buy nothing everything
I would like to thank everyone for particpating in Got It, Spend It Day. It was a rousing success. We sent quite a message, didn't we?
Let's hear it for consumerism!
« October 2002 | Main | December 2002 »
November 30, 2002
buy
body count
Gotta love Reuters:
I wonder what the numbers would be if they used only civilian casualties? And that does not include the Palestinian suicide bombers.
make him sorry he asked
Joe's register is open in aisle 5. No waiting. Barter only.
Hey, if you don't want to go over there and take over Joe's comments, you should at least go read the exchange between us.
He thinks he can swap a useless Stretch Armstrong for an ELO 8-track. Hah! I'm now teasing him with my Castle Greyskull and Return of the Jedi lunchbox.
Fo shizzle.
Bloggerville's Favorite Holiday Movies
I've got some Nick Cave on the winamp, a tequila Bloody Mary, and a brand new keyboard. I'm ready to roll. Let's get this Christmas thing rolling, shall we? I mean, all my neighbors have their lights set to Yankee Stadium brightness already and the guy down the block has a ten foot Homer Simpson as Santa inflatable thing on his front lawn. Mmmm....beer. Anyhow, for the first of many holiday related posts, I bring you:
THE BLOGGERVILLE DEFINITIVE HOLIDAY MOVIE LIST
This is the way it goes. Use the comments and give me your three favorite holiday movies. I'll tally them up in a few days and we will end up with the blogosphere's faves. Yea, it doesn't mean all that much in the end, but it's fun and it sure beats trolling Indymedia for stupid quotes.
The key here is my broad definition of holiday movie. To wit: A holiday movie can be any movie that is either about a winter holiday or takes place over the course of a winter holiday. A winter holiday would be Christmas, Hanakkuh, Kwanzaa and New Year, though I don't know if there are any Kwanzaa related movies. I'm just trying not to leave anyone out. Now please not the movie does not have to be about the holiday. For instance, two of my favorites are Die Hard and The Ref, both which take place at Christmastime but don't center around the holiday, per se.
Ok, that's a lot of wording for something that's supposed to be fun.
Three favorites, no particular order. Tomorrow or Monday I'll whittle it down to the top five finalists if there are enough entries. What are you waiting for, go!
meat is murder. but not cop meat. that's activism.
The more I read the posts at Indymedia regarding the cop killer who posted his confession there, the more my stomach turns.
First up, Emily:
(I put it in the MORE link because it was just waaaay too long)
Sigh..once again a man tries to make a statement about how shitty this country is and everyone hates him. WAKE UP. Sure, killing isn't cool...but how the hell else is anyone going to pay attention to what he has to say?
How else? Maybe he should have gotten involved in those things he hates in order to affect change. Run for city council, work his way up. Did this guy really think that the world was going to stop in its tracks and head off in another direction because some cretin killed a cop to send a message?
Why can't u people look past the fact that he shot someone (which our wonderful government officials and police men do EVERYDAY and then get glorification for it) and realize that although his tactic was bad, his intentions were good. All he wanted was to spread the awareness about how shitty our state-of life is, and he sure as hell did didn't he?? He certainly got us to listen, even though it was at the sake of someone else's life. But isn't that how America always gets its way, by destroying lives until that particular country or whatever it may be gives in?
First of all you dimwit, when a cop kills someone that is say...robbing a bank or pointing a gun at them or robbing little old ladies for crack money, it's called justified. Shooting an innocent husband and father who is doing nothing more than filling up his gas tank is ludicrous. And please, let's not compare one freak with a gun to a country protecting democracy. The killer of that cop wasn't protecting anyone or serving anyone excpet his own dillusions.
If anything, I'd say he was one hell of a citizen! He was doing exactly what all the bigs guys in the white house do, but I guess they got a little jealous because someone figured their plan out. I mean, think about it...haven't you all just wanted to kill that asshole boss or snotty teacher, but didn't have the balls because you'd get in trouble? YOU are the cowards. YOU are the ones who are afraid to stand up for what YOU believe in, and not what your bibles and officials and kings tell you to. OPEN UP YOUR FUCKING EYES AND REALIZE THAT WE ARE NOT FREE, THAT WE ARE CONSTANTLY CONTROLLED BY AN OVER-POWERFUL, UNFAIR GOVERNMENT.
Emily, you are a fucknozzle. The difference between wanting to kill someone and actually doing it is the difference between a lowlife bastard and a person with a conscience. Coward? Me? Hardly. Only a coward would think that the only way to get someone to hear him is to take another life. If he was truly brave, Andy would have killed himself instead, leaving a note that the suicide was due to the horrid state of his world. What better way to send a message than to give your own life for the cause?
From Doc Beard:
Well, all thisa shows to me is there are alot of angry people out, there.
The question is why are you angry?
Is it because an innocent cop has been killed?
Or because our lives are so controled that you can no longer buy a piece of clothing without it being made in a third-world sweat shop?
Hmm..let me think here, Oscar. Where my sweater was made or an innocent person killed to make an assinine statement.
Yep, it's the murder I'm pissed about.
From a tin foil hat wearer who calls himself Reefer Madness:
The King County Jail said an Andrew Hampton Mickel of Olympia was booked April 20 for obstructing a public official. Mickel was released by the court April 21. "
April 20, 4/20, 420, get it?
Hmm, I wonder if our perpetrator is some kind of genius at manufacturing conspiracies. Ut oh spaghettio, could it be that this is all a manufacture of the Illuminati, like 9/11 was?
Ah yes. The dreaded Illuminati. They sure are a busy bunch, what with planning 9/11 and all. Hard to believe they have the time to murder a cop, pin it on a dumb fuck of a kid, all to discredit the loony left. Yea, that's the ticket. Asswipe.
From Siobhan:
Some ask where we would be without police... I believe innocent people would not be killed for no reason and then have the cops blame THEM for it...
I believe in anarchy No rules No Government No Masters of anykind... Contrary to popular belief Anarchy is not chaos and is not the worst form of government ...
Anarchy can work if we don't have stupid fascists bossing us around... We could just do what we want... and to keep some sense of order...There might need to be one rule:You may not fatally injure or kill another life form
Ok, bright light. If you have just one rule but no government or masters or policemen, who is going to enforce the no murder rule? Let me tell you miss anarchist - if we had the nation you so desire it would end up looking much like the world every bad post-apocalyptic movie and in all of ten minutes you would find yourself chained to a big badass named Bruno who will make you his bitch for the rest of your unfortunate years.
From a Mr. Straight Zipper:
Next time, kill us a fucking Senator, or Pentagon Chief of Staff, or even the President, for fuck sakes!
Useless fucking bastard.
Let me guess, SZ. You're a straight edge vegan, right? You wouldn't kill an animal for food because the poor little animal has feelings and rights, but a human? Sure, kill a human as long as he doesn't think like you! Don't look now, but your priorities are showing. And man, are they ugly.
From Nessie:
I, for one, am beginning to wonder if this entire incident is not a total fabrication. We have only the government’s word on this thing. That’s not good enough. They’ve lied to us too many times. It is entirely possible that an innocent cop was murdered in cold blood and an equally innocent patsy was set up to take the fall. Thing like that happen often. Usually it’s about money or love, but sometimes it is about politics. This is more than just a crime, it’s politics. In politics, almost nothing is what it appears to be on the surface.
It is entirely conceivable that it was set up to discredit the global justice moment, and IMC in particular. IMC has many enemies who also use three letter names. Then there’s the Mossad. There are more, a lot more, but you get the picture. Every one of them has a long history of sacrificing pawns to achieve tactical advantage. Every one of them is ruthless, amoral and armed to the teeth. Every one of them is suspect, or should be.
Wow. Is everything in the world a fabrication or conspiracy to these people? IT seems like they came up with a good way to deflect any responsibility for the actions of activists who do things in their name. Just call it a government cover up.
I could do this all day, but I won't. I'm getting too aggravated and I think I'm going to follow in Nikita's footsteps and start drinking.
Oh, and I've just added Indymedia to my Christmas list. I'm going to every single one of their posters a spelling and grammar workbook. I think the 4th grade level ought to do.
did i just hear a door slam?
I think she just called me - and plenty of other people - a stupid idiot. Actually, I'm sort of speechless on this one.
update: as always, Arthur handles it more eloquently than I.
and in the end
This is a long one, folks - several different tangents converging here. Funerals do that to you.
When we arrived at the church for the funeral mass, there was still another funeral in progress. We waited outside, talking amongst ourselves and reminiscing about Aunt Jo and her sisters.
After a while, the other funeral started to let out. It had been for a man who was hit by a car while crossing a busy street. He was a New York City police officer, though it wasn't clear whether he was active or retired at the time of his death. What was clear, however, were these facts: He was recently divorced and homeless.
What struck me about that was the amount of people who came to mourn him. A mother, a brother, what appeared to be young grandchildren - all crying, all obviously very upset. I looked around at the mourners and thought how was this man homeless when all these people seemed to have loved him so? It occurred to me that he was probably homeless by choice, as most of these stories go. That made the mourning that was taking place, especially by the children, even sadder.
And there I was, ready to enter the church for a mass for Aunt Jo, who was 85 years old when she died and never let a day pass her by when she didn't live to the fullest. I was sad, but not mournful. I was glad for the life she had, for the children she brought into the world, for the love that she showered her family with. There are so many different kinds of mourning; so many ways to accept or deny a death.
As an atheist, I am almost always uncomfortable in a church. The ritualistic nature of Catholicism, the imagery scattered throughout the church - it leaves me uneasy. Many years ago, I had joined up with my church again in the hopes of filling a void in my life. By the time I turned heel and left, the void had become larger and my unease with the church led to me to face the fact I always believe but, due to my Catholic guilt and fear, never verbalized: I was an atheist. I did not believe in God, in Jesus, in any doctrine the church holds to be true.
So now, here I was, sitting in the church pew once again, facing another hour long mass. I looked aroud me at all the friends and family there. Few know about my atheism. My family is a religious group for the most part and quite judgmental. My parents know, my sisters know, but none of the cousins or aunts know and I choose not to reveal it because frankly, it is none of their business.
So the mass begins and the priest comes out. Now, you have to understand one thing about my Aunt Jo. She was devoted to the church. She went to mass every day, sitting in the same spot, with the same people. She belonged to prayer groups and particpated in everything the church had to offer.
I don't know if you've ever been to a funeral mass, but you can always tell when the priest giving the mass did not know the deceased. They tend to read from a script provided by the family, but the warmth and depth of the loved one never comes through. With Aunt Jo, there was no need for a script. Not only did this priest know her, he thought very highly of her. He gave a warm, wonderful eulogy for Aunt Jo and choked up enough a couple of times that he had to stop and gather himself. As I listened to him, I found that I was no longer squirming as if I was sitting on a bed of nails being tortured. I listened to him with my heart.
As the mass went on, I watched my family members and I realized something. All those things I don't like about the church - the rituals, the imagery, the symbolic gestures - were the things that were giving comfort to Aunt Jo's family. The familiarty of the hymns, the bringing of the gifts, even the constant kneel down-stand up-sit down rythmn of the mass was like a comfortable blanket of compassion to them.
For some, religion brings peace and comfort. To believe that loved ones are in the hands of God or just the act of reaching out your hands and saying a prayer over their draped coffin can do so much for someone in emotional pain. I don't begrudge my relatives their religiousness at all, nor do I envy it. It is not for everyone, most certainly not for me, but the comfort it gives to others in turn comforts me.
It came time to receive communion and I panicked. What do I do? If I sat in the pew while every other person -save for my Jewish brother-in-law - went up, they would know. I know, this should not bother me so much, but I didn't feel this was the time to call attention to myself and my non-belief because, believe me you have no idea what my relatives are like. I would be the talk of the day. So I asked myself, what would Aunt Jo want me to do? Well of course, Aunt Jo wouldn't want me to be an atheist to begin with. I figured she would want me to go up and receive communion and just play nice. So I did.
When I got back to the pew, my sister was furious with me. I realized then what a mistake I made. I don't know what I was thinking. I should have stayed put and let everyone else go up, but I acted selfishly. I worry endlessly about what other people think about me; I didn't want the tongues to start wagging. I'm already a black sheep as it is, I didn't need to be pushed out further. I was wrong, I know this and I apologize to anyone who is offended by a former Catholic turned atheist accepting communion to save face.
Later on, at the cemetery, Aunt Jo's son talked about the four sisters. Aunt Jo, Aunt Louise, Aunt Anna and my grandmother Millie. They are all gone now, every one of them. Chip looked around at the people gathered by the gravesite and said (paraphrasing for lack of full memory):
Many years ago, two immigrants came to this country with nothing but one suitcase. They gave us four daughters who in turn gave us all this (looking around at all the relatives). The daughters gave us sons and daughters who in turn gave us more sons and daughters. My mother was part of that; she and her sister brought so much joy and love into this world. You are what they have left behind.
And it's so true; we are our parents' legacy, just as our children are ours. From life comes more life and in death, love and joy are left behind. At least that is what we all hope for.
No, no sappy ending here about how I learned today to live each day to the fullest. None of that. Just that we are more than our paychecks and our toys and our jobs. What we leave behind is so often measured in money and belongings, scattered among relatives. I believe if you instead measure it in love and joy and comfort, you will find people are richer than they know.
In my high school yearbook under my picture is this quote:
And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make
22 years later, that belief is still with me.
of underwear and christmas
When you have kids in the house, disease spreads like widlfire and bounces back and forth between family members the entire winter. Today is my turn with the Disease of the Week: the monster head cold.
I'm off to Aunt Jo's funeral now and I imagine after that I'll spend the whole day in front of this computer, complaining about the world at large, though I am preparing my annual Christmas list posts; holiday movies, mix cd's for the season and tasteless Christmas decorations awards. I always take suggestions, so start thinking about the above and what would be on your list, and if you have any links to horrible holiday decorations, please let me know.
I'll be back after paying my respects to Aunt Jo and silently thanking her for all those gifts of underwear on my birthday when I was little, and the '73 gold Plymouth Duster she gave me when I was 20 and proceeded to crack up in an accident.
November 29, 2002
notifications
I'm thinking of starting a notification list for when this blog is updated. My pings to weblogs.com don't always go through, and not everyone uses blogroll and gets that neat updated feature on their links list. Is anyone interested in being on such a list? Should I bother?
Happy Hanukkah!
Of note: We have decided, at the request of several people, to wait until Monday to send the money to the Pizza for IDF fund (see sidebar). We are above the $1,000 mark and I do believe some soldiers are going to be very grateful come Monday. If you were waiting to donate, now is the time to do it.
Also, Anthony from Washington D.C., thank you very much for the copy of An Autumn of War by Victor Davis Hanson. That was very kind of you.
from the peta files
click for extra tall grande size
The fine folks at PETA are now playing the terrorism card, which shouldn't suprise anyone being that they are an organization that uses mental terrorism to coerce young people into going vegan. No, that is not an overstatement. Anyone remember the Burger King protests? Well I do, because they were at my local Burger King, handing out paper crowns to kids; crowns covered in fake blood with what looked like entrails dripping from the points. Nice, eh?
Now they are hanging posters and airing commercials that equate people who eat meat with terrorists. The poster reads:
"Do exactly as we say and nobody gets hurt. Resist and innocent creatures will be beaten, scalded alive, and dismembered and their throats slit, while countless people are poisoned at random by food laced with deadly bacteria.”
It has nothing to do with terrorists, although it may appear that way, and everything to do with turkey.
The TV spot says basically the same thing while it shows a group of store employees and shoppers cowering while a voice on the store's speaker system reads the above lines.
I have a problem with people who put the lives of animals above the lives of human beings, and that's basically what PETA does on a consistent basis, so much so that they don't care about frightening children or making a mockery of the heightened state of nervousness in this country in regards to terrorism.
I eat meat. I like meat. I do not blow up office buildings to get my hamburgers. I do not kill thousands of people at a time to get my steak. Yes, animals are killed so I can eat. But they are animals. Not humans. Does anyone from PETA realize what this earth would look like if we never killed animals for human consumption?
Eating meat is not terrorism, not even close. My pork chops do not bring down civilaztions. My bacon does not cause mothers to bury their children. I do not strap on a grenade belt every time I eat a bologna sandwich.
It is the mindset of extremists that everyone should follow their law of the land, everyone needs to think like them or at least be coerced into doing so. This is a free country and as such, what I want to eat for dinner is my choice, nobody else's. I'm not shoving a slab of meat in your face, don't shove your tofu turkeys in mine or my children's.
for me to poop on
I'm sitting here at work and there are about three people in the entire building. It's quiet as a morgue except for the clacking of keyboards, and those keyboards belong to Bonnie and I, and what we are typing has nothing to do with work, but with an email exchange about fecal matter and something called National Poop Day.
At home is a nice cozy living room, a sick husband who needs love and a quiet Friday night waiting to happen.
Guess where I'm going?
Spoke too soon. More work. No home. Oh well.
Carnival of the Vanities on tour!
Carnival of the Vanities is going on tour, and I'll be the first stop. This coming Wednesday, December 4, A Small Victory will be hosting COV#11.
For info on how to join the COV, see here.
If you haven't already sent a submission to Bigwig for #11 and you want to participate, please send to me at michele@asmallvictory.net. The sooner the better, as I have to read through all of the entries first. I know Bigwig ususally makes the deadline Tuesday evening, but we have basketaball that night, so I would appreciate it if you would get your submission to me by Tuesday morning, if possible.
ding dong
Ol' Dirty Laden is dead and Scott Koenig has the proof.
He's not only merely dead, he's really most sincerely dead.
If You Got It, Spend It Day: It's For The Childrentm
Today is the official AdBusters Buy Nothing Day. It's a day when all the culture jammers keep their hard earned money in their pockets to send a message to corporate America that overconsumption will kill us all in the end.
Not in my backyard, kiddies. Today is If You Got It, Spend It Day. Hell, even if you don't got it, buy it.
Send a message to the world that we are gathered as one to keep our economy going. Send a message to the buy-nothing supporters that it is about the economy, stupid.
While the culture jammers will be having "swap meets, teach-ins, concerts, street theatre, credit-card cut-ups, postering, potlucks," instead of shopping, particpants of Got It, Spend It Day will be tearing up the aisles in toy stores looking for that Princess Barbie, swapping discount coupons, eating at chain restaurants and creating origami with their mile long store receipts.
While the Ad Busters believe that "Over consumption is mother of all our environmental problems," we believe that under consumption is the mother of all economical problems. While they say "the more you consume, the less you live," we say...umm, right.
Now, we are not suggesting that your run out to your nearsest mall or K-Mart on 
this Black Friday. Anyone who ventures out to a store on this special day has to be insane. No, just sit in front of your computer and click away. Shop through catalogs. Order over the phone. You don't have to leave your house to
participate!
Anyone who is a parent knows what will happen if you hand out gift exemption vouchers to relatives in lieu of exchaning presents. There will be mutinity. Let's face it, our kids aren't Ned Flanders' kids. They won't get excited over an imaginary Christmas.
So buy something today. Buy anything. Just don't buy nothing. Do it For The Childrentm
we don't serve your kind in here
I am disgusted with my neighbors.
When I speak about Muslims and facetiously refer to the Religion of Peace on this site, it's obvious that I am talking about extremist Muslims; the militants who kill in the name of their god, the terrorists who have taken a religion and turned it into a rallying cry for death.
I've defended American Muslims here. I know quite a few; my daughter is friends with several American Muslims. I do not believe those that live in my community are terrorists or extremists. True, I sometimes take them to task for remaining silent in the face of people co-opting their religion for the sake of violence, but I do not for one minute resent the fact that any of them live here.
There was a meeting Tuesday night at the local library regarding a small mosque and school that local Muslims want to build where two rather large houses now exist. The members of the community who asked for the meeting claimed that their opposition to the construction of the mosque and school revolves around parking and traffic, and the quaility of life in the neighborhood.
The voices raised at the meeting proved otherwise.
A few East Meadow residents at the Tuesday meeting protested in moderate tones about the society's planned expansion and its tax-exempt religious status, which they said forces them to pay more than their fair share of property taxes.But most of the meeting consisted of a barrage of angry shouts and anti-Muslim jeers directed at Rahman, his architect Hossein Alemzadeh, and his lawyer, Peter Morra. Meeting moderator Joseph Parisi, who heads the civic group, banged a gavel again and again, and shouted the audience down, to maintain order.
"Go park in Bangladesh!" one man shouted.
Some said they oppose the mosque because it would attract more Muslims to East Meadow, and they don't like Muslims, especially after last year's Sept. 11 attacks.
"A lot of people died in the name of your god. We don't kill in the name of our god," said Michelle Caio of East Meadow. About half those present cheered Caio's comments, while the rest shouted disagreement, to which she answered: "You don't want to admit it, but that's the issue. Parking's not the issue," Caio said to her neighbors. "I'm against building a mosque in the town I live in. I do not think this is the time after what happened last year."
Gina Caio, Michelle's cousin, also spoke. "We obviously don't want you here," she told Rahman. "Why would you want to be in a community that doesn't want you?"
The term "Ugly Americans" comes to mind. This is how gaps widen and this is why wars wage. Not all Muslims follow the same path as their terrorist counterparts; my angry neighbors would be wise to find other ways to voice their opinions so as not to make themselves appear to be ignorant, though it's too late for that.
When blind hatred permeates a person, there is no reasoning with them. I won't even try to speak to my neighbors about this because they are at that place where there is no turning back; they've committed themselves to blanket judgment and you cannot debate or argue successfully with people like that.
It's not so much their feelings but the way they express them that sickens me. There were so many other ways to say what they did, but they chose the path of bigoted name calling.
Just another answer to the why do they hate us question.
November 28, 2002
flipping you the bird
mmmm.....turkey carcassAnd how was your Thanksgiving?
thanksgiving - when the skeletons come flying out of the closet
The great thing about family get-togethers is that you always find out some deep, dark secret in the course of the dinner converstation.
My Aunt Anne let one slip this year, and I have found the root cause of my fear of burning to death: When I was little, my younger sister Jo-Anne tried to set me on fire by lighting matches and throwing them in my hair.
So today, when I found this out, I punched her in the arm and gave her a black and blue. There's no statute of limitations on sibling abuse is there?
Don't listen to anything she says in the comments, she's just in a state of denial.
Back across the street for the second round of dessert now.
one for the road
Furthering the constant state of nervousness:
NORAD INVESTIGATES REPORTS OF CONTRAIL (link via Daily Pundit)
Yesterday at approximately 4 p.m. (EST) North American Aerospace Defense Command received unverified reports of what appeared to be a contrail of unknown origin in the vicinity of the Turks and Caicos Islands in the Caribbean. Initially, it was reported to be heading northwestward toward the United States. Commercial airline pilots later reported the contrail over Florida and later over Indiana. Thereafter, no other sightings were reported.NORAD scrambled fighter aircraft from several bases in an attempt to intercept and identify the source of the contrail. No visual or confirmed radar contact was made with the source of the contrail. NORAD continues to investigate these reports. NORAD is coordinating with the FAA to determine any further information on the nature of these reports.
