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friday ramblings

So that "check it out, I'm like a buzzbomb" thing has been in place for longer than any other tagline I've had, ever.

Suggest a new one.

Also, I'll be on vacation from August 3rd through August 8th. I'm looking for someone famous to take over the blog for those days. Are any of you famous? Semi-famous? Know someone famous who wants to blog? Should I ask Pauly Shore?

Ok, nevermind.


"One woman's ravings about nothing in particular."

And mean it in a loving way.

1) Any lyric from Shame on a Nigga
2) A phrase you used as a post title once: "Ignore at Will"

"Bloggers of the world, write!"

I could take over as Juan Gato, but I don't think anyone would get it at this point.

"Just f&cking with you. Just because."

"It's like Speed 2! Only on a bus instead of a boat..."

I suggest Allah. He's just been sitting around doing nothing, right? And he never upsets anyone, right?

As for the tagline: "I got nothing"

Curt Schilling for guest blogger, definitely. This place could use some religion, both the Red Sox kind and the Christian kind. Plus, he's a reliever now, and 5 days is probably his limit.

Second choice would be Allah, since he can bring those other religions, Islam and Mets.

Tagline: Can I get an AMEN?!?!?

But it's not that ray of sunshine that feels so warm...It's just that bottomless inferno...

That's just the way it's gotta be....

Actual battery life may vary with use.

Tagline: God hated you enough to send you here didn't He?

Guest blogger: me. I will be famous one day. I'm hoping as a published author, but sadly I could just end up as a Fark cliche.

"Check it out. I changed the tagline!"

"Fighting my way out of one hole or another...like the Yankees."

Operator dead. Post abandoned.


Pitching an audience the moral bullshit they want to hear.

There's gotta be a tagline in Airplane! somewhere, but there's just too many to choose from.

How about a classic from Jhonen Vasquez:

"This is a result of my terifying experiment with funyuns and pez."

Or is that too long? How about:

"I'm American, fat boy. What's your excuse?"

I am on a comics kick today.

"This is a result of my terifying experiment with funyuns and pez."

So far, that's a winner.

Anything that has ever come out of Vasquez's pen would be applicable, I think.

Make believe nothing is wrong. Make believe you've got something to say...

"Bridging the gap between insanity and just plain crazy."

Or you could just continue on:


That'd actually look cool up there.

Airplane taglines
A Small Victory:

the fog is getting thicker....

sucka don't want help, sucka don't get help

a blog like I like my men, dark

like being in a Turkish prision

do you like movies about gladiators


Yankees 1, Boston 17

Gee, Aaron. Think I'm somehow unaware of the Boston Yankee score? HOw kind of you to drop in here and let me know. Funny that you very rarely stop by here, but you do it now to tell me something I most likely already know and don't want to discuss.

But you've always been a dick like that.

Just changed mine to a line from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, something that actually applies to me ...

Wait, did I say that out loud?

I like the idea of a Vasquez quote ... I think G-do is dead on.

Aaron's a dick, but a little one?

How about some evil Samuel L Jackson ala Pulp fiction like "You're gettin' ready to blow? I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker! "

Edit to taste...

I was listening to Faith No More's The Real Thing and thought this might work. . .

The Real Thing. . .You can't refuse the embrace.

The tower! The tower! Rapunzel! Rapunzel!


My daughter's on vacation, don't push it.

Now with even more asshole ever.

This is a DLR zone, you know you want some.

Even without the little dead girl, I'm going to creep your world.

"I am a living example of Dianetics."

That should get you a cease and desist letter from Tom Cruise's lawyers, so it might just be worth it.

well - how about one of Michele's own comments as tag

But you've always been a dick like that.

or, for a breakfast cereal ref:

A Bowl of Quake in a World Full of Quisp

"'Walking that thin line between genius and insanity'? Who the @#$! writes this $#!t!?"

That was a proposed tagline, not a critique of anybody else's suggestions, BTW.

I would love to guest blog, and I'm definitely the candidate you're looking for. I surf the web a lot in my spare time, love communicated, and am quite famous in fact. However, I'm pretty busy most of the time, so I wouldn't be able to give you're readers the attention that you do. Alas. But if you decide to pursue the option, just have your people get in contact with my people.

All you motherfucks are gonna pay. YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE BALL-LICKERS.

I seem to be on a Jay & Silent Bob kick as of late.

It's a reasonable premise that there is some age after which it's pathetic to keep up with pop culture and today's sporting event. It'd be damned funny if headstones had hours of pop culture engraved on them so people could assess "what a waste of human potential".

I'm betting you'll be to surgically stapling yourself to "coolness" in desperation longer than Joan Rivers keeps plastic surgeons on her Rolodex.

New tagline? "Dithering away talent at the ephemeral altar of pop culture".

Nice attempt Aaron. A for effort.

I'm sorry that I'm probably not having the reaction you expected. Unless, of course, you expected me to laugh.

Everybody over 40, stop watching sports. Aaron says it's not cool!

Nice strawman, Michele. It's not about coolness.

It's about spending an irreplacable and untransferrable resource, one's time on earth, on something worthwhile.

Once you start considering seriously reading AARP literature in preparation for Social Security benefits, sports fanship should be limited to one's grandkids' Little and Pee Wee Leagues. Time taken for pro sports after then is at the expense of more deserving family and/or community. Observing pro sports absent the company of someone who shares your DNA after one reaches the age of 40 or so is hard to defend.

Yeah, you're free to do it, but if you knew your life was being videotaped and could be played for posterity, could you really make an argument that others follow your example of thousands of hours of remote-clicking couch time?

Wow. Whatever, Aaron.

Did it every occur to you that watching/going to sporting events is a FAMILY thing, something we do and enjoy together?

But you just get down with your righteous self, Aaron.

Oh my god, I misspelled "terrifying."

But - I never misspell!

And it got quoted!

By the blogmaster!

I am mortified now.