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who wants to ride on my boat of negativity?
aka, the ASV hall of fame now has a BAD SONG wing

I've decided to hold off on the guitar solos category for a while, for various reasons. And the voting still goes on for One Hit Wonder.

As we have RAIN RAIN RAIN and wind again today (that's seven days in a row and counting) I am in a MOOD. So I've decided, in honor of the black cloud hanging over my head right now, to open a wing in the Hall of Fame for all the bad songs and bads and whatnot. And we'll start with that baddest of bad categories:

What is the WORST ROCK SONG EVER? The song you hate the most, the song that makes you run screaming out of the room when it comes on the stereo, the song that you would stab somebody over, the song that has the worst lyrics, the worst beat, the most insipid melody or that reminds you of that whore that broke your heart or the band that didn't know when to call it quits or maybe you just have some vitriolic reaction to a certain song and you don't know why or don't care you just LOATHE it becuase it's BAD. Remember, it has to be rock. No Muskrat Love or Macarthur Park or anything from disco hell.

Comments

Motorin'...

And Rob is looking for trouble right out of the gate........

maybe you just have some vitriolic reaction to a certain song and you don't know why or don't care you just LOATHE it becuase it's BAD

That song does it for me.

I'm sorry. That "pinball wizard" song by the Who makes me want to break things.

I know. I know. You may fire when ready, Gridley.

Worst Rock and Roll Song:

We Built This City - Jefferson Airplane

----------------------------

Worst Cover of a Good Song:

Heroes - Wallflowers

Behind Blue Eyes - Limp Bizkit

-----------------------------

We Built This City was by Starship...they'd dropped the Jefferson by then.

Since you made it clear about the rock thing, I have to eliminate every Whitney Houston song from contention cause they aren't:(...

Worst rock song:
Higher by Damn Yankees

Worst song: Heartache Tonight, The Eagles.

Silly Love Songs - Paul Mac and Wings

Does Coldplay count as Rock or do they just suck so much that there is no catagory....

um anything by Love/Hate or Jackyll will send me into a murderous frenzy, as well as "Thunderkiss '65" by White Zombie. "Sweet Home Alabama", be it in a store, on tv, on the radio, on someone elses radio, i'll leave or turn it off.

also, anyone who asks my band (past, present, future) to play Sweet Home Alabama gets taken out behind the venue and beat to death with whatever's handy.

Anything by YES, ELP, or Journey (with the exception of their first album when they rally were a band, not an REO wannabe).

"Higher by Damn Yankees"

Seconded....with Amazin/Crazy/Shady whatever the hell the 3rd one was as a tie for 2nd.

Anything by YES, ELP, or Journey (with the exception of their first album when they rally were a band, not an REO wannabe). and Styx.

Pril- you tryin to start somthin'

http://asmallvictory.net/archives/009352.html

Shine by Collective Soul.

Jefferson Airplane - "Go Ask Alice"

I dislike this song on so many different levels. It's annoying on its own merits, but also has that intensely annoying "can't get it out of your head" aspect to it.

And on top of all that, it's one of those "encompasses the story of Our Generation and is part of what makes us so great that there's a moral imperative for us to take 80% of future generations' earnings to fund our retirement homes" songs for annoying Baby Boomers. So it's always the background music for "the drug scene" in countless movies and TV shows made by Boomers. Even good ones, too, like "The Sopranos," where its presence is a blot on an otherwise great show.

American @!@ Pie.

God, how I hate it.

Heart, All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You. Ghastly, ghastly song. So fucking lame and cliche-ridden that I scream "NO!" at the radio while pawing at the off button.

Fucking hate it. HATE IT!

Paradise by the Dashboard Light-Meatloaf, Turn the Page- Bob Seger

I know I'm giong to get crucified for this one, but perhaps not...

