« listomatic: loud cheese | Main | n-o-s-m-o-k-i-n-g noooooooo smoking* »

Listomatic: Make your own list (movie quote edition)

Because so many of you just had to disagree with me on Airplane! being the most often quoted movie, I offer you this space to say what YOUR most quoted movie is, and your favorite line.

I'll get to mine later.

Update: I obviously didn't have time to do mine. But that's ok, because I'll save them for a quiz tomorrow.

Comments

The Godfather

Army of Darkness

You people suck at directions.

and your favorite line.

Holy Grail

"He's repressing me" is tossed around our office with great frequency, along with "moistened bink".

The Princess Bride

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

or

Let me esplain. No, there is no time. Let me sum up.

"This steak still has marks where the jockey was hitting it"

Caddyshack

Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

"Good idea, Lord." "Of course it's a good idea!"

9 1/2 Ninjas

The best offense is a good offense.

It would probably be a tie between Pirates of the Caribbean and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Most often quoted: some variation of "But why is the rum gone? or "That's what I call ironic" and from Grail, "It is a silly place" or some part of the "she's a witch" bit.

Animal House (not my ABSOLUTE favorite but the others were takes):

"Face it Flounder, you f***ed up! You trusted us!"

Er, I meant "that the other were taken". Typos are gonna put me on double-secret probation.

Buckaroo Banzai Adventures Across the 8th dimension:

"Laugh-a while you can-a monkey-boy!"

Raising Arizona

You know I've been wondering about the origin of the phrase "wait for it..." or if it even has an origin.

Ghostbusters.

"That would've worked if you hadn't stopped me".

Favorite line? From Army of Darkness? I can quote the movie at length. Asking me to pick a favorite would be like asking me which child of mine I should sell on the slave labor market...except that I don't have kids, so it's purely hypothetical.

So nyah. ;)

At my house, all Christopher Guest movies are on constant quote rotation. We irritate the living shit out of the kids with it.

"This one goes to eleven."

"It's like we have one brain that we share between us!"

"You know why? Because you're bastard people, that's why. I'm going to go home, and...and...bite my pillow!"

"Boy! He went for her like she was made out of ham!"

I got a million of 'em. But I'll spare you.

oy vey, this one's a toughie.

probably holy grail, but it's hard to choose just one line. we do the "help, help, i'm being repressed!" "come see the violence inherent in the system!" "i fart in your general direction" "you're a looney"

i personally probably use the old man & the cart bit the most.

"i'm not dead yet! ... i think i'll go for a walk. ... i feel happy!"

damn. now i'm going to have to go home & watch it tonight.

others quoted in our house a lot:
princess bride
moonstruck
dracula, dead & loving it
so i married an axe murderer
army of darkness
excalibur

okay, i'll stop now. sorry.

Young Frankenstein

"What knockers!"
"Why thank you."

Also -

Singing, as the camera pans up from Madeline Kahn - "Oh sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you."

The Princess Bride.

"You've just made one of the classic blunders. The most famous is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia.' But only slightly less well know is this: never go against a Sicilian when Death is on the line!"

Gotta go with Python. Too many quoted lines to even list, but the Frenchmen, the Knights of Ni and the Black Knight are the source of most of them.

Princess Bride, any # of which cited above, plus "Inconceivable!" and "Anyone want a peanut?" Godfather: "You're not a wartime consigliere" and of course "make him an offer he can't refuse." A Few Good Men: "You can't handle the truth!"

Kentucky Fried Movie, hands down:

"And that's what's going on in Japan with those, uh.. those Japanese."

"Take him to Detroit."

"...this is an event of extwadoinawy magnituuuude... now once more with feeeewing."

I also have to throw in honorable mentions for Raising Arizona ("Has he had his dip-tet?"), Fargo ("I got fuckin' shot in the face!"), and most recently Sideways ("Here's your damn wallet!").

I'd have to go with Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels, favorite line is probably "I think knives are a good idea. Big, f%*&-off shiny ones." or simply "Big, f%*&-off shiny ones."

Although my all time most quoted line , since I was about 10, is "Wolfman's got nards!" from The Monster Squad

Spinal Tap ... still funny 20+ years later. I'm not sure if it's funnier or more quoted than Airplane, but I'd say it gets a nomination:

- It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever.

- He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

- Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump".

- Making a big thing out of it would have been a good idea.

- You can't really dust for vomit.

- Well, I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation.

- None more black.

- They were still booing him when we came on stage.

- You don't do heavy metal in Dubly, you know.

- Eleven. Exactly. One louder.

- The review for "Shark Sandwich" was merely a two word review which simply read "Shit Sandwich".

-Marty DiBergi: "This tasteless cover is a good indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry."
-Nigel Tufnel: That's just nitpicking, isn't it?

