of it?

bring out your dead

I've been perusing the entries for Laurence's ATS Dead Pool contest. I have to say, I'm amused by some of the choices.

When it comes to contests and competition, I do not fool around. Just ask Bill Quick. My choices, made after careful research and using a mathematical formula, are all people who have a seriously good chance of kicking the bucket in 2003. For the record, those people are:

Ali, Muhammed; Auerbach, Red; Berra, Yogi; John Paul II; Koop, C. Everett; Mandela, Nelson; Reagan, Ronald; Salinger, J.D.; Strawberry, Daryl

Had I, like other people, gone with wishful thinking, the list would have been quite different. And had there not been that caveat to the rule that you couldn't actually kill one of your choices yourself, Ted Rall might have been on my list. But Jane Finch did pick Mr. Rall and I don't think there is anything in the rules that says I can't help her out.

(all links to players and their picks can be found on the ATSDP page)

Chuck Simmons made a wise choice with Courtney Love. The path to self-destruction is a swift one. Courtney's time is nigh. The days are also numbered for Whitney Houston in that respect, and a few people made the wise decision to include her.

Seven people chose Eminem. I have news for those seven - people like that do not die. They stick around to annoy you on purpose.

Nine people chose Keith Richards and I think that pick should be disqualified because the walking dead shouldn't count.

Jimbo had some odd choices with Cokie Roberts and Shakira. Do I sense a bit of disdain there? Cokie Roberts, that wouldn't shake my world. But Shakira - as a woman who appreciates the female form in all it's beauty, I would be saddened to not have Shakira's shaking ass to look at anymore.

Alex Knapp chose another, yet skankier, ass-shaker, Christina Aguilera. Good pick, she will obviously die from pnuemonia if she doesn't put some clothes on. Alex also picked Ben Affleck. He may be on to something. I think Ben is suffering from some kind of disease that makes his forehead grow lareger every day. It's the size of a small country now.

Stacy all chose Ben Affleck for her list. She had some rather interesting picks to go along with Ben, including Anna Nicole Smith who, once she gets off whatever medication she's on might die of embarassment when she sobers up and realizes what she has become, and Liam Gallagher, who very well might be killed by his own brother some day. That should be worth double points.

Kim Du Toit, not suprisingly, chose Sarah Brady and I won't even get into the ironic way in which I am assuming Kim envisions Mrs. Brady's demise. He also picked Helen Thomas. Some day I will be watching C-Span and Helen will keel over right there on tv and a few reporters, also in dead pools, will stand up and pump their fists in the air. And then Ari Fliescher will somehow be blamed for her death.

Jack, what's with Cedric the Entertainer? You have something up your sleeve?

Bret went with J.Lo, who just may die from exhaustion while running away from yet another marriage. Don Knotts is still alive?

Other strange picks included Montel Williams, Wynona Rider, Britney Spears, Perry Farrell (note to Mari, I think the drugs keep Perry in a constant state of limbo - he is neither dead nor alive), Macauley Culkin, Phil Donahue, Donald Trump, Oprah Winfrey, Maureen Dowd and Andrew Sullivan. I think the Sullivan pick was rather mean spirited and I will refrain from comment on that.

Note to Saren: Ann Coulter will not die. She sold her soul a long time ago and will thus live forever, tormenting liberals and conservatives alike with her special brand of vitriol.

disclaimer: For the more virtuous among us, I do not wish these people dead (for the most part) nor do I wish that horrible, deadly things will fall upon them. I do not condone the killing of celebrities/politicians for financial gain, nor do I condone assasinations of any sort in order to win a contest. However, I am all about having fun at the expense of others and laughing death in the face. Death is inevitable, folks, and with most of these people it will happen sooner rather than later. Personally, I think Daryl Strawberry should be a man and take one for the team. He was a selfish ballplayer his whole life. Now would be the time for him to prove that he can step up to the plate and win one for the Gipper. Me being the Gipper, of course.

You may commence with the hate mail/comments now.

i wonder what brad pitt had for dinner

People Magazine's 25 Most Intriguing People of 2002

intriguing

adj 1: disturbingly provocative; "an intriguing smile" [syn: challenging] 2: capable of arousing interest or curiosity

What do Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, Julia Roberts and Sarah Jessica Parker all have in common?

Why yes, they are intriguing. According to People Magazine, at least.

Perhaps it is just me, but the above mentioned people arouse no curiosity or interest from me. Of all the people in the world, why would someone find Jennifer Aniston the most intriguing person of 2002? In order to be curious about someone, wouldn't there have to be some sort of mystery about them, something left to wonder about them?

