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My personal history of VHS movies: Snuff films and monkey brains and porn, oh my!

Wal-Mart has joined Target, Best Buy and Circuit City in the Kill VHS campaign. By the end of this year, you will no longer be able to buy VHS movies at Wally world.

Oh, I know. Hardly anyone buys VHS tapes anymore. But that's not the point. Once again, old age and mortality get together to mock me as another part of my youth gets thrown into oblivion.

topload.GIFHome VCRs were introduced in the U.S. in the late 1970's. They were big, cumbersome, heavy and quickly became all the rage. They were also - like most new technology - deemed to be dangerous. Our old friend Jack Valenti had this to say about VCRs:

The VCR is to the American film producer and the American public as the Boston Strangler is to the woman home alone.

So his hyperbolic idiocy is nothing new, then.

Anyhow, I don't remember exactly when we got our first VCR. My father, always with the need to be on the cutting edge of technology (whether he knows how to use that technology or not is a whole other matter), came home one day with this ginormous mechanical beast that, he claimed, could play movies. It had to be about 1979 - I distinctly remember buying Slap Shot for $75.99 at the local electronics store.

Soon after the VCR became a household item, smart entrepreneurs realized that the price of movies was prohibitive to most people and perhaps they would like to borrow these movies - for a small fee. And so, the video store was born.

One of the first video stores to pop up on Long Island was the Video Vault, which operated out of Modell's department store, turning the lobby into a makeshift retail outlet. And I was there. I stumbled into the job, through a friend of a friend who knew this guy Bruce who was opening the place. Knowing that I was into the current VHS movie craze, she gave Bruce my number and a couple of days later, I was helping him set up the store.

Membership was $99 a year. For that, you got two free rentals a month - everything after those freebies was something like five dollars per night. The stock wasn't huge at first. We carried more VHS titles than Beta (and that caused quite a few arguments with customers) and more porn than regular movie titles.

At first, the movies were kept in glass counter cases. Eventually, the stock grew and Bruce put shelves on the wall (behind the counter) to display the movies. The horror section nearly equaled the porn section after a few months.

Sure, we had a healthy selection of mainstream movies; after all, we were catering to a middle-class, family oriented community. But it just seemed like Bruce was more interested in getting the seamier side of VHS movies into the store.

My co-worker Lydia and I picked out a movie to take home each night. We'd go to one of our houses and watch - or sometimes we would stay in the store after closing and view a couple of flicks. Mostly we picked out horror movies - Bruce seemed to specialize in finding the most bizarre cult films available. He was the first to bring <Faces of Death to our little piece of suburbia. He was the first to offer what he claimed to be real snuff films for rental. Yes, snuff films. There was one movie where supposedly a girl was murdered and served for Thanksgiving dinner. We watched it a dozen times at least, studying the girl's face, her screams, the movement of the killers to figure out if it was real or not. We watched I Spit on Your Grave endlessly, rewinding and pausing key scenes. We carried dozens of slasher movies (how I wish I could remember the titles now) and often stayed up late at night - throngs of our friends would show up for the screenings - filling up on gore and beer.

I had already been a connoisseur of horror movies when I began working at Video Vault; giving me access to all these bloody, scary movies was like giving a junkie free crack. And if those movies were my crack, then the discovery of porn was my pure cocaine.

At first we didn't touch the porn movies except to rent them out to greendoor.jpgmiddle-class husbands who came in the store with their heads bowed, hands in pocket, whispering titles into our ears as if we weren't going to run home and tell our parents that the Little League coach was into bondage. We giggled a lot, made some rude jokes and then, inevitably, became curious.

We started with Debbie Does Dallas because it was the most familiar title. Lydia snuck it out of the store - we didn't want Bruce to think we were pervs because he was a perv and we didn't want to give him any perverted ideas about perverts being pervy together - and took it back to Lydia's house, whose parents were away on vacation.

I fell asleep 30 minutes in. Lydia was so bored, she read over her Literature of Western Civ notes instead. This was porn? Bad acting, horrible dialogue and totally unbelievable, corny sex scenes. Booooring. We figured that if people kept coming in for the porn titles, risking their reputations as pillars of the community, there had to be more to it. So we made careful notes of what the most popular porn titles were.

The next Friday we took home Behind the Green Door, starring Marilyn Chambers. The night after that, we watched Insatiable, also starring the lovely Marilyn. We discovered that porn is not teasing, jiggly cheerleaders. No, we found the good stuff. The next weekend I stuffed a copy of Bad Girls into my bag and headed over to my boyfriend's house. Lydia did the same. Bruce had unwittingly introduced us to worlds we didn't know existed. Working at Video Vault had been quite an education.

Eventually I watched every single movie in the store and I found a job elsewhere (not because I ran out of titles, but because I needed more money and Bruce was more stingy than he was pervy). More and more video stores were opening, anyhow and I feared that Video Vault would go the way of the Betamax soon. Our membership numbers were sagging. Business was so slow that I spent most of my days in the Modell's lobby playing Zaxxon and cursing Dirk of Dragon's Lair. Bruce refused to lower his prices, even though Lydia and I tried to knock some business sense into him, and he lost half his clients to stores that were now offering memberships for free. I fled the sinking ship.

Bruce was smarter than we gave him credit for, however. He knew what he was doing. A year later, Bruce had dumped all the movies and bought into the Super Mario craze. Video Vault had become a video game store and I was right there, standing in line for an NES as soon as they were available. As I handed my old boss the cash for the console, I realized that Bruce was my dealer and Video Vault was my crack den. The double addiction of horror and porn had given way to the pure heroin-like abuse of video games and Bruce was my supplier for all of them.

