« 50 Halloween Stories: #5 | Main | fair enough »

Kiss my balls, you filthy hamburger eating Americans!

Thanks to Allah (through LGF), I discovered that our buddies in Belgium have decreed hating America to be all the rage.

"Down with America" is the title of a recent song by the popular Belgian musician Raymond van het Groenewoud. Written in Dutch and published by EMI , "Weg met Amerika" ("Down with America") will be available in record shops as of next week, and was played on Belgian state radio last Thursday and Friday

Those wacky Belgians!

I've decided to help them out with their quest to make this Down With America song the newest thing to sweep their nation. What does a catchy song need (besides ridiculous lyrics and a good beat) to be a pop sensation? It needs a line dance! I the Belgians follow my advice, Down with America will soon be the number one requested song at weddings and birthday parties and even in night clubs. Come on kids, just follow the motions! (And yes, these are the REAL lyrics. Stupendous!)

Hamburgers and coke, yes you already knew (pretend to be sipping coke)
But do you also know the cause of the general decay? (two steps forward)
Short-sighted thinking, loud talking (make yapping motion with hand, two steps to the left)
Sticking to one-liners forever (hold up one finger, two steps to the right)
Down with America! Down with the jerks from America (give two thumbs down as you spin full circle)
Down with America! [...] (another thumbs down as you kick up your right leg)

Down with American colonialism (step forward, pointing down)
Down with that ugly, biting English (step back, make yapping motion with right hand)
All the Anglo-Saxon pretence, arrogance (spin)
Yes, a hot pick up their ass (slap own ass)
And that is that [...] (spin again)

I am from the Belgian, the European panel (two steps forward, heil Hitler sign)
And I ask you: "Clear my channel! Clear my channel!" (wave hands in air like you just don't care)
Megalomaniac unicellular idiots (jump around, jump around, get up get up and jump down)
Kiss my ass, yes, kiss my balls (slap ass, blow kiss to balls, clap hands and spin)

At the end of the song, everyone joins hands, gathers in a circle and move toward the center of the circle shouting HAMBURGERS AND COKE! HAMBURGERS AND COKE!

Repeat as necessary.

Comments

Belgium: the most boring country in Europe.

Good beer, tho.

thank you belgium, for giving us our Potatoes Prepared in the Belgian Manner that we enjoy so much with our HAMBURGERS AND COKE! hell yeah.

pril: you mean freedom fries?

Heh, Maybe Douglas Adams was right about Belgium. The crudest word in the universe.

Oh, Belgium.

Well, they also gave us Belgian waffles. And Godiva chocolates. And Brussels sprouts. And boring unaccountable European government. Yawn.

What do you expect from a country whose best-known symbol is a statue of a little boy taking a whiz?

I discovered that our buddies in Belgium have decreed hating America to be all the rage.

Oh. Uh, damn?

...Well now, the result of last week's competition — when we asked you to find a derogatory term for the Belgians. Well, the response was enormous and we took quite a long time sorting out the winners. There were some very clever entries. Mrs. Hatred of Leicester said, 'let's not call them anything, let's just ignore them' ... (applause starts vigorously, but he holds his hands up for silence) ... and a Mr. St John of Huntingdon said he couldn't think of anything more derogatory than "Belgians". (cheers and applause; a girl in showgirl costume comes on and holds up placards through next bit) But in the end we settled on three choices: number three ... the Sprouts (placard 'The Sprouts'), sent in by Mrs. Vicious of Hastings... very nice ; number two..... the Phlegms (placard) ... from Mrs. Childmolester of Worthing; but the winner was undoubtedly from Mrs. No-Supper-For-You from Norwood in Lancashire... Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards. (placard; roar of applause)...

 - Monty Python episode #37

It's either Israel bashing or America bashing...Poor Beligum can do nothing better than to try to insult us. I bet they would surrender as quickly as the French!

Yes, lets call them all names and belittle them and that will help us forget the fact that this view of Americans that some belgian pop-star has put into a song, is not limited to the country of Belgium. We are not popular with the rest of the world, and the views expressed in that song are shared by many other powerful countries. Too bad our American arrogance keeps us from listening to the warning signs.

"Megalomaniac unicellular idiots"
I like it...I'll use it.

Good beer, good chocolate, insignificant nation.

Dear disappointed,

yawn

Too bad our American arrogance keeps us from listening to the warning signs.

