Today's homework: suggest new rules for the movie industry
Last week I wrote about reasons why the movie industry is losing money.
Today, we are going to suggest some new rules for the industry to make movies as a whole better, more creative, fresher and interesting. In short, we will tell them how to to stop making movies that suck.
Some of my new rules for Hollywood:
- No more talking animals
- Chase Uwe Boll out of town
- No more movies taken from video games
- No more cop-buddy movies in which the stoic, straight laced guy is paired up with the bumbling, comedic guy
- No more singers/rock stars masquerading as actors (see, Kelly Clarkson, Britney Spears, Mandy Moore)
- Stop building good movies around bad actors
- I understand the need for sequels, but let's stop them at three
- Good athletes do not always make for good actors (see, Brian Bosworth, Shaq)
- Movies taken from television shows are outlawed
- Stop even trying to make horror movies. Hollywood forgot how to do scary and I'd rather just rely on my DVD/VHS collection for a scare than sit through another supposedly creepy Japanese-inspired movie starring children and water.
- No actor can star in more than three films per year (see, Jude Law)
- More of: ninjas, pirates, zombies, evil clowns and Gary Oldman; preferably in the same movie
Jim has more here.