« Alphabet Tunes | Main | and lo... »

The Official* Michael Jackson Speculation Survey/Poll

Why not engage in some celebrity speculation on a Monday morning?

And don't pretend like you don't care - you know you'll be in front of that tv like dumb bugs to insect zappers when the verdict is announced. Yea, I'm a dumb bug, too.

Questions to ponder/answer:

  • Guilty or not guilty?
  • If guilty, what's the likely scenario - He kills himself? He drops dead of a heart attack? Corey Feldman goes into seclusion? His fans riot, pillage and loot?
  • If not guilty, what's the likely scenario - he flees to Europe to start EuroNeverland? He shows up on the next installment of Surreal Life? OJ vows to look for the real molester? His fans invite him over for a pajama party?
  • How soon after the verdict is announced do all of MJ's recordings appear on the charts? Who will stage the first MJ Benefit Fund concert? How soon before the morning zoo parody songs start?

Anything else you can think of is fine. No limits on bad taste, low class, humor at the expense of others, etc.

I love the smell of wild speculation in the morning. Have at it. Make it serious if you want, or make Batboy proud.

Added: Who will play Michael and his cast of characters in the inevitable movie of the week?

*[by official, I mean official only in my eyes. this speculation survey is not endorsed by nor approved by the michael jackson camp. void in neverland]


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference The Official* Michael Jackson Speculation Survey/Poll:

» Kid Gloves from Late Final
From Michael Jackson's publicist: Michael Jackson visited the Santa Ynez Cottage Hospital for recurring back spasms due to stress. However, he is in good spirits. He has not been admitted and he will be going home. She may not be... [Read More]


Not Guilty

"Deranged" parents of victims try to lynch him.

Charts, schmarts. The usual suspects (Jesse, Sharpton, Glover, Conyers, McKinney, Waters) will make something idiotic and political out of this.

I have a feeling he'll be found not guilty, but either way, I see him fleeing to EUrope.
If found guilty, expect him to go to France and not be extradited even though he's a fugitive from justice.
If not guilty, any EUnuchstan country will do where he can bribe his way above the law.

I'm with Veeshir on this one.

His current stay at the hospital for "severe back pain" is probably a cover as he gets ready to flee the country.

I'd bet he goes to France where he'll be welcome with open arms while the frenchies croak about how now he's "safe from further persecution from those vulgar, uncultured and uncouth Americans".

He'll proceed to build "Euro-NeverNeverland" and be supplied with an endless supply of unwitting little french boys and live "happily ever after".....

It'll be a real life "Fairy Tale" ending for ol' Wacko Jacko.

He only wears ONE glove.Hung jury

1) Not guilty. Weak case. The guy's a freak, but he may not have done it this time

2) If guilty, he appeals forever, and then flees the country, citing racism, never mentioning that he's been fleeing hsi racial identity for 30 years.

3) He embarks on a concert tour , which tanks everywhere but eastern eurpoe. Why they love this clown I'll never know. Then again, they like Hasselhof..

4) Off The Wall or Thriller may breifly get on the charts, but that'll last 2 weeks,then he'll fade back into obscurity.

Either way, he'll have to sell Neverlansd to pay his bills, and maybe even sell The Beatles' catalog.

Guilty, has a nervous breakdown, becomes catatonic, gets put in some nice mental hospital, does his time writing new lyrics, "Billy John, was my lover", and when he gets out makes a few more gazillions of dollars with his rewritten stuff.
His family finally admits they don't allow their children around Uncle Mike because he's a freak, and they knew it all along. Latoya makes a few million off the tell all I knew Micheal was doing little kids but was threatened by the family not to tell book she writes.

Latoya also admits she really is Micheal in drag which is why you never see the two together. Or her anywhere until he gets out of the asylum.

Not Guilty. Seclusion 1 year at Neverland, a new album deal and new music ahead.

Same as OJ: Acquitted because of bungling prosecution, and was able to afford buying his way to freedom.

He flees to Europe. US Neverland gets purchased by George Soros. Neighboring property values skyrocket (or recover, as the case may be).

Not guilty. Mass rioting. Ironically, some kid loots MJ's entire catalog from the record store. Riots fizzle out after 4 hours due to lack of enthusiasm. Bush is blamed.

