The Official Pamela Anderson Give Away Contest
As I mentioned yesterday, I received two copies of Pamela Anderson's novel Star Struck to give away here. The official blurb:
Star Wood Leigh is star struck in life and love. A hasty secret marriage to rock 'n' roll bad boy Jimi Deed triggers a chain of events that changes both of their lives. Together they soar to the heights of stardom and explore the dark side of celebrity. As their lives become more public, their secrets get even darker.
Well, they say write what you know.
And boy, does Pam get right into it. The opening of the book:
Why do my nipples hurt?
And thus, I've come up with an idea for the contest.
You are to come up with the follow-up sentences to that line. No more than five sentences. Points awarded for creativity, humor, absurdity, and quality of writing. Keeping in mind, of course, that the book is written by Pamela Anderson. Make it seem like it. And yes, grammar/spelling will count.
A panel of esteemed (and as yet unknown) judges will be sequestered starting 24 hours from now to determine the (two) winners, who will get a copy of this astounding addition to the annals of American literature.
And really, it's not just about the book. It's about winning something, anything. Like taking home that smelly, ratty stuffed turkey you won at the "throw the ring on the bottle" booth at the state fair. You didn't really want such a thing, but it proves your skill and talent and you will take it home and love it and hug it and squeeze it and call it George.
Just like that.
Contest starts now, closes tomorrow morning. Please leave all entries in the comments.