I don't know what this means, but I don't like the thoughts that are surfacing in my brain.
Right now on FoxNews they are talking about surface to air missiles and reports of them being brought into the U.S., or that they may already be here.
I'm headed across the street to my parents' house now. Family, friends, football, lots of food and lots of alcohol. Just what the doctor ordered.
Of course, it's only across the street, so don't be surprised to find me back here at some point throwing out more paranoid thoughts. Feel free to slap me at any time.
If you get a chance, go over and say happy birthday to Robyn, a person who is very high up on my list of friends I am thankful for. She's turning the big 30 today. Life begins at 30, folks. Don't ever doubt that.
a thanksgiving tale
I forgot to tell you my favorite Thanksgiving memory.
It was 1992. I was still married. We had Thanksgiving at my house - my family and my ex's family.
During dessert, my father punched my husband. There was a straw and a broken camel's back involved.
It wasn't a good event at the time, but hey - let's all look back and laugh at it now.
Well, I am.
so long, and thanks for all the underwear
Oh yea, and I have to go to a wake tonight.
My Aunt Jo died. Everyone has/had an aunt like her. The one who rearranged your cabinets every time she came over; the one who gave you undewear on every birthday; the one who parked her car fifteen feet from the curb every time.
Aunt Jo lived to her late 80's and worked up until the day she found out she had cancer. She lived a full, happy life for the most part.
I'll miss her.
I really should be attempting to bake right now. Or at least headed to the bakery. Why am I still sitting here?
And more importantly, does this font suck?
faster, please
And the grinch's heart grew five times smaller this year.
Between him and Ol' Dirty Laden's troops and Saddam, I'm ready to get this war on. Bring me the head of all of them on a platter. Happy fucking Thanksgiving, everyone.
giving thanks
Let's try this again.
Today is Thanksgiving. Let us be thankful.
My family, the heart and soul of my life force. My husband, my children, my parents, my sister Jo-Anne, her husband Lew and their son David; my sister Lisa and her fiance Rob. I am grateful to have all of them in my life for many, many reasons.
My best friends, Barbara and Bonnie, who make life more bearable in those tough times and who make the good times full of laughter.
The friends I have made through this space on the web; I wish I could name all of you but I would be here all day. You have each touched me in different ways (no, not like that, you perv).
The enemies I have made as well, for they have taught me a bit about humility, patience and tolerance.
The Vast Right Wing Conpsiracy of blogging, for taking me in so willingly.
This country and the freedoms that come with living here.
The men and women of the armed forces who defend those freedoms for the rest of us.
There are so many other little things I am thankful for; the things that make me smile, the things that make me laugh, the things you take for granted sometimes.
I'm thankful for sunsets that turn the sky into a surreal painting. The colors of autumn that so often take my breath away with their beauty. A job that I love and bosses who make my job enjoyable. People who bring me pleasure and laughter in different ways - the authors of all the books I read and the artists and writers of all the comic books I obsess over, the musicians and singers whose music I listen to.
I'm thankful for tequila and coffee flavored ice cream and baja chalupas and grande frappaccinos; pinot grigio wine and waffles smothered in butter and syrup and filet mignon wrapped in bacon; digital cable and cable modems and networked computers and movies on demand.
And you. Every person who reads this site and comments here or sends me emails. This blog has kept me going through some rough times; not just the writing but the encouragement from all of you. I have learned a lot from my readers and the people whose blogs I read. I have laughed a lot, too. You guys are good company. Thank you.
Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends in the U.S.A. and peace and love to everyone else.
First round is on me!
paranoia, paranoia
As if I didn't have the creeps already, I get this comment about ten minutes ago on my post about feeding the IDF:
hello ,
Let`s 4 hours later, all every one (every human) pray to GOD to
disapear the Israel and A. Sharon (it takes just 30 seconds).
because they are very cruel, they aren`t human.
OUR PROMISE 4 HOURS LATER FROM NOW.
The IP resovles to:
SINA ATI NET CORPORATION
Mohsen Naderi
No 93,5th St, Saadabad Ave, Tajrish
Tehran, IR
Even if this is just some nutcase trying to scare people, it doesn't help my sense of paranoia.
i've got a bad feeling about this...
I got up today expecting to make a nice little post wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. First, I looked at the CNN site to see what I missed overnight and my heart sunk.
At first I thought it was another attack in Israel. Then I read it carefully.
Two attacks. One in Mombassa, on an Israeli owned hotel.
A missile fired at an Israeli airliner.
And then the words that made my hair stand on end: Al Qaeda.
He said about 8:30 a.m. local time a vehicle pulled up to the entrance of the hotel and the men inside fought with security officers. The men were able to get past security and drove the car into the hotel reception area.He said one of them men blew himself up in the lobby while two others set off explosives packed into the car.
About the same time, he said, a light plane flying overhead dropped at least three bombs in the direction of the hotel and beach nearby.
A London Muslim cleric who supports Osama bin Laden said that Islamic militant groups sympathetic to al Qaeda warned of an attack on Kenya one week ago on Internet chat rooms and in e-mails.
A radical London-based cleric suspected of links to Osama bin Laden’s al-Qaida said on Thursday he also strongly believed the militant network was behind the car bomb and missile attacks. “It is definitely al-Qaida or a militant group that supports it. They have mostly attacked Westerners because the Israelis are difficult to reach but Israelis are their priority,” Abu Hamza al-Masri, who the United States suspects of links to al-Qaida, told Reuters.
"This is their way of showing their commitment to Palestine.”
That bad feeling I had about this holiday weekend has suddenly tripled.
November 27, 2002
one more time, with feeling
If you're looking for something funny, go read death by wax. Don't stay here.
Are you tired of this delinking thing yet? If you are, don't read ahead. Oh, this is not about me this time.
This time it's Wilde, a person whose site I have linked to for a while. You need to go there and read the whole story.
The person who delinked him is also a person on my blogroll. To say that I am stunned by her response to him is putting it mildly.
Let's get some things straight here. Just because you are registered in the name of one particular political party does not mean you hold all ideals of that party to be yours. Also, Republican is not another word for Conservative. The two are not always mutually exclusive.
Take my boss, for instance. He is a Democrat who also happened to run in the last election on the Conservative line also. Yes, he is a conservative Democrat. He is pro-Israel, pro-war and a host of other things not normally considered Democrat.
I am a registered Republican. I am pro-choice, pro gay-rights. Not things you usuallly think of when you hear the word Republican.
So, to dimiss someone because they are a democrat and you are not is to be blinded by labels. The delinker wrote in an email to Wilde:
Given you latest outburst as an attempt to censor me on my own blog ("don't call Dimocrats that") and your avowed personal goal of trying to restore the Democrat Party--something that is anathema to me and and the aims of my blog--I'm IP banning you and delinking you. Sorry, but that's just the way it is.
Given your avowed loyalties and purpose--which I have no interest in aiding or abetting--I have no choice.
I don't see how linking to someone from a different political party aids or abets their agenda. To me, that smacks of an oversized sense of self-importance. I, for one, hold no dreams that my blog is somehow going to have an impact on any election or any political movement. If I thought that by linking to others whose goals are anathema to mine would somehow be helping them achieve their goals and I delinked them, my blogroll list would be very short and my daily reading would be pretty boring.
Also, banning the IP of the offending blogger serves what purpose? All I see in that action is someone saying "Not only will I not link you because you think differently than me, but I won't even allow you to view my site. We don't serve your kind here." My stomach did a small turn when I read that she blocked his IP. Doing something like that only perpetuates the notion that bloggers are moving towards building cocoons. I have a feeling that if the delinker keeps it up, she will be all alone in her little place, with no links out on her sidebar and no one allowed in.
It was this line in another email to Wilde that really threw me for a loop:
We are at War--as much with Liberals as we are with Islamist terrorists. Your side is, unfortunately, the Enemy.
While I often take liberals to task on this site, I in no way feel I am at war with them. I do not view them as the enemy, but rather as human beings who just happen to not share anything in common with me - politically. That was a harsh statement on her part and one I want to separate myself from, as a newly annointed member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.
See, this isn't just about blogs. It's about life and connecting on different levels to other humans. It's about understanding, debate and healthy arugments. It's about seeing all sides of issues and even if you never change your mind on an issue, at least you can say you listened, you read, you learned. You made an informed, educated decision when you took the stance you did. Sure, opinion - especially of the politcal variet - are all about guts and heart and soul when it comes down to it. But the brain controls them all. If you don't use your brain, your opinion means fuckall in the end.
Wilde is about as liberal as I am religious. Which is to say, not. The blogger in question obviously did not do her homework before she kicked Wilde out and locked the door on him. She said in one email:
Wilde, I'm sorry you took so long to make an answer--which I regret to say I'm really not interested in reading.
How can you pass judgment on someone and not even take the time to know the person you are passing judgment on?
You can say "it's only blogs," but it's not. Behind each blog is a person who feels every cut and sting another blogger or reader throws at them.
As much as I may make fun of liberals on this site when dealing with political issues, I still remain friends with many of them. We share tastes in music and movies and books - there are so many more things that make up a person's personality besides their ideology.
I sound like a broken record, I know. But it doesn't seem like anyone is getting the point. We may fight each other's beliefs, but we shouldn't be fighting each other. I am not at war with the anti-war left. I am engaged in sparring and debate and yes, maybe I do show contempt for their actions, just as they show their contempt towards me for driving an SUV or not wanting more gun control. But at the end of the day, I can still sit there and talk about music to the person who was just calling me a gas guzzler. As I often say to my son, "Just because I feel that your microwaving that ant was bad, that does not mean I think you are a bad person."
Separate the politics from the person once in a while. Get behind what you see at face value and look around. You may find you even have things in common. But for the love of humanity, people, at least try. At least know who you are condemning before you condemn them. To do anything less than that is not only unfair, it's completely and utterly wrong.
send good vibes
Everyone go wish Amanda a Happy Thanksgiving. She's alone and recovering from surgery and could use a boost.
Action Figures Caught on Cam Part 4: Thanksgiving
Spiderman: I still don't see why we all have to have Thanksgiving
together. Superheroes, villians, goth people - it's a recipe for disaster!
Batman: Ha! Remember last year? Mark McGwire's head popped off in that free-for-all.
Boba Fett: Yea, the free-for-all that you started!
Skeletor: Shut up, Fett. You were the one that made us play drinking games. It's your fault.
Madman: Now, now, lets not rehash last year. I say we start this year off with something nice. How about we all go around the table and say what we are thankful for?
Evil Ash: Oh, geez. We all gonna hold hands and bow our heads in prayer, too?
Buddy Christ: You got a problem with that, bad ass?
Evil Ash: Sorry, Jesus.
Madman: Ok, Spawn, why don't you start?
Spawn stands up, glass of whiskey in his hand.
Spawn: I'm thankful for that outfit Asuka is wearing today.
Hubba Hubba!
He-Man: Hey! You can't talk about my girlfriend like that!
Spawn (laughing maniacally): Yourgirlfriend? I've been sleeping with her for three weeks!
He-Man: Liar!
Asuka: Umm....
He-Man: NOOOOOO! Say it isn't true!!
Asuka: Ummm....
Spawn: Told ya!
He-Man runs from the room crying
Spiderman: Oh, for Christ's sake!
Buddy Christ: Hey, I had nothing to do with this, man.
Madman: Well, let's wait on dinner a bit until we all calm down. Let's watch some football.
They all gather in the living room to watch the game. Fifteen minutes later, there's a crashing sound. He-Man comes swinging through the window on a rope, his feet aimed for Spawn's head. He swings down on top of Spawn. They tumble to the ground and when Spawn stands up, his cape is ripped in half.
Spawn: You son of a bitch! You mother fucking asshole! You are dead! Do you hear me? DEAD!
He-Man: Yea, I'm shaking in my boots, you girlfriend stealer!
Spawn: My fucking cape. I can't believe it. You'll pay for this you asswipe!
Spawn runs from the room, still yelling obscenities.
Skeletor: Well, another fine Thanksgiving this is turning into.
Death: I think it's rather amusing.
Sandman: You would.
Boba Fett: Is that food ready yet? I'm starving.
Madman: The turkey should be just about cooked. Let's go back into the dining room.
Everyone moves towards the dining area while He-Man lingers, looking around.
Evil Ash: What's the matter He-Man, looking for your balls?
He-Man: Shut up, you freak. Hey, has anyone seen Battlecat?
Green Goblin: I think I saw him fucking your girlfriend. HAHAHAH!
They meet the others in the dining area.
Madman: Tada! I present to you the most amazing Thanksgiving meal ever!
Several Street Fighter guys bring in plates heaped with food and set them on the table.
Madman: Edward Scissorhands, would you do the honors, please?
Edward (mumbling): Every year, it's Edward cut the turkey, Edward cut the pies.
Spiderman: That is the hugest turkey I have ever seen. I can't wait to dig in.
He-Man: Where the hell is Battlecat?
Spawn: Really. He was just dying to dig into his plate.
Edward finishes slicing the meat and everyone clamors for the different plates. They dig in right away, eating hungrily and noisily.
Spawn: Hold up! I would like to make a toast before we all stuff ourselves full of this food.
He stands and raises his glass of whiskey, Asuka at his side.
Hans Solo: I have a bad feeling about this...
Spawn: I thought I would not be able to eat this meal, I was so depsondent over He-Man ripping my cape. But there are ways to get over things. A little action from Asuka here didn't hurt....
He-Man (his mouth full of food): You bastards! Do you have to announce it?
Spawn: You know, He-Man, they say revenge is a dish best served cold, but I would much rather serve it hot.
He-Man: What the hell does that mean?
Spawn (mimicing He-Man): Has anyone seen Battlecat?
He-Man and everyone else stop chewing, stop talking and look up at Spawn, forks in midair. Spawn cackles.
Spawn: Enjoying the meat, He-Man?
He-Man (staring down at his plate in horror) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Chaos ensues. Everyone is either puking or running out of the room. He-Man faints. And Boba Fett calmly sits and passes himself some more meat.
Buddy Christ: Another Thanksgiving shot to hell.
thought of the day
I'm really swamped at work today; posting will be a bit slow.
However, I did come across this while typing a decision, and while it's apropos of nothing, I did find it very interesting.
In Cabell v. Markham, 148 F2d 737, 739 (Second Circuit 1945), Judge Learned Hand stated:
As Holmes, J., said in a much-quoted passage from Johnson v. United States, 163 F. 30, 32, 18 L.R.A., N.S. 1194: “It is not an adequate discharge of duty for courts to say: We see what you are driving at, but you have not said it, and therefore we shall go on as before.”
Of course it is true that the words used, even in their literal sense, are the primary, and ordinarily, most reliable source of interpreting the meaning of any writing; be it a statute, a contract or anything else. But it is one of the surest indexes of a mature and developed jurisprudence not to make a fortress out of the dictionary; but to remember that the statutes always have some purpose or object to accomplish, whose sympathetic and imaginative discovery is the surest guide to their meaning.
Just something to think about in regards to words and implied meanings.
pizza news
PizzaIDF.org has set us up with our own page to make donations (see sidebar of this site for more info). We are transferring all the Paypal donations over there, and if you haven't donated yet but would like to, head over here to do it.
Thanks to everyone who has donated so far!
COV
This week's Carnival of the Vanities is up. It just gets better every week. Coincidentally, this week's is probably the best so far, and it happens to be a week when I forgot to send a post in. You do the math.
Meanwhile:
Dude! You have an American Attitude! Sweet!
You're a gun-toting, bar-dancing, ya'll-saying, t.v. show-copying,
war-waging, ass-patting, hamburger over-eater.
Take the What the Hell Kinda Attitude is That? Quiz at aka cooties
blame america
I do understand these basic concepts about Indymedia: They do not edit or censor what people post on their site. It's basically set up for unchecked self-publishing; and not everyone who posts on Indymedia represents the view of that organization as a whole. They consider themselves the bastion of free speech and as such, they open the door to anyone and everyone who has something to say, even if that something is "I killed a cop."
However, when the front page of Indymedia (not just one of the many subsites, grouped according to location) posts something like this:
There is a long tradition of criminals using mass media to get a message out. But the fact that this was such a brutal murder, and that the confession depicts the crime as anti-corporate, mixed with the anti-corporate stance of Indymedia and its emphasis on empowering people to become the media raises concerns that the line will be blurred in this case. This only serves to distract from corporate media's complicity in murders and violence committed for the benefit of corporations,
I have to take issue with it. In the end it's always about them, and nothing else. It always comes down to their causes, their actions and how every action in the world is a representation of the brutality of America, corporations, the media and the government.
Apparently the murderer wrote to several news outlets, not just Indymedia and its subsites. He also contacted other news sites, including FreeRepublic (original story here)
In the post on Indymedia, he talked about corporations.
Hello Everyone, my name’s Andy. I killed a Police Officer in Red Bluff, California in a motion to bring attention to, and halt, the police-state tactics that have come to be used throughout our country.
Now I’m coming forward, to explain that this killing was also an action against corporate irresponsibility.
In his letter to Free Republic, he took a stance against police officers:
We further demand that our Police Force cease both brutalizing us and in any way abusing their authority over us.
The writer of these letters, if he is indeed the killer, has a very warped sense of personal responsibility, and he alone is responsible for this murder, and I don't mean to imply that Indymedia had anything to do with it.
But their complicity - or lack of - begins and ends there. Most of the people that post on the IMC threads do represent the ideals of IMC collectively. And it didn't take long for them to come out of the woodwork and start looking for root causes as to the killer's actions.
The first post brings out the phrase Manchurian Candidate. That didn't take long.
This incident seems to do a perfect job of associating anti-corporate activism with terrorism. Hmmmm. . . Now who would have an interest in propagating this kind of idea. But no spook would ever try to set up activists in a bad light would they?..
Nor did it take long to drag out the "trained by the USA" line:
Meanwhile, the guy claims to be "a graduate of the U.S. Army Ranger School, Airborne School, and Jungle Operations Training School." Now if this is true, THAT'S THREE CONNECTIONS. Someone should get busy trying to figure out if this guy really is a US-military-trained killer, what his history is, etc.
USA seems to have a big problem with people it trains to kill non-Americans on behalf of corporate interests coming home and killing Americans for their own interests and purposes. They may be Manchurian Candidates, or they may just be bad apples - unintended side effects of the program, whatever.
How about: this man had a skewed sense of moral indignation and took it upon himself to make his protestations known to the government by taking the life of an innocent person?
That would have been clear cut and easy. Unfortunately, to the folks who run and support IMC, police officers are never innocent and there is always an underlying reason for someone's hostility towards corporations, authority and the government.
In other words, don't blame the shooter, blame the the man. The man was holding him down and caused him to shoot. The man was repressing him and stealing his air and killing his babies and diminishing his rights.
And if it isn't enough to just place the blame on corporations and laws that were obviously driving this person insane, you can always turn to the old conspiracy theory train of thought and blame the government.
Of course, that was it. The murdere was sent out their by none other than Ashcroft himself. They brainswashed the poor young man, turned him into a killing machine and then sent him out to kill a young police officer, all to make the anti-war protesters look bad. Of course.
It is the hallmark of the far left to look for underlying causes of blame rather than look destructive acts in their face and see them for what they are.
It's America's fault we are attacked by terrorists.
It's America's fault that people kill police officer.
It's America's fault that Iraqi people live in fear.
The tune has changed. Blame America is the new catch phrase.
Kids doing bad in school? It must be the way America has trained its teachers.
Feeling fat? It's America's fault for forcing you to eat fast food.
Homeless? Jobless? It's America's fault for not offering you better opportunities, even though you haven't been looking for those opportunities yourself.
Stock market down in Europe? Blame America. An activist fell out of a tree? Blame America.
Tripped over your shoelace and fell? Of course, blame America for for allowing such shoddy materials to be made in the first place. After all, the minimum wage is still the same as it was years ago and the people who work in the shoelace factory are tired and hungry and, because they arent' unionized, are constantly being whipped and beaten by their employers and some of those workers, most likely the one who did the quality control on your particular pair of laces was having flashbacks to the days he was beaten by cops for protesting the Vietnam war and he was too distraught, not to mention bruised and bloody, to check that the length on your laces was correct and now that the lace was hanging over the side of your shoe and you tripped, you're going to take on the big companies and sue them to make a moral point for the freedom of shoelaces factory workers everywhere.
I killed a policeman because America made me do it.
Let's see how that stands up in court.
November 26, 2002
eye of the storm
Is anyone else feeling a slight unease about this holiday weekend? I've got a bad vibe thing going on.
as i was saying
In my thanks to Indymedia yesterday I forgot to include the part about "where else can you find a post from a guy who just killed a cop and thinks it was an moral act of virtue?"
come out, come out wherever you are
United We Stand: How to be friends with an antiwar nut.
...I still think he's a nut for listening to Noam Chomsky, and I'll tell him so. But I love him anyway. That's how I can be his friend....
Robert J. Toth articulates what I have been trying to say for a while.
It's interesting that this piece appears in my inbox today; I've been conferring with Choire and Nancy, two liberal friends, about just this thing. Unlike some other people, neither of them have chosen to drop me as a friend because of my political views. In fact, they both have made an effort to listen to my thoughts and try to understand them, whereas other people have stuck their fingers in their ears when I try to talk.
I don't know why people have a hard time looking past politics, religion or even sports when maintaining a friendship. Well, that's not true. I do have an idea. The idea is that those people who would give up a friendship - or in the case of blogging a permalink - are people who refuse to see beyond their own nose. They are people who cannot accept that their are other points of view, other opinions beside their own. They are the people who stand up and say my opinion is the right one and you are an ass for thinking otherwise.
Yesterday I referred to the term blog cocooning, something brought up by Mickey Kaus at the Yale Blog Conference.
In essence, the many people who have been talking about blog cocooning the past couple of days are referring to the practice of some bloggers of painting themselves into a corner. Linking only to people who think like them, and then taking it farther and not linking to anyone who links to someone who doesn't think like them, it's like making a virtual version of a gated community. No one in, no one out.
One such person is the author of Rittenhouse Review, who went off on a self-important little rant on how he can no longer in good conscience link to anyone who has Little Green Footballs on their linklist. Guilt by association, I presume. And honestly, when he says he is "taking a stand" how much of stand is it by just taking someone off of your blogroll? And how far is he going to take it? Will he just delink the people who link to LGF or will he take it one step further and delink the people who link to the people who link to LGF?
It's always been my contention that people develop the need for segragation out of fear of the uknown. If you don't take time to get to know about a certain culture, relgion, etc., you will only end up separating yourself from those that practice within those bounds because you fear what their beliefs might be. This is how children develop into racists. They grow up in families that say don't hang out with this one, he's black. Don't date this one, he's Jewish. They inherently think something is wrong with people who aren't just like them. They aren't taught to look beyond the race, the religion, the politics to see what lies beneath the skin. They don't see people, they see ideologies. And that's where the danger lies.
