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Open Mic Night/Hubris

[To particpate in open mic night, go here]

My mother revealed to me that she was a lesbian when I was eleven years old.

That was kinda weird. It was done during a quiet conversation conducted on a boulder overlooking a pond, which made the conversation seem cliched even during the apex of the emotional impact [Mommy, you're shocking me--and you're making me feel like the lead in a bad afterschool special--the double whammy].

Unsurprisingly, this conversation followed a lengthy period of, uh, intense conversations between my still-married parents, all of which bloomed from some mysterious seed of conflict that had remained hidden from me until that moment of disclosure.

I know what you're probably thinking--who cares who your mother was sleeping with? That's a valid statement; it wasn't the nature of the long-held secret so much as the extent of the long-held secret. It wasn't that it was a bad thing, it was that it was a big thing that was a secret, fundamental part of her. I would say that the long-term implication was not the creation of any hostility issues with respect to sexuality or gender, just the submerged fear that no matter how much I think I know someone, I might not know them at all. There is always the chance that they are going to rip off their Mission Impossible mask with a "ha HA!" and simply surprise the shit out of me.

Other than that, I am completely psychologically healthy, natch. And there's your Open Mic therapy session of the evening.

Anyway, the important lesson of the story is: If you want to tell your kid something important, don't focus on choosing proper aesthetics for the setting. Otherwise, it just seems a little forced.

Did anyone else ever have an awkward hand-on-the-shoulder-well-I've-got-some-news-for-you-Jimmy talk?


I'm saving mine for my book. But thanks for sharing yours.

"completely psychologically healthy"