- David St. Hubbins: He died in a bizarre gardening accident...
- Nigel Tufnel: Authorities said... best leave it... unsolved.

- We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening.

- But you're not as confused as him are you. I mean, it's not your job to be as confused as Nigel.

- It's such an interesting concept, mixing mime and food.

et. al.

Holy Grail

"Message for you, sir." or "Blue. No, YELLOW! AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!" (or anything from the bridge scene, really)

Arthur

"If I should feel the urge to dribble, I can always call for the nurse." or "Perhaps you'd like me to wash your d**k for you... you little s**t." (actually, anything from John Gielgud in that movie is classic).

Life of Brian: "Piss off Fuckers, he's not the Messiah"

Strange Brew: "Take Off, you hosers"

The Meaning of Life: "I'm not dead yet"

Holy Grail: "She turned me into newt"

Dude, Where's my Car?: "And then...."

American Pie: "This one time, at band camp"

And then?

And then?

And then?

And then?

And then?

ARTHUR
Hobson: "Normally someone would have to go to a bowling alley to meet someone of your stature."
----
Susan: "A real woman could stop you from drinking."
Arthur: "It'd have to be a real BIG woman."

THE PRINCESS BRIDE
The man in black: "I do not envy you the headache you will have when you wake, but for now, rest well, and dream of large women."
Miracle Max: "Bye boys, have fun storming the castle."

MONTY PYTHON...GRAIL
French Soldier: "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

Harold and Kumar go to White Castle

"It's semen."

And then?

Major League

"Fuck you, Jobu, I do it myself."

Caddy Shack: "You'll get nothing and like it!"

Animal House: "No fun of any kind!"

TBL: "Phone's ringin' Dude."

and then?

I'd have to say usually The Big Lebowski, although I've been getting a lot of mileage out of "There was a nice way to say that!" from Sideways.

Princess Bride.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

To this day, Mandy Patinkin cannot escape the line, to his everlasting frustration.

and then?

Holy Grail:

"She turned me into a newt!"

"A newt?"

"...I got better."

Buckaroo Bonzai

"No matter where ya go, there ya are."

Casablanca

Ilsa:Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake.
Sam: [lying] I don't know what you mean, Miss Elsa.
Ilsa: Play it, Sam. Play "As Time Goes By."
....
Rick:You know what I want to hear.
Sam: [lying] No, I don't.
Rick: You played it for her, you can play it for me!
Sam: [lying] Well, I don't think I can remember...
Rick: If she can stand it, I can! Play it!

....
Captain Renault:What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed.
......
Rick:Who are you really, and what were you before? What did you do and what did you think, huh?
Ilsa: We said no questions.
Rick: ...Here's looking at you, kid.
....
Rick:How can you close me up? On what grounds?
Captain Renault: I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!
[a croupier hands Renault a pile of money]
....
Rick:Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.
.....
Renault:Major Strasser has been shot. Round up the usual suspects.
....
Ilsa:But what about us?
Rick: We'll always have Paris.
....
Rick:Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

and Then?

Another Ghostbusters fan, though so far as I'm concerned THE line is "If someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!"

Met a guy who had memorized as much of it as I had and knew instinctively how to respond to "You're a real humanitarian, you know that?". Married to him now.

and Then?

Big Lebowski for sure...

"...you are about to enter a world of pain."

"Give us the money Lebowski, we fuck you ups!"

"...This is what happens Larry when you fuck a stranger in the ass!!"

c'mon! good shit!

aNd Then?

Among my friends, Zorro the Gay Blade knows no equal. Stuff we say over and over again:

"Santa Maria! How could I have been so Deceive-ed?"

"I know, we could go shopping."

"Where is your invitation, Senor Beaver?"

"A small donation to your cause"

"Don't be silly, bears don't have ears like that!"

"I have been fighting tyrany and injustice!"

"You are a little clumsy, are you not, my friend?"
"To be your friend I would have to be more than clumsy, I would have to be stupid!"

I could just quote the whole movie. I guess you had to be there.

AND THEN?

Goodfellas - Joe Pesci -

"But, I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you?"

AND THEN?

Office Space gets quoted tons at work, but then I work at Initech:

Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been missing it, Bob.

Oh, and next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day... so, you know, if you want to you can go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

Uh oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the mondays.