Kiss: I wanna Rock and Roll All night (and Party every day)

Terrible. In fact, I don't understand what the deal is with Kiss anyway. They suck. Lyrics. horrible. Drums. I play better with a stick up my ass banging on a pot. Perfect case of all show, no substance. I really don't get the hard-on that people have over this band, and in particular this song. WDHA, and 104.3 (NY) play this song on a consistant basis, and everytime I hear it in my car I want to rip my radio out and beat it mercilessly against the dash in the hopes that Kiss actually feels the pain as though it is their heads I'm beating with my defunct radio.

But I digress- someone please tell me why these guys don't suck absolute balls, personified by that song.

/rant. Please move along, nothing to see here.

Three that make me cringe every time.

Stairway to Heaven - Led Zep
Is This Love - Whitesnake (ok, any Whitesnake song)
Glory Days - Springsteen

"Blinded By the Light"-any version. The fact that it's such a loooonnnngggg sucky song makes it even worse.

Jefferson Airplane - "Go Ask Alice"

I presume you mean "White Rabbit".

My nominees:

"Hot Dog" Zeppelin
"Old Time Rock & Roll" Bob Seger
"All She Wants to Do is Dance" Don Henley

I presume you mean "White Rabbit".

Oh, yeah, I even googled it because I wasn't sure of the title, and knew that was it, but had a brain cramp when typing that post. But, yeah, that's the one.

Wait a minute. Actually, I think "Ride the White Horse" by Laid Back is the worst song now.

Can't you hear the start right now.

Final Countdown - Europe.

It's just crap at the highest possible level. absolute craptastic.

"Baby I Love Your Way" - Peter Frampton

Absolutely the most horrible piece of crap EVER. If ever anybody wanted to torture me for information, they could lock me in a room and play this song. I'd tell all after hearing the first note.

That goddamn Steve Miller song, "Some people call me the space cowboy", whatever the hell it's called. Makes me want to gouge out my eardrums.

kotter, I agree about Kiss. I really liked them when I was about 7 or 8, because they looked cool. But their music? Nope, not even during my stoned teenage metalhead years.

So many choices, so little stomach for it.
"Highway to the Danger Zone: Kenny Loggins. Crash and burn already!

"It's Still Rock and Roll to Me" - Billy Joel jumps the Shark.

"Dog and Butterfly" Heart (Ithink). I don't know if this qualifies as a "rock" song, but it is still one of the all time worst pieces of crap ever recorded. Arf arf squish squish song over..

"That goddamn Steve Miller song"

ARGH, yes!!!! "The Joker", it's called. And I think that one might even beat "White Rabbit." I'm not sure there are any Steve Miller songs I don't hate, and a lot more people seem to like them for some unfathomable reason.

Wow, I'm blown away by the people hating on Seger, Whitesnake, and Zeppelin...what are you guys smoking?

The song that makes me reach for the knob EVERY time is "I Want You To Want Me" by Cheap Trick, aaaggghh!!! [I can hear that damn nasally voice in my head right now!]

Oh and I will add another one that I cannot stand:

"Hot Blooded" - by Foreigner

'Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I've got a fever of hundred and three
Come on baby, you can do more than dance
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded"

WTF is that s**t??

"Having My Baby"
by Paul Anka

You may as well call it THE definitive song for Pro-Abortion because nobody would want to have a baby after listening to that drivel.

ROCK song.

I can't believe no one got this yet....Carry On My Wayward Son....Kansas sucks !!! Dust in the Wind sucks too !!

I'll second the nomination of Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" and throw in "Maggie" by Rod Stewart (is that rock?) for good measure. Oh, how I loathe those songs.

Congrats. I hate all these fine choices. But my purest hate is reserved for "Hotel California"

I like a lot of AC/DC but "She's Got the Jack" has always irritated me.
Also, I'll never understand why "Satisfaction" by The Stones is so popular (it was even voted greatest rock song by somebody), I hate it.

I third Jefferson Starship We Built this City. Not only is the song a complete Pop-wannabe-POS, it sinks even lower on the scale as the former members of Jefferson Airplane should have funcking known better. My idea of hell has this song on the radio 24/7 with Styx bumpers in between.

The Doors "Hello, I love you" sets my teeth right on edge. Ok, pretty much everything by them does, but that one sucks on a whole different level.

