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oh god no. no. nooooooooooooooooo

Please please please please please please let this be an ugly little rumor. If this is true I swear I will hunt him down and kill him before he can ruin one of the greatest joys of my life.

Apparently, Ashton Kutcher's name has shown up on the cast listing for next year's remake of EVIL DEAD,

They're talking about this on the IMDB boards too, but I'm not registering just so I can see what a bunch of illiterate twits are saying.

I'm sure (I hope)this will end up to be a rumor, but why, why whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy do people have to fuck with us like this?

Update: And it goes without saying that I'm not happy that it's being remade AT ALL.

Comments

Remaking Evil Dead is wrong, anyway. The entire charm of the movie is based in the fact that it really wasn't well done on so many levels, but it works. It's like an eager, remarkably ugly puppy: you love it in spite of its face.

All they can do to the movie is make it technically better--which would just sort of make it a typical horror flick. Ashton Kutcher just makes it all the more pointless.

WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY REMAKING EVERY ZOMBIE MOVIE EVER MADE?

That is all.

Remakes of anything (music, movies, television) have an incredibly consistent history of sucking bigtime; it amazes me that people continue to try and remake things. I mean, I can only think of one remake in teh history of remakes, homages, remixes, etc.; that was truly awesome. Everything else just sucks.
And hiring on that dingleberry from PUNK'D ain't exactly doing much for the already crappy odds. Bah!

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, can someone take care of this guy...

p.s. Sorry Michelle, I should have word wrapped that er something

I'm sorry, but I don't see how killing young Master Kutcher would keep him from being in a movie called Evil Dead. If anything, I would think it would just help him get inside his character (assuming he's a method actor, of course).

Point taken, HT.

What's next? A remake of Casablanca? Citizen Kane? Buckaroo Bonzai?!

Some movies should not be fucked with!

Solution: Lock Bruce and Ashton in a room with two chainsaws, let them settle it like men...errrr...S Mart clerks.

Why are they remaking this? The entire charm (if such a label can apply to this movie) is the absurdity of the entire thing. The low budget, the ultra-gory special effects, the cheesy acting, the introduction of one of the greatest movie characters ever, Ash.

Hell, it's the very definition of a cult classic and now somebody's going to f**k it all up by first remaking it and then getting Ashton 'Demi's Cabana Boy' Kutcher to be in it? Cripes, what's next? Ben Affleck in a remake of Evil Dead II??

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the MTV contract.

I don't care if they remake EVIL DEAD with Ashton. I won't watch it. No skin off my nose.

pats shoulder

There there, you'd better get used to it, many more crappy covers of classics to come.

This isn't just a crappy cover of a classic.

This is a remake of one of the greatest movies EVER starring an "actor" that I hate..no, LOATHE, more than any other actor in the business.

Wait a second, I'm still waiting for the promised sequel to Buckaroo Banzai! Also waiting for the sequel to one of the other great Bruce Campbell film, Bubba Ho-Tep. After those two get made then I'm all for no more sequels. If in doubt about the promised sequels check out the the credits for both films.

May he be impaled on Bruce Campbell's chin, forever writhing in pain for even having his name asociated with this travesty.

Am I the only one that wants this to happen just so Michele can rid the world of his face and entertain us while doing so?

Well, I was having a good day. Please tell me it's a cruel and evil joke. Evil Dead is great. Evil Dead is beyond great. Evil Dead is super.
Ashton Kutcher isn't any of those things.

Timmer: a couple of years ago announced a remake of Casablanca starring...well, let's just say that Gigli hit and the Casablanca remake was quietly shelved...

Doug,

What evil should I wish upon you for putting that image in my head?

They should remake Casablanca as a zombie movie. That would so rock.

What?

Well they are making V into a movie. What makes me laugh is they are re-making crappy TV shows as movies.

I agree why remake Evil Dead? It was what it was...and leave it the hell alone!

Ashton is no Bruce Campbell. Then again, who is?

Could be worse, though. They could cast him for all 3 movies in the series.

Can you just imagine Ashton trying to riff lines made famous by Bruce C.?

"Here's my boomstick!" Naw, not really as everyone in the cast snickers and can't contain laughing at the absurdity of Ashton even trying to recite the lines.

BTW - Doesn't this violate one of the movie making rules that were promulgated earlier in the week?

Evil Dead was already remade as Evil Dead 2, remember?

And Ashton will make a fine "that guy that isn't Ash that gets it early in the film".

Note that there is zero evidence that Ashton is cast as Ash. Stop hyperventiliating, people. We already have enough Andrew Sullivan in the world.

Actually, it's been confirmed by Campbell. Ashton, in the lead role.

They should have gone with Nicholas Brendan. He coud be a Bruce Campbell someday.

Judging by Ashton Kutcher's acting, I could've sworn he was a zombie already.