After careful consideration, I'd have to go with this quote:

'whoa' ... Keanu Reeves

from, well, take your pick;

Constantine (2005) .... John Constantine
Something's Gotta Give (2003) .... Dr. Julian Mercer
The Matrix Revolutions (2003) .... Neo
version (promotional title))
(The Matrix Reloaded (2003) .... Neo
... aka The Matrix Reloaded: The IMAX Hard Ball (2001) .... Conor O'Neill
Sweet November (2001) .... Nelson Moss
The Replacements (2000) .... Shane Falco
The Matrix (1999) .... Neo
The Devil's Advocate (1997) .... Kevin Lomax
(1997) .... Harry
Chain Reaction (1996) .... Eddie Kasalivich
A Walk in the Clouds (1995) .... Paul Sutton
Johnny Mnemonic (1995) .... Johnny Mnemonic
Speed (1994) .... Officer Jack Traven
Little Buddha (1993) .... Siddhartha
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1993) .... Julian Gitche
Much Ado About Nothing (1993) .... Don John
Dracula (1992) .... Jonathan Harker
My Own Private Idaho (1991) .... Scott Favor
Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (1991) .... Ted Logan/Evil Ted
Point Break (1991) .... FBI Special Agent Johnny 'John' Utah
"
I Love You to Death (1990) .... Marlon James
Parenthood (1989) .... Tod Higgins
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989) .... Ted Logan

aND THEN?

Airplane!:

Johnny, what can you make out of this?
This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl...

Caddyshack:

Right in the lumberyard, Danny.

This is Spinal Tap:

But this goes to 11.

Billy Madison:

Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Very Bad Things:

Allow me to be the first to say that what we have done here is not a good thing. It's definitely not a good thing. But it was, given the circumstances, the smart play.

And from the most quotable movie of this millenium...

Napoleon Dynamite:

Just about anything, including, "I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to."

AND THEN?

Another from Casablanca:

How extravagant you are, Rick, throwing away women like that. Some day they may be scarce.

AND THEN?

After careful consideration, I'd have to go with this quote:

'whoa' ... Keanu Reeves

That totally made me laugh out loud.

Caddyshack

Al: Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it
...
Al:Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you though.
....
Al:You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?
...
Al: While we're young
...
Al: Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
...
Spalding:I want a hamburger... no, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake...
Judge Smails: You'll get nothing, and like it.
...
Al: Make it fair, make it fair.

Most quoted movie among me and my friends is hands down Bloodsport!
That movie has so many good lines :
"The girl is coming with me, upstairs"
"OK USA!"
"Now I break you, like I break your friend"
"Brick don't hit back"

From Things to do in Denver when you're dead :
"I'm Godzilla, and you're Japan"

You know, I was all set to go with Python. God knows I quote it almost daily.

But, is it just the refuge of the nerd?

I submit to you, that the most often quoted line of all time, is probably Harry Callahan in Sudden Impact:

"Go ahead, make my day".

Or possibly from Dirty Harry,

"Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk"?

I'll offer up that the most often misquoted line from a movie would be from Casablanca;

"Play it again, Sam".

AND THEN?

Kentucky Fried Movie:

'The popcorn you're eating has been pissed in. Film at 11'

Taxi Driver:

'you talkin to me?'

Ghostbusters:

'Yes your honor, this man has no dick'

Caddyshack:

'Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!'

North by Northwest:

'I've never met a woman that used sex like a fly swatter before'

Blues Brothers:

'Akroyd - It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of smokes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.

Belushi - Hit it.'

"We have both kinds of music here; Country AND Western.'

'I HATE Illinois nazis!'

Die Hard:

'Yippee-kiyay, motherfucker!'

ok, so they aren't all comedies....so sue me.

AND THEN!?!?!

ok, this isn't so much a quote, but how many people start the head bob when they're in the car and 'Bohemian Rhapsody' plays?

uh huh. Yeah, try and tell me you don't.

AND THEN?

NO AND THEN!!!

OK. I'm done. Thanks Shawn, I was just wondering how long it would take.

Thanks Michele!

I'm going to have to third the Big Lebowski.

"You want a toe? I can get you a toe."

" . . . and thorough."

"You mean beyond Pacifism"

"Say what you want about the tenets of Democratic Socialism, but at least it's an ethos." (not sure that one's exactly correct).

"Nice Marmot"

"That's just like your opinion Man."

"Nobody fucks with the Jesus"
"Pederast"

There are too many. It's 2:49 am on a work day, and I'm going to have to watch it right now.

My most quoted TV show is Firefly. Favorite quote - "That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth."

Tommy Boy
"That's gonna leave a mark"

and, of course, one of the most quoted of all time, and often quoted by people who never managed to watch the movie:

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"
(obviously Gone with the Wind)

Please let me make up for the first guy who said The Godfather (easily the greatest documentary ever made):

"What have I ever done for you to treat me so disrespectfully ?"

"If you have enemies, they would be my enemies"

"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse"

and one I personally love:

"Drop the gun, don't forget the cannoli".

There are millions more.

Also, anything said anywhere, anytime by Christopher Walken - quote them all, its all gold.