"Hello (bum, bum) I love you won't you tell me your name?" WTF is that??? Gah!!

"My Old School" by Steel Dan

It's not really a rock song but they paly it on the classic rock station. Armed Forces Radio Network used to play it every friggin' hour, Sometimes twice in the same hour. That got to be the most annoying insipid piece of crap masquerading as a rock song that I've ever heard.

Oops. Sorry, read too fast again. No wonder it wasn't already on there. Okay, then:

"Jack and Diane" by John Cougar Mellencamp.

I know, I know, SO many people just love this song for some reason I can't explain, but I've always hated it and it's definitely a radio-dial switcher for me.

Just makes my stomach churn. As soon as he sings, "Little ditty", I'm breaking my neck trying to change the station.

"Hot Blooded" is right down there, all right. In fact, Foreigner is just about as bad as it gets in general, the nadir of corporate rock.

The absolute pits, then, go to F'ner, for: (tie) "Headknocker" and "Jukebox Hero."

The former, for being loaded with cliches and for some English clown, apparently in the persona of Scott Farkas' sidekick, singing about some American clown.

The latter, for having an absolutely horrible melody, beat, and structure, married to utterly cliched lyrics.

PS--Right there with ya, kotter.

coolrob, michele can start all she wants over TK65, but it doesn't change the fact that one particularly loathesome ex i have was a drooling WZ fan, and i had to throw him down some stairs.

Besides, michele and i have pretty similar musical tastes. I might have grown to like White Zombie if it hadn't been for that guy. He's the reason i hate GnR and Pantera, as well.

"We Built this City" has to win this one.

Runners-up:

"Rock Lobster" by B-52s
"This is How You Remind Me" by Nickelback
"Summer Girls" by LFO (probably not a "rock" song though.)

Ina gada da vita</>

Please excuse me if I spelled it wrong, but I vomitted three times while typing it.

The Final Countdown - Europe gets my vote.

There are many worthy candidates mentioned here! Plus - We Didn't Start the Fire (Billy Joel) and that Heart song where the woman picks up the guy, screws him, then has his kid and when she sees the guy again, the kid has his eyes or some crap. I'm getting dry heaves here.

This is a hard category. There are lots of non-rock songs, usually of the syrupy, sappy variety, that I can't stand. I have a hard time coming up with a rock song that absolutely turns me off. Worse yet, many of the above choices are amongst my favorites. I guess to each their own.

Having said that, I cast my vote for one above entry that I truly hate:

We Built This City - Starship

~ / Marconi played the mambo,
listen to the radio
/ ...~

just sayin' ......

A lot of the songs mentioned are more 'Songs You Eventually Tire Of' ...

I can't listen to any of the following songs:

  • Brown Eyed Girl
  • American Pie
  • Aqualung
  • Sweet Home Alabama
  • Beth / I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night - Kiss
  • Stand - REM
  • Rock You Like a Hurricane

Ah, so much crap, so little space.

Well let's start with ANYTHING by the Doors. Jim Morrison - poet? musician? Neither! The Doors make me cringe anytime I hear an electric organ.

Jefferson Airplane/Starship...ugh

While we're on Bay Area bands - Journey. shoot.me.now.

But enough...so many already mentioned (although, the list would probably be shorter after everyone had a few bong hits...hey, how do ya thing they sold as many as they DID?)

My all time, run from the effing room, gouge my eardrums out with a spork, nails on a chalkboard song is....

Lynard Skynard's Free Bird. Probably due to almost a year of every time I went to 'the club' on base when I was in Monterey, some jarhead with 1.5 beers in him would yell "play freeeeee buuuuurrrd!" until the asshole DJ did.

Three-way tie: Jeremy, Under the Bridge and November Rain.

Three subtle different looks at being utterly simultaneously fucking phony and self-indulgent

I'd nominate 'Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?' by Rod Stewart, but I still think of it as a disco song, and therefore it might not be qualified...