Not guilty. The jury won't find beyond a reasonable doubt due to concerns the whole thing is a money making ploy.

Liquidates everything to cover lawyer costs and inevitable civil case. Moves to Africa to "get back to his roots."

Guilty -

When the police department comes to take Michael they will be surprised to see large shimmering glove shaped ballon rising out of Neverland.

They'll watch it drift off to the West where a large ocean-going yacht will be waiting in international waters to take Michael some place more tolerant.

If there's a God, then the winds will shift and Michael will be blown off course into the Mojave desert.

If there's a God.

Guilty, sent to San Quentin, after 15 minutes of protective custody, is sold for a pack of Lucky's and a pack of Doublemint gum.

After a few months, inmates become tired of his 'who's bad' singing in the shower sctick, and he has a 'work accident' in the prison library.

Wailing, moaning, carping whining, bitching, and outright lunacy about the travesty of poor Micheal, the race card, the 'Free Michael' movement, and the rest of the cacaphony drown out 'free Mumia' within 36 hours, and become the rally cry for any group claimng/decrying victimhood in general until 2034.

Alternately, he walks, and people line up (and even get into fights over who's first) to send their pre- and nascently pubescent children to spend long weekends at Neverland.

The latter is more likely, because it's the stupider of the two predictions.

If he thinks it looks like a guilty verdict, he skips the country. I don't think he'll spend a day in prison whether he's convicted or not.

Michael Jackson is on trial?

The football player got arrested? Why?

What are the charges?

Oh, that Michael Jackson, the one with the Neverland Ranch, the chimps, imps, and hyperbaric chamber?

I find the defendant not guilcup.

Seriously though, I think the prosecution has not made the case on the facts presented. If he is found guilty, it's probably because the jury figures that he probably did this kind of thing before, with the kind of screwed up family dynamics at play here, and got away with them in the past, so they don't want to let him loose again (jury nullification).

The laws were changed so that prior bad acts could be brought in as evidence even if it wasn't in the form of a criminal conviction (or even a charged crime).

You have to believe that the jury knows that Jackson isn't quite right in the head, and that he could have committed the crimes charged, but Sneddon didn't actually make the case.

guilty? not guilty? i don't know...

but in the movie, he'll be played by Ahmed Best. and Lucas' cgi people. because there's no human that can accurately represent him.

I'm saying not guilty. But he'll be back in court sometime around 2014, accused yet again of diddling little kids. Third time's a charm.

My feeling is it'll be "not guilty" b/c the claim will be that the prosecution didn't make their case.

After which, he will move to Europe, buy a French chateau, and turn it into EuroNeverland. Maybe even "adopt" a "Rainbow Tribe" like Josephine Baker did, but not for as pure motives as she had.

If "guilty," I predict some kind of serious health problem requiring isolation in a hospital somewhere, or else a suicide. I really do think MJ would kill himself if found guilty - it would end the "gravy train" in all respects.

As for his future as an entertainer, I think it's pretty much washed up in the US. Maybe in Europe, if he's found not guilty, he can still make it, but his popularity was in serious decline here even before the last allegations.

and regardless of the legal guilty/not guilty, I think he's a pedophile or damn close to one. There's something creepy about the guy.

From what I've paid attention to, he should be found "not guilty".

If the jury convicts him because they think he's done it before, that would be jury lynching, not jury nullification. Jury nullification returns not guilty verdicts.

Guilty. Dude's a freak, people, including jurors don't like freaks.

He'll do his easy time, after a couple of years of appeals, get out and finally go away forever. Also, while I'm wishfully thinking, your dog really did go to live on a farm in the country.

"Who will play Michael and his cast of characters in the inevitable movie of the week?"

Diana Ross plays Michael Jackson.

Diana Krall plays Lisa Marie Presley.

I'm hoping for a heart attack. But I guess he'd have to be found guilty first. And, like OJ, I'm betting he bought his "justice."

There have been guilty verdicts recently on just as controversial evidence (ie: Scott Peterson). I live in hope that someone has the kahones to lock him up.

Guilty verdict-MJ don't due that. I say the guilty verdict is read, he has massive breakdown right there in court, screaming "But I love all children! Why can't you see that I just LOVE children?" while Randy is secretly filling out the paperwork necessary to commit little bro', or to have him named Power of Attorney. MJ will be carted off in an ambulance after passing out as the guards try to take him off. Before he leaves the hospital, he will fall into a coma, induced by an unknown substance slipped into his IV by someone on his psudo-posse, and will never leave or recover.

