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television lover baby, go all night

The five worst songs ever, according to CNN readers:

5. "Seasons in the Sun," Terry Jacks
4. "I've Never Been to Me," Charlene
3. "You Light Up My Life," Debby Boone
2. "Muskrat Love," The Captain and Tennille
1. "(You're) Having My Baby," Paul Anka

It's all well and good to go through the the annals of music and pick out a couple of schmaltzy songs to tear apart, bu when you do something like this, the results are going to be predictable. Inevitably, Paul Anka ends up at the top and Terry Jacks follows not close behind.

What if you did a poll like this, but stuck strictly to rock* songs? Say, no novelty songs, no teenybopper love songs, no crooning lounge singers.

Just keep in mind that "worst" doesn't necessarily mean I haven't sung along to it on the radio.

You got the peaches, I got the cream
Sweet to taste, saccharine
'Cos I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet
From my head, my head, to my feet

Do you take sugar? one lump or two?

Does it get much worse than that, based on lyrics alone? No, it doesn't.

I'll put up some mp3s later tonight of some really bad rock songs. Because one person's bad is another person's You Give Love A Bad Name.


*as always, for the sake of arugment and an interesting poll, rock music here includes, but is not limited to, any genre of rock and sub genres therein, including punk, metal, classic, alternative, hair metal, etc. However, we are going to leave black and death metal out of it, because that's just too easy.

Comments

I am thrilled to see this post come back.

And not a bit surprised to see Pour Some Sugar on Me leading your pack.

Def Leppard's had lots - Let's Get Rocked, Armageddon It, Make Love Like a Man... almost as easy as death metal.

I'll toss in Home, by Three Days Grace. I don't know if it started out terrible, but overplay has made it so.

What has nine arms and sucks?

Def Leppard

There are so many songs to choose from but off the top of my head I nominate:
Coldplay - Yellow
Radiohead - Karma Police
Creed - With Arms Wide Open

"i got you babe" sonny and cher
that "today is the greatest day" song by the smashing pumpkins
anything by creed

im stuck. when a bad song comes on, i turn it off

Radiohead - Karma Police

those are awesome lyrics

you dont get it, do you?

Karma police, arrest this man, he talks in maths
He buzzes like a fridge, he’s like a detuned radio
Karma police, arrest this girl, her hitler hairdo, is making me feel ill
And we have crashed her party
This is what you get, this is what you get
This is what you get, when you mess with us

those are pretty cool words

Heard Squeeze Box by The Who this morning, almost took a nail gun to my head. What the hell were they smoking when they wrote that?

Oh, uh, . . . yeah, the 60's . . . they were probably on everything.

Another nominee: Abra Cadabra - Steve Miller Band.

For all you now humming that . . . sorry.

And welcome back, Michele!

hmm... where to start...

"Sweet Home Alabama". Still the ass of songs.

Some song's have lame lyrics but the music is ok. "Seasons in the Sun" is the perfect combination of both. The sound itself is enough to make one wretch. His voice sends me rushing to the john. The lyrics pin me to the toilet for hours. No question, the all time worst.

"What's Up" 4 Non Blondes

Heaven, by Bryan Adams probably counts as a bad rock song. Of course, that doesn't stop me from rocking out to it.

"Mandy" by Barry Manilow
Anything by Air Supply

"What's going on " by 4 non blondes is my Sister Christian

Meatloaf. Take your pick.

Manowar's entire repertoire.

Hey, just picking off the easy ones.

im surprised no ones said "steal my sunshine" by len yet

Not everybody will agree with me, but I vote for:
Let it be
Check this out is very funny www.romoletto.eu

The lyrics may have sucked on "Pour Some Sugar on Me", but the music itself wasn't bad. Or it could just be that I have good memories of the summer of '88. I think that "Love Bites" is worse.

How about that "Hero" song from Spider Man a few years back? I also always detested "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake.

On an unrelated note (or two): Michele, I'm happy to see you back posting again. Also, in case you didn't know, at least one reporter from the Washington Post has read your blog.

Oh, what a fucking bunch of HYPOCRITES!

The same people picking Paul Anka or Terry Jacks probably still have those '45s in their freaking collection.

They weren't #1 for 3 weeks each because every one thought they sucked.

And I don't really need to mention my pick for worse song, do I?

You already know what it is.

I hate myself for even calling this "rock" 'cause it's NOT, but The Romantics' What I Like About You makes me want to die.

pril: I love Skynyrd. But even I have to admit, SH Alabama is worn out.

I really shouldn't read the other comments because now I not only have that suckass Steve Miller song in my head (damn you!) but I failed to note that anything by Creed would be in my top 3 worst list.

It seems unfair to say that Def Leppard's post-Pyromania works "suck". It's like blaming the 80s for being the 80s. It's a cheap shot. Steve Miller's Abracadbra sucks because it seems so far removed from the rest of his work. I still don't know why it was so popular....which leads me to this: i think a distinction should be made between "songs that suck because they are overplayed" and "songs that suck because they suck".

For example, Green Day has songs that can qualify for both categories, and Pearl Jam is getting dangerously close now that their older albums qualify as Classic Rock. Jeremy and Evenflow are in heavy rotation on our classic rock station. If they weren't overplayed 13 years ago, they certainly are now.

Do they suck? No. but i'm as tired of them as i am of Creed and Green Day songs, which DO suck. To be honest, Creed's first album has a few good tracks but i will never admit that to my friends. To me, Coldplay and Radiohead suck just because I'm non-comformist that way and avoid albums with mass appeal. (see also; Eminem, Hootie and the Blowfish, U2, Oasis, and Kanye West)

Crazy Chester followed me, and he caught me in the fog.
He said, "I will fix your rack, if you'll take Jack, my dog."
I said, "Wait a minute, Chester, you know I'm a peaceful man."
He said, "That's okay, boy, won't you feed him when you can."

"The Weight"
The Band

NEVER WAS A STUPIDER LYRIC EVER VOICED. EVER. EV-ER!!