When someone is on the cover of every magazine, the subject of every entertainment show at some point and has been covered in a plethora of "undercover" biographies, what is left to imagine? What is left to intrigue?

Perhaps it is because I am not a fan of Friends that I find the inclusion of Aniston silly at best. Maybe it's because I was never a big fan of Julia Robert's flashy smile or Sarah Jessica Parker (except in Square Pegs) and I despise Sex in the City, or that I know J.Lo is a serial fiance with a string of crappy movie choices behind her that I question the integrity of this list.

Are we, as a nation, so obsessed with Hollywood and its stars, so completely smitten with celebrity and beauty that we choose entertainment personalities over anyone else when looking back at the newsmakers and interesting personalities of the year?

And what is Britney Spears still doing on a list like this? Hasn't she been declared a has-been yet? Isn't she one crappy single away from porn stardom?

Rosie O'Donnell stopped being intriguing from the first words she spoke on her talk show.

Chelsea Clinton? Don't know what she's up to and don't care.

Jimmy Carter? The only thing that intrigues me about him is my visions of stuffing his mouth so full of peanuts he will never be able to speak in public again.

Saddam? Nothing intriguing about him because it's all out in the open. I don't spend my nights wondering what makes the man tick, because it's obvious what does: power. Now, if you were to include his viscious, blood-hungry son Uday on the list, I would be more inclined to agree with the choice. But this is People magazine, and we wouldn't want to scare the readers away with thoughts of torture.

Charles Moose? Most people stopped caring about him the minute CNN stopped scrolling constant sniper updates on the tv screen.

The Osbournes? Ozzy was intriguing to me when I was 13 and was fascinated by this bat-biting prince of darkness. Now, I just look at him and see my youth in the guise of an old man.

I find Dr. Phil intriguing if only for the fact that I can't figure out why people worship every word that he utters. He is a condescending show-man who has probably harmed more relationships than he cured. Why do people hang on his every word when I think he's just making the shit up as he goes along sometimes, often making his guest feel worse than they did to start out?

I suppose, as one who has never take to reading The Star or The Enquirer, that I am just failing to understand America's fascination with celebrities, at least not to the depth that anyone should care what Brad Pitt had for lunch or what style bra - if any - Drew Barrymore wore to the Oscars.

I just think there has to be more intriguing people than most of those that made the list.

December 28, 2002

best of is a subjective term

In reference to my collecting the best of the blogs and related stories for 2002, someone asked if I had my own personal favorite post from this year - something I wrote.

I don't know. I never thought about it and I didn't intend to put one of my own posts onto the list.

Do you have a favorite, something I wrote that made you think or laugh or want to drop an anvil on my head?

talk dirty to me

It's good to be on AIM again, especially talking to Melly.

Especially when, after not speaking to her in months on AIM, our conversations picks right back up where they left off:

melandthebean: the pickle goes in me bum
comixho: ohhhh pickled butt plugs!

Thanks, I'll be on AIM all night. Talk dirty to me.

destroy capitalism, but wait until you drop a few bucks at my bar

So, a guy walks into a bar.

Say, it's called The DNA Lounge in San Francisco.

Now, say this DNA Lounge has an ATM machine.

Guy walks up to the ATM machine so he can get some money to spend on drinks at this establishment. As he inserts his card, a message -one of several different messages - appears on the screen.

Suprise suprise:
The government lies
.

He takes his card out and tries again, wondering if he saw right. Another message flashes:

Destroy capitalism: Smash the state.

The guy looks around, waiting for a punchline. And then he realized, there is no punchline.

The owner of the DNA Lounge has programmed the ATM machine to cycle through four different messages. The top of the screen always reads: SUBMIT - CONFORM - OBEY-MARRY AND REPRODUCE-NEVER QUESTION. The receipt the machine gives you after your transaction has a header that reads: SHOPPING IS NOT CREATING YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU OWN.

Now, the owner's opinion is his own and, as he has a contract to rent the ATM machine and he owns the space in which the machine resides, he has a right to state that opinion in whatever way he wishes. Even if it means shoving it in the faces of ever person who uses the ATM.

So, one would surmise that the owner of the DNA Lounge, by virtue of his messages in the ATM, would wish to destroy capitalism and he believes that spending your money on shopping is, how shall we say...evil. Or something to that effect.

Interesting concept for a man who owns a business which depends on people spending money.

$25 to get in the door if you would like to see their sex show which is -my word! sponsored by people who sell things. Presumably these items are sold for cash. Capitalism at work.

And what's this? The DNA Lounge website has a merchandise page!

DNA Lounge t-shirts have been authorized for mass consumption. Scientific tests prove that wearing Official DNA Lounge Merchandise makes you stronger, healthier, and more desirable. These fine products are available at coat-check every night we're open, or you can order them online, below.

