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oh look, it's another meme that lets me talk about me me me

I was tagged by Rox and this one had interesting questions, so I bit.

1. Of all the books that you have eventually finished after many starts & stops, which one took you the longest and how long did it eventually take?

I usually plow right through books. Sometimes, in the case of a really good book, I'll let it linger a bit just because I don't want it to end; I want to savor it. And sometimes I will keep putting a book down because it's painful to read. But, compulsive person that I am, even if a book is a piece of garbage that I loathe, once I've started it I have the need to finish it, no matter how horrid it is.

Case in point: Michael Chabon's Summerland. I had previously read his Kavalier and Clay and thought it was a masterpiece. Chabon is a writer who knows how to string a phrase together with such exquisite precision and flow, it's like his paragraphs are works of art. So I was excited to read Summerland, not just because of his wonderful writing and his storytelling skills. Summerland was touted as a children's novel of adventure and magic and baseball and I thought, what could possibly be better than those three things together as told by Chabon? In my review, I wrote:

The idea of taking all the things that made other children's fantasy books work and putting them into one story may seem like a genius idea at the start, but imagine it this way: taking all of your favorite desserts and sticking them in a food processor to make one uber dessert would not turn out well. Not only would you not be able to tell the peanut butter from the chocolate, but it would taste like ass.

Well, it took me months to trudge through the ass-in-a-blender Summerland.

It turned out to be a mish mash of half-formulated ideas that never gelled together. Despite Chabon's flourish with the pen, this story turned out to be dreadful - clunky, boring, tedious, cliche driven, etc. I put it down half way through and thought I'd just leave it at that, but I was compelled to pick it up again and finish it off. It took four months for me to read Summerland and, really, I could have gone my whole life without ever knowing the ending. It just didn't matter by the time I got there.

2. What great band (or album or song) have you heard so often, you wouldn't mind never hearing again even though you still think the band (or album or song) is great?

Faith No More, Epic.

My least favorite song on the least favorite album by my favorite band. It irks the hell out of me that a band with so many good tunes is known for the most pedestrian song in their catalog. Typical conversation:

What's your favorite band?
Faith No More.
Ohh, the fish video guys hahahah! or Yea, you want it all but you can't have it hahahah! or That weird dude with the high pitched voice - what is it, what is it, hahahaha!.

Epic comes on the radio and I literally cringe and jump to change the station.

3. Which cliché or often cited quote needs to be placed in quarantine for a few decades?

The whole "your mom" thing has got to go. From the internet to schools to even grown men using this phrase, your mom is everywhere. She's on coffee mugs and t-shirts, she's in songs and on tv, she's done everything with everyone, has fucked ten thousand different men and yea, she's hot.

Who took my soda?
Your mom.

I need a date for the prom.
Your mom will go.

Can someone help me with this presentation?
Yea, your mom will help hahaha.

Egads, stop it already. How do I know this cliche has reached the pinnacle of its usefulness? Just two days ago I was in a diner and I saw a man who had to be about 65 years old, paunchy, graying, thinning hair, the sheen of alcohol giving him that red-faced glow. He was wearing a shirt that said "Your mom thinks I'm hot."

This cliche is officially done. Your mom says so.

4. During the 1990s "Compassion Fatigue" received a lot of press, now the media is giddy with "Donation Fatigue". What will be the next trendy fatigue?

Disaster fatigue. No one will want to hear about earthquakes and tornadoes and hurricanes and blizzards anymore. They are so yesterday. Anderson Cooper and Al Roker will have to resort to covering things like Groundhog Day and Girl Scout cookie drives becuase no one will want to watch them wade through the remains of yet another disaster. Cable networks will see sinking ratings. Not even catchy nicknames (The Terror in Tennessee!) or flashy images (think animated fire engulfing Disneyworld) or spinnng logos or guest anchors (and now, Anna Nicole live from the scene of the donut factory explosion!) will make people tune in. 12 foot snowstorms will bring yawns. Tidal waves wiping out entire cities will bring a roll of the eyes. Imploding buildings will have people reaching for their remotes looking for repeats of Full House. Disaster, schmaster. Give us Kimmy Gibbler and Cut. It. Out. any day of the week over another (yawn) tragic act of nature.

5. What percentage of respodents will answer "meme fatigue" to question #4?

All of them. But I'll just tell them to STFU and turn the page if they don't like it. Booya.

I'm supposed to "tag" someone here, but I'll just leave it wide open for anyone to grab. I don't want to be forceful, lest I be accused of bringing about meme fatigue.

Comments

1. Seven Pillars Of Wisdow - T.E Lawrence. I had to read slower than I normally do to absorb the detail and I kept getting interrupted (2.5 months)

2.Jeremy - Pearl Jam. Great song - over it.

3. "Whatever"...An easy way for truly ignorant people to dismiss what they don't understand.

4. Political Correctness Fatigue - At some point, someone who really needs to be told to go get f**ked will be well and truly told to go get f**ked

5. ?

1. Fountainhead, and it took me several months.

2. Ten (Frank beat me- but it was my choice before I read comments, but the album is awesome, I've just heard it enough.)

I have definitely reached disaster fatigue, this last one, Wilfred, ugh, how can I possibly be bothered.

Enough already, just move to Idaho.

"On the Road" Jack Kerouac

It took me years of starting and then leaving it for something I enjoyed. Finally I left it in the bathroom and was able to finish it in a few months.

I'm getting ready to take another stab at Cryptonomicon. Wish me luck.

Your Mom goes to college.

oh, and Carin, did you enjoy Fountainhead? I personally had a hard time putting the book down.