« one of those thingies | Main | Suburbia: Tales of Affliction, Chapter VII
You Would Even Say it Glows »

QOD

Running late today, so we'll just start out the day with a QOD:

Topic: Bad movies.

Have you ever walked out of a movie? Ever demanded your money back. Ever sit through a really horrible movie just waiting for it to get better but it never did? Ever watch a movie that everyone in the universe said was super amazing and you just loathed it and felt like you're the only one who didn't get it?

Yea, like that. Run with it.

Update:

Mine

Walked out of Chariots of Fire.
Hated Forrest Gump and Ghost World, though everyone I know thinks they are works of genius.
Sat through 3,000 Miles to Graceland and cried that I wasted all that time.
Sat through House of Sand and Fog which I thought sucked in ways that haven't even been invented yet, it's that ahead of it's time in ways of sucking. And Jennifer Connelly is a terrible actress with all the range of a badger.

*[This post brought to you by Team America, which I found umm...lacking].

Comments

Butterfly Effect.

20 minuntes into it we decided that if we wanted kiddie porn or animal torture we'd click-through some of the spam we get.

The Kenneth Branaugh Hamlet. The blocking and direction sucked, his choices in how to play Hamlet sucked and two hours in we knew it wasn't going to get better.

There's a reason that play gets cut down for films.

Once apon a time in Mexico. My wife and I rented it On-Demand and somehow managed to sit through the whole thing. We turned to each other when the movie ended and immediately both started talking about getting our money back.

Turns out, we didn't really care about the money, we wanted 2 hours of our life back.

I once went to the movies with a girlfriend who wanted to see "When A Man Loves A Woman". After the movie was finished I asked her what the hell was the point of that movie and that was the biggest pile of crap that I had ever seen. I also told her that she wasn't allowed to pick movies for a while.

Our 8th wedding anniversary is next wednesday :) When ever she picks a really bad one I remind her this.

Also add Reality Bites - I can't remember who picked that one, but that was another piece of shit (but we both agreed on that one).

I fell asleep watching Forget Paris in a theater, and I'm told I missed nothing.

Birth - I don't care what else Nicole Kidman has done, this movie was disturbing at best. We watched the whole thing hoping it would get better... it didn't.

Forrest Gump - I saw it late (after all the rage about it) and I kept thinking, where's all the hype coming from?? I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but I hated that movie and I smacked my brother who made me go see it. It was pointless!!

Only movie I ever walked out on was Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil... what a sprawling, vapid waste of time that was.

Though I only walked out because I only paid a buck to see it in the first place at the second run theatre.

Never walked out of a movie, or demanded money back, but Blair Witch Project was one that my wife and I both at the same time, about fourty minutes into the movie, glanced at our watches, as we were both certain that the movie couldn't be dragging as much as we thought it was.

One giant yawnfest, and a couple of hours that we'll never get back.

ditto Gump. Turned it of after 10 minutes.

I agree about the Brannagh Hamlet. I rented it -- both tapes, back in the days of tapes -- but only got through about 2.5 hours before I realized that this was going nowhere.

I had the same feelings about Napoleon Dynamite. It's not a bad film, but based on reviews from my peers and contemporaries (except for Radio Dave), I thought I'd really like it.

I liked it. A little. But I kept watching it, trying to figure out what the point was. It was extremely static. Sure, I liked Tina Majorino and my favorite character by far was Pedro, but basically everything Napoleon did made no sense to me, and I have NO idea why Deb didn't just date Pedro instead of switching to Napoleon.

I've never walked out of a movie or demanded my money back.

The closest I have come to this is The Clash of the Titans. A friend and I went to the movies regularly and after watching it we wished we had waited for it to be on TV so we could have changed the channel. (But that IS a bad movie so maybe it doesn't count.)

The only movie I ever walked out of in the theater was What About Bob? We thought it was horrible as we sat watching it. Funny, though. Now, if it comes on TV, we're hooked and laugh our asses off.

Stayed to watch Highlander 2 because I wasn't the one with the car that evening.

Walked out of Jurassic Park 2, but that was due to intestional difficulties.

Not sure if I've walked out of anything else. After all, my people aren't know for being wasteful with money.

I made the mistake of taking a first date to see Platoon. We walked out after 20 minutes, and she never returned my calls.

