One and one and one makes three* (And a POLL!)
In twelve minutes, I'll know how many of you to cull out of the "Predict the verdict and aftermath" pool.
Can you stand the drama? This is more riveting than watching an entire nation expend all of its resources to look for a missing, beautiful, rich white girl!
You can still get a quick prediction speculation in if you ACT NOW! Operators standing by!
*If anyone gets what the title refers to, I'll kiss you. Hard.
Update: This is what we have come to as a nation, folks. The TV stations are actually showing footage of the vehicle entourage headed towards the courthouse. MJ IS 28 MILES FROM THE PARKING LOT!!!
CNN has a handy dandy child molestation scorecard for you!
They're reading the verdict now, but it's going to be anticlimatic. Nothing can beat the thrill of the car approaching the court room.
And another "where were you" moment in the annals of world history has come and gone. Years from now when they ask "where were you when Michael Jackson was found not guilty?" I'll be able to say "I was picking a wedgie out of my ass, yelling FREEE AT LAST!"
Honestly, I'm a little shocked. Not one GUILTY?
So, quickie poll:
A) Travesty of justice?
B) God has shined his light down upon the righteous and true. Bless you, Michael Jackson!
C) I saw a turtle.
D) _______________ (insert your Michael Jackson pun/joke here)
You may also commence casting the soon-to-be-made movie of the week.
Comments
Gravity Kills lyrics?
Posted by: Hubris | June 13, 2005 04:25 PM
Gravity Kills lyrics?
Specifically, Guilty.
I've kissed you hard a million times in my dreams already, Hubris. And that one time when I pretended my pillow was you.
Posted by: michele | June 13, 2005 04:28 PM
Man, I haven't heard Gravity Kills in ages.
Can I get in on Guilty and Mass Rioting?
Posted by: Shawn | June 13, 2005 04:30 PM
damn you Hubris, foiled again!!!
Posted by: coolrobc | June 13, 2005 04:30 PM
Ah, a fantasy kiss is way better than nothing.
I'm guilty, baby.
Posted by: Hubris | June 13, 2005 04:32 PM
Sounds like "Jacko Ho-Tep" ,I say a look-a-like is on his way to the courthouse and ,well,there you go...
Posted by: mbruce | June 13, 2005 04:33 PM
It's 11:40 PM in Israel and I can't even think about going to sleep until this verdict is announced....
Posted by: Allison | June 13, 2005 04:42 PM
So when do the citizen journalists get to interview the jurors?
Posted by: Shawn | June 13, 2005 04:44 PM
He Beat It.
Posted by: Hubris | June 13, 2005 05:19 PM
The radio station just interrupted a freaking song to announce the verdict.
I shamelessly stole your line as my IM status.
Posted by: Brian J. | June 13, 2005 05:20 PM
I noticed MJ was looking rather pale on his way into court.
So a good day on 2 counts for him then.
Posted by: Rich | June 13, 2005 05:23 PM
OJ 2, Electric Boogaloo
Posted by: skillzy | June 13, 2005 05:28 PM
MJ looks like he borrowed a few pills from Paula Abdul.
Posted by: Dakota | June 13, 2005 05:29 PM
HE IS FREE. You far-right nazis failed again to frame a person of color. Michael Jackson is everything we progressives stand for. This is a great day for liberals and (real) democracy!!!!
www.liberalavenger.com
It's a bad day for Bushco fascism! (boo hoo)
Posted by: LV | June 13, 2005 05:29 PM
Heh....I think.
I'm rather blase about it. Not guilty on all counts is a little far-fetched, though.
I've got Thriller stuck in my head. Thanks, MJ.
Posted by: Shawn | June 13, 2005 05:33 PM
Heh, I would have guessed "Come Together" by the Beatles (one and one and one...)
D) [listening to Richard Cheese singing "Beat it"
Posted by: Ian | June 13, 2005 05:35 PM
Apparently a California jury needs video of the accused walking around with a ten-year-old hanging off of his dick.