I wish the people who delinked me had said "You're a good friend, a nice person, but man, do I hate your politics," and left it at that. Is their world so small that the idea of having me on their links list makes it look like they promote my views?
On the other side of the coin is people asking you to remove them from their links list because they don't agree with you. That opens up a whole new can of worms. It's like the kid in grade school who said to you "Gee, can you not tell anyone that I know you? I don't want to be associated with a geek." Which basically would give me the urge to run through the halls and shout out that he's my best friend.
I know I've done this before. I've talked about it before. I almost ran it to the ground. But the fact is, I still get stabbed in the back for my views. I still look around and see my name dropping from blogrolls. A lot of the old crowd doesn't come around anymore. And that's all fine. But it's the almost daily emails and the snide comments in other people's blogs that still keeps it fresh for me. I have no idea why people are so hung up on what I write and how I feel. But they are. And it's starting to sicken me.
The point is, if you are a mature, reasonable person, you don't have to give up your friends because they aren't a carbon copy of you. Hell, who would even want to hang out people only like them? That would get boring real quick. The same applies to blogging. To link only to people who share your views is incredibly narrow minded. See what the rest of the world is thinking. Get out of your little box and look at different opinions. And for god's sake, people. Don't start ripping apart your blogroll, tearing down names of the bloggers who link to the bloggers who link to the bloggers that you don't like.
If you are a good friend, you will remain my friend regardless of what world views you hold. But if you become part of that trend of closed-minded people who are circling their wagons around the warbloggers and declaring a jihad on every person right of center, you can kiss my ass good bye.
I also wish people would stop worrying about me and sending me emails saying how they are concerned about the direction I've gone in. Don't worry about me, ok? I'm pretty much in a good place right now. I'm more comfortable in my own skin than I've ever been. I'm sorry if the pre-Paxil, pre-September 11 Michele is the person you want me remain as, because frankly, I hated being that person. In fact, I'm more worried that you would choose to bail on me now, when I'm finally happy.
Grow up, people. See the world. It's bigger than that cocoon you're sitting in. Much, much bigger.
*this has been a stream of conciousness post. May be edited later for clarity*
reasons to be thankful, part 2
Today, I am thankful for Tequila.
As Homer so wisely said, alcohol is the cause of, and the solution to, all of life's problems. The solution part is what I like.
Tequila is your friend. Sure, it tastes nasty. But a little lime, a little salt, and everything tastes great. Throw in some margarita mix and it's a party. And tequila, believe it or not, makes for a great Bloody Mary.
Have a headache? Three shots of tequila and you can't even feel your head.
Cramps? One or two Margaritas and the cramps are all but forgotten.
Kids leave you in a state of frenzy? Can't seem to relax after a night of homework, projects and sibling rivalry? Say it with me, then. Tequila!
Many a fight has been solved with tequila as the mediator. Many a night of drunken debauchery between the sheets has been instigated by tequila. And yes, those cleavage shots and wet-t shirt pics you have seen here were all brought to you by tequila.
So raise your shot glasses, fix yourself a margarita or get ready to eat that worm - Happy Thanksgiving, Jose Cuervo!
do i hear $1,000?
One good thing today:
We are up to $954 dollars in the Feed the IDF fund (see sidebar). Anyone want to round it out to $1,000? Should we try for $1500?
Tanya and I could always start stripping to get donations. I hear that works. Hooters for Hanakuh anyone?
time out
I've got nothing right now except mind numbing cramps, a sick kid two sick kids and and a missing backpack. I think Monday came a day late.
I'll be around later with Part 2 of my Reasons To Be Thankful. Cramps is not one of them.
Make that much later.
Meanwhile, Feed the IDF, over to the right.
jose cuervo, take me away
Today is not going as planned.
Instead of relaxing calmly at my desk, working at a slow pace and sending nonsensical emails to Bonnie, I am home with two very sick kids, trying to force WordPerfect documents to open in Word and cursing myself that I got so used to my QuickWords at work that I keep trying to type "lnt" and expecting it to come out Landlord/Tenant.
Let's just say that I am thankful for NyQuil, that chalky pink medicine, plastic buckets and headphones.
Is it wrong to be craving tequila at 1 in the afternoon?
November 25, 2002
i'm dreaming of a
If we can't get a white Christmas around these parts, I'll settle for a white turkey day.
I'm watching Snoop Dogg Televizzle right now. Yea, that's right. Televizzle.
Fo Shizzle.
November 1998
Four years ago tonight I was sitting at my computer, a bitter, angry recently divorced bitch who had sworn off men for all time. I was seriously thinking of going into the lesbianism business.
I was in the midst of month long bout of acute insomnia. To kill the boredom of late night tv, I would often go online and talk to friends. Oh, who am I kidding? I was always on line. On AOL, no less. I was one of them.
So it was 1am and I decided I had enough. I was going to swallow some more NyQuil and try the sleep thing again. I was just about to sign off of AOL when fate intervened.
An instant message popped up on my screen. I didn't recognize the name.
The person asked me a question. From the tone of the question, I could tell that he mean to instant message someone with a name quite similar to mine. I would get that all the time. I politely told him he had the wrong person.
Five hours later, we were still chatting.
One week later we took our chats to the phone.
Four months later, I met him for the first time at Penn Station.
Six months later he moved to New York.
In August of this year we were married.
I'm no longer a bitter, angry bitch. Really, stop laughing like that.
Four years and a million stories between that one errant message and now. Four years and a whole lotta love.
Happy "Day We Met" Anniversary, Justin. You are and always will be my knight in shining armor.
dear bob, i'm glad you're dead.
With the help of terminally ill volunteers, our service is sending telegrams to people who have passed away.
If those tv hosts that talk to the dead just aren't enough for you, you can always seek out a dying person and have them take a message to the afterlife for a loved one.
For a fee of $10 per word (5 word minimum), a customer can have a telegram delivered to someone who has passed away. This is done with the help of terminally Ill volunteers who memorize the telegrams before passing away, and then deliver the telegrams after they have passed away. We call this an "afterlife telegram". Please take note of the following:
Since we can not guarantee delivery nor prove that a message has been delivered, our customers do not pay for "deliveries". They pay for "delivery attempts". What we do guarantee is the following:
1) The messengers have memorized their telegrams before passing on.
2) The messengers have promised to do what can be done to deliver their telegrams to the addressees after passing.
How would one guarentee delivery, anyhow?
From the FAQ:
What uses are there for "Afterlife Telegrams"?
Here are some reasons that someone might want to send a telegram to
someone who has passed on:
- Inform someone about a birth in the family.
- Apologize to someone they feel they have wronged while that person was alive.
- Invite someone to a seance that will take place at a certain time and place. (We sincerely doubt this will work, but it's your money.)
- Let someone know about an important event that they might have missed such as a wedding.
- Write things you regret not having said while they were alive.
- Let someone know that, after they passed away, you adopted their pets
and you are now taking care of them
Dear Aunt Beth,
Michael and I are getting married next week. As you are dead and cannot send a gift, would you mind if we went ahead and took that string of pearls that's still in your jewelry box?
Also, Michael says he is sorry for calling you a cheap old whore right before you died. He didn't mean it.
More from the Faq:
Here is a list of reasons why, despite our best efforts, your telegram might not get through:
- Reincarnation could cause a problem. By the time the telegram can reach the addressee, he could already be back on earth.
Isn't there a registration center up there somewhere? The messenger could go to the receptionts and ask where your fourth grade teacher is and she would pull out a file and say "Mr. Horowitz is now a turtle living in a cage in the Bronx. We'll forward the message to him."
- The addressee might have changed his name.
So much for trying to reach Jimmy Hoffa.
- Maybe people who die in Illinois are sent to a different section of the afterlife than people who die in Alaska. (As is the case in the interactive game called "Grim Fandango".)
You mean people from New Jersey get stuck with people from New Jersey all over again. You sure that isn't hell?
- It could be that the addressee is a ghost on earth or has moved to a different plane of existence and can't be reached.-
Or maybe the fact that they ignored you your whole life means they really don't want to talk to you when they're dead, either.
The addressee may have evolved into a higher state of being and can no longer communicate with the messenger.
I'm sorry, the party you are trying to reach is off dancing with 72 virgins right now.
Here is a list of reasons why sending a telegram may be entirely
unnecessary:- -
It could also be that the addressee is now omnipotent and knows everything anyway.
That would be my grandmother. Hi, grandma!
- We can not rule out the possibility that there could be no afterlife at all.
But we'll take your hundred dollars on the offchance that there is.
From the FAQ for the messengers:
- On earth people are separated by political, economic and ideological
boundaries. For example it is safe to deliver a telegram to someone living in Canada but very dangerous to deliver a telegram to someone living in Iraq. It is possible that there are similar boundaries in the afterlife. While you are obligated to do what you can to deliver your telegrams, please use your best judgement as to the amount of risk you should take, without help, when traveling in the afterlife.
So much for heaven being a peaceful place. All you people waiting for blissful eternity, better pack your gas masks and smallpox vaccines.
More than likely there will be social, economic and informational
infrastructures available to you and we encourage you to use these when
possible. Keep in mind there might be rules in the afterlife regulating how and who you may contact. Do your best with what you have.
The white line is for loading and unloading of Afterlifegrams only. Double side of the street messenger vehicle parking is in effect for today.
I have a better idea. Just say what you have to say to people while they are still here. I mean, what's the point of waiting until it's too late to tell your sister she still owes you money for that Bay City Rollers album she broke back in the 70's?
heh, fairies.
Talking to Austrian Miguel this morning:
Me: So, how do you feel about the elections?
Miguel: I'm fucking appalled, what else. As soon as liberals stop believing in fairies they'll have a chance.
pizza update 2
We've hit the $800 mark on the Feed the IDF action. Wouldn't it be nice if, on the first day of Hanakuh, we could have $1,000 to send off to PizzaIDF.org for pizza and donuts?
If you haven't already, and this is a cause you can get behind, please head over to the sidebar and click on that paypal link. If you can't donate and you would still like to send a message to go along with the donations, you can send it to me at michele@asmallvictory.net and I will pass it along to Karen at pizzaIDF.
A big thank you to the members of the Weblog Action Center for making this their cause of the week!
post-traumatic blogging disorder
Do you suffer from a post-traumatic disorder?
James Taranto, in response to a Boston Globe article about 'post-traumatic slavery disorder', asked readers to come up with their own post-traumatic disorders.
Samples:
Paul Coates: PTPD, post-traumatic paradise disorder. My ancestors were thrown out of the Garden of Eden when Eve bit into the apple, at the prompting of the serpent, both of which were placed there by the Supreme Deity. The eons of suffering and pain that befell men and women can be directly linked to this event. Wars, famine, disease, drugs, Michael Bolton--every bit of suffering came from this. You might call it the "mother of all root causes."Don Clevenger: Post-traumatic coliseum syndrome. You see I am a Christian and I can still feel the effects of my Christian ancestors that were horribly killed by lions and other wild beasts in the Roman coliseum during the first and second century. It seems I should be able to sue the Italian government and force them to redress these horrible wrongs of a mere 1900 years ago. I can't even visit a zoo or a circus without being overcome with anxiety! Its horrible.
Stuart Glasby: Post-traumatic chad disorder. The sight of a pregnant woman or someone with dimples causes viewer to curl up in a ball and repeat "Let every vote count!"
Perhaps anxiety wasn't my problem after all. I, too must suffer from some sort of PTD. I meditated over this and came up with a few:
Post-Traumatic Jets Disorder: When the Jets moved to New Jersey, I felt abandoned and let down. The fact that they moved to New Jersey in and of itself caused embarassment and shame. I'm suing the Jets for reparations to the tune of 1 million dollars.
Post Traumatic Costco Disorder: See here for details. I am going to hunt down and sue every person who ever hit me with their cart or caused me to break out in a fit of rage and ire when they tied up the aisles to get free food samples.
Post Traumatic Schumacher Disorder: Oh, the times I was forced to watch Joel Schumacher films! I see them in my sleep sometimes; The Wiz, Batman and Robin, D.C. Cab, Dying Young. If I even flash across one of these movies while flipping channels, my brain automatically shuts down in anticipation. I have been forced to miss family outings, concerts and baseball games all because a piece of Schumacher played for merely one second on my tv. He shall pay!
Post Traumatic Amy Fisher Disorder: I've been suffering from this, as have all Long Island women, since the day Amy Fisher tried to put a hole in Joey Buttafuoco's wife. Since that day, I cannot tell anyone I am from Long Island without them assuming I talk with an old-school Brooklyn accent and hang out in automotive shops. Whenever I mention I live on the island, people assume I'm a cheap date who puts out for married men and then tries to kill their wives. Do you know how hard it was for me to meet someone through the personals after my divorce? I still have to carry the gum-snapping, mall walking, Long Island Lolita shame of Amy Fisher every day.
It's hell being me.
the empty life of a techno-free teenager
Natalie writes gothic poetry about cell phones, at Raising Hell.
I'll get around to posting here as soon as I climb out from under the avalanche of work I'm attacking.
reasons to be thankful, part 1
I'm working on my second annual Things To Be Thankful For list. I think I'll spread it out over a couple of days this time, saving the real schmaltzy, sugary thanks to family and friends for Thursday.
What better way to start off a week of thanks than with Indymedia? After all, today is their three year anniversary.
Without the tin foil crowd at Indymedia, I would not have so much blogging fodder. And how else would I have known that Paul Wellstone was murdered by Bush operatives, or that it's all about the oooooooilllll? Where else can I go to see Susand Sarandon and Woody Harrelson hoisted up on pedestals and offered up to the political gods and goddesses as future leaders of the U.S.?
They bring us the Culture Jammers - those same people who cry about how bad the economy is and then urge their members to support Buy Nothing Day.
Indymedia, who poses Scott Ritter as a hero, who love Communism, and who think appeasement is the answer.
Thank you, Indymedia, for always giving me something to write about on an otherwise dull day. Thank you for bringing me laughter with your conspiracy theories. Thank you for your Pollyana, idealist views that fly in the face of reality. I can always find something to smile or giggle about when I need a laugh. And on those days when I feel like kicking a little ass, I can always find a story featuring a loonly leftist that needs to be slapped upside the head.
So, happy birthday Indymedia. You are at the top of my Things To Be Thankful For list this year.
And don't worry, guys. That turkey is made of tofu.
morning filler
Watched Evan Dorkin's Welcome to Eltingville during Adult Swim last night.
Final score: 10 out of 10.
Originally I had taken off two points for exploding zits.
One point added back on for the Madman statue in the comic book shop, another point added on for the plot including Boba Fett.
Running a bit late today, back soon with a post about blog cocooning. Don't forget the feed the IDF cause over in the right sidebar.
November 24, 2002
pizza news
Pizza for IDF is the cause of the week at Weblog Action Center.
For those coming here from WAC, you can look in the sidebar for the donation bar and the link to the original post explaining the cause.
We have so far raised over $700 - that's in just two days - and with that we can feed donuts to an entire company and pizza and soda to an entire batallion.
The donation bar will up until Friday, the first day of Hanakuh, when all the funds will be transferred over to PizzaIDF.org, along with any messages you want to send to the troops.
proof positive
Someone was rummaging through my archives and came across my posts about my week with She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named (but who has a reality show on E! where she makes a fool of herself weekly). That someone sent me an email, accusing me of making up the stories for my own benefit. I don't see where that benefit is, but oh well.
Coincidentally, I was cleaning Natalie's room today and came across some pictures of when Ms. ANS came back for a vist in August of 2000, long after I had been banished from the ex's family.
Natalie and DJ with the Divine Miss Out of Her Mind, in my former mother in law's backyard:
ANS with my two nephews:
click for larger images.
To JakeNY23, writer of the above mentioned email: You are obviously deeply in love with ANS. I suggest a cold shower and a trip to a psychologist to cure you of what ails you. For your own benefit, of course.
Joe Zarro responds
Joe Zarro of the Daily Aztec responds to my post on his article.
I will begin by saying I haven't read all of the responses posted to this rebuttal to my column, but I will try to find the time.I sense a little hositility, but hopefully we can all be civil about this.
"He says nothing of the freedom that allows him to write this garbage without fear of being arrested for treason. He says nothing of the lives that were lost securing that freedom for him."
What this quote fails to realize is that the premise for my argument is that military conflicts are not securing my freedom, but rather securing finances. Afghanistan, Desert Storm, Kosovo and impending war on Iraq have done nothing to secure my freedom of speech. In fact, legislation passed during these periods has hindered freedom of press and speech. Desert Storm blocked the media from combat, learning from its "mistake" in Vietnam. I suspect many of you are in favor of the homeland security bill, which has added provision that limit the Freedom of Information Act, allowing government to be even more secretive than it already is. My ability, as a journalist, to keep an eye on government is significantly hindered thanks to these actions. Also, your duty as citizens to follow your government and maintain your republic is also affected.
For some reason I don't have the credibility to talk about the social effects of the military because I have never been "on the front lines." You don't have to be a part of something to know about it, or have an opinion on their actions. It is that attitude that limits free thought, and allows people to cast aside an opinion of somebody because you don't agree. You will never see me on the front lines -- I am in complete moral opposition to war, and would rather serve time in prison than spend time with a rifle. This isn't cowardice, a lack of sense for duty or hatred this country. Contrary to what many of you think, I do not hate America.
Although I feel like this is falling on deaf ears, I urge all of you to question the consequences of being a soldier. Try to realize that innocent civilians are driven from their homes, often stripped of their lives over complex issues that most of you obviously fail to grasp.
I never said it was all about oil. War cannot be reduced to "oil" or "freedom." They are geo-political struggles that have their roots in resources, politics, international power struggles, economic and physical security. What I try to point out is that today's conflicts are testimony to our imperialism.
If you want to write an appropriate response to this, you should argue that America is not imperialist.
Well this is all I have time for right now. Maybe I'll drop by for another visit. This is only the surface of my opinion.
The floor is yours, dear readers.
to america, with love
I will now transcribe for you the entire contents of Ol' Dirty Laden's letter to the United States:
Assimilate or die, you heathen bastards!
Love,
Your friendly neighborhood megalomaniac
See, he only cares about us. He just wants us to convert to Islam for own good. He is only looking out for our best interests. Let's thank him. You know, check out his wishlist, send him something for Ramadam.
I'm thinking something that explodes on contact would be nice.
updated
I keep reading this letter. It is quite fascinating.
(ii) You are the nation that permits Usury, which has been forbidden by all the religions. Yet you build your economy and investments on Usury. As a result of this, in all its different forms and guises, the Jews have taken control of your economy, through which they have then taken control of your media, and now control all aspects of your life making you their servants and achieving their aims at your expense; precisely what Benjamin Franklin warned you against.
I think he stole that from Cynthia McKinney's campaign speech.
Ben Franklin? When did he ever say anything like that? I must have cut history class that day.
we built this city
What have I been doing all day? Glad you asked.
I've been building cities.
So much crap on the internet, so little time.
a "little incident of some rioting"
Regardless of what happened in Nigeria, I don't think that beauty contests deserve any publicity at all to begin with. But that's another rant for another time.
About 12,000 people have so far been made homeless and the number of injured in hospital is between 1,100 and 1,200, he said.At least 22 churches and 8 mosques were destroyed in the rampage, Shehu Sani of the Kaduna-based Civil Rights Congress told AP. Ten hotels were also badly damaged, said Sani, whose group estimated that "well over 200 people" had been killed.
This, over a few words printed in a newspaper. The people of the Religion of Peace tm took such offense to it that they though it necessary to kill, plunder and burn.
Yes, I know. Christians were involved, too. I hardly think this was a turn your other cheek situation, though. Your people, your churches, your homes are being attacked, I do believe your first instinct is to attack right back. I know mine is.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I'm sure the coordinators of the pageant are kicking themselves for wanting to hold the contest - which promotes scantily clad women showing off their bodies and faces - in a country which is 50% Muslim. During Ramadan. Can you say bad idea?
Tension was high even before the newspaper article that sparked the riots came out. I imagine that the rioters, murderers and arsonists were just waiting for a reason to start a ruckus. I'm willing to bet that something like this would have happened regardless of someone suggesting Muhammed loved women.
Organisers said they hoped to put the "ugly incident" behind them by ensuring that when the contest was held on December 7 it would bear all the hallmarks of everything Nigerian.
Ugly incident? Is that what 200 dead people is called now? An ugly incident? Will those hallmarks of everything Nigerian now include 12,000 homeless people and 100 ruined churches and mosques? Would it kill these people to say something intelligent like Due to the tragedy that occurred in Nigeria, we are going to forego the contest this year?
Gary Murray-Bruce, organizer of the Miss World Nigeria organization: What happened is a big shame because the international press have highlighted a little incident of some rioting.." [emphasis added]
Little incident of some rioting? No wonder the Miss World organizers haven't cancelled the contest. Those 200 dead people? It was nothing! Just a little skirmish, no need to over react.
Ben Maray, another Nigerian organizer of the event, said "There's an international conspiracy just to show that an African country like Nigeria cannot host this thing. I think Nigerians should be really angry with the international press.."
I guess Nigeria proved them wrong, huh? I think Nigerians should be angry with the Muslims who spread their religion of peace through the night, using sticks and stones and knives and fire. I think the Nigerians, and the rest of the world, should be angry with the organizers of this event who are blowing off the murderous rampage in a big way.
Nope, nothing to see here. Move along. The "latest news" on the Miss World website is from August. Nothing like "we are terribly saddened about the events of last week," or "The Miss World organizers and contestants express sorrow to the families of those killed..."
Well, I'll give them time to recover from the trauma first. After all, like Miss Enlgand said as she stepped off of her chartered flight, it was all "quite daunting."
links via Plum Crazy and Spoons Experience
homeland security watchdogs
Total Information Awareness? Hell No!
You too could have one of these nifty logos, if you follow my orders and head over the brand new Liberty Dogs blog. Woof!
pet semantics
Your tax money at work:
In an effort to give man's best friend a little more bite, the city Board of Supervisors is considering changing the health code to make pet owners also guardians...."Owner implies the same relationship as the owner of a bicycle or the owner of a toaster," said Rob Eshelman, legislative aid to Supervisor Matt Gonzalez, who introduced the legislation in September. "We're really trying to get to the heart of trying to treat animals more humanely and promote guardianship."
I have news for you, Mr. Gonzales. Little Fido doesn't care what the hell you call him as long as his food bowl is full and you let him hump your leg once in a while.
If the proposal becomes law in San Francisco, it will be a symbolic change with no legal ramifications, since state law considers animals property, Eshelman said.
I'm at a total loss as to why this is necessary. Oh. It's San Francisco. Enough said.
November 23, 2002
Pizza update
In 24 hours, we (and I mean we collectively) have raised $650 for the Pizza for IDF cause.
So far, we can feed donuts to an entire battalion (300 soldiers) plus pizza and soda for an entire company (90 soldiers).
This will run through Friday, so we can send the order in for Hanakuh. We may be able to throw a party for all of Israel if this keeps up.