My wife and I sat through 20 minutes (which seems to be my breaking point) of Napoleon Dynamite. What a pointless piece of crap.

Under the Cherry Moon. Awful. Horrible. It was a dollar matinee, so we sucked it up, but damn it was awful.

Jersey Girl - even Gigli was more tolerable.

Troy. Borefest.

I've walked out of two movies: Robin Hood: Men in Tights and Tailor of Panama. The latter was just incredibly boring and it was at a budget theater, so no big deal; the former was to this day the unfunniest "comedy" I've paid to watch, in the theater or at home.

Drew: saw Troy last night. Yeah: bleh.

Troy was very slow in the beginning, but got a little better as it went on. Still, it was a 3 hour movie that could have been done in one and a half.

I can't remember if I walked out of Natural Born Killers when it was in the theatre, but I know I wanted to. (And I even like pulp film.)

The only movie I ever walked out on was "Police Academy III".

Contact. That movie sucked. I sat through it once with a woman because I thought there was a blowjob waiting for me on the other end. That was discovered to be untrue, so I have hated it all the more since then. Damn you! DAMN YOU!

"The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover"

I have no problem with the subject matter, and I concede that the color palette was gorgeous. But I simply could not abide this movie. It bored me beyond belief, when I wasn't astounded by its pretentiousness.

Oh, and I really didn't like it.

Two things from Troy that I never, NEVER want to see anyone do ever again in a movie:

1. Evil man threatens to visit unspeakable degradation on innocent woman. Evil man laughs (evilly) and draws near woman. Woman gets a slap in at evil man. Evil man's head rocks back from slap, he stops laughing, and he says to himself "The wench hit me! How DARE she?!". His eyes widen in anger, and he backhands her. She is then saved from degradation somehow.

2. Swordfighter slashes unnamed drone during fight. Unnamed drone is spun around by the blow to face directly toward the camera. Drone's eyes roll back in their head, a bit of blood flies up, and they slump offscreen, perhaps after a slight pause.

NEVER. EVER. AGAIN.

Final Fantasy. (Recommended by a friend who I no longer listen to for movie recommendations.) Titus Andronicus with Anthony Hopkins. There are others I can't remember right now, but I have no problem leaving a movie in the middle if it's bad.

Dork: I LOVED Titus!
Mike: Agreed about Blair Witch
Marblehead: Loved Once Upon a Time in Mexico.

To each his own.

The Royal Tenenbaums. That movie sucked ass. It was pointless, the characters were ulikable, and oh there was creepy the pseudo-incest plotline. Why is Owen Wilson famous? He's sucked in just about everything I've seen him in.

I used to have a group of friends who would all take off work to see a friday afternoon movie. We worked in state government, so we had the time. This led to some good movies and one really really bad one.

We went to see "Dude, where's my car". After ten minutes I got up and announced in a loud voice that this movies sucked and i would be in the bar across the street. Everyone had joined me by my second drink.

The only movie I've walked out of was Dune. I still don't understand why that became a "cult classic".

Daredevil. I know, I should have known that a comic book movie starring the Baffleck would leave much to be desired. But I stuck with it, because there was about 30 minutes in there that was really good (and I was down with Jen Garner). However, at the end, when DD breaks the knees of John Coffey (or whatever his character's name is) but doesn't finish him off, giving the locked-jaw "Justice is served" line, I had reached my limit. I had been talked down to enough. (I had nearly walked earlier, during the insipid "Bullseye" line.)

I'm told there was a final scene or two before the credits, but I haven't cared enough to suffer through it again.

(Leaving so late in the game may not count, but there's my story.)

Se7en. I got to the part with the knife-cock and then almost lost my lunch.

Walked out and have never finished it since despite all the wonderful reviews everybody gave me of it. And I like good scary movies. I just don't like disturbance on a certain level.

Walked out of both The Russia House and Billy Bathgate. Didn't even want to TRY and get through either of them.

Saw Harry Potter on DVD and thought that was a supreme waste of my time. Got on my Dad's case for making me watch it with him!

I walked out of an advanced preview of Bowling for Columbine during the sequence that showed footage of 9/11. To this day, I still don't understand why this footage had to be inserted in a movie about gun control. It was a sick exploitive manipulation of the audience and was sequenced in such a way as to blame Bush and America for the attack.