Other than that, my vote has to be for 'Paradise by the Dashboard Light' or 'The End' by The Doors - either song truly makes me nauseous.

We Built This City

Yellow Submarine WTF?

Shattered by the Stones because "Whoop shee doo bee" makes me convulse.

"Cherish", by the Association.

The others may cause the occasional spasm, but I had to play this every second hour on the hour+05 for several years, always with at least one sappy dedication to someone who probably wasn't listening.

Lynard Skynard's Free Bird. Probably due to almost a year of every time I went to 'the club' on base when I was in Monterey, some jarhead with 1.5 beers in him would yell "play freeeeee buuuuurrrd!" until the asshole DJ did.

Hey, Wind Rider...that was me! You must be wrong about the jarhead part.

We Built This City - Starship
Come Sail Away - Styx
Final Countdown - Europe

Loverboy.

Take your pick:
The Kid Is Hot Tonite
Turn Me Loose
Workin' For The Weekend

Here's a second on "Turn the Page." Gee, it's so freakin' awful being a rock star, huh Bob? Well, just so you know...

Taco Bell is Now Hiring.

Turn the Page... feh.

American Idiot - Green Day
Bicycle Race - Queen
Lady - Styx
Wonderwall - Oasis
Philadelphia Freedom - Elton John
Sweet Neocon - Rolling Stones

I could go on but just thinking about these songs is making me ill.

Ted Nugent - Wang Dang Sweet Poontang

That Nadine, what a teenage queen
She lookin' so clean, especi'lly down in between; what I like

She come to town; she be foolin' around
a puttin' me down as a rock-and-roll clown
It's all right

Wang Dang Sweet Poontang

Wang dang, what a sweet poontang
a shakin' my thang as a rang-a-dang-dang in the bell

She's so sweet when she yanks on my meat
Down on the street you know she can't be beat
What the hell

Wang Dang Sweet Poontang

AAAAAAARRRRRRGH!

Michael Damian - Rock On
Neil Young - Hey Hey, My My,

I hear these songs and I immediately desire the wailing of kittens in extreme pain to drown out their lyrics...

No picking on Neil Young (go listen to Harvest) or The Doors (go listen to their first album)!

I don't know if this pile of crap counts as rock but Elton John's "Benny And The Jets"
is the ultimate radio switcher I can think of right now. I hear the first bar of that and station is changed at the speed of light. Its horseshit with instrumentation.

I don't understand why so many people hate "We Built This City". I think the melody is great and so are the lyrics:

It's just another Sunday, in a tired old street
police have got the chokehold, and we just lost the beat!
Who counts the money underneath the bar
Who rides the wreaking ball into our guitars
Don't tell us you need us, 'cos we're just simple fools
Looking for America, coming through your schools

Insightful, thoughtful, cool.

Oh, I respect Neil Young and his music...it's just that song...that damn song...we hates it we do...tricksy youngssess...singings that songg he duz...

Silly Love Songs, Let 'Em In, No More Lonely Nights, Ebony and Ivory, Say, Say, Say by Paul Mccartney.

Start Me Up, Emotional Rescue, Undercover Of the Night, You Got Me Rockin by the Stones.

Hot Blooded by Foreigner

I Want to Rock and Roll by Kiss

Sussudio by Phil Collins

You're The Inspiration by Chicago

The Heart of Rock and Roll by Huey Lewis

Rollin' by Limp Bisquit

No Rain by Blind Melon. Pure wretchedness

I Don't Want To Miss A Thing - Aerosmith

Fucking CHRIST.

Anything by Toto blows chunks.
REO SPEDwiggin can kiss my sack.
"Switching to Glide" julsus just gag me.

I concur with that damned make love to you song by Heart. I think I snapped a tendon in my arm once when I went to turn the station before the words could hit my ears.

Oh, someone had to go and nominate Bicycle.

No song that was written as parody should be eligible. It would be like nominating Big Bottom from Spinal Tap.

Next someone is going to nominate a (or all) Poison song.

"Lady" by Styx.

"Epic" by Faith No More. Also, most things by System of a Down.