The made-for-TV-movie will run on CBS (cause they are known for running works of fiction already), will portray MJ as the "victim " in this whole mess, blaming his father for his actions. Can't think of the right person to play him, though LaToya was a good start.

Oh, yeah: The truth about the parantage about his kids will come out, and Liz Taylor will spearhead the fundraising efforts to pay off everything, from laywers to doctors to hangers-on.

Thats my story and I'm sticking to it.

Guilty on everything except the conspiracy charge.

Bail revoked, put in jail immediately to stop him from fleeing the country or doing something harmful to himself.

No riots, no pillaging, no looting by the fans. The fans will cheer his family members when they leave the courtroom, boo the DA and his staff and finally go to Neverland for a "Free Michael Vigil" at sunset.

Guilty, immediate appeal but put in prison. Kills himself before appeal can be launched.

Result of verdict: riots outside courthouse and possibly in various American cities with large black communities. Possible ditto after Michael tops himself/dies in prison.

Where's there's smoke, there's fire! This child/man has gotten away with his perversion for much too long. Hopefully, the jury will not be presuaded by his celebrity.
I think he'll do some jail time on some accounts. It will be interesting to see which ones the jury believes he's guilty of.
How can a 46 year old man sleep with children and pass it off as loving and natural?? Those are his words, not mine. This man is SICK and it's time he pays for what he's done to some of these children.
This isn't a black or white issue. I just wish the black community would quit trying to protect him just because he's black. Besides, he's not black anymore, remember?

I believe if he is found guilty that his nose will fall off.


All these joking comments are really not worth the space they occupy here...
If we really want to speak on Michael's dilema I think we should be for real about it and less comical with our statements;less we run the risk of not being taken seriously.
Which brings me around to the issue at hand. I would say not guilty of child molestation, okay?
Let's not be so quick to judge this man who has spent most of his entire life in front of a camera and on stage.
And still, if race is an issue our jokingly comical remarks are quite an issue of annoyance; as it would be for any person of color. Most people would think that if it were them they would face a worst case scenario, with being a high profile citizen.
So let's check ourselves before we call ourselve a judge and/or a comic with this man's life. Remember people of color have suffered through back breaking hardships to help build this country as much as the other man. Let's not make this a public lynching of someone we admire, even though we may not understand everything he does.
We have someone who we for the most part truly admire here, with his life hanging in the balance.
If you don't like him, it would be much easier to just leave him and his family alone, because he has friends all over the world who will accept him with open arms even with our trumped-up charges of child molestation.
That's no joke.
Not Guilty

You know I don't think this has anything to do with race and I'm frankly tired of hearing how whites do bad things to blacks. It happens plenty the other way too. Racism exists towards all races and from all races - sad as that is. It seems to be a hard battle with humanity but the problems lie with every one of us, not just one race.

As for Mr Jackson, I think he's turned his back on his roots. I'm not sure what he considers his Ethnic background to be. We know what we would say but I wonder what he thinks.

I think he's guilty but I'm not convinced that has been proven so it would not surprise me to see a "not guilty" result. Either way, he has some very hard times ahead and one wonders if he has the mental fortitiude to survive it all.

Speaking from someone that has a criminology degree, this really could go either way. The prosecution in my eyes failed to make the case. However his defence, like his plastic surgery, also sucked. They were calling celebrity witnesses on to the stand to say essentially nothing. He needed Johnny Cochran may he RIP.

I perdict he walks and gets destroyed in civil court.

In the event that he is found guilty I perdict nothing will happen out of the ordinary. The fans of this so called ambassador of peace will not riot. Reverse racists will come out of the wood work and have their 15 minutes of fame but will gather no support from the African American community that no longer sees MJ as a black man. Lastly this judge is a sharp guy, he learned everything not to do from the OJ trial. There will be no skipping the country, no compassion, and no mercy. Court bailifs will spring on MJ and lock him down on the spot. If he has another medical problem a doctor will be brought to him not vice versa.

The End

He is guilty as hell!! One kid even spent the night over his place for about 1 year...
Night after night, something is going on.