Oh, yes. Very tongue in cheek. Very wry humor. But merchandise nonetheless. $15 a pop for these t-shirts that must be the very hippest in attire for San Fran anti-capitalists.

SHOPPING IS NOT CREATING YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU OWN.
DESTROY CAPITALISM. SMASH THE STATE.
SURPRISE SUPRISE, THE GOVERNMENT LIES
(but don't worry if you're buying DNA Lounge wear or spending money on drinks at our state-of-the-art bar because we only mean destroy capitalism as long and shopping sucks when it doesn't apply to the DNA Lounge making a buck off of you and the state may lie but we are still nice little people who conform to all state code laws because when we mean smash the state we only mean for you to do it, making you conform to our way of thinking, even if we don't follow it ourselves, because, after all, we may come off as free-thinking, far left, peace, love and classless society lovers, but we really are just money-loving capitalist pigs ourselves. But hey, that won't bring in the Bay area liberals now, would it?)

Well, that's what it should say.

my year in comics, part one: Preacher

preacher_8_ger.gif
My all time favorite comic is the Preacher series. I've read it from the beginning, but starting after the first collected came out, I began to wait for the collected volumes - still collecting the single series - and read those instead. Waiting sometimes seemed like torture, but I prefer to read comics in chunks instead of single issues.

For some reason, I never bought the collected #8 or #9, the last two in the series, even though I bought the singles. So, for the longest time, the Preacher story was left hanging in my mind.

For Christmas, Justin bought me 8 and 9. Since Christmas night, I have been reading the entire collected series, from start to finish. Like a good book.

Actually, this has been better than most books I read this year. Great character development by Garth Ennis; good writing and a twisting, turning story line. Steve Dillon's artwork and Glenn Fabry's covers do the story justice, setting the mood for each story line and bringing the cast of characters to life in such detail that they seem real, not drawn.

Preacher is not for the faint of heart. It is violent, sexually graphic and deviant and contains healthy doses of religion, war and mysticism, often invoking a stark sense of the old west or great war movies. Oh, vampires and Bill Hicks, too. There are some characters in this series that would give even the most stoic person nightmares.

As with any decent story, I became attached to the characters. When one of them turned out to be something/someone I did not imagine him to be, I felt as if I had been stabbed in the back (even though he listened to The Clash). That's good writing.

Comic books and graphic novels are often looked upon as not "real" literature or books, but I dare anyone to glance through the Preacher series and tell me that it's not better than half the crap on the New York Times bestseller list.

I had heard rumors of a movie version of Preacher and, while I would like to see it get the recognition it deserves, I can only imagine that the story would be mangled beyond recognition in film. Selfishly, I hope it never gets made.

While Preacher was not exactly a 2002 creation, I finished it (barely) in 2002, so it goes on my list of top comic book moments of this year. And I've got a Texas-sized crush on Jesse Custer.

cluck!

I finally got a Golden Chicken Award!!

My day is complete.

get your tin foil hats here!

Jack Cluth posted about a site that tells you how to prevent alien abductions.

Now, you may think that alien abduction is a funny subject, but not everyone does.

Just about a year ago, I wrote about my sleep problems, which include hypnagogic dreams and sleep paralysis as well as vivid, detailed dreams/nightmares which leave me exhausted upon waking.

Several people wrote to me to say that my problems weren't related to sleep, but that I was being abducted by aliens during the night and used for experimentation. They were even kind enough to include links to studies on the subject.

Of course, I thought it was pure bullshit. I had a conversation with my mother about it.

Me: So, people have been saying that I don't sleep well because aliens kidnap me at night.
Mom: Oh, they aren't kidnapping you. They are trying to return you to your real parents.

Thanks, mom.

Anyhow, of the 58 signs that you have been abducted by aliens, I can say yes to most of them, but with other explanations.

However, I've never had a missing fetus (#15), and "Have a fear that you must be very vigilant or you will be taken away by "someone.'"(#52) can be directly attributed to the Department of Homeland Security. As for #25 - Have had, at any time, blood or strangl stain on sheet or pillow, with no explanation of how it got there, if can say yes to that and #34 -Have awoken with soreness in your genitals which can not be explained - then my husband needs to stop watching porn before he goes to bed.

Perhaps I'll invest in one of Michael Menkin's Thought Screen Helmets just to play it safe. I mean, how can you argue with a testimonial like this:

“Since trying Michael Menkin’s Helmet, I have not been bothered by alien mind control. Now my thoughts are my own. I have achieved meaningful work and am contributing to society. My life is better than ever before. Thank you Michael for the work you are doing to save all humanity.”- Jon Locke, alien abductee

Well, John Locke, I think that by letting the aliens take you away to their super-secret planet and staying there would be a great contribution to society.

