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Short Review of "The Village"

Things I would have rather done with that 1:40:

  • Hit myself repeatedly on the head with a ball peen hammer
  • Watch 1:40 of Badger Badger Badger
  • Discussed foreign policy with the stray cats outside
  • Watched Gigli, Showgirls or Kazaam
  • Stabbed myself in the eyes with a spork until blind
  • Passed a kidney stone
  • Watch Fred Durst make his "O" face
  • Watched all five of R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet videos

M. Night Shyamalan is a hack. Sixth Sense wasn't even as good as people make it out to be. Unbreakable was almost good, but he fucked it up in the end. Signs was the biggest piece of crap ever (ooh the aliens can fly all the way the fuck to earth but they can't figure out how to open a door knob!). And now this. Explain to me why the word "genius" gets bandied about with his name, because I don't understand it. And you know, the movie would have been only twenty minutes long if the characters didn't all speak in slow fucking motion. Listening to the dialogue was like pulling friggin teeth.

Holy hell, this movie sucked ass. It was asscake with assfrosting eaten with an ass spoon. Ass. Ass. Ass.

Comments

Michele, you should have known about "The Village" -- it got hacked in all the reviews!

And yes, I am actually ashamed that I paid money to sit in a theatre three years ago to see "Signs."

Michele-

What didn't you like about the end of "Unbreakable"? I thought it was great.

The ending of "Sixth Sense" actually surprised me and made me feel creeped out when I got home from the theater. For that, I give him credit. I thought "Unbreakable" was thoroughly fantastic, and "Signs" throrough crap. I'd read enough terrible reviews of "The Village" that when I finally saw it on DVD, my reaction was more "meh..." than anything. Plus, the "Signs" crapulance ensured I didn't expect much of anything.

The problem, unfortunately, for Shyamalan is that twists ended up being his "thing." They're expected, and thus the audience is going to think too hard during his movies, and the build up stands a good chance of leading to disappointment. Perhaps that's why I liked "Unbreakable" so much. It wasn't so much a twist as just-- in my opinion-- a really well done ending. I wish it had done well in the theaters. He's spoken in interviews about his original plans to make it a trilogy. I'd have loved to see his take on other comic conventions beyond the origin story.

I didn't notice that there was a twist when I saw the movie (just recently). I had to search out what the big shocking twist was supposed to be, since I hadn't noticed one.

So...does this mean you didn't like it?

No I really like Unbreakable, but I like anything thats reasonably well done and linked to Comics.

Not trying to hijack the thread- but since Frank brings up comics movies- I'd like to ask- is Punisher worth renting? That was one of the only comics I used to read religiously.

So, like, with the large popcorn, would that make it hot buttered ass?

ooh the aliens can fly all the way the fuck to earth but they can't figure out how to open a door knob!

ROTFLMAO!! Oh holy shit, that was genius! And the most entertainment ever connected to that sorry ass excuse of film waste.

Well, on the basis of the few Comics based movies that I have watched (Daredevil and Spiderman) I'd say Adam ,don't bother. They both truly truly sucked. Daredevil sucked more as it really destroyed the storylines developed in the truly great Frank Miller issues (#158-191 if memory serves me correctly).

Unbreakable isn't based on a particular comic, but has comics as its main influence.

In other news, Constantine did not actually suck.

I suggest avoiding the Bruce Willis "Hostage" suckfest.
It sucked monkey-butt.

Do not knock "Badger Badger Badger." I want to make it the new Wisconsin state song.

I hate to be teh losar here, but I've liked every Shyamalan movie he's done.

There I said it. I know it totally ruins my superior movie credibility but I think of all his movies as tributes to 1950's camp film. And on that level I can enjoy the heck out of them. I try not to overthink them. Kind of like Adam Sandler films which, in their way, are a tribute to Danny Kay.

Adam - the Punisher was well done, and it captured the feel of the comics very well. I own it, so I say it is definitely worth a rent.

This is coming from someone who hated Daredevil and the Hulk, but enjoyed Spiderman and X-Men, so I'm not just a blind comic movie follower.

I though Punisher was the worst scripted movie ever. That dialogue was horrible. I know, it's based on a comic book, but that doesn't mean it has to come off like it was written by a third grader.

Daredevil - sucked ass, except for Colin Farell, getting his Irish on. He's so hot, so that's probably why I liked him in it.

Punisher - eh- I own it, it was ok. It was hacky. Great comic book, great idea, just not well written.

Spiderman and X-Man - rocked, although I have some doubts of Kelsey Grammer (Fraiser) playing Beast.

Yea, yea, but we're supposed to be talking about how much THE VILLAGE sucks. And M Night Shamalamadingdong.

Michelle, lately you seem to hate damn near everything. You must be a real joy to live with.

I enjoyed Sixth Sense and Signs, felt horribly cheated by Unbreakable and The Village.

I remember making this observation about The Village: it was as if Shyamalan couldn't find a suitably dramatic ending, so he cast about for as many plot twists as possible. It's as if he was avoiding the drama, and that's irritating, because he started off with such great, frightening material.

I also hate how every one of his movies gets advertised with his name in it, starting with Unbreakable. It was only like his second movie, what the hell's up with that?

Randy, here's a lesson for ya: This blog is not my entire life. See, I use it to vent. Thus, the things I can't stand get the most air time.

But thanks for dropping by with your pearl of wisdom.