Thank you, again to everyone who donated and everyone who linked. Please, don't forget (even if you can't donate) to send me any message you want to send to the troops with the food.
doing the beavis laugh
This is your brain. This is your brain on Beavis and Butthead DVDs.
Beavis and Butthead are walking down the street. A bird falls from a tree and lands on the ground in front them. It's obviously injured and just lays there, sort of sputtering.
Beavis: Is that a chicken?
Butthead: No, buttwagon, it's too small to be a chicken.
Beavis: Maybe it's a nugget.
hehehehehe
buy music, support the war!
Remember kids, when you buy music, the war machine wins.
Just as buying drugs supports terrorism, and driving an SUV means you caused 9/11, the folks at Indymedia bring you proof that buying cds and concert tickets help support the war machine.
Quoting from the back cover of the new Godspeed, You Black Emperor album, the loonies bring the six degrees of separation theory to new heights:
AOL Time-Warner is one of the remaining major label record companies and owns Atlantic, Elektra/Sire, Asylum, Reprise, Warner, American, Maverick, and others. It also owns AOL, which is involved in a co-venture with Hughes Electronics Corp called DirecTV. Hughes is owned 100% by General Motors. Hughes merged with Raytheon to form Hughes subsidiary Raytheon Industries. Raytheon Industries makes missiles and bombs.Sony Corporaton is another of the major label companies. Sony is involved in a co-venture with the US Army and University of Southern California to develop advanced training simulations for use by the Army. Sony's face in this venture is known as Future Combat Sytems.
BMG owns Arista, RCA, BMG and other record labels. The Power Corporation of Canada is a significant shareholder in BMG, and in turn has holdings in Pargesa Group and Groupe Bruxelles Lambert. These holding companies own a stake in Totalfina, which owns an interest in the venture between Hutchinson Worldwide and Barry Controls. This venture produces sundry parts used in fighter aircraft and other miltary vehicles.
Vivendi Universal is the fourth and final major label company, counting MCA, Polygram, Motown, Geffen-DGC, Interscope, and Universal among its holdings. It has an arm called Vivendi Environnement, which owns a stake in Fomento De Construcciones Y Contratas, which in turn has a stake in Espelsa. Espelsa works on mission planning systems for the P-3 Orion aircraft (Lockheed Martin), as well as systems for the Typhoon Fighter (or Eurofighter), made by British Aerospace. Espelsa also works with the European Aeronautic Defence and Space Company, which produces military aircarafts and bombs, as well as with Alenia who, together with Boeing, makes bombs.
Now, who wants to tell these simplistic morons how we can connect the makers of every car they drive, every computer they use, every cup of coffee they drink, every maker of the paper and markers they use to make their protest signs to some company that is connected to military supplies? Probably in less than six degrees, too.
Will all the Indymedia and Berekeley crowd now stop buying Babs cds and Michael Moore movies? Do they know the connections those cd factories and DVD making companies have to "war machine" corporations?
It is so easy for them to sit there and spout off this nonsense on a daily basis, but when it is turned towards them, they have nothing to say.
Once again, with feeling: Until you all are living in some hippie commune, running around naked, eating nothing but grass and dirt and ridding yourself of any material possessions whatsoever, stick your accusations up your tight, cowardly ass.
advice
3 ways you cannot go wrong:
1. Hire Sekimori Design
2. Use Bloggerzone for hosting.
3. Recognize Stacy Tabb as the Goddess of the Internet.
So, do you like the new digs? Is it me?
ya think?
A Saudi connection to 9/11??! Inconceivable! I don't believe it! They are our friends!
In other news, Michael Jackson's nose if fake and the Red Sox did not win the World Series.
that's the spirit
In a little more than 12 hours, we have collected over 400 dollars in donations for the Pizza for IDF fund.
Thank you to everyone who donated or linked so far. Please, don't forget to send along a message to the troops, all messages will be sent with the food. Send notes to: micheleATasmallvictory.net.
Link to the original post, donation link and running total will be over at the sidebar for the remainder of the coming week.
Tanya and I thank you. The soldiers thank you more.
cookie tossing
If you are here for the Pizza for IDF fund, please look to the right in the sidebar, and thank you!
It's that time of year. Every day, my office becomes littered with memos and notices about holiday parties, holiday breakfasts, holiday luncheons, holiday drinking binges.
I'm not a social butterfly. I don't mingle. I don't start up conversations with people I don't know or people I barely tolerate on a day to day basis. I don't do the fake, cheery holiday smile thing very well. So I avoid most of these get-togethers, choosing to just attend the annual luncheon that the judges throw for the secretaries, which really isn't about their secretaries at all, but about roasting each other until someone gets insulted. I don't mind because I get to hang out with my sister and Bonnie and we get a nice meal and some free drinks and honestly, most of the judges are fun to hang out with.
What I hate more than anything, though is the way some of my co-workers will come bouncing through the hallways, begging people to join in their group shindigs as if they really liked everyone. Cookie baking groups and craft sales and caroling for the courtrooms all make a cold shiver run down my spine. Ok, I made up the caroling for the coutrooms thing. Deck the Halls just wouldn't go over well with someone who is about to see six months in prison. Deck the Cells? Hmm...
Any day now the woman in the office upstairs will send around a memo about the cookie sharing party. It will go right into the shredder. Why? Glad you asked, because this post has all been just a lengthy introduction into a repeat from last year:
c is for god damn ugly stupid cookiesI cannot bake. I can cook - I can whip up a gourmet meal at a moment's notice. But baking leaves me frustrated and in a foul mood. So generally, I don't do it. I leave the baking for the Martha Stewart wannabes in my family.
So why did I find myself standing in my kitchen tonight, elbow deep in flour and frosting? I'll tell you why. It's my sister's fault.
I work with my sister. She, like me, is a bit of a misanthrope, yet manages to be the social butterfly of the workplace at the same time. You accomplish this by making friends with a few select people, and hating everyone else in their department. Then you vocalize that hate. Loudly. Me, I just sit in my office and mutter death threats under my breath.
Anyhow, it came time for the annual cookie trade-off lunch. This is where all the secretaries get together for a holiday lunch, and bring a dozen home-baked cookies for each person attending. This is my fourth Christmas in this job, and I have avoided the cookie exchange every year so far. My sister would have none of that this year. She enthusiastically signed me up without asking. Why? Because she is a sadist. She knew I would now have to combine my hatred of baking with my loathing of my co-workers all in one day. I suppose I could have e-mailed the head cookie cutter and offered my apologies, but I decided I would give in instead. Maybe if I do it this one year, they will leave me alone for the next three.
Now, there are two people at work I like. One is the sadist sister of mine, and the other is my good, dear friend Bonnie. Bonnie was also "anonymously" signed up for this cookie brigade. I despise the other women who are going. The woman I hate the most is joining us, and she has the nerve to say she is coming for lunch and not baking cookies! What the hell? If I am going to stand in my kitchen and curse the cookie gods, so are you, bitch!
I had an option in regards to the cookies. I could cheat. There are various ways one could cheat when it comes to cookie baking:
First degree cheating: Go to bakery, buy fresh made, gorgeous, incredibly delicious cookies. Put on throw-away Christmas plate, wrap in something festive and pretend like you slaved over a hot oven all night making them.
Second degree cheating: Buy the Pillsbury slice and bake cookie rolls. No fuss, no mess. Just chop the roll up, stick in oven and proceed with festive wrapping and lying about the recipe.
Third degree cheating: Buy a pre-made cookie mix, follow same method as above for wrapping and lying.
I opted for third degree cheating, sugar cookie style. Have I mentioned I suck at baking?
First I followed the directions carefully. One rounded teaspoon of dough per cookie. Well I did that and the cookies were the size of a baby's toenail. 6 cookies wasted. I made them a little bigger; somewhere between a tablespoon and a scoop. Apparently they weren't rounded enough and came out looking like lumps of brown coal. Finally, I decided to throw some flour into the mix and roll out the dough. I had no cookie cutters, but I found the cover to one of my nephew's bottles and used that to cut the dough into large circles. They came out the perfect size and shape. I was on my way to Marthaness.
I couldn't just give plain sugar cookies, could I? They had to be decorated. I was ready with green and red colored sugar and some Christmas tree shaped sprinkles. So the cookies are out of the oven, a bit cooled and I sprinkle the sugar on. It rolls off. I press the sugar on. The cookie breaks.
I put a fresh batch in and a light bulb goes off in my head. I sprinkle the sugar on before they bake! They come out looking like someone threw up in my baking pan. I bake a fresh batch and come up with a new idea. I have to somehow find something to put on top of the cookies when they are cooled that will make the sugar stick to them. Frosting! I only have pink frosting, though. I recruit Natalie to mix some red food coloring into the frosting until it looks Christmasy. She stirs and pours and stirs and finally the frosting is red, but the consistency of water. At this point I don't care. I remind myself over and over that I don't even like the people who will be eating these cookies.
I take each cookie, smear it in blood red frosting and then pour the colored sugar over them. They end up looking like a kindgergarten craft project. I'll give it one more try. What is wet enough yet not distasteful that I could put on top of the cookies to make the sugar sticks? And then I see it, right there in my cabinet. Pam no-stick spray. Buttered flavor. Of course.
I spray each cookie with a little Pam, hysterically laughing to myself that I have reached so low a point. I take each non-stick coated cookie and turn it upside down in a pile of red and green sugar. Voila! I have Christmas cookies. I have baked.
They are the ugliest, worst tasting cookies this side of dog biscuits. I don't care. I made them. And I will laugh all this week at the fact that those stupid, lazy, slacking, bitching, gossiping women are eating cookies whose main ingredient is no-stick spray, and which may or may not have fallen on my kitchen floor. I'll never tell.
And people wonder why I'm anti-social.
memo from the desk of asv
Notes on a Saturday morning:
As of 8:00 a.m., we have collected $283.00 in donations for the PizzaIDF fund. You will be able to find the link over in the sidebar until the end of the coming week. Thanks for all your work, Stacy's complete overhaul of her design. It's gorgeous.
Justin gave me an early Christmas present - The Time Life Best of Beavis and Butthead DVDs. I apologize in advance for any juvenile behavior that occurs here as a result of watching them.
Yesterday, I emailed Joe Zarro, author of that vile piece on joining the military. I sent a copy of what I wrote here, as well as the ensuing comments, and offered him a chance to explain his words. Surprise. I haven't heard from him.
Anyone who has mailed me a picture for a VRWC card and didn't get their card, please send me a picture again. It seems a lot of my mail is off in some Yahoo twilight zone. If you sent me mail and I haven't responded yet, either send it to me again or, if you know I received it, be patient. I'm backlogged and trying to get to it all.
Is anyone else beginning to think that the UN is going to get their way and come back with a report that Saddam plays well with others and is cooperative? I feel a restlessness tinged with unease. I suspect the bravado preceding all this has been just that - bravado.
And please, dear readers, keep sending me any interesting articles or links. You have provide a wealth of blogging goodies for me recently.
Coffee awaits.
November 22, 2002
ugliest.design.ever.
Stacy, I'm sorry about what I've done to your beautiful design.
I can only blame the fickleness that takes over my brain when I am PMS.
Don't hurt me, please.
addendum
If you would like to leave a message for the Israeli soldiers, please send it to me at michele@rhzine.com and Tanya and I will send all the messages together.
For those who have sent me emails regarding our own troops, I am already working on something for Christmas.
s.o.h.
Relax, people. The post below was facetious.
I think blogs should have a laugh track.
money shot
You know what's interesting?
You try to do something worthwhile and you get almost no response.
A post about panties gets 14 comments and several emails.
Dead hamster poems gets 12 comments.
Ask people to help out with a cause and you get no comments. Not one inquiring email.
Ten to one of I had called it Hooters for Hannakuh and posted pictures of my tits we could have fed pizza to all of Israel already.
What about Dicks for Donuts?
Porn for Pizza?
Cleavage for Coke?
Am I getting closer?
By the way, a link to donate is up at the original post.
The great PMS monster has been awoken from its slumber. Just a warning not to take me too seriously.
apology panties redux
From now on, instead of deleting comments that were just too stupid, ignorant or immature to leave hanging there, I am just going to substitute the comment with either one of these apology panties:
click for supersize
If people don't want to apologize for rude or childhish behavior, I can at least make it appear like they did.
Blogging apology panties. Just in time for the holidays!
feeding the IDF: a call to action
Update: We still haven't received the appropriate link from the woman over at pizzaidf.org yet, so Tanya set up a Paypal account for donations. We will transfer any funds accumulated over to the pizza site once she sets us up over there. And no, I have no idea why this little button is taking up so much space.
Yesterday’s post about the pizza and donuts for the IDF has taken on a life of its own, as I was hoping it would.
Tanya thankfully took control and sent an email to the coordinator of the effort, who was thrilled with the idea of a group donation. She is going to set us up with our own donation link so we can keep track of how much we donated as a group.
For those who didn’t see the previous post, Pizza for IDF is an website that utilizes pizza and donut shops in Israel to deliver food to Israeli troops.
This works on a couple of levels. First, sending the troops a nice little feast would show our solidarity and support. Being that Chanukah starts next week, this is a perfect time to do it, as I’m sure the soldiers would appreciate our well wishes and donations during their holiday season.
Because of the situation in the Middle East, tourism in Israel is at an all-time low. Many local merchants are suffering financially because of this. By using the Pizza for IDF website to send food to the soldiers, we would be giving business to some of these merchants who desperately need it.
You can also send messages to the soldiers with the food. I would like to collect all the messages myself instead of sending them separately to the website, so all of our wishes can be sent together with the food.
I urge you to join us in sending food, warm wishes and support to the Israeli soldiers. If you are in support of this action, please tell your friends, link to this post (and the post that will up at the Weblog Action Center shortly regarding this same thing), spread the word. The more money we get donated, the more soldiers we can treat. It doesn’t matter if it is one dollar or forty dollars, or if you can’t afford to donate and just want to send a message. Every little bit will go a long way towards bringing a little joy to a weary Israeli soldier.
Please keep checking back here for when I have a permanent link to our donation page. In the mean time, spread the word.
(I think this mission needs a catchy nickname. I was thinking mmmmm donuts, but that was merely for my own amusement. Once I think of a name, I can get started on a button and logo to keep up at the top of my page, and for anyone else to use to link to the cause)
killing in the name of
The Religion of Peace tm strikes again.
What happens when a newspaper suggest that Muhammed might have enjoyed the Miss World contest?
Letters to the editor?
No.
A peaceful protest?
No.
The death of at least 50 innocent people? Rampaging, rioting and burning churches?
Right.
Religion of peace, my ass.
And, like Eric Olsen says, don't even try to tell me this has nothing to do with Islam.
hamster dancing on a grave
So you all remember the story of my hamsters, right? A quick recap - Kobe (the male who turned out to be a female) and Akuma had sex. They had a litter. They ate the whole litter. Three weeks later, Kobe was pushing out another litter. A few days later, Kobe was dead, a victim of too much sex in too short a time. Akuma ate the remaining babies and now lives the life a lonely bachelor.
Mike - the newly famous Mike - sent me a link this morning to an online hamster cemetery. I am going to virtually bury Kobe at this repository, a lasting memory to the hamster that couldn't keep her legs closed.
The form asks for an epitaph. I want to do Kobe justice. I tried coming up with limericks, haikus and eloquent eulogies but all I have so far is:
Here lies Kobe, a hamster of mine
Had too many babies in too little time.
The site is a new version of an older site. You can see the old epitaphs here.
So, your Friday mission is to come up with an appropriate epitaph indicitave of the short, but cannibalistic and horny life of Kobe the Hamster. I'll use best one. Just think, your words on a hamster's virtual tombstone. Something to tell the grandkids about.
required reading
Today's required reading: Kim duToit on information collecting.
There will be a test later.
i think he just called you stupid
Thank you to reader Pearl for pointing out this gem.
Join U.S. military, degrade humanity
The author, Joe Zarro, uses several paragraphs to say something very simple: The soldiers of the U.S. military are gullible, stupid people who are being used for the grand plan of the United States taking over the world.
I've been hearing the argument loud and clear recently that most people who join the armed forces have no idea what they are getting into. They come from broken homes, poor neighborhoods. They are taken in by fight songs and commercials featuring rock bands and the grand prize of a free college education.
Again, I am only criticizing those in service -- not judging them as people. I understand many (far too many) are driven into service by social situations, and are there out of necessity, not ideals. Like most Americans, they are concerned about participating in society, not necessarily bettering it. The military provides economic incentives and job training in exchange for service, exploiting young people in need of a fair social structure.
First, yes he is judging them as people. Even though he goes out of his way several times to give the old "some of my best friends are soldiers" line, and points out that they are not stupid, the bottom line of this piece is that enlisted soldiers are too stupid to figure out why they are enlisted.
Like most Americans, they are concerned about participating in society, not necessarily bettering it.
Another baseless, wide-brush paint job. Most Americans I know work to better society. You don't necessarily have to be out on the streets picking up litter and taking in homeless people to better society. Some people do it just by the virtues of their jobs; police officers, teachers, even your local landscaper betters society by making it a more pleasant place to exist in.
Yet when you join the military, you give years of your life to corruption and death. Today's soldiers are not heroes deserving of unconditional respect -- they are enforcers of economic domination with blood on their hands.
If we didn't have such a large, powerful military, that corruption and death duo would be knocking on your door, Mr. Zarro. Without the U.S. being a police presence in the world, attacks like the ones that took place on September 11 would happen more often. The tyrants of the world would be breathing down your neck, just waiting to make you a victim in their jihads and missions.
I don't see Mr. Zarro putting himself out there on the front lines. I don't think he was in the Persion Gulf or in Afgahnistan, facing dangers and death so we here in the good old U.S. can live free.
The opening paragraphs to his article say it all:
Join the U.S. military and protect your country from itself. Go to distance lands and fight enemies engineered, funded and trained by your government. Mindlessly follow the orders to shoot slightly darker people from countries you know almost nothing about or fly really, really fast over a village and bomb women and children without slowing down.Salute officers of the inner party who will pervert your sacrifices for profit. Answer to a bureaucracy controlled by politicians who use your life to pay back campaign favors to military insiders, who make huge sums from military spending. Risk your life so energy tycoons can have access to the second largest oil reserve in the world. And best of all, help maintain U.S. economic hegemony over the rest of the world, killing innocent people for your country's wealth.
In summation -- be a tool for imperialism and bastardize human life all around the globe.
He says nothing of the freedom that allows him to write this garbage without fear of being arrested for treason. He says nothing of the lives that were lost securing that freedom for him. His all about the oooooooillllllll rhetoric could lead one to believe that Zarro has been spending a lot of time hanging out with Babs and Michael Moore, or at least studiously memorizing their words and ideals so he can spout them off as his own.
I've seen a million articles, blog posts and message board rants just like this. Not one of these cowards ever thinks of what would happen if the U.S. just disbanded its armed forces and sat back and observed the rest of the world in action. They never think about the consequences of not going into these countries, of not fighting for democracy and freedom. They only think of what will look good on their protest signs. They think they are so brave and daring, but the real brave and daring ones are out their making sure that this country remains a place where dissent can be voiced without fear.
What about the terrorists - oh, I'm sorry, militants - who kill innocent people all over the world to further their religious or political agendas? Who is going to watch over them or go after them if not us? Who is going to go out there and make sure another skyscraper doesn't crumble to the ground or another embassy doesn't get blown to pieces?
And who is going to protect the asses of the these idealist fools marching in the streets when the bad guys come after us again? That's right - those mindless, gullible, ignorant, uneducated soldiers.
What have you done, Mr. Zarro, to better society? I mean, besides painting a few protest signs and cutting out of class to attend rallies shouting down the government? What are you doing to protect freedom and democracy and the future of our nation? The answer? Nothing. You are doing nothing but throwing verbal stones at the people who are out there protecting your rights.
I would really like to hear from my readers who are veterans or in the armed forces about Zarro's stance against the U.S. Military.
update Thanks to reader Dragon, we now know the true reason that Zarro wrote this article:
Everyone is missing the obvious point here. As a member of the US Air
Force currently in my 26th year of service I felt it was my duty to
show you all the true depths of Mr. Zarro's depravity. This isn't about
dissent, or free speech, or globalization or any of that stuff. It's
about tomorrow, 12 PM eastern time: the San Diego State Aztecs (3-8) vs.
the United States Air Force Academy Falcons (8-3).
I'll be checking ESPN for the game injury report.
November 21, 2002
kid talk
Story from a woman I work with today. She was giving her nine year old son "the talk" because he asked about it.
Kid: I know how a lady gets pregnant, mom.
Mom: Oh really? Do tell.
Kid: You date a chick and pee in her mouth.
That kid is never going to get a second date with a girl.
Reminds me of the sex talk with DJ. I guess it's a nine year old boy thing.
On another kid note - coaching your daughter's basketball team provides ample opportunity for you to embarass your child in ways you never knew possible. It's get even time, and I'm in charge.
give it a rest
If you don't like the idea of sending food to the IDF that's fine. There is no need to leave your negative comments here. I have plenty of other posts on the subject of the middle east where you are free to say whatever you want. Don't come in here and try to disuade people from joining my little holiday spirit thing. Really, don't be such an ass all your life, ok?
Anyhow, I'm trying to figure out the best way to do this; either have someone volunteer to organize it because I'm just not good at that stuff, or email the site that handles the deliveries and ask them to set up a special order form just for this purpose. If anyone wants to be the organizer, please let me know.
Stay away, asswipes, or I'll have something non-edible delivered straight down your throat. It's called my fist.
I'm still having Dreamhost issues. I'm still pissed. I've started smoking again. Don't mess with me tonight.
a pizza, some donuts and a show of support
Chanukah begins the day after Thanksgiving.
I was at this site and I thought it would be nice to send donuts to a couple of Israeli soldiers during Chanukah.
Then I thought, why only a couple of soldiers? There are an awful lot of pro-Israeli bloggers out there. What if we all got together and raised enough money to send pizza, soda and donuts for a whole platoon, or a whole company?
What better way to show not only solidarity with the soldiers, but to partake in the spirit of the holiday season?
Is anyone interested? Any ideas on how we can do this?
thanks to Bill Quick for the link
trim the fat
And you wonder how I could fall for that Ninja lawsuit hoax. This is why. It just would not be that far fetched considering the lawsuits that are filed these days.
Lawyers have filed a class-action lawsuit against McDonald's on behalf of New York children who have suffered health problems, including diabetes, high blood pressure, and obesity.In federal court in Manhattan on Wednesday, a lawyer alleged that the fast-food chain has created a national epidemic of obese children. Samuel Hirsch argued that the high fat, sugar and cholesterol content of McDonald's food is "a very insipid, toxic kind of thing" when ingested regularly by young kids.
The plaintiffs include a Bronx teen who ate every meal at McDonald's for three years while living in a homeless shelter. Another is a 13-year-old boy from Staten Island who says he ate at McDonald's food three to four times a week and is now 5-foot-4 and 278 pounds.