Shit, I'm out of tin foil.

(bonus mp3 and lyrics included in the MORE section!)

Radiohead "Subterranean Homesick Alien": listen

The breath of the morning
I keep forgetting
The smell of the warm summer air

I live in a town
Where you can't smell a thing
You watch your feet
For cracks in the pavement

Up above
Aliens hover
Making home movies
For the folks back home

Of all these weird creatures
Who lock up their spirits
Drill holes in themselves
And live for their secrets

They're all uptight
Uptight.. (x7)

I wish that they'd swoop down in a country lane
Late at night when I'm driving
Take me on board their beautiful ship
Show me the world as I'd love to see it

I'd tell all my friends
But they'd never believe
They'd think that I'd finally lost it completely

I'd show them the stars
And the meaning of life
They'd shut me away
But I'd be all right
All right..

I'm just uptight
Uptight..

they're always polite to their neighbors

Bronx Boy, 13, Shot Dead; killed in elevator after dispute

The first part of the story explains what happened - two young cousins ended up in an elevator with a man who thought the 13 year old was challenging him (which he was not) - the man shot the 13 year old in the head in front of his ten year old cousin, killing him.

The second half of the story reads like this:

Those who know [alleged murderer]James said the slaying doesn't make sense.

A friend of James who asked not to be identified asked why such a big man would "need a gun for a 13-year-old.”

"He's not that kind of person,” the friend continued, adding that James regularly helps tenants, especially older ones, with tasks such as carrying their grocery bags into the building. The friend recalled that James' Chevrolet Tahoe sport utility vehicle recently had been broken into and the radio was stolen. But instead of getting angry, James "was like, ‘What the hell, I'll save up and get another one,'” his friend said.

Norma Ferrer, 65, a retired hospital worker who lives in the building, also was puzzled.

"I can't say anything bad about Demetrius (James),” said Ferrer, who is friends with James' mother and says she has known him all his life. "He's always been nice to me. It's unbelievable.”

A woman who lived next door to Marcus' grandmother on the 12th floor clutched her chest, leaned against the wall and cried, "Oh, God,” when told James had been arrested in the boy's slaying.

"He was always rather respectful,” said the woman, who asked not to be identified.

When questioned by reporters, James' mother turned her head, her eyes welling with tears, and said, "I have no comment. Leave me alone.”

I sat here for a few moments after reading this, trying to figure out why it bothered me so much.

Ah, I know. It's the way that the media - print media inparticular - tend to write stories with glowing accolades of the (alleged) perpetrator of a crime.

Didn't anyone say what a nice boy the dead 13 year old was?

Didn't anyone clutch their chest and cry in agony when they found out Brandon Marcus was dead?

Didn't anyone else seem puzzled why a 13 year old was shot in the head in an elevator by a 26 year old man?

Let's ignore the victim and paint a nice profile of the thug instead. Next, the writers will be looking for the root causes as to why James had violent tendencies and such a short fuse.

No thanks. I'd rather know a little something about the victim than try, even for a second, to care that a cold blooded killer was polite to his neighbors.

notice

Next person who leaves a freaking snowball in my comments gets their IP banned.

On the subject of comments, calling each other names is really so fifth grade. Can we try to engage in some discourse or debate instead? Thanks.

December 27, 2002

action figure theater

It's Friday night. The kids are at their dad's and Justin and I have some much needed alone time. So what are we doing? No, not that.

We are dressing our action figures up in Natalie's American Girl doll clothes.

click for supersize

The Cave Troll shows off his "get in the kitchen and make me some pie" ensemble while Rob Zombie models the latest in patriotic footwear

"You come back here right this minute with that ring or I'll give you such a beating!"

We really need better hobbies.

come again?

The Fat Guy pointed me to this post at Anil Dash's place (Anil also made a rather bah-humbug appearance here while Laurence was at the helm. I'm wondering if Anil has made it his mission to seek out every non-PC post in certain parts of the blogosphere and reply to them). The post was regarding the celebration of Christmas in mostly non-Christian countries.

Anyhow, it's not so much Anil's post I have the problem with, but a comment from one of his readers:

In a post 9/11 world celebrating Christmas is aligning yourself with the Western modernity.

A dollar to the first person who can fully explain the thinking behind that sentence. Thank you.

Bill Cimino and his express ticket to hell

Bill Cimino is going to hell. Again. Man, no one is going to burn in eternal flames like Bill.

Do not click if you are a)offended by the thought of the apos