hit me baby...week 3
Why yes, thanks for asking. I will be making an attempt to live blog Hit Me Baby One More Time again.
Tonight's guests are:
Cameo (Word Up)
Howard Jones (No One is to Blame)
Irene Cara (What a Feeling)
Sophie B. Hawkins (I Wish I Was Your Lover)
Wang Chung (Everybody Wang Chung Tonight)
While I was a very big fan of Howard Jones back in the day, I'm going to have to pull for Cameo tonight. Howard's wishy-washy, blanched musical style just hasn't held up well over the years. He rarely makes an appearance on my iPod (What is Love and New Song would be the faves), Cameo's Word Up never, ever goes out of style.
Ok, Wang Chung sounded crisp and clean. But come on, how hard is it to reproduce a simplistic song like that?
I don't know this Sophie chick. Heard of her, but never heard the song she's singing tonight.
I'm sorry, but those dance moves? Is she trying to shit out a hit?
She's spastic, her voice is irritating and that twirling shirt thing was just goofy. No wonder she's a has been. And if she was really singing that I'll eat my hat. Even though I don't have a hat. I'll eat Matt Drudge's hat. But only if he washes it first. He's got cooties.
Woooohoo, it's CAMEO time!
Ok, totally not singing live, either. But I don't care.
WAVE YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE!!1!! This song will NEVER DIE. I'm back in the local bar, drinking some shitty beer and dancing on a really teeny tiny dance floor that someone just puked on. WORD UP.
Howard Jones up - this is the most cliched freaking song EVER. He's still bland. Still whiter than white. Jesus, he looks like John Lithgow.
Did Cameo say they were going to do Bowling for Soup?
Ok. So I saw Fame in the movie theater when it came out. People actually got up and danced in the aisles. My friend (a guy who always wore a scarf, no matter what the season, and Capezio dance shoes) was dancing. I said "can you please not do that?" "Do what?" "Be a freaking dork?" "Is there nothing more special in this world than a gay dork, baby?" Yea....special. So special.
Anyhow, like two weeks later I was in my room when What a Feeling came on the radio and I found myself doing this dorky dance. So special....
She still looks the same. Well, a little round in the face, but the same. And she can still shake that ass. But the song is still craptastic. And those back up singers move like droids.
CAMEO ALL THE WAY!
I feel the need to repeat this every week for those who may not have tuned into this show before - the second half generally sucks. Though it should be interesting to see Wang Chung doing Nelly. Not nearly as interesting as Tommy Tutone totally fucking over Blink 182 last week and not nearly as entertaining as Vanilla Ice doing Destiny's Child...
Wang Chung/Nelly: Ok, watching this old, balding white guy sing this song like he means is is really, really disturbing. EEEEK I feel like I'm being molested by someone's grandfather!
Sophie Hawkins: She's playing this like she's singing for a Grammy instead of some lame ass, summer scheduled reality show.
Did anyone see that chick with her tits hanging out of her shirt? No?
Cameo/Bowling for Soup: I hate, hate hatehatehatehate this song. So they better make good with it.
Aye, they're funkifying it. Nice. This is pretty nifty.
Howard Jones: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Irene Cara: This needs cowbell. This is just freaking awful.
I need to find out next week's guest. I heard that both Night Ranger and Air Supply were going to be on this show and I'd like to plan my calendar around that.
What the hell? Irene Cara?? Bah. Give it up for Cameo, people, the real winners in my heart and mind.
Update: Well, damn. Looks like Night Ranger backed out at the last minute.