the miracle drug
I had yet another tooth yanked today (the last of them to be taken from me in this seemingly endless bout of dental work). The damn thing didn't want to come out. The dentist yanked and yanked and dug and pulled and all the while I clutched the arms of the dental chair so hard I'm surprised I'm not still attached to them.
So, the pain. Ohmyfuckingjesusonapopsiclestick, the pain. I think the dentist jabbed me 40 times with that damn needle so not only is my mouth sore just from being fucked by sharp and prodding dental tools, it's hurting from all the poking and sticking of needles.
I took some codeine when I got home and all it did was make me walk around the house saying "they're coming to get you, barbara....." The pain was still there. So I popped two Excedrin Migraine and crossed my fingers.
Joy of joys, that shit works like a fucking witch doctor's panacea. Ten minutes. TEN MINUTES and the pain and throbbing and bitching and moaning were gone. Ok, so I'm still a little hopped up on the codeine (which is probably evident), but I just want to say, Excedrin Migraine, I love you and I'd have your babies if it were possible, but it's not, and not just because you're not human and don't have a sperm or anything, but because I can't have babies anymore anyhow.
I'd say I'm a bit stoned right now.
Oh god, I hope they don't drag me into the street and beat me to death!