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QOD: Lame Ass Music

Kinda busy over at Command Post today, so I'm just gonna throw this one at you. I know we've done something similar before, but the time is always ripe for making fun of bad songs.

Limp Bizkit's "Nookie" named Lamest Song Ever.

Sounds good to me.

And your choice(s)?


"Lamest song ever?"
That Jackson Browne crap about his piano.

Who frigin's cares? Tell me about roadies and hootchies!


"You Get What You Give," New Radicals.

Or, that crappy rappy Barenaked Ladies song.

Both of these give me hives.

Kid Rock's cover of Feel like Makin' Love

Patrick Swayze's "She's Like The Wind," which, for some godforsaken reason, is still on radio playlists throughout the country. It was the most godawful song from a movie, "Dirty Dancing," that was crammed with godawful songs. Swayze must have had some blackmail material on whatever movie or music executive gave it the green light.

If they played this song for inmates at Guantanamo Bay, even conservatives would say it goes over the line of inhumane treatment.

/ rant

Lamest of all?? Too many to choose from...

Soundtrack of Saturday Night Fever leaps to mind...

Bob Seger "Turn the Page" my least favorite of the "It's so hard to be a rock star" genre.

hey now.. don't go baggin on SNF... the soundtrack is one of the top sellers of all time!

nookie? dumb song. worthy of worst ever? fuck no.

paradise by the dashboard light (meatloaf)? that's gotta be up there.

where do you go? (no mercy) gotta be in there, too.

and what the fuck, they pick on kelly clarkson (no, i'm not a fan), but leave ashlee simpson and her fucking "make me want to la la" song?

now, i consider myself to be a bit of an expert on crappy music (trust me on this one), and it seems they've neglected what should have been a hidden goldmine of shit - 80's movies.

meet me halfway (over the top)? danger zone (top gun)? you're the best (the karate kid)? feel the heat (cobra)? my gawd, those are some of the worst human-caused noises ever.

Mmm mmm mmm mmm

Weird Al did a mmm mmm parody called "Headline News" in the early 90's . The ONLY reason I now (sort of) like the original is because the parody is SO dang funny.

I nominate Charlene's Never Been To Me.

Muskrat love by C & T comes to mind.

Su Su Sudio--Phil Collins

You don't just want to turn your radio off, you want to pull it out of the dash and throw it out the window.

Say, Say, Say - MJ & Paul McCartney

Anything by Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston. They are enough to drive you to a murderous rampage.

Hands off Saturday Night Fever !!

Any Sublime song. Now there's a band that didn't live up to the name, lemmetellya.

Say, Say, Say, and Su Su Sudio are gold.

That is all.

(Waiting for my punk rock credentials to be soundly stripped.)

Greatest Love of All

Bet you have no idea what my choice would be.

Ebony & Ivory is pretty horrid.

"Nookie" was definitely in the running for "worst song EVAR" until Richard Cheese did his lounge version, which I sing to my 1-year old niece as we dance and she laughs. I would have nominated "We Are The World"; drawn-out, over-the-top pretentiousness from start to finish.

"Nookie" was, and still is, a great LB song. If Durst was able to put out something like it now, he would still be considered one of the godfathers of rap metal. Unfortunately, Wes Borland was the key to good rap metal for that group, and Durst went nuts when he left.
"Rollin'" and the theme to MI:2 are great rap metal songs as well. Backlash all you want against Fred for being an arrogant stupid ass, but recognize that LB used to be a really good band, with great songs. They were the Quiet Riot of the 90's.

The Richard Cheese version is wonderful.

Limp Bizkit choo-choo, won't you carry my home!

America's "Horse With No Name"

I can't decide if LB being the "Quiet Riot of the 90s" is insulting to Quiet Riot or LB.

Muskrat Love takes it.

America's "Horse With No Name"

except it spawned an awesome Howard Stern spoof, "Boy with Horse Teeth".

"Mello Yellow" deserves an honorable mention.

Ed - re: "She's Like The Wind"

When the song (and movie) were "new and hot," somebody in my area supposedly spotted Patrick Swayze in my area. In response, the local top-40 station played that song and nothing else for about 14 hours, saying that they'd keep on doing it until Swayze called in.

If they did that at Guantanamo, detainees would be shredding their Korans and trying to weave the strips into nooses.

BTW, he never called in. I think numerous death threats towards station managers and deejays finally ended the torture.

Although I like the group, AC/DC had a way of making nearly every song quite lame. One pictures the group sitting around (stoned, of course), Bon (or Brian, later) playing his latest creation and saying something about not being able to come up with a chorus. Angus, over in the corner trying to focus, blurts out, "Bloody hell, mate, just repeat the bloody name of the song about a dozen times!"

A song is born . . .

"Jump" by Van Halen sucked much windage. Ooops, sorry no - "Imagine" by John Lennon. Worst.Song.Ever. If you don't know why, actually listen to the lyrics and then go read the Communist Manifesto.

achy breaky heart - silly ray virus

'nough said.