Holy Grail:
"What are you going to do....bleed on me?!"

and Empire Records:
"I'm guided by a force much stronger than luck."
"Look. I tried to kill myself with a Lady Bic; a pink plastic razor with daisies on the handle and a moisturizing strip. It took forever just to get through the skin."
"You can't go down and put down The Misfits, man. They had, they had like, everything it took to be a great punk band. They had good bass lines, and, and like, strong guitar chords, even though there was only three..."

Princess Bride and Holy Grail are definitely higher up than Airplane in my quoting lexicon, but I think it's actually Zoolander I quote the most:

"They're breakdance fighting!"
"That (insert name here)... he's so hot right now."

I tend to also make references to the gasoline fight and, ever since my first time watching the movie, I have ceased to pronounce "eulogy" correctly.

Fletch:
"Oh, you've remodeled the garage. Must have cost you hundreds"

"You know, if you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards."

"Ever seen a spleen that large?" .. "No, not since breakfast."

Raising Arizona:
"Okay then"

"You want to find an outlaw, hire an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin' Donuts, call a cop."

"I tried to straighten up and fly right, but it wasn't easy with that sumbitch Reagan in the White House."

"Now, what's it gonna be young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? 'Cause if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm gonna be in motion."

Rush Hour:
"This is the LAPD. We're the most hated cops in all the free world. My own mama's ashamed of me. She tells everybody I'm a drug dealer."

Lines thrown about frequently at my house:

"I want my two dollars!"
"This one goes to 11"
"I'll be baaaack."
"It's on European Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So, who gives a crap if they're Socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car."
"Bueller? Bueller?"
"It's 106 miles to Chicago,we got a full tank of gas, a half pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses."
"How much for the women? How much for the leeettle girl?"
"Oh, no. Please. Don't. (sarcasm)."
You know what they're from, I'm sure. Maybe not the last one.

Most quoted overall is Holy Grail, but that's pretty common in geekdom. I listened to The DaVinci Code on tape, and the whole time was thinking "I told them we already got one."

It's not a movie, so I'm not giving a quote, but I find myself quoting Firefly very often. (And the "I aim to misbehave" line from teh Serenity trailer comes up a lot, too.)

Most of the movies listed here find their way into my conversations from time to time... especially when I'm talking to my "baby" sister. She's ten years younger than me, and I spent way too much time looking after her, apparently. She absorbed my sense of humor.

Any time we're together and we're counting something, we invariably play out the King Arthur lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

"One... Two... Five..."
"Three, sir."
"Three."

Though Red Vs. Blue isn't, strictly speaking, a movie, we're also fond of the following exchange:

"Nobody likes you."
"I like me."

Grail, hands down:

-"If we built a lahge woooden bagah..."

-"I must stay here and face the peril!"
"No,no...too perilous..."

Anybody here remember the Brit
sitcom "The Young Ones"? They were only on the Beeb for two seasons, and when MTV first came on the air, they would air an episode on Sunday nights. The full two season CD set is now out. I used to have Beta tapes of the episodes...BETA for cryin' out loud. Just about every line in every episode is quotable.

Sorry Michele, I know this is strictly movies, but with so many Python fans, I thought I'd bring it up.

surf-actant

Dumb and Dumber...

"We're there." And, "Hey, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?"

Any and all Coen Bros. movies:

Raising Arizona: "Mind yuh don't cutcherself, Mordecaaai.

... Say 'at reminds me, how'd you get yer kid so fast? Me and Dot was tryin' to adopt on accounta somethin's wrong with my semen..."

Fargo: "Do you see something?" "Nah, just gonna barf."

"He's fleeing the interview! He's fleeing the interview."

O Brother Where Art Thou: "This puts me in a awkward position vis-a-vis my progeny!"

"I'm the got-damn pater familias!"

"Work for the railroad, do ya?"
"I work for No Man!"
"Got a name, have ya?"
"I have No Name!"

"Well I thought this wasn't a one horse town, but try to find a decent hair jelly..."

"Ever since we signed on with you we've had nothin' but trouble. We've been starved, shot at, whipped, narly hung --"
"Pete got turned into a toad."
"Pete wasn't turned into no toad."
"Well, he nearly got loved up."

Moonstruck
"He's got a brother?"
"My father needs another plate."
"Date what date? Your fiance is in Palermo!"
"Take the dessert cart away Bobo."

and whenever someone doesn't reply quickly enough,
"Son, if you can't talk just click the handset" from Platon.

I meant Platoon of course

"My scalp doesn't get enough blood sometimes."

Having read this list of most of the usual suspects, I'll cite a pair of old & recent favorites:

"Death to Videodrome! Long live the New Flesh!" - Videodrome

"I took away his weapon." Blam! "Both of them." Blam! - Sin City

Clerks-
"How many men have you gone down on?"

"MY GIRLFRIEND SUCKED 37 COCKS!"

"Don't suck any cock on your way to your car!"

"What the hell is snowballing?"