Perhaps there should be a lawyer who will file a lawsuit against the parents of these kids. A 278 pound 13 year old is obviously not getting the proper nutrition or exercise he needs. Nor is he getting the right guidance as far as nutrition goes if he eats McDonald's three or four times a week.
Fast food doesn't kill people. People kill people.
What the parents of these kids should do, instead of running for a lawyer, is first of all take their children to a physician so they can go on a proper diet. Get them to a gym. Supervise their nutrition.
Once again, we have parents laying the blame for their kids behavior on something else besides their own laziness and ignorance. Did the mother of that 13 year old not see him getting fat? I'm sure he didn't just blow up overnight. There had to be signs. What was she thinking when she had to buy him clothes in the large men's department instead of the young boy's department? A person cannot be that dense to not know that their child is dangerously obese and they should do something about.
And that something does not mean calling an attorney because your child has been fed garbage for the past 13 years.
Wake the fuck up, people. You are ruining your kids. Set a good model for them. Accept responsibilty for your behavior and teach them to do the same.
today's public service announcement
Yale Petition to Oppose Divestment from Israel.
From N.Z. Bear: Also on their site is a list of links to other anti-divestment campus groups, including those at Columbia, the University of Pennsylvania, Harvard/MIT, the University of California, and the University of Michigan.
If you are affiliated with any of these schools in any way, I urge you to sign the appropriate petition and show your support for Israel. And if not, consider donating to one of the sponsoring groups --- or at least, drop them a message of support.
that's some wack shit, dude
November 20th was the Not In Our Name National Student/Youth Day of Action Against The War. Here at ‘Ground Zero’ thousands of New York City high school and college students gathered in solidarity to say “NO, NOT IN OUR NAME” to the war on Iraq. Over 2,000 strong the youth took the entire street of Broadway. We did this in the face of threats from administration, campus security that tried to block them at the doors, talk of suspension, and all kinds of other wack shit. We rallied at Union Square, till our numbers swelled so much we just HAD to take it to the streets. The cops said we could have University Place--but as we all shouted out together as we did it: “We’re taking fucking Broadway!!!”
Yea, that's some fucking wack shit.
I just found that story amusing for some reason.
And then we did! As one of the MC’s said, “We took Union Square without a permit. We marched down fucking Broadway without a permit. We permitted ourselves to take history into our own hands!”
Translation: We broke the law! We ignored the police! We actually thought we were making history by shouting in the streets! Rules? We don't need no stinkin' rules. Fuck authority cause we are gonna do some wack shit for history!
We moved to Washington Square Park and held a HOT rally, fists in the air. Students talked about why they came out--why they weren’t intimidated. One student pointed to a playground on the other side of the park. She said, “Look at all those innocent little children playing. If they were in Iraq they could be dead in a few days. We are not going to let that happen!” Another student came up and said, “This goes out to my principal who threatened me with suspension. FUCK YOU!!! You are not in danger of being drafted. I AM!!! And I am not going to sit in your fucking school and be intimidated by you!”
Darling, if those little innocent children were in Iraq they wouldn't be playing on a playground. They don't have that kind of free childhood. And yea, they might be dead tomorrow because the leader of their country might decide they were expendable and dip them in a vat of acid. Or maybe they would just starve to death. Or maybe they would they would be praying for America to come in and liberate them.
As for the shout out to the principal - wow man, you are like, uh, so fucking cool Beavis.
Imagine the nerve of that principal for suspending a kid for cutting out of school!
Together we took the Not In Our Name Pledge of Resistance, fists in the air! We promised to ourselves and to the people of the world that with every escalation and war move from the Asses of Evil, we’re gonna meet it with escalating Resistance!
Odd are ten to one that when the next terrorist attack happens in New York City, this kid will be under his bed crying for his mommy. And he will not resist when the armed fucking forces of America go out to save his scrawny, cowardly ass.
on the bus
I'm settling in here. Stacy has a done a fine job finding my essence in this design. She made it so it's easy for me to tweak, and I'm sure I'll be fooling around with the colors and whatnot before long.
I dreamed about buses last night and with good reason; there has been threats of a school bus strike in our district for the last week. The last thing I heard on the news before I went to sleep last night was that the strike was imminent. So of course, I dreamed of buses and kids getting to school late.
This morning the news say the strike has been averted. Good. And then I click through that story and over to CNN and I see a bus, a shell of a bus really, windows blown out and roof torn apart.
CNN calls it a suicide bombing, FOX calls it a homicide bombing and I still call it a terrorist attack.
There were children on that bus. I think of the juxtaposition of the two stories. Me, over here in America, worrying that the bus won't come today. And over in Israel, sobbing relatives, staring at the bus that became the place of death for their loved ones.
Think for a minute about the soul of a person who can step onto a bus, see children sitting there, and then proceeds to blow the bus up.
Think about the mind of a person who believes he is justified in doing that.
Try to put yourself in that mind, that soul. It's a very scary place to be. It is the mind and soul of someone who knows nothing but hate and death; someone who was born and raised into a culture of terrorism. He knew nothing else but a sick sense of revenge and justification.
This will never end because the people will not let it end. While the children of Israel are on buses headed to school, their Palestinian counterparts are being dressed in the garb of suicide bombers. They are being taught hate and death. They are being raised in blood. They will never know any better and when they are older they will only see a bus full of innocent children as targets.
Abdel Aziz Rantisi, a leader of Hamas, said shootings and bombings would not stop. "The only way to liberate the land and the nation ... is resistance, first and foremost martyrdom operations," he told the Arab satellite TV station Al Jazeera.
As long as they believe that, and they are passing that warped sense of martydom onto their children, it will never stop.
November 20, 2002
fisking fisk's teeth
I watched Robert Fisk on C-Span last night. What his up with his teeth? They are nasty.
Bed.
I'm baaaaaaaack
What a day. What a fucking day. I am off Dreamhost and on Bloggerzone.
Stacy is an amazing person. I can't say enough about her. I sent out a shout for help this morning - just asking her what the problem could be. Not only did she go in and try to upgrade the MT for me, but when she realized that wasn't the problem, she emailed my hosts, told me to find a new one, set my blog and my MT up on the new host, moved everything and started a redesign. I would bear her children if I could.
So now I'm on a new host, everything looks great, and our computer guy came over and networked our comps, finally. What does that mean? It means Justin and I will be conversing through AIM from now on. Just like old long distance days. Except I won't be able to lie about what I'm wearing.
So, did you miss me?
flames
note: I am having serious Moveable Type problems today. It took me an hour just go get this to post. If posting is non existent today, that's why.
flames
I had one of my end of the world dreams.
It started small, with the local library going up in flames. Then building after building went on fire, tiny sparks of heat filling the air. I watched from a distance and then turned and ran home, pumping my legs furiously as I tried to get to my house before it, too went up in smoke with my family trapped inside.
I screamed out to everyone I passed on the street that our town was on fire. I heard radio reports - L.A. was in flames. Texas was in flames. Explosions could be heard for miles around.
I had to get to my mother. She was working in a lingerie store, even though in real life she works in the very library that was now a pile of cinders. I had to crawl through a mail slot to get into the store, and at first she didn't believe me when I told her about the fires. Then we were running for lives and I kept saying that this was it, we were going to die.
My son had stayed home from school that day and was with his father, so I wasn't worried about him being trapped in the school. But Natalie was at school and I wanted to pick her up before the school went into panic mode. For some reason, news about the fires was traveling very slow; most people didn't know yet.
For the second time this week, I drove a yellow Volkswagen in my dream. Bonnie from work was there, as was my sister and some little girl. We were weaving in an out of traffic and I realized no one was driving the car. Bonnie motioned for me to take the wheel and I hopped into the front seat, crying and hysterical and almost unable to see because of my tears.
When we finally got to the school, we were parked on a circular ramp and you had to go through a maze to get off of it and into the school. It took me so long to find my way to the school's front doors that by the time I did, the sky had filled with dark clouds of smoke and flames were all around us. Yet, when I got to the front desk in the school, the secretary was going about her business as if nothing was going on. Finally, I signed some papers, found Natalie and we went to search for the car in the parking lot.
We got lost on the way home and ended up walking through a forest, not unlike a forest from a Grimm fairy tale. We braved treacherous paths and broken wooden bridges to get back to the car. Most paths were surrounded by trees, except for the parts where there was nothing on either side, just a huge drop. One path led to a wooden sign, painted crudely with the word INSTAPUNDIT. I told everyone the tale of how Mr. Instapundit was a recluse and no one should go on his property.
Finally, we found our way out of the woods and we were back in the car, on our way to a Roy Rogers restaurant to get some roast beef. There, I saw all the people I hated in high school, and they were having some grand sing-a-long. They wanted me to sing with them, but I couldn't because I was eating a sandwich and no matter how many times I chewed, the food would not get small enough for me to swallow, so my mouth was always full.
I looked out the window of the restaurant long enough to see a wall of flames coming at us. It looked like a red and orange tidal wave and you could feel the intense heat as it approached.
That's when I had enough and woke myself up.
And now, I am beyond exhausted. I need to go back to sleep and dream about prancing through a meadow filled with fuzzy bunnies and colorful flowers.
November 19, 2002
when ninjas go bad
Warning: do not post and talk on the phone at the same time. Yes, yes I fell for a hoax. But come on, like this couldn't happen in this country? And you have to admit, it's a pretty funny hoax. And very well done, except for that anycities URL which I may have noticed had I not been so busy yapping away on the phone while I was posting. Multi-tasking bad.
when ninjas go bad
Author of popular website sued for negligence.
A single mother leads a coalition to call for more repsonsibility in controlling information produced from the internet. Her first target--a website about ninjas. Mutton, South Carolina--Margerie Evans, a single mother of three, filed charges on Monday against Robert Hamburger, a 10-year-old Los Angelean, for his portrayal of ninjas in a popular website."This young man is encourganging the youth to physically act out violence. Doesn't [Robert] remember Columbine? Where was he on September 11th?" said Ms. Evans in a statement to Reuters. In a prelimary trial, Ms. Evans stated that because of realultimatepower.net, her children have been climbing on the furniture, beating on cats, and "spitting up all over the damn place."
..."Ms. Evans is a hard working Christian mother who is just trying raise her kids right. How can she do that when you've got demented little boys filling the internet with violent lies? People believe anything if it's presented on the internet. It's a dangerous medium that must be controlled carefully" said Ms. Evans' attorney on Monday.
Let's take this one step at a time:
coalition to call for more repsonsibility in controlling information produced from the internet
And I'm going to start the Coalition to have parents be more responsible when letting their kids use the internet.
This young man is encourganging the youth to physically act out violence. Doesn't [Robert] remember Columbine? Where was he on September 11th?" said Ms. Evans in a statement to Reuters. In a prelimary trial, Ms. Evans stated that because of realultimatepower.net, her children have been climbing on the furniture, beating on cats, and "spitting up all over the damn place."
The kid who made the website is ten. He was seven when Columbine happened. I don't think it really enters his mind all that much. And what in the hell does September 11 have to do with ninjas? Am I missing a link here?
Ok, her children have been doing all that stuff and she's blaming it on a website? Lady, your kids can't jump on the furniture, beat catss and spit all over the place if you don't let them. How about a little discipline. How about stopping them from looking at the damn website in the first place. How about a little god damn mothering instead of getting a lawyer to solve your bad parenting problems?
..."Ms. Evans is a hard working Christian mother who is just trying raise her kids right. How can she do that when you've got demented little boys filling the internet with violent lies? People believe anything if it's presented on the internet. It's a dangerous medium that must be controlled carefully" said Ms. Evans' attorney on Monday.
If she was a good Christian mother who was raising her kids right, she would be monitoring their internet use. And if her sons believe anything that's presented on the internet, she hasn't done a very good job of teaching them the difference between reality and fantasy. The dangerous thing that must be controlled here is the need of parents to run for a lawyer every time their idiotic, uncontrolled kids do something wrong. Ms. Evans is only teaching her kids to not accept responsibility for their actions. She is suing a ten year old kid in order to excuse the behavior of her little monsters. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, people. What the hell are we teaching our kids? This woman should be laughed at by whatever judge sees her case. She is a lazy parent, a money grubbing, responsibility shirker and her kids will end up being the same. Oh sure, let me hand a you a million dollar settlement because you were too fucking wrapped up in your own little world to watch what your kids were doing or discipline them when they acted out.
Of course, the kid who made the website is no better: "When asked about the lawsuit, Robert Hamburger replied "Ms. Evans is a frigg'n idiot. She needs to shut her mouth right now or I'm going to take a skinny dump on her scalp. "
Despite the lawsuit, Robert says he will continue to tell people how sweet ninjas are "no matter what" and pork as many hot babes as it takes.
Someone needs to smack his him and his parents upside the head.
I.Am.So.Pissed.Off.Right.Now.
(link from the guy with the ten NHL games on his tv)
wanna be startin' something
wanna be startin' something
I just could not do justice to this story the way Lair did. But I do think a caption is in order.
Have at it.
I took my baby to the doctor
With a fever, but nothing he found
By the time this hit the street
They said she had a breakdown
Someone's always tryin' to start my baby cryin'
Talkin', squealin', lyin'
Sayin' you just wanna be startin' somethin'
Oh, nevermind. I thought that said "by the time she hit the street." I thought he was just engaging in some self-fulfilled prophecy.
(I was trying to engage in some Lair-like bad taste commentary. Did it work?)
THE MS. CRUNCHY GRANOLA PANTS CONTEST!
THE MS. CRUNCHY GRANOLA PANTS CONTEST!
I pick up a package of toilet paper and worry about nuclear waste. I hope that someday American can wipe away all the waste it produces.
A contest involving really bad metaphors and household products. I could do this all night. And probably will.
download this, asswipe
To the asswipe (IP address 64.122.16.3) who keeps leaving comments on old posts that include a link to some vague download:
You have been hexed. Your hair will fall off, your computer will seize up and die, and some strange woman will knock on your door tonight and kick you in the balls.
Now, shoo. Go away.
notice
Attention: Yahoo Mail sucks ass. If you are waiting for an email from me, it's likely that I have written said email but it has vanished into the netherworld of known as "cannot access mailbox." If you have sent me a mail and I have not responded, it's likely that I never got the email at all because it is stuck in a purgatory known as "invalid mailbox state."
There's got to be a better way.
another performer in the clueless parade
another performer in the clueless parade
Have you had enough of Susan Sarandon yet? Well Susan Sarandon hasn't. The woman (oops, womyn) has just graduated to Grand Fucknozzle Master.
It's not just that she claims it is the job of artists to speak out on their political views. It's not even her claim that actors and actresses are "outside of society" that irritated me so much this time around. (Tim Blair takes care of those points).
It is this line, "I've maintained a fairly low standard of living in terms of cars, houses and planes and in that way I don't have to make a huge amount of money to maintain my lifestyle," that left me feeling just slightly this side of homicidal.
Cars. Houses Planes.
Is that what the average Hollywood millionare considers a "low standard of living" these days? What kind of person besides a smug rich one mentions planes when talking about their living standars? And a low one at that!
I'm sure all those nice folk who are marching behind her at protests will be relieved to know she follows through on all her capitalism-is-evil talk and maintains such a low standard of living. I mean, maybe I am over reacting. Maybe she has only two planes and not four of five like some of those greedy bastards in Hollywood.
Of course, since Ms. Sarandon believes that, as an artist, she is outside of society, she will just deflect any criticism of her lifestyle with that teflon coating of fame she is wearing.
These poor, put upon actors who are under so much distress for their anti-governemnt views, I just want to weep for them. They claim they don't want to be role models, they don't want to be put on some pedestal, but then they get pissed when no one is listening to them outside of their acting parts.
There's a reason that only a few thousand misguided people gathered together in solidarity and protest are listening to you, Susan: you have nothing new to say.
You know, I'm being really mean here. It's not fair. I think I'll start a new cause just for Susan Sarandon: The New PETA.
or maybe the batmobile
the humyn league
the humyn league
He, she or they? Guidelines on gender, language getting update
Found in: THE NEWS-GAZETTE (Chicago), link via Gleeful Extremist
Language, thought and culture influence each other, and a new set of guidelines for word and grammar choices strives to eliminate stereotypes about men and women. “Guidelines for Gender-Fair Use of Language” will be in the spotlight later this month at the National Council of Teachers of English convention in Atlanta. The group is based in Urbana. The statement was originally written in 1975. It was revised in 1985 and was previously known as “Guidelines for Nonsexist Use of Language.” “We used to use the term ‘sexist.' I think we've come to realize that what we want to talk about is gender, it is in cultural terms as opposed to biological,” said Mary Harmon, a professor at Saginaw Valley State University in Michigan who was a leader in creating the documents.
There are certain phrases in the English language I have conceded to changing. For instance, I will call a female postal worker simply a postal worker instead of the mailman. I'll even accept flight attendant in place of stewardess. But sometimes I think we have flown over the edge of political correctness and into some language based twilight zone.
The document Guidelines for Gender-Fair Use of Language, revised 2002 calls for drastic changes in the classroom. One portion states:
Avoid exclusionary forms such as mankind, man's achievments, the best man for the job, man the controls, man the ticket booth.
Choose inclusionary alternatives such as humanity, human beings, people, human achievements, the best person for the job, take charge of,
staff the ticket booth.
Also, instead of man-made (as in man-made materials), use the phrase artificial materials or even synthetic materials.
Freshman (as in certain official names such as freshman orientation). First-year student is an alternative which may work.
Alumni is a masculine plural form; alumnae is the feminine plural.
Don't use age-old phrases such as "you guys go ahead." Don't say "I'm having lunch with the girls." (Even if the girls may not mind that you say that)
Here's my favorite: Addressing correspondence Mr. and Mrs. Michael Webber is exlusionary. Instead, use Ms. Olivia Webber and Mr. Michael Webber.
So, do I start teaching my kids to say person-hole instead of manhole? Do we change spellings in accordance with these guidelines, as in womyn or humyn instead of woman and human? I'm sure Mr. Man Eating Shark will not be pleased to have his name changed to Person Eating Shark. It just doesn't have the same ring to it.
Does, how's it hanging, man? become how's it hanging, person?
If I were to write a manifesto about manatees, I would have to call it a Personifesto about Personatees. Or Peopleatees. Peopleifesto?
Shit! What do we call Manhattan now? Humanhattan?
Why must we teach our children to tiptoe around the language? Pretty soon they will be afraid to open their mouths, in fear that they might offend someone. When I say "Hurry up, guys!" my daughter does not protest my use of the word guys and I hope she never does.
I'm going to lunch. Maybe I'll have a Manwich. I mean, a Womanwich. No, a Peoplwich.
Fuck it, I'm going to have a salad. I can't mess that word up.
what happens when you let a blood thirsty hawk run a children's party
what happens when you let a blood thirsty hawk run a children's party
See that link up there? The one about my Raising Hell story? Well, you have to go read that story in order to understand the following post. Go ahead, I'll wait. I have to make coffee anyhow.
Back already? Did you leave a comment? Good.
So the dreaded firehouse Holiday party is approaching again. To avoid a repeat of last year's fiasco (and all the fiascos that preceded it), my sister has gallantly offered to take over the party planning. Of course, that means I will be her trust sidekick. The key is to make the party interesting for everyone there; crying babies, restless toddlers, rambunctious grade school kids and sarcastic pre-teens. Not to mention the grownups.
I'm trying to think of some games and crafts that might keep the party from erupting into its usual yawn fest. Here's what I came up with so far:
Pin The Bomb on Saddam -
Donkeys are old hat. The kids want something new and exciting, something that will give them a reason to walk blindly in circles just after eating hot dogs. What all-American kid wouldn't want to have the opportunity to engage in holiday cheer by pinning a bomb disguised as a Christmas ornament on Saddam? And when one kid finally hits the spot, all the grownups can yell, "BOOM!"
Bobbing for Piranhas -
Towards the end of the party, you round up all the kids that have acted like animals escaped from the wild and have them bob for deadly fish. The entertainment value of this one speaks for itself.
Craft Time: Strike!
First, you tell the kids the story of how the elves unionized at some point and then Santa broke the labor laws when he forced the elves to work mandatory overtime without pay, let them take pee breaks only once a day, and drank all the coffee in the lounge without replacing it. Then have the kids make strike signs and march around yelling "Santa is Unfair to Elves!"
Prizes:
Award door prizes to: the first kid to cry when Santa walks in the door; the first baby to pee on Santa's lap; the first kid to kick Santa in the shin; the first kid to whine that he didn't get the present he wanted and Santa is a cheapskate. Also, prizes to the first adult who breaks into the firehouse liquor cabinet and the first mother who gets her ass groped by Santa.
Game: Guess the Santa!
Line up a whole bunch of firemen dressed up like Santa and have the kids pick out the sober santa! This would include fun-filled games like Walk The Straight Line and Sing The Alphabet Backwards. Hilarity ensues for sure!
So far, it sounds like a rousing party that all ages will find fun and exciting, unlike last year.
Any other suggestions?
notes
notes
Notice: I know my comment system is buggy. I haven't the slightest clue how to fix it, so we'll just have to deal with it. In the event that you get an error when posting a comment, just wait a bit and see if it posted anyhow. Most likely, it did. This will avoid double posting and you feeling guilty about the double posting enough to email me about it and then me feeling guilty for my web-based illiteracy that made you feel guilty in the first place.
Today is National Ammo Day. Have gun, buy ammo.
and sometimes there is good news
and sometimes there is good news
If every day started off with a spectacular meteor shower and a story like this.
Yesterday's Newsday carried the story of Kathleen Lutz. Kathleen is 32 years old. Both of her parents have passed away. She has seven brothers and sisters, all adopted, all younger than her, all left in her care.
All the siblings have Down's Syndrome in addition to other health problems.
Kathleen has an inoperable brain tumor.
Now, stop and think about what you would do in that situation. Me, I would curl up in a fetal position under the table and wait for someone to rescue me. I would cave, for sure.
Kathleen didn't cave. She moved back home to take care of her siblings. Seven siblings, all with mental and physical handicaps. And her with a brain tumor, needing chemo and other treatments.
I found myself crying yesterday as I read that story, out of sadness for Kathleen Lutz, yet out of happiness for the siblings, that someone loves them so much, so unselfishly, that she is giving the short time she has left in her life to make sure they are together and as happy and comfortable as possible. I wanted to do something for her; to reach out to her.
Apparently I wasn't the only one who felt like that. Nor did I think I would be.
Yesterday, Kathleen Lutz was busy fielding phone calls and answering the door. Workers showed up to take care of repairs the house badly needed. Strangers called to see how they could help. Home Depot donated building supplies. A local Boy Scout troop adopted the family, promising to help out around the house and raise money for Christmas presents. A heating company came in and fixed the heating problems in some of the rooms.
If you are interested, The Family Service League of Huntington is accepting donations to aid the Lutz family. Checks should be made payable to Family Service League -- Lutz Family, and sent to the Family Service League, 790 Park Ave., Huntington, N.Y. 11743.