Posted by: Matt | June 13, 2005 05:38 PM
I just found out about the verdict (via an IM from Brickmuppet)... I had told him that I am actually in CA right now... For some reason, I hadn't even thought of the fact that this is going on in this state as well; and I just found out that there was an earthquake here yesterday. I have been unable to watch the news these past few days, but this is something that some had predicted, due to the money factor. I don't know about the specifics of this case, but it's too bad that people like Jacko (as well as people like Klinton - both Bill and Hill) keep escaping punishment for their serious wrongdoings, due to the amount of wealth and power that they have.
Posted by: Aakash | June 13, 2005 05:44 PM
"One and one and one is three"
Also from "Come Together" Do I get a kiss?
Posted by: Benjamin | June 13, 2005 05:46 PM
Woo-hoo!
At last, some good news for a white woman in the news.
Posted by: Al | June 13, 2005 05:46 PM
Hey LV,
I thought he was innocent. I'm a conservative and a Bush supporter.
Your ignorant.
Posted by: StrobeAlific | June 13, 2005 05:50 PM
oops.
You're ignorant.
Apparently, I am too.
Posted by: StrobeAlific | June 13, 2005 05:51 PM
Shrug...
However, if I didn't know any better and was just judging from that great morphing job you have up, I would swear that there is no f'in way in hell that cute little kid grew up to be that..that...thing.
Posted by: cardeblu | June 13, 2005 05:52 PM
Michael Jackson may well be a prevert, but convicting him on that raft of contradiction the State presented would have been unconcionable.
The case was so weak I'm surprised the judge didn't toss all but the alcohol counts after the prosecution rested. I think the county will be lucky not to lose a malicious prosecution beef.
Posted by: Kevin Murphy | June 13, 2005 05:54 PM
Where was the turtle?
:)
Posted by: Ken Talton | June 13, 2005 05:55 PM
Victory Tour '05! Boys under twelve get in free!
Posted by: Allah | June 13, 2005 05:57 PM
I think I know what tomorrow's 100 Word or Les theme is going to be.
Posted by: Shawn | June 13, 2005 06:02 PM
Posted by: michele | June 13, 2005 06:15 PM
Michael Jackson is everything we progressives stand for.
And that is what...monumental facial surgery to hide from yourself and your ethnic heritage? Wanting to be Peter Pan and hang out with kiddies because your family F'd up your childhood?
Posted by: Steve of Norway | June 13, 2005 06:23 PM
Turtle Head! Turtle Head!
I got Turtle Head!
whoops, gotta go now....
Posted by: prairie biker | June 13, 2005 06:23 PM
He could rape Macauley Culkin in the middle of the street and be acquitted. Fact.
Posted by: Emma | June 13, 2005 06:34 PM
If by rape Macauley Culkin you mean bend him over and make him squeal like a pig while he yells "BEAT IT, YEAH BEAT IT MICHAEL!" then...yeah.
Posted by: michele | June 13, 2005 06:45 PM
I don't think that Michael Jackson is innocent. Well, at least not entirely.
Posted by: Richard | June 13, 2005 06:53 PM
Billie Jean is not my lover,
She's just a girl who says that I boffed her son,
But the kid was having fun...
Posted by: Brainster | June 13, 2005 06:59 PM
Brainster, superb, very funny!
Posted by: Rich | June 13, 2005 07:14 PM
You heard he had to quit the Cub Scouts? He was up to three packs a day...
Sorry...
Posted by: Dr_Mike | June 13, 2005 07:28 PM
Isn't Macauley a bit old for him now?
Back in the day I put that Gravity Kills disc on infinite repeat while playing LAN Command & Conquer (the original). Good times.
Posted by: Ian S. | June 13, 2005 08:46 PM
I hope he has a big sleepover to celebrate.
Posted by: G. Bob | June 13, 2005 08:49 PM
MJ is facing some civil actions, now isn't he?
Is it wrong that I'm hoping that something GOOD can come out of all of this? Y'know, like Paul McCartney can get the Beatles catalogue back?
Posted by: Margi | June 13, 2005 09:18 PM
An auditory knock-knock joke, courtesy of my duaghter (apparently it made the rounds at the high school.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Little Boy Blue.
Little Boy Blue Who?
Little boy blew Michael Jackson.
Posted by: Trish | June 14, 2005 02:48 AM
michele: Aim for the balls, not the cock. They're close to each other, but if you miss the balls, those sorts of hits don't hurt as much.
