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the grudge

During the course of discussion at lunch today, I became aware that I've been harboring a grudge against the co-editor of my high school yearbook for the past 25 years. Not just a grudge, but a hateful, vindictive, nasty bitterness that I didn't even know existed until this person's name was brought up.

Now that this grudge has been let loose, I realize that the power of my animosity could probably set buildings on fire and cause tidal waves in small countries.

I might feel better if I look her up, call her and tell her she's a bitch, but she's probably running a crack house somewhere and those places usually don't have listed numbers.

I wonder what the statute of limitations is on high school slights. Not that this was just a slight, mind you. It was more than that. It was downright evil. But still. 25 years this has been in some hidden compartment in my soul and it's been unleashed and I'm not sure what to do with it except harness the force of my hatred and power the electricity for the house with it.

Update below.

Alright. This is what happened.

We were co-editors of the yearbook. During our senior year, a very good friend of mine died in a car accident. The girl in quesiton was not friendly with him AT ALL. He was a popular guy that I knew from the neighborhood (we went to a private school, so we all came from different towns). It so happens that two other classmates died during our senior year, and we decided to dedicate pages to them, as had been done in the past in similar circumstances. The teacher in charge of the yearbook committee asked me to write a poem for Mike. I did.

T. took it upon herself to take my poem out and put in one that she wrote. For a guy she knew only well enough to nod at in the hallway. I was furious. She told me that her poem was far superior to mine (it was a gacky poem not even worthy of cheap greeting card) and deserved center stage (her words). She threw my poem out. I found it crumbled in the garbage can in the classroom. When I told her I was a little upset about that, she told me to get over it, that I would never be as good a writer as her. She THEN edited something I wrote on the "what happened in the news the year we graduated" page, where I called someone's death untimely. She insisted there was no such word and I was an idiot. I told her "at least I'm not the kind of IDIOT that thinks abortions are a form of birth control," and stormed out of the room. We never spoke again.

Oh god, that sounds so freaking petty. I know. To carry that around for 25 years is ridiculous.

Letting go......

Comments

Must have been discussing "Black Girl" at lunch?

I hardly remember high school. Well, considering I thought about it as little as possible while I was in it, that's not surprising.

Must have been discussing "Black Girl" at lunch?

Hah, no. I didn't even see that story until I got back from lunch.

Andrea, this is about the ONLY thing I remember that didn't happen in creative writing class.

Not sure what to do? Did you google this person?

Now I'm curious and I hate being curious.

Know what I would do? I'd build a robot and send it into the past to kill anyone with that name. It's foolproof, I tell you.

Shawn, just to be sure, have the robot kill the parents of anyone with that name before anyone with that name is ever born.

Of course, you could just have the robot take off and nuke the town from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

I was one of two Brits in our freshman class in college. In our yearbook for that year, they ran a pic of the other guy and called him "[dorm-name's] favorite Brit".

That fucking hurt.

Luke, don't give in to hate. That leads to the Dark Side!

And nifty red lightsabers...

And cool glowing eyes...

And bad skin conditions...

Just three weeks ago I got the chance to speak my mind to the asswipe who has had me pissed for 25 years. I thought it was going to be so sweet because he claimed he couldnt even remember me. Once I got past "Look at this face you arrogant ass and you'll remember!", it all seemed stupid and pointless. Holding onto the grudge is much more entertaining and fulfilling. The actual confrontation will only make you feel small and simple.

Did you hear about what happened to that African-American girl in Texas (I believe)? The yearbook staff didn't know her name when formatting the picture of the National Honor Society so they put "black girl" in as a place holder meaning to change it when they found out her name. Well, as I'm sure you've guessed by now they forgot and now the picture of the NHS has her listed as "black girl". Aint year-books grand?

Not sure there's a statute of limitations against being a complete asshole in high school 25 years ago, which is what she was.

If she's any human being at all, she regrets it. If she's not, she's defective.

Well, I'd say you're justified in pretty much whatever level of animosity you feel toward the girl.

That being said, letting go of ancient hatreds is usually a good thing, when we can pull it off...

Michele,

Only one thing to say: Excellent comeback! :-D

You went to high school with Maureen Dowd? It's a small world.

There is no such thing as a statute of limitations on high school slights. That's the whole bloody point of holding reunions: so you can rub your tormenters noses in the vapid dirt of their squalid existence while demonstrating how your life has become absolutely fabulous.

Even if you gotta lie through your teeth to pull it off.

Use your anger. Let it fuel your writing. You can always create a villan in one of your stories that represents her, and then torture that villan. It would be quite entertaining.

"no such word"

If nobody killed her by now, it's probably true that she had no post-high-school writing career.

She insisted there was no such word

No way. If she'd said that to me I'd be prepared to nurse, diaper, vaccinate and educate that grudge for 50 years, never mind 25.

She probably just needed...wait...did that one...didn't work the first time...carrying on...

No!! Never let go of your grudges! It will come in helpful when you are freely elected dictator-for-life andcan then get payback...

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