November 18, 2002
the other madonna
the other madonna
Last thing before bed (I have to get up really early to look at the meteor showers):
Bill from Bloviating Inanities has a mother-in-law. Her name is Madonna. Madonna started a blog.
She says that next time she sees Bill she is going to fart on him and piss in his eye.
I like her already.
New Rule
New Rule:
If you jump into my comments with name calling and baseless accusations and don't leave a name or email address, your IP gets banned.
I'm all for debate and discussion and even arguing. I am not, however, for doing it as a coward. Stand up and look me in the face if you have something to say to me or don't bother saying it at all.
found a peanut
found a peanut
Jimmy Carter says U.S. should set example and disarm:
The former United States president Jimmy Carter says the US, which has taken the lead in urging such countries as Iraq and North Korea to destroy their weapons of mass destruction, should also disarm."One of the things that the United States Government has not done is to try to comply with and enforce international efforts targeted to prohibit the arsenals of biological weapons that we ourselves have," Mr Carter told CNN.
"The major powers need to set an example," Mr Carter said, as the US confronts Iraq over its possession of such banned weapons.
"Quite often the big countries that are responsible for the peace of the world set a very poor example for those who might hunger for the esteem or the power or the threats that they can develop from nuclear weapons themselves.
The man has lost his mind.
I suppose if I confront a robber, Jimmy would want me to drop my gun in the hopes that the robber would drop his gun, too. After all, the robber is jealous of the power that my gun holds, or he's making up for not having as big a set of balls as me or something.
What does Nobel Prize winner Mr. Carter expect to happen when the U.S. disarms? The flowers will grow and the children will sing and all nations will join together as one and live in harmony?
No, not quite. We'd be at the mercy of those left holding the weapons. And they would be laughing at us. Laughing very hard.
If you are in a crowded room, someone will be the tallest. Someone will be the strongest. Someone will be the loudest. On a planet of nations, one nation will always be the most powerful. If not the U.S., then who? I would like to ask Mr. Carter which nation he would choose to be the strongest. Which nation does he think can fill the role as the world's babysitter? Iraq? Sweden? Canada?
He also said:
The US had given many countries cause for resentment and scorn, he said."There is a sense that the United States has become too arrogant, too dominant, too self-centred, proud of our wealth, believing that we deserve to be the richest and most powerful and influential nation in the world.
"I think they feel that we don't really care about them, which is quite often true."
Here we go again with the "America is to blame" rhetoric.
Sure, we are a wealthy nation. We are a powerful nation. We are an influential nation. Unlike say, Iraq or North Korea, our citizens are free. We are free to work and live and worship and shop were we want to. We can move about and speak freely. That is what leads to a nation becoming wealthy and influential - because our government allows us to become that. Resentment? Sure. The same way a person who is a lazy shit and works at a menial, part-time job becomes resentful of his best friend who worked his ass off and made a ton of money and lives a good, productive, happy life. It's resentment borne of jealousy. There's no reason that those nations could not have become like the U.S. But their tyranical leaders loved the control too much and would not let their citizens be free.
As for the U.S. not caring about other nations, then why the hell are we always running to the rescue of everyone else?
If Mr. Nobel Peace Prize thinks the other nations of the world are so much better than the U.S., then perhaps he should go seek his fortune in one of those places. His disdain for his oun country is very obvious.
ass smacking
ass smacking
By now, you've seen the leftist ladies who thought that an all naked sign of peace was a good idea.
Well, I rounded them up, smacked their asses heads a couple of times and knocked some sense into them. They have now joined The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. I have proof.
thanks to my sister Lisa for "obtaining" the proof.
daily required reading
daily required reading
I take back what I said in my last rant.
I am not a Jewish American Princess.
I am a Jew. I am an American.
And I’m too pissed off to be a princess.
Go read Rossi and fall in love with her.
anarchy: it's for the children(tm)
Anarchy: It's For the Childrentm
I stumbled onto Anarchistparenting.com this morning and from there, found this article: What methods of child rearing do anarchists advocate?
If one accepts the thesis that the authoritarian family is the breeding ground for both individual psychological problems and political reaction, it follows that anarchists should try to develop ways of raising children that will not psychologically cripple them but instead enable them to accept freedom and responsibility while developing natural self-regulation. We will refer to children raised in such a way as "free children."
the authoritarian family is the breeding ground for both individual psychological problems...
Interesting, because every therapist my children have been to have told me that I don't assert my authority enough. Even more interesting is once I changed that habit, most of the problems I had with my children disappeared. I now firmly believe that being an authoritarian parent is something kids need. I don't understand how one "psychollogically cripples" a child by being an assertive authority figure to them.
Free children? All children are "free." Free will is a right of any human being. And even though I am an authoritarian figure with them, my kids still have the right to think for themselves, to discover their own way in life, to make choices about their everyday lives.
If we accept that children are the property of their parents then we are implicitly stating that a child's formative years are spent in slavery, hardly a relationship which will promote the individuality and freedom of the child or the wider society. Little wonder that most anarchists reject such assertions. Instead they argue that the "rights of the parents shall be confined to loving their children and exercising over them . . . authority [that] does not run counter to their morality, their mental development, or their future freedom."(please see article for citations)
Well about the slavery thing - sure I was my parents' slave, so to speak. I was their personal remote control, light dimmer and waitress. And that's ok because they were my personal chauferrs and tutors and cooks. Being their "slave" certainly did not stop me from developing my own personality, individuality or freedom. In fact, for most of my adult years, my morality and politics ran counter to that of my parents.
I don't exactly treat my kids like slaves but I do feel that I have ownership over them. They must answer to me. They must obey me. They must do as they are told. Because I am the adult in the house, and I know better than them what needs to be done and how it needs to be done and why.
The article then goes on to explain how parents who stifle their children by not raising them "free" cause their children to reduce their "life-energy" when they have to submerge their natural expression, thus causing them untold physical and emotional pain.
Ignoring that notion for now, let's move on to Anarchist Child Rearing in a Capitalist Society :
After hearing me talk so often about the evils of government, my five year old daughter asks me "are you my government or something?" when I tell her to do things she doesn't really want to do. I'm constantly having to explain why I've asked her to do things. It's annoying and it takes a hell of a lot of time, but she won't accept authority blindly, not even from her parents.
She's talking about her five year old daughter there. Yes, she talks to her five year old about the evils of government. This, to me, flies in the face of the anarchist parent's asserstion that children should be raised "free" and able to make their own choices. Indoctrinating a child to your world view from that young and impressionable age is hardly encouraging free thought.
Maybe I am old fashioned, but I think kids, at least until a certain age, should accept a parent's authority blindly. If I tell my daughter to clean her room and she asks me why, she is not going to happy with my reaction to that question. If I tell my son to do his homework and he questions why he needs to do his homework, I won't even answer him. On the other hand, the author of the article is clearly telling her daughter that government is evil and the daughter is not questioning it. The mother, by raising her child to believe that captalism is the tool of satan, has expected her daughter to place blind trust in the mother's certainty of that statement.
Living in Los Angeles, going to demos and marches has also taught her lessons about the police. She has already abandoned the naive childhood trust in police that so many of her young friends exhibit.
In essence, she has undremined any authority figure her daughter may encounter. She does not trust the goverment nor the police, and while most adults don't, I think it is critical at five years old to think of the police as your friend, not as someone that mommy shouts "pig!" to when attending protest marches. Respect for authority - not necessarily blind trust - is something all kids should have. Later in life, when they are labeled "trouble makers" and have a hard time holding down a steady job, they can look back and blame the parents, justifiably.
Being a parent has taught me a lot about being an anarchist. My daughter is constantly reminding me how important it is to play. She questions my authority when I tell her to do things - "stop screaming," "come here," "get dressed," "pick up your toys" - the list is endless. "Why?" she constantly asks. Sometimes I find I don't have a good answer. And not having an answer keeps me in check. Maybe my request was unreasonable.
I always have a good answer. It's the same answer my parents gave me - "Because I asked you to." Not because I told you to - but because I asked. Stop screaming because it is really obnoxious and it does nothing to get your point across. Get dressed because we need to be out of the house in five minutes. Pick up your toys because it is your responsibility to take care of the mess you made. None of those things are unreasonable requests. I can imagine this child, in the fourth or fifth grade, questioning everything the teachers ask -whether it is something as simple as taking out their math textbook or as complicated as dividing fractions. And I can see this child as a young adult, trying to make it in the working world and wondering why she keeps getting fired for insubordination.
I'm not saying that kids should not question anything. But questioning authority is not an issue in my house. It's just not done. I also think five is a little young to be teaching kids about sweatshops and migrant workers. Nothing like giving a kid a needless sense of guilt at so early an age.
Despite my authoritarian beliefs, my kids have turned out to be quite the free thinkers. My daughter, much to my chagrin, is a liberal waiting to happen. But that is her choice and one I cannot and will not make for her. They read the papers and watch the news and ask questions about world events and I give them facts - not opinions - and let them develop their own individual opinions from there.
One of the last lines in the article is this: My kids are young yet. Perhaps the hardest part about being an anarchist parent will be letting go of them, allowing them to develop into whatever they want to be, even if it isn't an anarchist.
But by telling her child that captalism is bad and government is evil and cops are pigs and mommy should be questioned, she has stunted that development. Their minds are already fixed in one spot and their beliefs have already taken root, and that root is firmly attached to their mother's ideology. Instead of raising free children, is raising chidren who will be tied to her world views. That is not free.
Is there something wrong with my belief that kids should obey their parents, as well as their grandparents and other adult figures in their home? Is there something wrong with expecting them to have respect for authority and to not question the rules and regulations that, being children, are set up for their safety and concern?
There are plenty more articles there I would like to tackle. Another day, another rant.
another one sees the light
another one sees the light
Arthur and his Light of Reason have left the dark side of blogging and moved to their own domain. It's quite beautiful and the archives will always work. Go say hello!
open up and say baaaah!
open up and say baaaah!
It's official. The far left has officially lost their collective mind.
From VoxNYC: (Mr. Voxfux's words in italics)
"The American Empire is in the Hands of Movie Stars"
Bush is NOTHING compared to twenty major movie stars
voxfux
Just one, "We are the world," style production and Bush falls. That is the power, a group of movie stars could have. And they may be our last hope. For Joe and Jane sixpack live and die on the turn of the symbol - and there's no more powerful symbol in the United States than stardom. Let us do everything and anything we can do to ignite the only thing that can rouse the American People - Movie Stars.
Oh, I can see it now. Babs, Woody, Sean, Jane Fonda, Susan Sarandon...all joining hands on stage. They would sing a rousing anti-war song penned by Bruce Springsteen while a Diamon Vision scoreboard in the background flashed numbers and the words "2,101 Converted to Liberalism!"
Quite possibly the ONLY ones who can rescue us from our dire condition is movie stars, since the overwhelming numbers of American politicians are lying immoral filth, like Bush. Journalists are mentally retarded cowards. and the population is like isolated segmented sheep, each in a sheep box seperated from the other sheep.
Ok, so you don't trust politicians and you don't trust journalists, and that's pretty reasonable. But you trust movie stars? You trust mulit-millionaires who live in mansions and have servants and shoes that cost more than your house is worth to lead you into a rebellion against the government and free the poor people of Iraq from tyranny? What a brilliant idea, to put your faith and trust in people who act for a living. People who by day serve as a mouthpiece for the liberal agenda but at night are out at some swank club, partying and not really giving a fuck about some destitute mother in Iraq. Sheep? What do you call someone who puts blind faith in celebritites to lead the country to some idealist vision of great peace and goodwill towards men? Can you say baaaaah? I thought so.
So far there are but scant few courageous movie stars stepping fourth. Robert Redford was a key early critic of Bush. He delivered an eloquent and passionate indightment of the Bush group. Barbara Streisand has been a vocal critic. Woody Harrelson has torn into Bush. And now Sean Penn delivers a blistering naked dress down of this Illuminati agent currently occupuying the White House.
Ten more movie stars and it is possible to change history. This is the power of stardom in America.
To quote an animated movie star, you are a sad, strange little man. I can't imagine that there are people sitting in the Capitol building discussing what Babs and Sean Penn are saying. Babs retrofits her website to clear up any mistakes she has in her mission statements. Is that the kind of person you want to put your trust in? And we all know what your patron saint, Michael Moore has been up to lately. Ten more movie stars? What are they going to do, parachute into the White House and take over the government? What kind of change can you expect a "We are the World" type event to have on America? Most of us will be laughing are asses off at the far left's attempt to change the course of history with a song and dance routine. Especiallly one starring Woody Harrelson.
Since our cowardly journalists and newspapers have no place in their editorial space for the bravery, integrity and honor that Sean Penn represented he incurred considerable personal expense - some $65,000 - to assure that his stand is is heard and he is on the record. That is more than I could say about Senators Daschle, or Leahy who are like fuckin' nutered sheep)
Bravery, integrity, honor, Sean Penn. Never thought I would see those words strung together. I'd rather not deconstruct that thought here, it would take up too much space.
Voxnyc salutes Sean Penn for Extroardinary Bravery on the Battlefield of Democracy. On November 14th Sean Penn drew his sword and thrust it squarely into the belly of the beast of tyranny. If only more of our stars could have the courage to strike such blows you would see this faker, this phony, this cowardly draftdodger Bush fall right on his face. We must begin a wave of dissent and protest. General strikes. No-buy days.
The Battlefield of Democracy? Bravery? Please, spare us your soap opera drivel. If Sean Penn was so brave on the battlefield he would be over in Iraq feeding the hungry with that $65,000 he spent on a newspaper ad. He would be taking poor kids to the doctor or buying textbooks for schools that are lacking in funds. He would be standing right there in Baghdad where his money and his bravery could do some good.
As for your no-buy day, bravo to you for supporting that gem of an idea - hey! let's hurt the economy to strike out at the president we hate because we think he destroyed the economy!
Thank You Sean Penn - for standing up to tyranny. The founding fathers of this nation would be there along side you.
The founding fathers would smack Sean Penn upside his head for being such a blathering idiot. And you would be next in line, Mr. Vox. You, the rest of your sheep and the Little Bo Peeps called celebrities that you follow along, wagging your tail behind them.
Crawl back under your tinfoil rock and hatch another plan. This one would laughable if it weren't so sad - in a pitiful sort of way.
(on a related note, see this)
WWGD
WWGD?
Way back on September 11, 2001 - when I was a left leaning middle grounder - I remember thinking sometime that day as I watched the smoke of disaster fill the sky that I was kind of glad George Bush was president. Perhaps that was the beginning of the end of my left leaning ways. Or, conversely, the beginning of the start of my right leaning ways.
Now Al Gore is stumping around, preparing for a campaign for president. I do believe that his motto will be "Vote Al Gore. He's Not George Bush." That's all I can decipher out of his words these days, anyhow.
So I pose a question to all of you - left, right and middle alike:
What do you think would have happened if Gore had been the president on September 11, 2001? What actions would have taken? What do you think the country would be like today?
Just some hypothetical thinking to start your week off.
monday, monday
monday, monday
I've overslept. I never oversleep. But I was stuck in a dream about my sister playing violin for the mafia while I chastised Matthew Broderick for all the crappy movies he made. I was eating from a plate of raw clams crawling with ants.
Anyhow, morning posting will have to wait until I get to work. My car is covered in a thin layer of ice and Natalie's bus company may be on strike this morning. I love Mondays so.
Meanwhile, I leave you with the proof that I am truly blood thirsty and evil:
 CALIGVLA You are the quintessential madman. Centuries after your death, crazies will still look up to you as the epitome of your kind. You were the favorite child of the family, but something happened that altered your mind for the worse. As emperor, you killed and you destroyed. You thought yourself Zeus and devoured your unborn child; a child conceived with your sister. Your murder will be celebrated, and your name will forever be linked with depravity. You were portrayed by John Hurt. |
Shiny Objects
Besides that part about conceiving a child with my sister, that seems like a pretty good profile of me, no? My mother forced me to watch I, Claudius when I was fourteen. This explains a lot, I believe.
Back to regularly scheduled programming later.
November 17, 2002
make porn not warblogs!
make porn not warblogs!
I guess I just don't have the energy for blood thirsty war baiting tonight.
How about some porn instead? Everyone loves porn!
This is a site of real X-Rated movies with titles taken from real movies. You know, The Beaverly Hillbillies, Cape Rear, Chittty Chitty Gang Bang.
Have at it. Without repeating anything on the list, make up your own porn titles from real movie titles.
Porn: Something we all can agree on, I believe.
Now, I have to go find backing for my restauRANT.
bragging moment
bragging moment
Ok one more thing before I tackle some idiots that need tackling (speaking of tackling, don't mention the Packers game if you know what's good for you).
I got Natalie's report card in the mail yesterday. Natalie, the girl who was labeled as a "crack kid" meaning she would fall through the cracks of the school sytem; the girl whose parents were told when she was five that she would never be able to understand math or read on her grade level; the girl who had plenty of teachers who gave up on her but several very special teachers that didn't; the girl whose parents were told to only expect average work out of her and that she would only attain menial job skills; ..well that Natalie made the scholastic roll in her first quarter of 7th grade with an 87.5 average.
That is all.
kiddie overload
kiddie overload
We're finally back home and I'm intent on blogging a whole bunch as soon as I recover from a day spent with more kids than one should ever have to spend the day with. Gaggingly cute pictures of kiddies coming soon. Meanwhile, a sample quote from a typical day with my family:
My brother in law Lew (hi Lew!) is his usual uptight self.
Me (to my mother): Do you want to pull the stick out of his ass or should I?
Mom stares at me wide eyed, mouth agape.
Me: What?
Mom: What did you just say?
I repeat what I said. Mom goes hysterical laughing.
Lew: What? What did I miss?
Mom: I thought Michele asked if I wanted to pull a dick out of your ass.
Lew: (looks at own ass) I don't think there's one in there.
Excedrin. A little wine. A nice hot shower. And then I'll be ready to rock.
Maybe.
celebration
celebration
I'll be out most of the day. We are heading over to my sister's to celebrate my nephew David's second birthday and, as with most family parties over here, it will probably last the entire day.
I never tire of telling the story of David and how he came to be my nephew. The following is what I wrote last year, when David turned one.
the story of david, on his first birthday
Several years ago, in the courthouse I work in (I was not working there yet at the time), an employee found the lifeless body of a newborn infant in a bathroom stall. One of the emergency workers who responded to the scene, Tim Jaccard, was so moved by the scene that he was motivated to start the AMT Children of Hope Foundation, a group which went on to found Safe Havens. Safe Havens are hospitals, private homes and houses of worship throughout Long Island that have drop-off points for women who have given birth, but for various reasons do not want to keep the babies. These are infants that may otherwise have been abandoned in restrooms or dumpsters, left for dead. Tim comes into this story again later.
My sister and her husband tried for many years to have a baby. When it became apparent that they were suffering from infertility, they sought medical help. They went through many tries at in-vitro fertilization, which is a physically and emotionally straining process. It never worked for them. They went through years of testing, experiments and physical procedures to try and conceive. They got to a point where they realized that it was just not going to happen for them. This is when they decided to try and adopt.
They first went to Catholic Charities, because my cousin adopted three children through them. They were turned down because my brother-in-law is Jewish. Nevermind that they are financially stable, own their own home, can provide a stable, loving environment for a child, and promised to raise the child Catholic. It wasn't good enough for them. Catholic Charities was a dead end.
They tried posting their number in colleges and on internet message boards made specifically for that purpose. Lots of phone calls, more dead ends.
One day my sister was talking to her friend Mary about her and her husband's frustration. Turns out Mary is Tim Jaccard's secretary. Mary put my sister in touch with Tim and the wheels began turning.
There were more dead ends at first. A young girl who decided to give her baby to someone else. A woman who, at the last minute, decided to keep her baby. That one was at Christmas time, and my sister had announced to us on Christmas Eve that they would be getting a baby. Two days later, the woman said no. And how can you be mad at that, really? She wanted to keep and raise her baby and that's a good thing, despite the pain it brought to my family. My sister and her husband made the decision that they would not tell anyone the next time there was hope for a baby. They would wait until the baby was born, the papers were signed and then and only then would they spread the news.
Cut to last December. I was sitting at my desk at work, when my sister (who works with me) came into my office looking pale. She was shaking. She had just received a phone call from Tim. There was a baby boy, born on November 20th and the mother, an illegal immigrant who had just come here from Burma, did not want this baby. She was ready and willing to sign papers giving him up. My sister and her husband had known about this woman since the baby was born, but said nothing to any family member, remembering what happened the last time. But now she had to tell me because Tim said on the phone to be ready to be a mother in two days. Two days. After years of waiting and hoping and being disappointed, she had two days to get ready for a baby. She was to leave work immediately and head to to the woman's apartment in Queens, where Tim was waiting for my sister and her husband to meet the mother. The mother wanted to see them first, to know who she was giving her baby up to. I walked my sister out to her car and wished her luck. As soon as she was gone, I broke a promise I made and called my mother.
Two hours later, my mother and I were in Target, spending a small fortune on baby supplies. Clothes, diapers, bottles and every accessory both useful and extravagant, were bought. By the time we got home, my father, who cannot keep a secret to save his life, had told every relative within shouting distance. Basically meaning everyone in town. Friends and family kept pulling up to the house, dropping off supplies. A bassinet. Enough diapers to last a month. More clothes, baby blankets, crib sheets. There were moments where we felt like we were jinxing the whole thing, pusing our luck, but we decided to test fate and stock up anyhow. Any woman who has ever had a child will tell you nine months is barely enough time to get everything ready. Imagine only having two days to prepare. We figured it was better to have this stuff ready for her than to have nothing ready at all, and have to run out that day to buy all the things they would need.
Sometime that night my sister called and said it was definite. The baby was theirs. He would be delivered to their home, by Tim, the next night. She still wouldn't believe it, wouldn't talk in definite tones until the baby was in her arms. Can you blame her?
The next day was a frenzy. There were still so many things to get, so many people to call. My sister was frantic, her husband was neurotic. By 9pm, there were 20 people, friends and family, sitting in their living room waiting for David. We had champagne ready. Finally, Tim pulled up at around 10pm. My sister freaked out and wouldn't go to the door. She was afraid Tim would be standing there empty handed, come to bring the bad news that the woman had changed her mind. I looked out the window and saw Tim lifting a little baby out of a car seat. I shoved my sister towards the front door and told her to chill out. And Tim walked in, held out David, and put him in my sister's waiting arms. There was not a dry eye in the house. My father was crying, the neighbors were crying. I thought my sister and her husband were both going to pass out. They held him and stared at him for the longest time and nobody moved, nobody talked. Finally, someone popped the cork on a champagne bottle and we all cheered. For the next hour, David was passed from person to person and we all stared in wonder at the baby we had waited so long for.
David is a year old now. Not a day goes by that I don't look at him and think about the birth mother he has out there somewhere, and I wonder if she knows what she gave up. I look at his engaging smile and listen to his loud laugh and kiss his soft little cheeks and I wonder. I see my sister and her husband with their child and I am so happy for them, and so thankful that Tim Jaccard afforded them this opportunity, that this adorable child was not abandoned in a dumpster in the dark of night because the mother had no one to turn to.