Walked out of "Quest for Fire" - despite the charms of Rae Dawn Chong, I had read 'The Naked Ape'. After 45 minutes I wanted to punch out Desmond Morris. So I left before I had the urge to track him down.

The other movie I didn't finish was Stallone's film Cobra. fter 30 minutes I was all set to walk out when fate intervened. The movie was stopped, the lights came up, a police officer appeared, and had us evacuate the theater.

Bomb threat.

I got up and walked out while everybody else stayed seated, grumbling and asking for the movie to be restarted. I caught that evening's news; turned out there was an actual bomb. :|

A shoebox filled with gunpowder, nails, a battery and an alarm clock was found in the theater and disarmed. :|

As reported, the bomber had miswired the thing so it failed to detonate. :|

This was back in 1986 timeframe in Philadelphia at a downtown theater but I forget which one.

But I never did finish watching 'Cobra'

I walked out of "Mommie Dearest". The daughter had some nerve making that movie. The son should have made it instead (Crawford apparently really abused him severely), but apparently he had better things to do with his life than make some stupid revenge movie.

The only movie I've ever walked out of was "I spy" with Eddie Murphy and Owen Wilson. And? I asked for my money back and got it back.

That movie actually gave me Movie Rage. I hated it SO MUCH.

I tried watching Russian Ark, because of it being one continuous shot. I couldn't do it.

I'm a cheapskate, so I've sat through some bad, bad stuff.

I did leave on:

Titan AE
Final Fantasy
Intolerable Cruelty

Walked out of Time Bandits. Lived to regret it.

Titanic (I will watch the sinking part, though)
The Sound of Music
It's A Wonderful Life

The three of those send me screaming for the remote.

Has there EVER been a more binary, either love it or hate it movie than Napolean Dynamite ? (I'm on the love side).

The only movie I've ever walked out on was "Bridges of Madison County". If the husband had been a wife-abuser, the adultry wouldn't have bothered me at all. But the husband's only sin was that he was BORING . Get a vibrator, Meryl.

My brother rolled out of Million Dollar Baby. He said it was an insult to his intelligence that a super-tough, brave woman would become such a coward after she became paralyzed. It made no sense.

Seven. Or Se7en. Whatever you call it, I'm still pissed about having dropped eight bucks on it. Scary movies can be good. But that piece of crap was just disturbing for the sake of being disturbing.

High Fidelity. Everyone I know had orgasms over this movie. I thought it had great potential, but it was totally squandered and ultimately so disappointing. The whole "whiny jerk" thing isn't cute, even when John Cusack does it. And I'm sorry, but Jack Black has never been funny for a moment in his life.

Anchorman was hugely disappointing, too. Great talent, but a lackluster script and just too much reaching for laughs.

Brain Candy was not nearly as good as most Kids in the Hall episodes.

American Beauty is the most overrated piece of shit that I've ever seen!!

Carry on.

I have only walked out of one movie: The Vanishing. Keifer Sutherland and a Bridges.

I once asked someone who'd seen it how it ended, and was glad I didn't waste the rest of my evening on it.

Have never walked out of a movie, but two made me wish I had left:
Wing Commander
Highlander 3

Dune, eh? I love that movie, and I've never enjoyed the book. Also liked the miniseries on the SF channel.

"Serving Sara" starring Matthew Perry and Elizabeth Hurley.

Ugh.

I've now come to the conclusion that the previews dictate the qualtiy of movie you are about to enjoy. I wish I'd known then.

Stacella, couldn't agree with you more regarding Jack Black. I rate him up there with Pauly Shore and Carrot Top.

Napoleon Dynamite
Young Frankenstein

re: Jack Black -

his funniest cinematic moment is in 'The Jackal' about 20 seconds after Jack's character says 'spawl'.

Not funny 'ha-ha', but funny 'thank god' sort of scene.

I was keeping a list of movies in which whiny actors I don't like get themselves kilt, dead early in a movie.

The list consisted of 'Paul Reiser in Aliens' types of moments. Scenes where the door opens and the theater erupts in cheers at the mere prospect of the acid-blooded creature from hell getting ker-chomped by the Alien.

Jack Black getting spawled in 'The Jackal' would be another 'thank god he's dead' one.

