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The Ultimate in Lazy

I'm trying to decide which is the more worthless invention; the Octodog or the bread crust cutter. So far, I'm leaning toward the cutter.

octodog_b.jpggoodbites crustless sandwich cutter.jpg

If you bought one of these crust cutters or have ever even thought it would be a good idea to use one, you have failed at living skills and need to turn in your merit badge for basic survival. In return, you will get your merit badge in "being really fucking lazy." It's called a knife, you can probably find it in your kitchen drawer.

Most useless invention ever? Or you got something worse?


hey! Chindogu!


Yeah, i think this almost rivaling the premixed peanut butter and jelly in a tube. Eventually we'll have robot servants who just shovel the pure lard into our toothless sagging maws. They'll then rub our throats and tell it's all going to be okay.

Then they'll weigh us and prepare the cooking pots.

Hey, don't knock the cutter. I bet it comes in really handy for toothless one-armed people who can't both hold the sandwich and operate the knife at the same time, but are somehow able to spread PB & J without a problem...

Nope, I got nothing. Anybody who purchases one of those should be sterilized so the "waste of skin" gene doesn't get passed on.

BTW, is it just me, or does that Octodog look a little like Cthulhu?

"useless?" Well, they both have a fairly defined use... how 'bout "pointless?"

Huh. I just realized that I'd actually have a little respect for someone who built their own bread-crust-cutter to save those 3 seconds every day, but absolutely none for someone who bought one.

I may be defective.

I just ordered one yesterday. The cutter thingy...comes in different shapes too just in case you are interested in destroying my spirit of "fun with cutters" mood.

How about the pasta cooking tube? It's an As Seen on TV thing where you put the uncooked pasta in and add boiling water and it cooks the pasta? If I'm going to go to all the trouble of boiling the water, I may as well just throw the pasta in the pot and cook it. Oh, to anyone who owns one, watch out, the strainer at the top doesn't fit tighhtly enough and then your pasta gets dumped in the sink...

I've never seen the Octodog before this and I have to admit, I'm a little creeped out by it. Maybe I've been watching too much Buffy the Vampire Slayer but that "dog" looks like a real brain-sucker to me!

Well, I have a fundamental issue with cutting crusts off. I swear, just eat the stupid crust.

And cutting a sandwich into triangles is boring. I think I learned the alphabet because my mom cut my toast into a different letter every morning. She should get some award for managing to cut toast into an "S".

I'd buy the Octodog just because it looks fun for kiddies. Thumbs down on the crust cutter though.

My all-time favorite has to be those late-70's electric hot dog cookers though. I love the smell of ozone-- it smells like dinner.

Hey, wow! Seeing you here again reminds me of a time someone told me to use the word "hoedown" in a sentence.

The result?

"You can't keep a good ho down!"

Glad you're back! You rool, dood!

The Octodog looks like a sex toy.

Why would you need a tool to make a hotdog look like an octopus? For that matter, why would you want a hotdog that looks like an octopus?

Speaking of useless gadgets, did you see this at Wired News?


I kind of like the USB Aquarium...

Actually, the crust cutter is downright smart. Cuts along the diagonal AND cuts off the crusts in one fell swoop.

Not a modern marvel of engineering, mind you, but a nice tool.

Can't figure out what's going on in that other pic, though.

I can't say that I have a link to it, but I went to have homeware store once where they had a gadget to take the seed out of an avocado. It cost 20 bucks.

Cutting off the crusts of bread on sandwiches is something only Communists do.

That hotdog thing does look creepy. I think it'd give my kids nightmares.

I'm sorry, but the whole cutting off of crusts is incomprehensibly silly to begin with. Kids, STFU and eat the crust already. It won't kill you.

In my lifetime I have never eaten a sandwich that had the crusts cut off, either at my request or by my own hand.

I've only eaten them when they were handed to me that way....and something was missing. definitely missing.

Leave the damn crust on.

Neil, spoken like a man who has never had a three-year-old pitch a fit because the crusts were on the bread.

Hell, I was babysitting my friend's kids and one had a screaming fit because--and this is a quote--"Mommy always gives me more crackers than that."

I was trying to give him less because he kept putting off his snack because he wanted to wait for Mommy to come home. My choice: Let the kid get himself into tantrum zone, or give him more goldfish and have a happy child for the rest of the afternoon.

I gave him a handful more of crackers.

Some fights aren't worth fighting.

Speaking of fighting, welcome back, Michele. Took you longer than I thought it would.

Okay, I'm going to defend laziness here.

Warning: long rant follows

Laziness is good bec

I further the above who asked 'why cut off the crusts?' Unless you have some well-baked bread for kids with few teeth, there's no reason I can fathom.

I think its Smuckers who sells these crustless PB&J pockets. Take em out of the freezer, 15 secs of microwave and the kids have lunch. The only even lazier than that is to buy PB&J sandwiches at a 7-11.

The Octodog is anything but useless -- I actually have one and trust me, for a bunch of seven year olds there is no better entertainment. We're contemplating decorating a birthday cake with Octodogs.

Oh yeah, good to see you back!


I could totally use both of those.

Do you realize how hard it is to cut those octopus legs even?

Where do you get them?

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