Have any of you seen his fans outside the courthouse? Not even the island of misfit toys would want those fuckers!! Sorry, but I gotta go, my back hurts...

Let's not be so quick to judge this man who has spent most of his entire life in front of a camera and on stage.

So this justifies pederasty?


Will flee to a pedophile tolerant nation if not guilty.

My question is this, Why would Jackson have "Severe Back Pain"? Does he do a lot of heavy lifting?

I pray that he is not guilty.

I hope the man is freed from this and puts out his best album yet. A roaring album with tracks filled with powerful lyrics to all those who doubted him.

Guilty, the fans stone the press vans, sob a lot, maybe even slash some wrists, not someone else's. Michael retreats to the nearest Ramada Inn, he appears on a balcony and dangles LaToya over the edge. The crowd shouts, "We love you Michael" and "Drop her". Oprah struggles through the crowd looking for a heartfelt interview but Michael drops LaToya on her head while shouting "I'm HiStory, again".

Today Michael Jackson is proven not guilty on all 10 accounts! Thats right! I always new and believed he was innocent since day 1 of this whole damn trial!

He is guilty. plain and simple. its too bad that there are jurors afraid to do their duty and convict these sick bastards. if you cant make the right choice, dont serve as a juror! michael jackson will burn in hell!

Not guilty. I think the media made more of a case than there ever was, but what's new? The guy's obviously "different" and maybe that's why so many of us are so quick to think 'yeah, he's guilty'. Time to move on and leave Michael and his personal life alone... Who's next...?

What a travesty of justice, this guy is a freak who needs to be in jail. What these jurors were thinking while deliberating this verdict is beyond me. California law allows previous allegations to be brought to light and used to determine the likely hood of guilt. He paid off anywhere from 15-20 MILLION DOLLARS on a previous allegation to keep it out of court!!! Come on people if you were innocent would you give someone that much of your money to keep quiet? I know I wouldn't, I would fight that tooth and nail just make sure it does not happen again. This is ridiculous, it was given way too much attention because of his celebrity status and his ass needs to be in jail. Those of you fans out there that don't agree need to get out of the 80's and get with reality. When children are being abducted/kidnapped and killed on a regular basis someone needs to step up and put a stop to it. What are we telling people now a days, it's OK to break the law if your'e famous and have the money to buy your way out of a verdict. OJ, William Shatner, Berretta and the rest of them are all nothing more than common criminals/murders who used their staus to get them off. Have no fear though liberal pussies, I am sure you will somehow blame it on the Bush Administration. Take a word of advice, head out to the woods and become one with nature, hug a tree and fucking stay there, do us all a favor.

PS- Take MJ with you when you go, he can watch your kids for you you fucking idiots!!!

Whoa Chris, I was with you until you started on the liberal pussies. "Have no fear though liberal pussies, I am sure you will somehow blame it on the Bush Administration. Take a word of advice, head out to the woods and become one with nature, hug a tree and fucking stay there, do us all a favor. " I can't stand Bush, but still think Jackson is a pedophile freak. I hope he tries to stage his comeback and it tanks, then the public will have voted.

Sorry Vicky, I am a military guy and I have serious issues with the way that the liberal media is covering the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Can't help but to associate it with the liberal state of California and the fact that they are against doing anything that might actually promote good order and discipline. No wonder that state has to have an auction of seized items to get itself out of debt.

Jumping Jesus Christ people, the man is a pop star not frikken Gandhi. Powerful lyrics my arse. He didn't cure cancer, he walked backwards, grabbed his crotch, played with a monkey, and invited children to his bed. He was good for a very brief time during the 80s and then his music started sucking, just like nearly every other pop star from the 80s. Let it go. He's not a god.

Anyway, speculation over, he was found not guilty. Mainly because rich and famous people cannot get convicted in American court systems. It's just impossible.

I am happy this endless spectacle is over. I say it was nonsense from the beginning.... a whole lot of bullshit. He is welcome in Europe without crazy proscecutors.


Denis The Netherlands

The wimp wasn't happy with the not guilty decision because now he's gonna be watched like a hawk and can't play around as easily with his little boys anymore. That's why he was crying because he hasn't yet figured out how he's gonna get his daily dose of pedophelia without the whole world watching. If it was so clear he was innocent why so long? There must have been a lot of doubt as well as a hell of a lot of bribes. When the price was right so was the verdict.