Otherwise, the only opinions that matter are of twelve people and they've spoken. That's it. If Jackson's truly guilty, then the prosecution fucked up.
Maybe they shouldn't publicize these cases until after it's all over and done with? I can't see anything else that might help.
So I guess option E: I saw a squirrel!! He was doing like this: imitate squirrel
Posted by: Patrick Chester | June 14, 2005 07:01 AM
I really need to stop working and reading books and stuff. I didn't fing out that MJ "got off" until I saw the paper this morning! I spent a whole night sleeping and not knowing. I am so....yesterday!
Posted by: spd rdr | June 14, 2005 07:02 AM
A.
But what the hell were the prosecutors thinking? I mean how bloody incompetent can you get?
Juror number 1 was just on Fox. He admitted he thought that Jackson molested young boys but he not guilty according to intructions they were given by the judge.
Posted by: Andrew Ian Dodge | June 14, 2005 08:00 AM
I started playing "Guilty" right after I read the title, well before clicking on the comments. After carefully rereading your terms of service, I can find nothing to indicate "one kiss per post" or some such shit, therefore I DEMAND a kiss. At least a peck on the cheek or something.
Posted by: disconnect | June 14, 2005 08:50 AM
Posted by: Greg | June 14, 2005 08:53 AM
Hahaha.
And I had no idea that the Jackson trial was so...political.
Kisses for everyone, two for Disconnect. I'm just in that kind of mood.
Posted by: michele | June 14, 2005 08:59 AM
Unbelieveable. But if he truly is a child molester, he will be back. I can't beleive he was exonerated. I'm beginning to think that the level to which American's elevate celebrities is becoming a serious problem.
Posted by: shank | June 14, 2005 09:38 AM
aww man, all I get is sloppy seconds...
Posted by: coolrobc | June 14, 2005 09:47 AM
We used that saying on our website when we discovered we were pregnant. Is that it?
Posted by: Ellen | June 14, 2005 12:48 PM
--. You far-right nazis failed again to frame a person of color. Michael Jackson is everything we progressives stand for. This is a great day for liberals and (real) democracy!!!! --
Let's see:
Michael Jackson, by most accounts, is outspending his income to the tune of $20,000,000 per year .. I can understand liberals and progressives standing for that.
Michael Jackson lives in a world entirely divorced from the realities faced by everyday people ... I can also understand liberals and progressives standing for that.
Lastly, Michael Jackson was raised by strict, apparently abusive religious parents ... forced to become a member of a family group so that his father could fulfill his dreams... and has never had a relationship that one could call 'normal' or 'successful' based on any meaningful definition of the term ... I can understand liberals and progressives standing for that.
Look at it this way - Evil Bushco is ALL ABOUT THE TAXES. If Jackson is in jail, he costs Bushco and the Governator MONEY. IF Jackson is free, he can tour, employ people, charge ticket fees, and perform taxable activity.
So, given all that, how is it possible that Jackson would not go free?
Bush, he's evil all right
... evil like a fox.
Mooo-who-wah-ha-ha-ha-ha ....
Posted by: BumperStickerist | June 14, 2005 12:50 PM
Heard an excerpt from Tito's press conference - "...Michael is home resting and enjoying his children..."
Isn't this the entire problem?
Posted by: pete | June 14, 2005 01:50 PM
To assist in paying his legal bills Michael Jackson is having a garage sale this weekend at Neverland Ranch....
SPECIAL
...young boy's pants...half off!...
Posted by: zippy | June 14, 2005 11:12 PM
Another good one... There is a news report on the cover of the Evening Standard.
Jackson vows not to sleep with boys
A wags response: Isn't that a bit of closing the bedroom door after the young boy has escaped?
Posted by: Andrew Ian Dodge | June 15, 2005 07:23 AM
You graphic of Michael Jackson has convinced me that he should be the part of the "Joker" in the next installment of "Batman".
Posted by: Neo | June 15, 2005 11:45 AM
if he didn't do it then I am fine with that, if he did it are your children fine with that?
Posted by: Zantlandia | June 16, 2005 08:20 PM