news items i really wish were satire, volume 1
'Brainstorming', the buzzword used by executives to generate ideas among their staff, has been deemed politically incorrect by civil servants because it is thought to be offensive to people with brain disorders.Instead staff at the Department of Enterprise, Trade and Investment (DETI) in Belfast will use the term 'thought-showers' when they get together to think creatively. A spokeswoman said: 'The DETI does not use the term brainstorming on its training courses on the grounds that it may be deemed pejorative.'
Sources inside the department said there was concern that the term would cause offence to people with epilepsy as well those with brain tumours or brain injuries.
Maybe "thought showers" is offensive to people who don't take showers. Maybe it's just offensive to people who aren't over-the-top politically correct jackasses. Seriously. How far can this be taken? Eventually everything will be deemed offensive to someone. We'll all be turned into mimes.
I'm practicing my offensive gestures just in case.
Comments
I'm offended by mimes.
Posted by: Solonor | June 28, 2005 11:33 AM
how in the fuck is that offensive? it's not like we call people with brain disorders "Brainstorming." it's not like when someone goes crazy, they had a "Brain Storm."
manila is a banned word too? ok, fuckers, what's the Capitol of the Philippines? gosh, we can't say! dumbfucks.
they're just being nit-picky. HA! i said that too! take me away!
Posted by: mikey | June 28, 2005 11:37 AM
Worse yet is when some exec declares a thought shower session as "golden, simply golden."
Posted by: Shawn | June 28, 2005 11:41 AM
Dang it, Shawn, you beat me to it. I still see "Golden showers" instead of "thought showers."
Posted by: DragonLady | June 28, 2005 11:45 AM
How offensive to people who don't think!
Enterprise, Trade and Investment are all offensive terms to me. The DETI also offends me because their name sounds like they are calling themselves 'the diety'.
'harrumph'
Posted by: SharonO | June 28, 2005 11:47 AM
Damn, Solonor beat me to it.
Posted by: J.A.S.O.N. | June 28, 2005 12:49 PM
I'm offended by your being offended by mimes.
Posted by: owlish | June 28, 2005 01:01 PM
Quick - let's have a brainstorming session with crippled midget stewardesses to come up with some new, inoffensive words to describe the retarded.
Come and get me, thought police.
Posted by: Slartibartfast | June 28, 2005 01:04 PM
Instead staff at the Department of Enterprise, Trade and Investment (DETI) in Belfast will use the term 'thought-showers' when they get together to think creatively.
Be honest, how often is this event likely to happen?
Posted by: BumperStickerist | June 28, 2005 01:10 PM
I can assure all of you that as an epileptic I am not offended by either the term or practice of "brainstorming", and that I am more than offended at the notion that I would be. I frequently participate in "brainstorming" sessions, use them in my work, and in my hobbies. Badly done brainstorming -- wherein people critize ideas rather than creating them -- deserves to be critized, but renaming it accomplishes nothing but confusion.
Posted by: htom | June 28, 2005 01:19 PM
At least "brain fart" has stayed beneath the radar...for now.
Posted by: Hubris | June 28, 2005 01:22 PM
At least "brain fart" has stayed beneath the radar...for now.
Well, that would only be offensive to those who don't fart, but it doesn't matter because they explode into millions of fleshy pieces by age 3.
Posted by: andy | June 28, 2005 01:38 PM
I heard about an incident at a college where a departmental memo was returned to the writer with red lines marking the word "individual." The redliner was offended by the use of that word to imply that individual people had rights rather than "underrepresented" groups.
Posted by: John | June 28, 2005 02:10 PM
just call them Pow-wows instead!
Oh, wait...
Posted by: Mark | June 28, 2005 02:29 PM
Andy, you are being such an ableist.
Posted by: Hubris | June 28, 2005 02:36 PM
Now, now, settle down, people. Look at the dateline: "Belfast."
They're fake Irish, Limey loving weenies who couldn't get a post at Trinity College and the Euro bueros in Brussels gave the brushoff. Really, a think tankish joint in Belfast?
Obvious Tory poncers.
Posted by: TC@LeatherPenguin | June 28, 2005 02:53 PM
I'm thinking about naming my new band
'the Tards'
or
'the Speds'
Posted by: lucia | June 28, 2005 03:21 PM
If you haven't already figured out I am handicapped and I still turn red over the attempt in the 80's to use Physically Challenged.
Why the f*** don't "politically correct" people ask the ones they are valuing the difference of what they think? Or maybe in this case the target individuals aren't smart enough to know they should be offened.
/take ramp down off soap box
Posted by: JimK (No Relation) | June 28, 2005 03:27 PM
Civilservitarding (v)
Facilitating the false appearance of idea creation in order to justify inessential government jobs.
Posted by: Midgard | June 28, 2005 03:40 PM
Thanks, Andy. That officially made my day.
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | June 28, 2005 03:52 PM
As a "civil servant" (twelve years with the DMV thank you very much) I am offended by the phrase "civil servant". The word "servant" somehow implies that I am lower than anyone who can afford the $32.50 to buy a tag and that I must kow-tow to that person. It sounds like a nice way of saying "slave". I am also offended by the word "civil" which implies that I must be polite.
Posted by: L' Shontelle | June 28, 2005 04:12 PM
/take ramp down off soap box
JimK, that was the quote of the day.
Posted by: Hubris | June 28, 2005 04:15 PM
Isn't a "thought-shower" what happens when you pee into the wind thinking that this might be a good idea.
Posted by: Pat Patterson | June 28, 2005 05:04 PM
No, that's regression analysis.
Posted by: Shawn | June 28, 2005 05:15 PM
They're Irish, so I'm assuming they were probably very, very drunk.
Posted by: Witless chum | June 28, 2005 05:38 PM
"Well, that would only be offensive to those who don't fart, but it doesn't matter because they explode into millions of fleshy pieces by age 3."
Whew. At least I know my 1 1/2 year old will not explode. At least into pieces. His diaper on the other hand...
Posted by: Chrees | June 28, 2005 06:57 PM
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Posted by: Paul | June 28, 2005 07:38 PM
"Thought-showers"
Wouldn't that be offensive to the French?
Posted by: Ernie G | June 28, 2005 09:06 PM
Hubris: At least "brain fart" has stayed beneath the radar...for now.
I'm not offended by the term "brain fart", but I do prefer the scientific term:
"Flatulepsy"
Oh, and speaking as an epileptic, I'm still using the term "brainstorm".
Posted by: ScottC | June 28, 2005 11:50 PM
"Brainstorming" could only possibly offend retards, and I'm not talking about the mentally handicapped.
What a weird world I live in.
Posted by: Beck | June 29, 2005 05:10 AM
Wow...just, wow.
I didn't think ANYTHING could get that dumb. Any chance this is a joke?
If not:
If I were in some kind of a planning session, and someone suggested using a "thought-shower" rather than a "brainstorm," I'd get up and walk out. Because I would be offended at the mealymouthization of the English language in some kind of misplaced, paternalistic attempt to look "diverse" or "caring" of "different" people.
Like several people said: why not ASK people who have the disability what they think, rather than the group just doing what they think will be a way of "protecting" them from offense.
In my mind that seems way more offensive - to assume that someone with epilepsy is sooooooooooo sensitive that he or she will think the term "brainstorm" somehow applies to him or her having a seizure. I mean, that's just seriously stupid.
Posted by: ricki | June 29, 2005 08:52 AM
I think Tory Poncers is a great name for a band.
I also think that someone got 'hold of a very bad batch of Guiness, because that's just stupid.
Posted by: Garrett | June 29, 2005 01:41 PM