MJ's the lowest form of life on this planet. Sets up a child brothel outside his house and doesn't get convicted? Even one of the jurors said he'd been to that brothel so it's clear that jurors were prejudiced from the outset and justice was never done.They believed his lying lawyers words against eye witnesses which is very, very unusual for a jury. The jury were nothing but undeclared fans secretly hiding their 'vested interest'. They probably have every album of his as well as attended all his concerts. He bought his way out the creep.

I just read through all the notes above. Two points I'd like to make. 1. Chris, what does Michael Jackson have to do with Bush and why would we blame him for this? There are 10,000 other things Bush has done to this country including lying about WMDs and wrecking our economy. He should be the one on trial for molesting the whole country. But I digress. The second point is that while Jackson may be guilty, the jury did the right thing based on the case presented to them. The accuser and his mother were horrible witnesses who have lied under oathe before. The "pornography" found was all legal. The accounts given by the accuser, his brother, sister and mother were all inconsistent. The reason we have a judicial system is so innocent people don't go to jail. Reasonable doubt. That's it pure and simple. The DA did not do his job. Pure and simple. Let's hope Mr. Jackson has learned his lesson and wises up.

Chris:- you are a screwed up ass hole, u say u r a military guy, heheheh that's why US military was a suckaaaa in the war, not able to trace bin laden, so they declared him dead, wake up asshole, wash your mouth and face the truth. It is a few of you American's who are SICK, Weird and pass their judgement about others as though if you r god, who's beleiving in you. Michael Jackson is INNOCENT, he always was.
Get out of America, see what the other people think about you all Sick donkey asses. It is your kinda people who are destroying Humanity.
About Bush- fucking people first they make Bin laden, then they try to destroy him sayin he is a terrorist, it is America that is making Terrorist.
America made laden's to destroy USSR, now it is it's own turn to be destroyed.
WAKE UP AMERICAN"S WHO THINK LIKE THIS FREAK "CHRIS AND GROUP", don't bring your country's name down in front of our eyes.
Michael jackson is a gem of a person, this world won't have another MJ, let him creat his music and help the needy. We, non American's, representing the rest of the world have seen him from the begining, this person has spent his whole life in Studios and Stage, making greatest music for our ear to listen and our heart to joy.
Let us all unite and make this place a better world for all of us to live in.
And stop being a cry baby after hearing the jurys statement of NOT GUILTY.
Atleast the jury has shown that the US justice still prevails, any dumb person who have followed this case even a bit, will tell with his hand on his heart that Michael Jackson is innocent.

I totaly agree with Girlfucker. Michael Jackson is the one who brought America's name to the
top-most level when it came to MUSIC, DANCE, PERFORMANCE.
There is and there will be no other artist in the whole world, who can match his musical talents. Don't let his talent go waste becoz of these crap things brought up by the money minded people and the media. The media has always mislead the people in Michael's case, Example:- Michael clearly mentioned kids used to sleep on his bed and he used to sleep on the floor, there was nothing sexual, but the media comes out with
"Michael jackson sleeps with kids on the same bed" oh please, media in America is really pathetic, I don't know why most of the people staying in America do not understand the medias moto.
Almost all the artist in the world, including American's are inspired in some way or the other by Michael Jackson- believe it, it's a fact. Coz we have seen many artists admitting it.
Comeon friends let us all unite and pray that Michael Jackson comes out with a New album, which breaks all the previous records, even Thriller's record, then we will see the whole world singing and dancing together on MJ's songs, that is when the whole world will be happy.

Hey charanjit/girlfucker? Did you know your IP is registered when you comment? Did you know that I can tell you are the same person?

Buh bye.

Hey michele, you think that we are baby boy's, new to computer, hehe hehe, we r not, we are using the same machine, BUT WE ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE, there is no need for me or gf to sign in as two different people if we were one person, according to you. we r friends thats why our message is posted back to back.
Whatever be the case, Michael jackson is innocent, stupid nuggets couldnt prove him guilty, becoz he was'nt guilty of ANY OF the charges against him. Now when the verdict is out, some people cannot digest the fact, CRYBABIES!!!


nothing against you michele, enjoy!!!