So far I have dodged seeing this thang,now I am dedicated to NEVER EVER being subjected to it.
But I could put Badger on all day and ,well,let's just not go there.....
alternating badger with Viking Kitty is OK by me,too.
Just say no to Shamalama ding dong is my plan.

This is off-topic, but -

Check this out:

http://www.adgame-wonderland.de/type/bayeux.php

i thought that sixth sense was an excellent movie mostly due to the twist at the end. on the dvd if you watch some of the extras, it is also interesting how he used color and alike further leaving me with an "ohhh... cool" type of appreciation for what he did. however, with that said, i think his follow on movies have worked soley towards haveing an unexpected twist which of course is then expected.

the village was ok for a rental for me because i wanted to see what the fuss was and of course what sort of twist he was going to make up. had i paid $10 to see it in the theatre, i'd feel differently.

as far as calling him a genius, i'm in complete agreement. no eff'ing way! his follow-on movies made decent numbers as a residual effect from the sixth sense. had signs or the village been before sixth sense, i don't think they'd have done nearly as well at the box office.

I was really disappointed with The Village. The dialogue was painful to listen to, and the plot twist sucked all the fun out of the movie.

For a while, I thought the bad dialogue was intentional, as a consequence of the twist at the end, but the more I thought about it, the less plausible it seemed. If the style was intentional, it was a bad decision. If it wasn't, it was just bad dialogue.

M. Night Shyamalan is one of those directors that is always talked aboout but over the years produce increasingly mediocore films. Woody Allen, Robert Altman, and I would also include Steven Spielberg, for the simple reason that it has been awhile since seeing one his films was an event.

VILLAGE - LAG = VILE

Yes, that sums it up.

So you're promoting a bad that sounds like Kool and The Gang after they had a meeting and decided that they should play music that sucks, and you agree with all the major critics that The Village blew. I couldn't disagree with you more on either count. Sorry. I still like the Yankees though, although they are really trying my patience.

You want a twist movie? The Usual Suspects. The only good thing about The Village? Brendan Gleeson. Shamalan? Poor man's Rod Serling.

I have a thing for ghosts so I liked The Sixth Sense, especially the little girl ghost under the bed and the dead biker ghost that looked in the window of the car; creepy. The kids reaction to that was pretty cool.

Signs wasn't too bad. The Village? Eh...

Apropos of this thread, if you keep your expectations low, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle isn't bad.

Amen and Hallelujah. You are preaching to the choir here.
I did like sixth sense tho, I honestly did not see it coming.
The last movie that gave me nightmares was Ghosts of Mars. It was the guy with the pierced cheeks that fucked me up. And I go to scary movies by myself all the time. If you go to the last show during the week there's usually no one there except you, and it can get really creepy, but like I said, the last one that I had issues with was that one. Butterfly effect was good too though.

I can't believe there's anyone in the world who didn't see the ending of The Sixth Sense coming a mile away. Did it not strike anyone as weird that NO ONE BUT THE FREAKIN' KID ever took any notice of Bruce Willis? Am I the only one who didn't think it was a little, oh, ODD that this supposed "social worker" NEVER TALKED TO THE KIDS FREAKIN' MOM?

What a steaming pile of horse dung.

I never bothered with "The Village". I thought Sixth Sense was extremely predictable, but I did like "Unbreakable". "Signs" just pissed me off. M. Night Howeveryouspellit, gave it away right at the beginning. And it was horribly lame.

Looks like I will have to be one of the odd people out. It seems as though Shyamalan's films are almost like beer in that they are an acquired taste. People usually really like them or don't. It's hard to find those in between people.

The first time I saw 'Unbreakable', I thought to myself, "Man, that was lame." Until I saw it again. Now, it's probably one of my favorite all time films. You can read a review I did here.

The way I see it, the special effects and creepy stories are almost secondary to the human drama in Shyamalan's movies. 'Signs' could have been done a whole lot better, but it wasn't so much about alien invasion as it was about a father reaffirming his faith (in God, humanity...whatever).

I enjoyed 'The Village' though one has to suspend disbelief in a major way. But again, the story to me says so much about human behavior (how they use fear to manipulate others) and how creepy that is as opposed to some strange forest creatures or any twist ending.

But then again, what do I know? Aside from 2-3 of his films, I think Stanley Kubrick is perhaps the most overrated director of all time.

I liked both Sixth Sense and Signs, but I saw the Sixth Sense twist coming a mile away because he stole it from "Jacob's Ladder."

I beleive my words at the end of seeing this film were these:

"I'm going to find him. I'm going to hunt down that bastard (the director) and I'm gonna kill him for making me sit through that. And then I'm gonna revive him so I can kill him again"

I was seething I hated that film so much.

"Assfrosting". Excellent.

We received it from Netflix, but I returned it unopened. Feh.

And theres' always room for Showgirls! Showgirls is also asscake, but perhaps without the assfrosting...

A directors films should get progressively better, not worse.

I was underwhelmed by "The Village." I've noticed that production is sparse in every one of his films; he spends the budget on his cast.

So I take it I'm the only one who liked The Village?

I thought it was a decently done movie. It wasn't great, but it had its moments. The soundtrack was brilliant (although the fact that I have a major thing for Hilary Hahn may color my impressions of it), and the casting was quite well done.

Had it been his first movie, I think it would have gotten much better reviews, but the fact that everyone was expecting the twist at the end made it much more of a letdown than it should have been.