Lady in Red and anything by Phil Collins.

Take anything ever released by Foreigner, slap the titles on Pat Sajak's wheel and spin...wherever the sucker stops, a sucker sits.

Karma Police by Radiohead makes my teeth ache. In fact all of radiohead's tunes make me weary, can't stand them.

I have to go along with Amy about The Doors, just a different song: "Riders on the Storm."

I CANNOT STAND Jim Morrison's sliding, monotone voice. Change that dial immediately!!!

Another one would have to be Styx - "Babe."

I may have missed a notice or something, but your current "skin" makes it impossible for me to read your text.

I can "select all" and read the text in relief, but that's the only way I can read the site.

Not complaining... just so's you'll know.

Suli

I'm going to have to agree on "Freebird". I'm still sick of that damn song. I had a friend who played it over and over on the juke box at Mario's Pizza in Oceanside and to this day I can't bear to listen to it.
The. Most. Overrated. Song. Ever.
What song is it you wanna hear? Anything but that.

Michele, forgot to mention that - Using Opera as a browser, the background is black and the text is grey. All ok in Firefox and IE. Opera is my browser of choice.

Back to the serious stuff.

No way can Radiohead be nominated !
BTW, Come Sail Away by Styx is redeemed by the Eric Cartman version.

How about about "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" ?

I don't have time to read through all of the comments, but hopefully someone has beaten me to this.

Anything by Creed. That lead singer makes my teeth hurt.

John Fogerty - anything at all.

Worst voice ever.

Do You Feel Like We Do - Peter Frampton

Good God, I'd rather drive toothpicks in my eyeballs than listen to that song.

America - Horse With No Name

Awful lyrics, repetitive sound.

Maybe not WORST SONG EVAR but its gotta be somewhere on the Top 20.

"No picking on Neil Young (go listen to Harvest) or The Doors (go listen to their first album)!"

Why not? Crap is crap - and this is meant especially for The Doors.

-----------------------------

""Lady" by Styx."

I actually like some Styx stuff, but "Babe" and "Mr. Roboto" belong on this list, too...

--------------------------------

"How about about "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" ?"

Totally agree; in fact, Michele, is there any way, once the first inductee is enshrined, that you can automatically induct any song that involves Jim Steinman (as a writer, performer, producer, no real difference there)? Or perhaps he can have his own wing, on a sanitation barge in international waters...

Gotta go with "Jack and Diane" by John Cougar Melonball.

I don't want to hear about Diane sucking on Jack's "chili dog" (lame double entendre) behind the Tasty Freeze on my radio, dammit!

Rock (mainstream):
Stand by REM (and everything they did since the first album.)
All Coldplay and their immitators.
'American Pie'

Worst rock song:

Drum roll please...

'When the Children Cry' White Lion a song that truly makes me want to hurl every time I hear it.

Bubbling under: 'American Idiot' Green Day

Tie -

Stairway to Heaven & Freebird

Both make me wanna barf, and our local classic rock station plays them incessantly.

I have to go with "We Built This City".

Michelle, maybe we could change the game to "Band with the greatest legacy of suckage".

I'll nominate Journey

That song about jerking off, "Turning Japanese" by the Vapors.

Using a broad definition of Rock, another option is:

-------

Impulsive - Wilson Phillips

I wanna be impulsive
~ thunka-thunka
reckless
~ thunka-thunka

--------

It might qualify as 'Most Ironic Song' since there isn't a single moment of impulsivity or recklessness in the whole programmed thing.

"Take It On the Run" - REO Speedwagon

Song comes on, radio goes off.

And to think I used to rollerskate to this song. Ack.

HA! Workin' for the Weekend!

Michele, you offered this one for d/l to go along with a post about annoying neighbors and, just so I could get the full effect of your post, I d/l'd it.

I'm still reeling.

To make matters worse, my BF found it on my computer recently. I'll never live it down. Whenever I tease him, he retorts by breaking into the chorus and the damn thing gets stuck in my head all over again.

Insidious, I tell ya.