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cats, sex, nazis and powering up

I had a dream last night that I was fighting off a gang of marauding, evil bikers, all carrying studded clubs and huge guns and wearing Nazi insignia. They cornered me in an alley and as I cowered against a chain link fence debating what my next move - besides piss my pants - would be, I did the obvious thing and took out my iPod. I plugged the headphones into my ears, scrolled down to R and put on Rocket From the Crypt. Then I stood up, crossed my arms and all but dared the bikers to come after me. As they approached me, guns blazing and clubs waving in the air, I calmly reached into my back pocket and pulled out a formidable, unbeatable weapon that I swung around in the air like a lasso of death.

The weapon?

nescon.jpg

As the bikers got closer, I smiled and started mashing the buttons on the controller. One by one, they disappeared until all that was left was a bunch of strewn weapons and a pile of gold nuggets in the spot where each menacing biker had stood.

I had the notion that I should go over to the gold nuggets and collect them, but as I was about to do so, the unmistakable sound of cat sex coming from outside my window woke me up.

NoMeansNo - Cats, Sex and Nazis (mp3)

I spy with my lizard eye and everything I see is a lie
You know when I told you I would never lie
Well, that was the first time
Take all the pleasures that you seek
May my heart be full and still be bleak
Cold and alone, hard as stone
Like a fuck when there is no one home
Beauty and fame are meaningless beside
The ability to kill with a look of your eye
But I defy you to see through me
Nothing is all that you will see

Cats, Sex and Nazis
That's why they call me Mr. happy
Are you a believer ? - well I'm a deceiver
But I lied when I said that honesty was dead
I really belive all the things I say to you
It's just that none of them are true

Zombies eat human flesh
Which part do you like the best ?
I like the heart the best
Zombies eat human flesh

If I haven't done all that I could do to hurt you
It's because my love is true
Or because my feelings are a lie
And we live just to suffer and die
I'll put a guarantee on all the beauty that I see
The fairest, the best, the first of the blest
All those whose souls are the ugliest
Hopelessly lost in their bitterness
Love me and you shall be free to join my eternal captivity
Just don't ask me if I believ all this bull
My head is empty but my bowels are full
I don't really think this way
I did yesterday, but not today

Cats, Sex and Nazis...

Zombies eat human flesh...

I spy with my lizard eye and everything I say is a lie
And what about you ? What will you do ?
When the sound of my voice touches you
When you hear me say, "This is true."
And the sounds of my voice touches you
This is true, this is true
The sounds of my voice touches you
This is true, this is true
Cats, Sex and Nazis
That's why they call me Mr. Happy
Why do I keep saying this over and over all the time ?
Because it rhymes, moron
What do I want to hear now, a love song ?
Are you in love ?
Is it politically correct ?
Or are you just another fucking reject ?
Sre you getting all of this ?
Or is there something you have missed ?

Zombies eat human flesh...

Do you know why they call me Mr. Happy ?
Because I'm so fucking
Smart

Comments

"Nazi Biker 2" has much better graphics.

You should've tried the Konami code.

STEP AWAY FROM THE CONSOLE, MICHELE.

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