If I could remember his last name, I'd look him up and see what kind of technological crack he's dealing out now.

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Comments

I remember old-school video stores. Not quite THAT old-school, but we got our first VCR in 1983 or 1984 -- the first thing we taped, just to test it, was an episode of Fraggle Rock from HBO -- and shortly thereafter we got a membership to (coincidentally) Michelle's Video.

I don't remember a lot of movies we rented for my sister and me, but I do remember looking at some of the titles, looking for anything slightly tittillating. 2069: A Sex Odyssey was in the comedy section, which was along the main promenade of the store between the entrance and the counter. Porky's was there too. I was soooooooo excited to be reading all these R-rated movie boxes.

As for the porn section? I got myself in there once before I realized what it was. One of the clerks caught me, realized I was too young to realize what I was seeing, and escorted me out, then asked me never to go in there again. I didn't, because I was (unfortunately) a good kid. No matter how hard I tried to be a not-good kid, it never worked.

Michelle's Video closed in the early 90s with the advent of Blockbuster.

I remember exactly when we got our first VCR. 1980, and my technology-adverse father (he opposes anything with an electrical cord on principle, or so he says) bought a Betamax so my sister would have something to do while she recovered from mono. My movie obsession is the direct result of George Lucas and my sister Kris.

The first video store we belonged to didn't charge a annual fee, but the process was cumbersome. No videos were on display. You walked up to the counter and browsed through a big binder with lists of titles. You picked one and then told the number assigned to the title to the bored teenage clerk. It wasn't as bad as the music cassette purchasing system used by another store at the time - all the tapes were behind a glass wall in cases. When you found what you wanted, you reached through this hole big enough for a hand but too small for a tape, grabbed the tape and dropped it on this little conveyer belt, whereupon it would be transported to the register. When you asked for your tape, the clerks would harrass you for your lack of hipness.

We not only had a VCR earlier on, but my dad started a video-taping business (weddings, parties, etc). We've got tapes that date to 1978. The first video camera my dad had was a beast, and had to be hooked into a separate VCR, which you had to carry around with you as you taped (and as I recall, the VCR itself had two components). Lighting was provided by super bright stagelights.

We were lucky in that my mom's cousin later opened a video store, so we got all our movies for free.

Heh, we had a VCR just like the one pictured (except ours had a wood grain finish on the front panel). It was a good, faithful part of the family entertainment center, but we eventually had to replace it. Not because it was broken, but because it would turn itself on and start doing weird things. I was convinced it was possessed.

Michelle,

That wasn't the Modell's in Centereach, was it? I seem to remember playing Dragon's Lair around there.

It was the one in East Meadow - they were probably all (I think there were three?) set up the same way. I remember there being a Tron game, too.

We bought our first VCR in 1984 - before that, you could not only rent movies, you rent a VCR as well if you didn't own one, and we did that a couple of times to check out this new trend. At that time, we lived out in the country, and there was no cable service there; home satellite systems were far too costly and the dishes were as big as a VW Bug.

So having a VCR was a godsend, since we only got about 5 channels with our antenna reception, and not all of those clearly, either. Seems to me that we paid a prohibitive price for that VCR - it was a Fisher, top of the line and I think it cost over $500. It still worked well and the recording quality was excellent up until about 10 years ago when the rewind function died...that's when I learned to buy a separate rewinder even when I bought a new machine.

Michelle, you do know that you can get Dragon's Lair on DVD now, don't you? It's the original animation and gameplay, and no need for a Playstation or XBox, you just play in on a regular DVD player, using the direction buttons to control old Dirk. You can also just watch the whole thing from beginning to end without playing the game (I always wanted to do that).

Pretty cheap on Half or Ebay, too. Just wait until you get to the "black knight" screen. It'll revive levels of frustration you haven't felt in 20 years (at least it doesn't cost another 50 cents every time you die).

I never knew what a bimbo Princess Daphne was until I bought that disc...

Ahhh, yes...Behind the Green Door. A porn classic!

First watched that one when I found a bootleg copy at my brother in law's house while housesitting.

Damn near went blind...

I just wanna know the title of the movie where the gal was killed and served for Thanksgiving dinner. :)

I wonder if IMDB or Google will find anything from that title.

Weren't there early lame attempts at synergy between video games and porn during this period? I think I remember watching a Donahue episode as a kid where he was warning about a penis/vagina Pac-Man-esque game, and another one where the character way trying to shoot jizz into moving targets' mouths (I probably remember this because at the age of 9 or 10, I was wondering where I could get access to such games).

I can attest to Trish's experience; in 1982 my parents rented a VCR so we could watch Superman (or maybe Superman II) on my birthday.

I am wracking my brain trying to remember when we actually bought a VCR - 1985? 1986? I do remember the movies we kept watching on it - mostly PG-13 slob comedies that we were too ashamed to ask Mom to buy but that we couldn't buy ourselves. Stuff like "The Golden Child" (i say i-i-i-i i want the knife), "Revenge of the Nerds" (*urrp*), "Real Genius" (it's a penis-stretcher. wanna try it?), "Weird Science" (i'd hate to lose my teaching job), "Spies Like Us" (doctor, doctor; doctor, doctor).

Heh. I bought my first VCR in 2000 and my first DVD player in 2003. Just call me Mr. Early Adopter.

I also remember that the VCR had a copy of "The Car" in it... what a trip - James Brolin and a possessed car. It was awesome at age 10.

cool