Steven Seagall in "Executive Decision" sort of makes the list - his death was more 'heroic' than I'd prefer for the list, but Steven got kilt, dead, early in that one as well.

There were a few others, but they escape me at the moment.

sorry for the threadjack.

carry on.

I sat through Battlefield Earth...

I actually sat through the whole thing. I am surprised it actually got 2.4 stars on IMDB. There is only one written review for it (excerpt)

"After returning the video I asked the clerk that even when I'm very drunk to stop me from renting this movie ever again"

"Have you ever walked out of a movie?"

Anchorman. Not only not funny, but aggressively stupid, and not in a good way.

"Ever sit through a really horrible movie just waiting for it to get better but it never did?"

Joe Versus The Volcano. There's one - one - funny line near the end, but I've never re-watched, so I don't remember what it was.

"Ever watch a movie that everyone in the universe said was super amazing and you just loathed it and felt like you're the only one who didn't get it?"

Being John Malkovich.

"Dude, maybe you just didn't, uh, get it?

No. I got it, I just didn't like it. Dude.

"Boondock Saints"
"Napoleon Dynamite"

I bought both of those after seeing them praised on the net. Both sit in a drawer, unworthy of participation in my dvd collection. My AOL discs go in that same drawer. I think I'd rather install AOL than watch one of those movies again.

The Talented Mr. Ripley. I cry for the hours we wasted watching that piece of crap.

"Blazing Saddles"

Congo

Loved the book. The movie was... disappointing (though I didn't walk out)

Have you ever walked out of a movie?

Walked out of the sci-fi movie 'Hardware' which was the worst piece of crap I have ever laid eyes on.

The first and only movie I have ever walked out of.

I remember almost walking out of 'Throw Momma From The Train' but then when I saw it again a few years later on video I laughed my ass off.

I love Mel Brooks, and Star Wars.

But I loathe Space Balls.

(and how could someone possibly list Blazing Saddles?)

I only sat through The Thin Red Line because I thought my boyfriend-at-the-time was enjoying it. Turns out he only sat through it because he thought I was enjoying it. We had both wanted to walk out, but didn't out of respect for the other. It was funny though-- the theater was nearly full when we got there, and we had to sit in the front row. When the lights went up and we turned around, the theater was nearly empty--almost everyone had walked out.

First of all, I LOVE Jennifer Connelly..even though Dark Water pretty much sucked (as did The Hulk-coinsidence?).

I too have never walked out of a movie, nor asked for my money back..but here are a few stinkers:

Good Will Hunting.Hated it! Over-rated peice of crap! Fuck you Robin Williams!

Bewitched. Wife wanted to see it. I hate Will Ferrell. He is NOT funny.

Anything with Adam Sandler for the same reasons above.

Royal Tannenbaums. What was the point to this peice o' crap? How does Ben Stiller get work?

House of 1000 Corpses. I dig Rob Zombie, I like his music. I also love horror films. This was such a horrible movie that I cannot find the proper words to explain it. I'm pleased to report that a sequel will be out soon.

Highlander 2. I never liked the original Highlander- I hate Christopher Lambert. The only good thing in this movie was Virginia Madsen.

Wrong Turn. Another horrible horror film. Really don't remember why we saw it.

I could go on all day, so I better stop now.

Well, Forrest Gump is a given, and I'll still walk out of any house where It's a Wonderful Life is playing, but I digress...

Sideways.

Party Monster.

Ethan Hawke's Hamlet

No Way Out

Meet Joe Black
The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (Jim Carrey edition)

Couldn't walk out of either of them and I'm still bitter about it.

The Bedroom Window

Two words: Steve Guttenberg

Didn't walk out, but I did guffaw at numerous supposedly dramatic points in the movie, along with many other members of the audience (some of whom did walk out). I'm very fond of Curtis Hanson's later work, but this is one awful piece of celluloid.

My faith in humanity is restored. I thought I was the only person on earth who hated Forrest Gump.

Did I ever walk out of a movie? Not that I can recall, not one I'd paid to see, anyway. I worked for a theatre a few summers running and got to see films for free, so...

Worst film I've seen...recently? Most of Hitchhiker's sucked, but the ones I really hated (which everyone else seems to cream their panties over) is the Lord of the Rings.

Hate, hate, hate Peter Jackson for those films. I had such high hopes, but all we got was more Hollywood tripe. So sad.