(Blogger) Match Game '05!
Every Friday (or most Fridays) I play a blog version of Match Game over at Mikey's. This week, I'm giving Mikey a little break and I'll be hosting the game here. I have a stellar panel all lined up and their answers are already tucked away in a secret location, guarded by two pit bulls and a Gary Coleman.
For you youngsters who may be unfamiliar with how the game works, Match Game was a tv game show that aired (the best version, anyhow) back in the 70's. There was a panel of six celebrities that were given a fill-in-the-blank sentence, and their job was to try to match what the contestants put in the blank. It was a very simple concept and sounds a bit boring. But, when nearly all the questions had possible suggestive answers and that alcohol was served to the celebrities during taping, boredom rarely came into play. The frank sexual jokes, the constant flirting, the obviousl drunkeness of the panelists, the way they smoked right on camera, the innuendos of host Gene Rayburn - Match Game was one of the highlights of my childhood. I would rush home from school every day to make sure I was in front of that tv when the show started. And while I did get most of the jokes back then, they are so much more enjoyable - and shocking - now (in repeats on the Game Show Network). What they got away back in the day would give half this prudish nation heart attacks today.
The questions I came up with aren't that great (honestly, I found three of them in a Google search). If I had more time (read: If I remembered sooner that I promised to cover this week) they might have been better. But what really matters is what the contestants and the panel make out of the questions, right? And YOU are the contestants, so it falls on you to make something good out of this.
Let me introduce you to the panel:
Update: by popular demand, the theme song!
Ah, no. Wrong panel. Here we go:
As far as I know, none of them are washed-up, alcoholic, chain smoking, horny celebrities. Well, I can't vouch for the horny part. Or can I?
I'll put the questions up now, and your job is to fill in the blanks. If you want to be outrageous/funny/offensive as possible, go ahead, but keep in mind that the true spirit of the show is to try to match as many panelists as you can. Or at least hope the panelists didn't try to be outrageous/funny/offensive.
Ah, what the hell. Do what you want. But I will crown a winner - the person who gets the most matches - at the end of the day. There's no prize, but you get all that adulation and shit. What? Sure you do.
Are you ready for Match Game '05?
- The cave man said, "I just went to a very unusual wedding. A dinosaur ______(ed) the bride."
- Lex Luthor is so evil... (How evil is he?) He's so evil he lowers the moral standing at a ____________convention!
- Urban Legends sure have changed from when I was kid. Yesterday, I was told that Lindsay Lohan died when she mixed Pop Rocks with ______________.
- "I just had to take out the appendix of the Jolly Green Giant. It wasn't easy. I had to use ____________.
- Dick Cheney has been asked to join the SuperFriends. He will now be known as Captain__________.
There's liquor in the green room. Help yourselves, lose your inhibitions and leave your answers in the comments.
The panelist answers will be posted this afternoon.
And feel free to link. More traffic equals more funny answers for you to enjoy!