It's a pop song and like most pop songs, it won't even by on our collective radar six months from now. That hardly classifies it as a warning sign.

"We are not popular with the rest of the world, and the views expressed in that song are shared by many other powerful countries."

Belgium is powerful? Really? Would they be the popular 'jocks' of the world and we are the 'nerds'?

Damn it! Does this mean I have to stop drinking Hoegaarden???

With that kind of dance, this song will be bigger than Achy Breaky Heart and the Macarena combined.

We are not popular with the rest of the world, and the views expressed in that song are shared by many other powerful countries.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Sniffs. Wipes tears of laughter from eyes.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Godiva Chocolates

Pffft. Overpriced and not good chocolate. See's has 'em beat.

Just like California wines beat the sh*t out of French wines.

"Godiva Chocolates

Pffft. Overpriced and not good chocolate. See's has 'em beat.

Just like California wines beat the sh*t out of French wines."

No no no! Nobody puts the craft into whine like the French.

Does this mean I have to stop drinking Hoegaarden???

I did...the night the Longhorns lost to the Buffalos in the Big 12 Championship some years ago.

Damn Belgian bier!

And to think that the next time some country invades another in Europe, we'll probably be over there to save their sorry butts.

That said, I don't exactly turn to pop stars for my political philosophy. I mean, it's not like American actors and singers are all that high-wattage, so why expect it of their Belgian counterparts.

"Good beer, good chocolate, insignificant nation."

Yes to all that, except that's insignificant "country", not "nation." Belgium is not a nation at all, no more than Yugoslavia, Czechosloavkia or, before that, quintessentially, Austria-Hungary were. It was stitched together in 1831 from French and Flemish halves that then and now have practically nothing in common, and almost certainly overwhelmingly despise each other even more than any of them might hate Americans.

Part of the reason the Belgians are so utterly and naively fond of the EU (besides all of the hardly inconsequantial amount of sleazy goodies they get from playing host), is that Belgium was practically the EU writ small before there even was such a thing.

Belgium: The Happy Eater on the way to France.
Belgium: Favourite places of pederasts since 1945

This is a country where there are PSA's asking people to report Hardcore Child Porn. Like normal Child Porn is ok.

Belgium: Home of the EU...need you say more?

Beer is crap as well.

"Weg mit" is more like "away with" than "down with", really.

Of course, only three good things have come out of Belgium:

Fabrique Nationale,
Front 242,
and the German Army.

Comrades,

Of course, it was rather decent of the Belgians to line all their lovely roadways with trees. It allowed the German Army to march in shade all the way to France.....

That's right, Pierre! The Germans wouldn't DARE violate Belgian Neutrality.... for a THIRD time!

Mon Dieu! I thought the Belgians were watching our northern flank? Ah, but they WERE mon frere! They watched as the Germans moved up, then moved right in!

respects,

Gwedd

Were the Belgians the ones who threw a mounted cavalry at the Nazi war machine or was it the Polish?

Let's drop all our waffle makers on 'em... LOL... That'll teach 'em...

Whoeaaaahahaha
very intelligent postings.
All people are talking now of the popstar who is worldfamous in the flanders. i never heard his song, i have to listen more to the radio...
From Belgium with love,...

Hi i'm from Belgium and i just spend 2 weeks in California, so i know you guys are friendly people.

But i've seen american t.v. programs that were not very flattering for Belgians either. This is a song, many songs are insulting.

So this may itch a little bit because it was a belgian who made it instead of an American.

And on the other hand your country started a war against terrorism causing only more terrorism plus thousands of innocent victims (many children) were
killed.
That is worse than some stupid song.

American people are much nicer than their government

C'mon. He's just a left-wing, bed-wetting jerk with a monumental inferiority complex. That's all.

There's no more point in decrying Belgium and the Belgians, than there is in referring to "the French" and "the Germans" as weasels. Just because our respective governments wouldn't go along with GWB's stance on terrorism. Please don't forget - they were elected on narrow margins, and hardly speak for all of us. (to be sure - Gerhard Schroeder doesn't speak for me...).

Talking about elections gone bad... something "you Americans" seem to associate with Europe as a whole.

YOU elected Bill Clinton for president, remember? And YOU might well end up electing Hillary...

Instead of ranting about how ungrateful and misguided Europeans are, you guys might just as well join forces with conservatives and libertarians over here. Yes, they do exist.