Horror Haiku
I was going through my archives looking for horror movies I reviewed (for the soon to be appearing list of worst horror movies ever) and I came across some haikus I wrote about monster movies. Enjoy. Or not.
Mothra
Look! Up in the sky!
It's a bird! It's a plane! No...
It's just a damn moth
Godzilla
Once he was so fierce
If only Godzilla knew
Broderick ruined him
Night of the Lepus
Killer rabbits lurk!
Wait - that's Bill in a bunny suit!
great FX, my ass.
Eight Legged Freaks
Almost as bad as
Jeepers Creepers, but not quite
David Arquette sucks.
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Hey, did you ever
See Johnny Depp in Ed Wood?
Then you'd understand.
Feel free.
Comments
Lake Placid
Betty White's gator,
ten yards of cow chompin' fun
root for the reptile
Posted by: BumperStickerist | September 22, 2005 08:11 AM
Friday the Thirteenth
Kids are acting dumb
There's a guy with a big knife
blood and not much else
Posted by: Keith | September 22, 2005 02:01 PM
The Haunting
The house breathes and leers
That Wilson guy escapes once
but the fireplace wins
Posted by: Keith | September 22, 2005 02:03 PM
Carrie
Pigs blood and tampons
Dirty pillows and Vinnie
Sissy blows a fuse
Posted by: Keith | September 22, 2005 02:05 PM
Return of the Living Dead
Zombies yet again
But with more vigor this time
lusting for your brains
Posted by: Keith | September 22, 2005 02:09 PM
The Blair Witch Project
I still can't believe,
People thought that shit was real
Some folks are just dumb
Posted by: Ryan | September 22, 2005 02:25 PM
Manos, the Hands of Fate
Dear God, make it stop
Is this some form of torture?
My eyes are bleeding
Posted by: Johnny Catbird | September 23, 2005 01:39 PM