So happy first birthday, David. You are a lucky boy. You had a selfless, caring birth mother who made a choice that was hard for her and right for you. And you ended up in the arms and hearts of two people who will give you a lifetime of love.
the price of appeasement
the price of appeasement
Document warns of New York, D.C. attacks.
A statement attributed to al-Qaeda threatened more attacks in New York and Washington unless America stops supporting Israel and converts to Islam, an Arab TV reporter who received the unsigned document said.Yosri Fouda, correspondent for the satellite station Al-Jazeera, told The Associated Press on Saturday that he received the six-page document Wednesday. That was a day after the TV station broadcast an audiotape purportedly made by Osama bin Laden.
Some quotes pulled from the statement, which hasn't been made available in its entirety yet:
Stop your support for Israel against the Palestinians, for Russians against the Chechens and leave us alone, or expect us in Washington and New York.
Do not force us to ship you in coffins.
You are placing Muslims under siege in Iraq where children die every day. Oh how weird that you don't care for 1.5 million Iraqi children who died under siege. But when 3,000 of your compatriots died, the whole world was shaken .
[Fouda] added the statement demanded U.S. troops leave the Arabian Peninsula, and justified the killings of American civilians because they pay taxes that finance military operations.
So, all you placard-wearing cowards at Indymedia and Michael Moore, Babs, the Berekely Brigade...how is this appeasement thing working out for you? You still think it's a good idea? You ready to convert to Islam?
This is what appeasement leads to. It gives terrorists reason to think that they can make demands on us. For every anti-war protester marching in the streets; for every idealist school teacher that heads over to Iraq to offer hugs and flowers; for every celebrity who thinks we should put down our weapons and just try to talk it out, they laugh at us. They laugh and they plot and they think we must be the most spineless, cowardly world power ever.
Appeasement gives power to your enemy. If you give a screaming child in the supermarket a toy just to shut him up, he will only turn his temper up a notch much faster the next time, knowing you will cave in and reward him for his obnoxious behavior.
Does it make me a monster for being willing to wipe out some innocent people in pursuit of our enemies - enemies who have the power to bring us down one city at a time? If there was ever a time to be selfish, this is it. I'm sorry, but I would much rather protect the life and future of my own children by taking out our enemies than trying once again to bargain with them in order to spare the lives of others.
Is this what it comes down to? Whose children do you want to protect? Why would you choose the children of a foreign, enemy country than your own? Are you that willing to sacrifice your own children in the name of peace?
They are coming for us. I do not take these threats lightly because they have already came for us once before, with success. We already know what al-Qaeda is capable of. Iraq has ten times the power and force of al-Qaeda. Why wait? Why wait until another building crumbles? Why wait until our children are dying of smallpox or our cities are burning? What is so wrong in wanting to prevent another September 11 or something worse than that?
By mentioning Iraq in the statements, al-Qaeda has aligned the two enemies. They are one and the same and should be treated as such. There is a war on terror going on, and a war should not include attempts at appeasement.
When the Golden Gate Bridge is thrown into the water, when Disneyland and Hollywood are nothing but ashes, the leftist will be lined up to blame the U.S. It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation as far as the lefties are concerned.
I no longer care about what becomes of the victims of war on foreign soil. Excuse me while I practice a little surivival of the fittest and care more about my own children, my own neighbors and fellow Americans than I care about people living among those who want us dead.
Appeasement will not be done in my name. War will. And I hope we don't stop until every last terrorist is dead and buried.
Are you lefties ready to convert to Islam? Are you ready to hail Saddam and bin Laden as your leaders? Are you ready to become one of them?
I'm not.
November 16, 2002
about the crack and smack and whack that hits the street
about the crack and smack and whack that hits the street
We spent the day in Middle Earth and it was a good place to be.
However, sitting on the couch for five hours in near-dark, eating junk food and not moving except to pee drains you of any energy you may have had when you first sat down.
I wanted to deal with some of the comments about the post below, but I haven't a brain cell left that feels like working. There's always tomorrow. Hopefully.
9:00 and I'm going back on the couch for the night. Rainy, cold days are like that. You just want to snuggle up and watch the CNN special about kids smoking embalming fluid.
Do you ever wonder if the drugs you did as a kid have are having left their lasting impressions on your brain?
in our name
in our name
Pledge of Support
In Our Name
We believe that as citizens of the United States, it is our responsibility to resist those who wish to destroy our country.
In our name, wage war against those who would destroy us. There will be no more deaths of Americans in senseless acts of terrorism against innocent people.
In our name, invade countries who harbor terrorists. Countries where freedom is at the whim of a murderous tyrant. Countries that would smite us from the face of the earth given the opportunity to do so.
In our names, defend the freedoms which allow the protestor to protest your actions. Defend these freedoms forcefully; the only appropriate way to defend freedom against those who would take it from us.
By our hands we will supply aid to any country wishing to free itself from the chains of a tyrannical government. That aid may come in the form of money, arms, or food.
By our actions, we will not allow fear of reprisal to persuade us away from doing what is right.
By our hearts, we will not allow moral relativism to preclude identifying those who are evil as such.
By our will, and in our name.
We pledge support.
We pledge allegiance with those whose tyrannical governments repress them.
We pledge alliance with those living in countries overrun by warlords and terrorists.
We pledge support for women who are treated as property and not as people.
We pledge to defend freedom in whatever way it is so manifested throughout all the nations of the world.
A world of peace and freedom is possible.
And it is not achieved by standing idly by and hoping for it.
We encourage the protection of peace
The fostering of freedom
and the return of dignity to the oppressed
In Our Name.
For me, this is not so much a petition as an act of standing up for what I believe in, and making those thoughts known. Thanks, Vin.
advance warning
Advance warning:
We are experiencing a lovely mix of rain, wind and ice pellets today; a typical November nor'easter. This means that there is a very good chance that the cable modem will crap out at some point today. If posting is light, that is the reason. Either that, or we have decided to spend the entire day watching all four discs of the Lord of the Rings Special Edition DVD.
ASV site o' the moment
ASV site o' the moment
Something I would like to do on a continual basis here is point to other blogs that I read. I don't read all war all the time. I like blogs about food and blogs about sex and blogs about life in general.
Today's blog is Chapel Perilous. Sylvain is a frequent commenter here, you may recognize her name as someone who leaves thoughtful, intelligent comments. Her blog is no different. The design is warm and comforting and I ofen head over there when I need a moment of zen. Go visit Sylvain - look around, leave her a comment and say hi. Do it For the Childrentm
commentary on commentary
note to self: tomorrow is stacy's birthday.
commentary on commentary
To Deech, who left this comment on my semantics post:
The problem I have is by advocating the use of the word terrorist to label Palestinians because they are Muslim and attacking civilians promotes the idea that all Muslims are terrorists and that there is no validity to Palestinian side of the argument.
Please point out where I used the word Muslim in that post, or where I said that all Palestinians are terrorists.
I use the word terrorist to label the Palestinians who ambushed and murdered twelve people yesterday. I never once said anything about Muslims. Please, read carefully before commenting on a post. You do nothing to further your side of the argument when you make shit up.
it reminds me of the photos showing the israeli people who are building illegal settlements in the occupied territories protesting and hurling themselves at the israeli soldiers who are coming to tear the houses down and give the land back. Both sides are killers and terrorists
Actually, it doesn't remind me of that at all. I have yet to see a photo of Israelis dancing in the streets when Palestinians are killed. I have yet to see a photo of Israeli mothers dressing their children up like terrorists. I have yet to see a photo of an Israeli classroom full of small, impressionable children having being taught to hate and worshiping the scenario of destruction and murder.
I have, however, seen all those photos of Palestinians.
Melissa leaves this comment in the post voices of doom:
This was released for war propoganda. The government needs a good reason to get Saddam. The general public isn't 100 percent behind it so releasing these tapes reminds the public that there is "an evil force out there"
This comment, and the story at VoxNYC which accuses the U.S. of fabricating the latest bin Laden tape to further the agenda of the war on terror, leaves me scratching my head.
I thought the most recent slogan of the left was "Bush is staging the war on Iraq to make us forget that we haven't caught bin Laden."
Which would make the idea that releasing the audio of the firemen and staging a video of bin Laden applauding terror fly in the face of the "make them forget bin Laden" theory. So which is it? The government is throwing 9/11 at us to keep up our anger or the government is staging a war on Iraq to make us forget 9/11?
Moving on to boobies, one Mr. Brooks writes, You just may be the perfect woman. I hate to burst your bubble, Eric, but I am not that great at cleaning the house and I am prone to changing into a huge, baggy t-shirt and a pair of boxers when I get home from work. I slouch, curse like a truck driver and I don't like wrestling or monster truck shows. I also, on occasion, am too tired to have sex. Perfect, I am not.
On the same post, Led writes: Hmm... you could always do your boobies up in camo paint. Maybe even diagram the mideast situation on them. Maybe you can become the BoobiePundit.
He may be on to something. I need to give this some thought.
And Rachel, as always is right. She says boobies is fun to type. Try it. Boobies. boobies. Yep, it's fun!
Troy leaves this comment on my post about fear:
Fear can be managed. Take up skydiving, and two things will happen: you'll learn to work with fear, and you'll discover that you can't be afraid of terrorists (or worried about work, either) while you're in freefall.
Yes, but that would mean first finding a hobby that will help me overcome my fear of heights. Being anxiety-ridden is a vicious cycle, I tell you.
One thing on the commentary on another blog. This exchange was posted in this entry on Joe's Short Strange Trip:
Question: Have you thought about switching to decaf?
Posted by Sean at November 15, 2002 03:32 PM
They make decaf viagra?
Posted by Joe McNally at November 15, 2002 03:44 PM
No, but I heard that God has a hard-on for Marines. Will that work?
Posted by Sean at November 15, 2002 03:50 PM
God has a penis?
Posted by michele at November 15, 2002 05:22 PM
Joe then sent me an email that said: No, you don't. I don't think...
That's a man who knows the right things to say.
And that's the Saturday morning commentary on the commentary.
November 15, 2002
voices
voices
Newly-Released Recording Captures Firefighters' Last Moments Before Towers Fell
The 73-minute recording of radio communications from firefighters in the stricken World Trade Center was found several weeks after the attack.
It was released last week by the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey to The New York Times after federal prosecutors, responding to a court request by the newspaper, said that making it public would not hurt terrorist cases. [emphasis added]
So what purpose does making it public serve? Why did I have to hear this on Fox News tonight, with the blurb "Voices of Doom" spelled out on the screen?
Please, someone tell me just one good reason why the public needs to hear these tapes played out on television.
If they wanted to just let the public know that the radio system was working fine, they could have just issued a press release to that extent. I don't need to hear the "voices of doom," as much as I did not need to see bodies falling from the towers or to hear the resulting thuds as they landed.
I don't know about you, but even a year later I still don't need reminders of what happened that day, nor do I need to relive the sights and sounds to keep the anger and anguish in my mind.
scum
scum
Can you imagine someone cheering the death of your father or mother or child? Please, tell me why it is that I should think of these terrorist supporters as human beings with souls? They are animals.
The sad thing is, they don't even know any better. They are raised that way, in a culture of hatred and violence. They are taught to be killers. The cycle will go on and on as long as the children are dressed up in ammo belts and grenades and paraded around in pride, as long as young men raise their arms in a gruesome cheer when twelve innoncent people are gunned down on their way to prayer.
boobs or brains?
boobs or brains?
So which is it?
Shall I cater to the sexist pig (not that there's anything wrong with it) crowd or the crowd that comes here for my blood thirsty vitriol and astute commentary on world affairs?
Umm..does the latter exist?
Women, do you care for the boobs? Would you rather I post pictures of your attributes? I would if you sent them. We could do a whole Sexy Beeyotches of Blogging thing.
I was thinking I could pepper my commentary with pictures that attest to my exhibitionist nature. And if I mix talk of Saddam and no-smoking laws with talk of the cunnilingus fairy and blowjobs, does that lessen any credibility I have the more intelligent and thoughtful of you or does it even matter?
Does sex and politics even mix? I mean, I'm sure for someone like Nancy Pelosi sex is politics in that whip you into submission sort of way. But does it work for me? Is it working for you? Would anyone like a cigarette?
Juan, did you get my tequila and tampons?
we have a winner
We have a winner!
Finally, the moment you have all been waiting for.
The winner of the 2002 Pro-Invasion/Get Your War On Jingle Contest is.......
Bill Whittle with his take on Bare Naked Ladies' One Week
It's been
one week since the GOP
took the congress back and said "we're angry"
Five days
I've been watching news
Saddam, man, I'm glad I'm not in YOUR shoes
Three days till you hear the boom
might want board the windows on the bedroom
Yesterday
I sure hoped I'd see
precision strikes against everything Iraqi
Hold on now and watch the French blink
I'm sure that they think
That they have stopped The Cowboy Nation
They're telling us not to fuss, get on their surrender bus
I like the Marines 'cause never lose a battle, man
Like Nagasaki during Last Time
We'll use our nukes prime
Because we're all about value
Fisk will have a bunch of mad fits
He'll try to match wits
You'll have to keep yourself from laughing
Gonna make a break and take that fake
and make that stinkin commie shake
I'd like to kill him, it's the finest of the favours
Gotta see the show, cause then you'll know
That Baathist crap has got to go
Cause it's so dangerous, and we're never gonna waver
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though you feel bad
I'm NOT the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
We have a tendency to keep our minds on the job
We have a history of taking no more shit...
Bill will get a prize, though I haven't decided what that prize is yet.
Congratulations, Bill and thank you to all the participants as well as the judges: Stacy, Joe, Lair and Dodd.
I'd like to do more contests, because they are so much fun, but they would have to be for no prizes because I don't want to take an extra job to support my prize-giving habit. And who would enter a contest with no prize except a link? Well, I would. But that's me.
semantics lesson, part 245
semantics lesson, part 245
Maybe you are sick of hearing this, but I swear I am going to do this every single time a terrorist attack happens in Israel and I fail to find the word terrorist anywhere in the story.
What do you call it when a group of people on their way to a prayer service are gunned down - killing eleven of them and wounding twenty at last count? If you are CNN, you say:
A group of Palestinian militants opened fire on a group of Jews on their way to prayer services in the West Bank city of Hebron, killing at least 11 and wounding 20 others, according to a statement issued by the Israeli Consulate in New York.
If you are MSNBC you say:
The militant Palestinian group Islamic Jihad claimed responsibility for the shooting attack, Israeli TV reported.
HEBRON, West Bank — At least 11 Israelis were killed and about 20 others were wounded Friday when Palestinian militants opened fire on Jewish
worshippers as they walked toward a disputed shrine after sundown.
Washington Post/AP:
Palestinian militants opened fire on Jewish worshippers as they walked toward a disputed shrine after sundown Friday, killing at least 10 people and wounding 15 others, the Israeli military said.
[all emphasis added]
They are terrorists. T-E-R-R-O-R-I-S-T-S. What part of this do they not understand?
ter·ror·ist
n.
One that engages in acts or an act of terrorism
ter·ror·ism
n.
The unlawful use or threatened use of force or violence by a person or an organized group against people or property with the intention of intimidating or coercing societies or governments, often for ideological or political reasons.
If it looks like a terrorist, acts like a terrorist.....
boobies
(o)(o)
Attention: This is the last call for boobies! Wet boobies, dry boobies, boobies covered in ice cream. Don't delay, hurry now, operators are standing by. Give til it hurts and when you're done giving, grab a box of tissues or a tube sock and make it stop hurting.
Mine are on this page. They don't call me the tits of war for nothing.
*proceeds are going to a breast cancer charity, please see the site for more information*
for the children, episode 3
For the ChildrentmEpisode 3:
What are we doing to our children?
We are raising a future generation of wusses. Kids who are pandered to, coddled, kept from harm at all costs, wrapped in a soft, comfy blanket of political correctness and self-esteem issues. These are a whole generation of children who will never develop the coping skills necessary to get by in life without becoming a blubbering basket case of social deficiencies.
Take, for instance, what is going on in East Providence, Rhode Island: (link via number 2 pencil)
Concerns about infringements on free speech take a back seat when it comes to children's safety: That was the consensus among a sampling of parents interviewed about the new anti-bullying policy that was adopted by the School Committee Tuesday night.The policy, which will go into effect at all of the city's public schools, defines bullying as not only "unwelcome physical contact with the intent to harm, embarrass or demean another student," but also "verbal abuse, including teasing, name-calling and harmful gossip; and emotional abuse, including humiliation, shunning and exclusion."
I'm not totally unfeeling; I can see where verbal abuse, emotional abuse and intentional humilation will not be tolerated. But how can you regulate shunning and exlusion, let alone name calling?
Unfortunately, there will always be the odd kid out. There will always be that one kid, or kids, who are relegated to the corner of the playground, the last in line, the dodge ball victim. I know. I was one.
You can't force children to play together. You cannot make a rule that says "everyone must play with Johnny or they will get detention." Not only is it unfair to the children who, for whatever reason, think Johnny is a pain in the ass to hang around with, but it is not fair to Johnny.
How will Johnny feel when he realizes that the other kids are being forced to include him? What's worse for Johnny's self-esteem - sitting alone on the playground digging dirt holes with his heel or standing in the middle of a baseball field while the other kids chuck dirt at him and let him know in no uncertain terms that they don't want him there?
If all Johnny's problems are solved for him through mediation and intervention and peer group facilitating, Johnny will never learn how to solve problems on his own. He will never learn how to take matters into his own hands and he will spend his life thinking that there will always be someone to come to his rescue, always someone to do the talking for him.
Our schools are concentrating more and more on social issues over academic issues. Administators are more concerned with making sure the children are all nice to each other than they are with passing test scores. Across the country, there are curriculums devoted to tolerance, multi culturalism, peace, environmental activism and self-esteem.
The Sudbury Valley School is a place where children are free.Their natural curiosity is the starting point for everything that happens at the school.
Here, students initiate all their own activities. The staff, the plant, the equipment are there to answer their needs. Learning takes place in formal and informal settings, in large and small groups, or individually. All ages are free to mix at all times. The dynamics among students of different ages, helping each other learn about everything from human relations to math, is one of the greatest strengths of the school.
Students share responsibility for their own environment, and for the quality of life at school. The school is managed by the weekly School Meeting, where every student and staff member has a vote: an education at Sudbury Valley is also an education in hands-on democracy.
Where do the students learn about discipline, about respecting their elders and following rules, standards guidelines? How does this prepare them for the future when the world is not like this at all? Would you send your child to a school where the introduction to the institution mentions nothing about academics?
There's nothing wrong with being a free-thinker or raising your kids to be free thinking. I do it myself. But must we make schools evolve to the point where they are nothing but self-esteem factories? I do not send my children to school to learn social graces, peer mediation or making decisions regarding school policy.
Too many parents are willing to turn over the teaching of morals and social niceties to schools. They blame the school when their child is having social problems or esteem problems and expect the teachers to fix it up for them, and then they get angry that the teachers aren't spending enough time teaching the basics of academics.
Personally, I'd rather see my children graduatate from school having learned how to spell, read, write, and have basic math and science skills than have them graduate with a diploma in peace making skills, leaving them totally unemployable.
Teach your children well, yes. But teach them at home and let the schools get back to teaching how to follow rules and multiply fractions.
*do not take this post to mean that I think bullying should be tolerated; see this piece here for my take on bullying.
going underground
going underground
You think these may have something to do with my sense of fear?
FBI warns of spectacular attack
FBI: Threats to hospitals in four cities
U.S. braces for exection reprisals
Eurpopeans warn of terror attacks
U.S., Iraq may be nearing showdown
New York City headed for fiscal disaster not seen since the days of Abe Beame*
*OK, I made that headline up.
dream a little dream
dream a little dream
I woke up frightened and I'm sure it had something to do with my dreams. It was another of my post-apocolyptic dreams and Saddam was there and bin Laden was there an you were there!
So there I was, in the dark at 4am thinking about terrorism and war and and that war being played out on our soil, at least in part. I was thinking that some day one of those chilling terror warnings Ashcroft is so fond of is going to come true. I was feeling helpless. I went back to sleep and had some more dreams.
I can't gather my thoughts quite yet - I find it hard to shake off thos recurring nightmares that plague me. I need a shower and some strong coffee and a little time to gather my thoughts on why I am feeling paranoid. And then there's that whole state of education in America thing I want to get to, which leads me to feeling paranoid about the future.
For now, I want to ask you about your recurring dreams. Part of my dream last night was the one where my teeth start falling out. That happens a lot. The other recurring dreams I have are the typical school dreams (can't find locker/class/schedule) or the one where I have to go to the bathroom but I'm out in a public place and none of the bathroom stalls have doors. And since I was about five, I've been having the same dream about a plane crashing on my street. I am thankful for my lucid dreaming skills; I can usually manage to get out of the dream when it becomes too much or at least change the pattern of recurring dreams from time to time.
Do you have recurring dreams? Are they always the same? Do you ever have dreams that you just can't seem to shake off?
I'll get back to the blood thirsty rants on the state of the world in a bit. Humor me here.
November 14, 2002
for the children, episode 2
For the Children™., Episode 2: People kill People
A jury has awarded the widow of teacher Barry Grunow $1.2 million from a gun distributor.Pam Grunow's lawsuit accused Valor Corp of distributing a gun that was "unsafe, defective and lacked features that would have prevented a minor from using it."
No word about suing anyone for distributing a parent that "would have prevented the minor from using a gun."
Pam Grunow's lawyer asked for $76 million. But the jury found gun distributor Valor Corporation 5 percent liable for Grunow's death. The owner of the gun and the school board held the most of the liability, the jury found.The jury didn't find any liability for Nathanial Brazill, who pulled the trigger. Brazill stole the unloaded gun and bullets from a cookie tin stashed away in a dresser drawer of family friend Elmore McCray.
I find the jury guilty of complete idiocy. I find the mother of Nathanial Brazill guilty of raising a child who has such blatant disregard for human life. I find Nathanial Brazill guilty of, well...murder.
Let's just hang a sign on the door to the halls of justice that says "Out of Order."
YOU'RE out of order! YOU'RE out of order! THE WHOLE TRIAL is out of order!
for the children, episode 1
Let's call tonight's episode For The Children™..
Episode 1: The Berkeley Brigade
Pre-School Kids Protest Possible War in Iraq
Last winter I was watching a special on some cable channel about anti-abortion protesters. They interviewed a woman from California - a self professed "hippie" - who let out a stream of bile so thick it was pratically drooling down her chin. Her problem was not the protesters per se, but the fact that they had dragged their children out to protest with them. The children held signs of pregnant women with the word "killer" sprawled across their bellies. I agreed totally with this woman that the children were being used and programmed.
But I wonder now if that woman was among the Berekely protesters who brought their pre-schoolers out for a good old anit-war protest. There is no difference is there? Well, the ideology is different, the cause is different. But the end result: using and programming children to think in a specific manner.
Though most students at the rally could not even name Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, many seemed certain the pending U.S. led war in Iraq is about oil.Celia, age 6, who could not spell her hyphenated last name, told the crowd President Bush "wants to make war because he wants oil.
Isn't that precious? I can imagine the talk at mommy and me groups in Berkeley: "Oh, Rainbow said her first words today! She said, 'it's about the oiiiiiiiillll!"
I have two children. I am raising them to think for themselves, to form their own opinions and to not be sheep amongst a flock. Never in a million years would it occur to me to indoctrinate my children into one of my causes or beliefs at such an early age - before they are able to form opinions of their own based on their own research.
Later, when asked if she could name the president of Iraq, Celia, stumped, turned to a friend and asked, "Is it a boy or a girl?" Her friend, equally puzzled, responded, "I think it's a boy."Noah, who declined to give his last name, also age six, asserted the looming war is not only about oil, but also "other things, like Bush wanting land."
"It is like us squashing ants," he said
There is not a shred of difference between these children holding signs that says "Bush is a bully" and the children who hold up signs adorned with pictures of fetuses and "baby killer" sprawled across them. And, sadly, there is not a shred of difference between the way these parents are using their children to further their own agenda.
And just what is that agenda? Apparently it has nothing to do with getting a real education:
The rally was organized through several Berkeley pre-schools that pride themselves on their alternative curriculum. At New School, academics are set aside for physical activities like yoga. And at Berkwood Hedge, a private K-5 school with 115 students, the curriculum focuses largely on issues of social justice. This year's theme at the school is peace. Students in after school programs at public elementary schools in the city also comprised the congregation of young peace protesters.Looks like they are educating their kids to be party of the next generation of protesters and marchers. They sure aren't educating them to face the real world when they get out of school.
This is what they've been learning at school," she said. "They have been taught about conflict resolution, and here they see it in action. The kids get to wrestle with bigger questions."Director of New School in Berkeley Susan Hagen said the children are "very concerned about what is going on in the world." "They don't want war. We teach them about talking, discussion, and negotiation."
But Skyler Johnson, 5, hadn't learned much about the conflict in Iraq. When he was asked who is the President of Iraq, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "My mom might know." After she came over and gave him a little coaching, he was able to muster, "We don't want war. Oil kills lots of people."
The children are "very concerned about what is going on in the world..
They are more concerned with pleasing their parents.
They have been taught about conflict resolution, and here they see it in action. The kids get to wrestle with bigger questions."
They are being trained to take over Indymedia when their parents get too old to carry on. The bigger questions? You mean like who is Saddam Hussein? Sure, the kids are learning an awful lot in school. Everything but the facts they need to form their own opinions.
Can we say exploitation? Good. I knew you could.
I bet you never thought you would see the day when Berekely protesters could be lumped into the same group as abortion protesters. But here it is.
waaaaaaaaant
So there's this 80's metal song - most likely a hair metal band - and the chorus goes "Just tell me what you waaaaaaaaant" and it's driving me crazy because I can't think of the band.
The dorkass guy in the comic book store was playing an acoustic live version of it and I really wanted to make fun of him.
Anyone?
*update* Question answered, thanks to the help of a former Long Islander, who recognized the lyrics from Long Island's oldest hair metal band, Zebra. Aahh, the memories.
say it with me, once again
say it....
Once again, I must repeat myself.
Muhammed Neifeh surrendered along with two other Fatah activists.
militant Islamic group Hamas
CNN has a way to circumvent the terrorist issue. They qualify all their statements regarding terrorist groups with the phrase branded a terrorist group by the U.S.
The Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades, a militant offshoot of Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat's Fatah movement branded a terrorist group by the U.S., had claimed responsibility for the kibbutz attack.
Hamas, a Palestinian Islamic fundamentalist organization, has been labeled by the U.S. State Department as a terrorist organization
Another interesting note is that in a 21 paragraph story whose main subject is the capture of a terrorist who murdered a mother and her two young sons (the title of the story is, after all, Israel: Kibbutz attack suspect arrested), seven paragraphs are about the actual arrest and murder. Just sayin'.
tits of war
You may now refer to me by my new title, Tits of War, also know as the evil, bloodthirsty, breast having, warblogging trollop .
The hell with the PTA and their offer of making the Environmental Committee Chairperson. They wouldn't appreciate a good cleavage shot if the nipples were pointed right at them.
I've had a lot of coffee today.
And where the hell are all my commenters today? Did I say you could have a day off?
And my Sullivan Number is 2.
You would be surprised at how much real work I got done today in between all this nonsense.
lefty news
I guess the Democrats still don't realize that this past election was all about courting the moderates, because they still are entrenched in their love affair with the far left.
spread em
spread em
I love when a high-brow, well thought out idea of mine takes off in the world of academia. Ok, that never happened. But one of my really perverted ideas has taken off in the world of blogs. Remember the Cunnilingus Fairy?
It seems a bit of hate mail has caused Neal of Random Nuclear Strikes to ponder changing the name of his blog. Well, just go read the post. It's funnier than Michael Jackson's new face.
bang bang
bang bang
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Which Firearm are you? |
No idea what this gun is capable of, but it sure looks cool. I think I may be dangerous. Or treacherous. Or maybe I just look cool but I'm really just a pussy. Come on all you gun nuts, tell me what this gun does.
note
I'd like to say something on the subject of commenting for the sake of self-linking: I encourage it. If you have posted something on the same subject I have, please (if you don't have trackback capabilities) by all means leave a comment with a link. Yes, even if your view opposes mine. I'm not an ogre, really.
I was going to add Michael Jackson to my list of subject to tackle today, but Laurence saved me the trouble. Head over there and give him a caption.
points on poindexter
points on poindexter
Peat asked that I tackle Poindexter first and it seems like a good idea.
You are A Suspect by William Safire, NYT Nov. 14
If the Homeland Security Act is not amended before passage, here is what will happen to you:Every purchase you make with a credit card, every magazine subscription you buy and medical prescription you fill, every Web site you visit and e-mail you send or receive, every academic grade you receive, every bank deposit you make, every trip you book and every event you attend — all these transactions and communications will go into what the Defense Department describes as "a virtual, centralized grand database."
To this computerized dossier on your private life from commercial sources, add every piece of information that government has about you — passport application, driver's license and bridge toll records, judicial and divorce records, complaints from nosy neighbors to the F.B.I., your lifetime paper trail plus the latest hidden camera surveillance — and you have the supersnoop's dream: a "Total Information Awareness" about every U.S. citizen.
This is not some far-out Orwellian scenario. It is what will happen to your personal freedom in the next few weeks if John Poindexter gets the unprecedented power he seeks.
Everyone - members of the Loony left, the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy and all people in between - should be frightened at the prospect of Poindexter's dreams coming true.
I don't trust Poindexter. You shouldn't either. Why should we trust a man who was convicted of conspiracy, lying and frauding the government? Why should we trust the man who destroyed evidence in the Iran Contra scandal? Yes, the convictions were overturned, but only because he was granted immunity. It doesn't mean he was not guilty of those things.
Now this man is Director of the Pentagon's Information Awareness Office. He has taken "homeland security" to new heights, translating that phrase to mean "We have the right to know all."
Poindexter represents the dark side in an administration that is trying hard be the good guys. He is Darth Vader; a mouth-breathing, bitter, control freak who is probably rubbing his hands together in glee at the thought of having a database full of previously private information.
It bothers me as it is to know that when I return something to Target, I don't need a receipt because a quick swipe of my debit card through their machine will tell them everything I have ever purchased there. It bothers me that there are people who think they should have the right to know what books I check out at the local library. It bothers me that our most private information is going to play a starring role in Poindexter's wet dream.
From a speech Poindexter gave on August 2, 2002:
Total Information Awareness - a prototype system -- is our answer. We must be able to detect, classify, identify, and track terrorists so that we may understand their plans and act to prevent them from being executed. To protect our rights, we must ensure that our systems track the terrorists, and those that mean us harm.**** IAO programs are focused on making Total Information Awareness - TIA -- real. This is a high level, visionary, functional view of the world-wide system - somewhat over simplified. One of the significant new data sources that needs to be mined to discover and track terrorists is the transaction space. If terrorist organizations are going to plan and execute attacks against the United States, their people must engage in transactions and they will leave signatures in this information space. This is a list of transaction categories, and it is meant to be inclusive. Currently, terrorists are able to move freely throughout the world, to hide when necessary, to find sponsorship and support, and to operate in small, independent cells, and to strike infrequently, exploiting weapons of mass effects and media response to influence governments. We are painfully aware of some of the tactics that they employ. This low-intensity/low-density form of warfare has an information signature. We must be able to pick this signal out of the noise. Certain agencies and apologists talk about connecting the dots, but one of the problems is to know which dots to connect. The relevant information extracted from this data must be made available in large-scale repositories with enhanced semantic content for easy analysis to accomplish this task. The transactional data will supplement our more conventional intelligence collection.
I am all for using technology to capture terrorists - especially if that technology will enable the terrorists to be caught before they are able to put their plans into motion. What I am not for is the government using the country's fear of terrorism as a guise to spy on every one of its citizens.
If the Homeland Security Act passes as it is written now, we are in danger of losing every privacy we know. This is not conspiracy theory talk. Look at the act. Look at Poindexter's speech. Look at Poindexter's history. Do you trust this man? More importantly, do you trust him with your most private information?
I have nothing to hide, but I don't feel the need to share the nothing I have to hide, either. No one needs to know what I am reading. Nor do they need to take what I am purchasing or listening to out of context. Connecting the dots in the wrong order can often result in ridiculous illustrations.
Glenn Reynolds has quite a few links regarding this subject, including a link to an article he wrote on what we should be doing instead.
Notes to self
Notes to self
Issues to follow up on today while procrastinating about the huge pile of work on my desk:
Follow-up on Tora! Tora! Tora! story.
Pre-school kids protesting war
The ridiculousness that early childhood parenting has become (for Raising Hell)
How much I hate the self-esteem movement in schools.
Leave more comments on Kathy's blog so she gets rid of the ugly, putrid pink.
Take this firearm test so I can further my agenda for being one scary bitch.
Add Nikita to my blogroll.(which I can't do at work because my browser will not accept URLs with underscores)
Pick out a sultry, sexy birthday present for a sultry, sexy lady.
Justin's theory that bin Laden has been in the U.S. since pre-9/11, holed up in a hotel room in San Fransisco, decorated to look like a cave.
That should take up most of my day. Feel free to ignore this post, unless you have something you think I should be doing that is not on the list.
santa gets blackmailed. again
santa gets blackmailed. again.
I'm long overdue for my annual letter to Santa.
Dear Santa,
First of all, thanks ever so much for fulfilling last year's wishes. NOT. I mean, those things were not too hard for a magical all-powerful guy like you to conjure up.
One year later, radio still sucks, bin Laden is still annoying the hell out of us and Ben Affleck is still making movies. That's three strikes, Santa. Although I did get that nifty Star Wars Lego set, that really doesn't make up for the fact that California has not fallen into the ocean yet. (To my California friends - that wish was under the stipulation that you all had time to escape).
So here we are a year later, and I still haven't used my blackmail card. I still have those pictures of you in a delicate position with Mrs. Frost, and still have the tape where Ralphie the Elf says "Santa, I don't want to play Priest and altar boy anymore!" So please, pay attention. Here is my 2002 Christmas list. You have until midnight, December 25, 2002 to comply with all these wishes or you will find yourself strapped to one of the missiles that is pointed at Iraq.
2002 Christmas List
- I would like all people who have no sense of humor or irony to suddenly lose their internet connections.
- I want to win Dodd's caption contest at least three times in the coming year.
- I want Helen Thomas to lose her voice permanently.
- Can you do something about Michael Jackson? A permanent bag over his head or something?
- Cause untold pain and suffering to this guy.
- Lobotomies for people who think the sky is falling, the world is ending, all women will be forced to wear veils and cameras will be implanted in your brain all because the Republicans are in control.
- Eric Lindros naked in my bed.
- A Woody Harrelson dart board
- A Michael Moore pinata (stolen blatantly from the comments at RWN)
- The head of Barbra Streisand on a platter
You know, Santa, I'm not anywhere near done yet. I still haven't gotten to the action figures and comic books and DVDs. Get those elves busy making my list come true, or Mrs. Santa is going to get quite a surprise under the tree this year, in the form of very revealing tape and pictures.
And while I'm at it, being that I am the most blood thirsty warblogger on the planet, and that should come with some power, I hereby command you to also give to my minions and readers whatever is they want for Christmas, also.
Thank you.
November 13, 2002
Ok, which one of you
Ok, which one of you hid my tv remote?
i lost a day somewhere
i lost a day somewhere
I've been out most of the day. I didn't watch any news or read any blogs or check out any headlines. I listened to about two minutes of Hannity on the car radio before they launched into a seven hour commercial break and I switched to music.
I don't know what pisses me off more - whiny leftists or shitty rock radio.
So here I am, 8:00 at night and woefully behind the times on Saddam and bin Laden and smallpox. I missed that brush with a presidential threat entirely.
However, I did get to see Natalie's teachers and it wasn't at all horrible and it wasn't at all rave reviews, but when you have a child that has been in and out of special ed most of her school career, you take that in between and you learn to love it and be proud of it.
Now, about that other petulant child.
This is the time when the news outlets that are so fond of quotation marks/scare quotes when talking about "terrorism" and "terrorists" should be putting those grammatical tools to good use.
For instance, this paragraph:
In New York, Iraq's ambassador to the United Nations, Mohammad Al-Douri, delivered a letter of acceptance to U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, telling reporters that it said, "Iraq will not have any mass destruction weapons. So we are not worried about the inspectors when they will be back in the country. Iraq is clean."
Should have read like this:
In New York, Iraq's ambassador to the United Nations, Mohammad Al-Douri, delivered a letter of "acceptance" to U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, telling reporters that it said, "Iraq will not have any "mass destruction weapons". So we are not worried about the inspectors when they will be back in the country. Iraq is 'clean.'"
Now, let's look at this letter.
Assalamu Alaykum
Isn't that what Mike Tyson said before he threatened to eat his opponent's children?
You may recall the huge clamor fabricated by the President of the United States administration, in the biggest and most wicked slander against Iraq, supported in malicious intent, and spearheaded in word and malevolence, by his lackey Tony Blair, when they disseminated the claim that Iraq had perhaps produced, or was on its way to produce, nuclear weapons, during the time when the United Nations inspectors had been absent from Iraq since 1998.
My goodness! Is that any way to speak to someone who is trying to give you a chance to redeem yourself?
Translation: Liar, Liar, pants on fire!
Then they returned to stress that Iraq had, in fact produced chemical and biological weapons. They both know, as well as we do, and so can other countries, that such fabrications are baseless.
Once again, Liar, Liar pants on fire!
But does the knowledge of the truth constitute elements for interaction in the politics of our day, which has witnessed the unleashing of the American administration's evil to its fullest extent, dashing all hope in any good? Indeed, is there any good to be goped for, or expected, from the American administrations, now that they have been transformed by their own greed, by Zionism as well as by other known factors, in the tyrant of the age.
Translation: It's America's fault. And Israel's fault. Classic passive aggressiveness.
He must have been hanging out with Woody and Sarandon recently. I think that last line is code for it's all about the ooooooiiiiiillllllllllllllllll.
Ok, let's move down to the last part because I'm really tired and I'm sure quite a few bloggers have covered this terroritory today.
Please assume your responsibilities, by saying and advising the unfair people that their unfairness to Muslims, faithful Arabs, and to all, will be of dire consequences, and that God, the almighty, is capable of doing everything. Tell them that the proud Iraqi people are faithful and Mujahid and who had fought the old colonialism, imperialism and aggression, including the tyrant's aggression, for years and years. The price this courageous people paid to safeguard their independence, dignity, sublime principles was rivers of blood, with a lot of deprivation and loss of their riches, along with their eternal achievements and record of which they are proud. Therefore we hope you will, Mr. Secretary General, advise the ignorants not to push things to the precipice, in the implementation, because the people of Iraq will not choose to live at the price of their dignity, country, freedom or sanctities, and they would rather make their lives the price if that was the only way to safeguard what they must safeguard.
Translation: If you attack us, you'll make the baby Jesus cry.
Yea, I know. I should have stuck to talking about boobies or coffee or something that did not require brain power.
I was going to tackle the story about the Bishops coming out against the war, but Ken Layne had the first and last words on this subject:
How about a draft that will likely oppose invading young boys' asses?
Why do I even bother?
By the way, I still maintain that despite Saddam's maniacal rantings and subterfuge disguised as acceptance, his resplendent presidential palaces will be nothing but ash and rubble come December.
intermission
intermission
Busy, busy day. Middle school parent/teacher conferences suck the life out of you - in shifts. I've done one shift and now I'm headed back for another round of "your daughter is so bright but...."
A couple of comments and I'll be back later with a new barrage of idiots to attack.
1. Nick and Raven: I have changed my locks and hired a bodyguard. But I'll give him the day off if you want to meet for Krispy Kreme and coffee one afternoon. Ok, maybe tequila and fajitas one night.
2. Taco got it right as to why I added in those IMDB summaries: look at the parallels.
3. I'll deal with the assclown from Australia later.
4. Carnival of the Vanities #8 is up. I forgot to send something in, but obviously they don't need me. It gets better every week, and so far this is the best issue yet.
Ok, time to deal with the English teacher who thinks standardized tests determine a child's entire future life.
over sensitivity
over sensitivity
When does one cross the line from sensitivity to downright idiocy?
(brought to my attention by Blogs of War)
It was going to be a night to remember. Ushers dressed in World War II military uniforms, vintage cars pulling up to the curb, Pearl Harbor survivors and a recently restored 1940s military searchlight would be on hand Dec. 7 to greet the crowds at a special anniversary showing of “Tora! Tora! Tora!” at San Pedro’s historic Warner Grand Theatre.The 1970 film — a joint American and Japanese production — is considered one of the most accurate depictions of events leading up to the 1941 Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor. Expected to attract hundreds, the showing on the 61st anniversary of the attack was to serve as a fund-raiser for the Fort MacArthur Military Museum in San Pedro.
But now the show is off. [emphasis added]
I'll give you three guesses why the show is off. First two don't count.
“I wanted to be very sensitive to the Japanese-American community,” Hahn said. “Dec. 7 is a tough day, especially for the second and third generations of Japanese-Americans. Why do we want to do something that makes it more difficult?”
This country has gone so far off the edge in attempts at political correctness that it sometimes borders on reverse insensitivity.
The number of veterans of World War II still with us is dwindling every year. Would it be too much to show "sensitivity" to the veterans of this war and to their families without letting the melodrama of victimization get in the way?
December 7 is a tough day for a lot of people.
On December 7, 1941, Japanese planes attacked the United States Naval Base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii Territory killing more than 2,300 Americans. The U.S.S. Arizona was completely destroyed and the U.S.S. Oklahoma capsized. The attack sank three other ships and damaged many additional vessels. More than 180 aircraft were destroyed. [emphasis added]
Spokespeople for both the theater and the city are backpedaling now, citing booking problems and a myriad of other excuses as the reasons why the event has been cancelled. Regardless, Los Angeles City Councilwoman Janice Hahn is still credited with the above quotes.
She is concerned about making the day "even more difficult" for members of the Japanese-American community, but she has no problems with making the day more difficult for those Americans who have an emotional need to commemorate that day. How sensitive is she to the Pearl Harbor survivors who were hoping to attend the event?
You can email Ms. Hahn to let her know how outraged you are at her words and actions at hahn@council.lacity.org.
On an interesting side note, IMDB has two summaries for the move Tora! Tora! Tora! on its site.
In 1941 the Japanese are at odds with the United States on a number of issues which they are attempting to resolve via their Washington embassy. In case this diplomacy fails, the military are hatching plans for a surprise early Sunday morning air attack on the U.S. base at Pearl Harbour. American intelligence is breaking the Japanese diplomatic messages but few high-ups are prepared to believe that an attack is likely, let alone where or how it might come.and
In the summer of 1941, the United States and Japan seem on the brink of war after constant embargos and failed diplomacy come to no end. "Tora! Tora! Tora!", named after the Japanese phrase to commence an attack, covers the days leading up to the attack on Pearl Harbor, which plunged America into the Second World War.
I'm not going to explain why I put the above summaries up, I'll just say that it has nothing to do with the movie theater story. Just read them and think about it.
November 12, 2002
tired
It's been a rather exhausting and aggravating day and I'm about to make it end by hitting the pillow. I was only able to return about three emails before my eyes started rolling in back of my head. I'm getting to all of you, really.
What I wanted to say is please do me a favor and go over to Arthur's place and read this post. Arthur is a personal hero of mine, for many reasons. Go. Read.
And if it's any consolation, the cigarette tasted like shit and did nothing for me. I think I'll stick to tequila.
the price of freedom
I didn't forget about the pro-war jingle contest. I'll be announcing the winner tomorrow.
the price of freedom
It occurred to me today that this is getting serious. Every day we are getting closer and closer to a real war. Although today's vote by the Iraqi Parliament had about as much meaning as a mime doing opera, it still brought an air of urgency to the whole matter.
I don't want a war. I don't sit here rooting for Saddam to give us the middle finger so we can launch an all-out blitz on Iraq. But I do feel it is necessary. I do think it is what we have to do to assure the future of this country, this planet, still exists.
People will die. Soldiers will go to Iraq to defend freedom and they will not come home. It will be a fearful time and a sad time, but one thing it will not be is a time to stage protests and start a counter-revolution.
The protesters of the Vietnam War did not stop the war. They only succeeded in making it a failure. We cannot let that happen again. We cannot turn the tide of war against us.
I don't want bloodshed. I don't want death. I only want freedom. Freedom in our future, freedom for the people of Iraq, freedom from oppressive, dangerous, barbaric dictators.
The imminent war against Iraq is just a battle. The complete war, the whole show, is the war on terrorism. They are all part of each other. Until we wipe out every group that is waging a jihad against democracy and freedom, we have not won. I am talking about the groups for whom killing 3,000 people is not enough. Groups for whom good parenting means strapping a machine gun to your child when he is five and teaching him how to hate.
Hatred grows like a disease. It spreads and strengthens and multiplies until it smothers anything trying to stifle it. And when that hatred is taught in tandem with violence, it becomes a cancer that knows how to do nothing but kill.
I know that war is violence. I know that war means death for some. But our reasons for violence are different than that of a terrorist or tyrant. Our reasons for death are not gratuitous; they are not borne out of hatred. They are borne out of defense, out of protection, out of wanting the future to be free of falling skyscrapers and exploding buses.
The reasons to wage war are often more urgent than the reasons to not wage war.
Perhaps it will not come down to war at all. But if it does, I am going to stand behind our soldiers as they go out to protect the freedoms that we hold dear. Yes, those freedoms include the right to shout down those who support the battle. But please, just remember who won that freedom for you.