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Star Wars fandom: DEFCON 1!

dogwars.jpgI'd say there's three levels of Star Wars fans. There's Level 1: the person who really enjoys the movies and can name all the main characters, but stops short of engaging in a discussion of whether or not Han shot first. A Level 2 fan (of which I would be one) has a more in-depth knowledge of the movie series; recognizes the Star Wars world as one of fantasy but often discusses aspects of it as if it were real; owns action figures, but realizes that Peter Mayhew is not really a Wookiee and wouldn't ask him to do a Wookiee yell if they ever met him. Then there's Level 3. That's the guy who will wait on line months in advance of the premeire of a new SW movie. At the wrong theater. And demand that Lucas show the film in the theater he's on line at. A Level 3 lives in a world inhabited by people who are one light saber duel away from never coming back to this side of reality. He or she is the person who dresses their dog in a Vader costume or names their son Luke Skywalker.

I admit that I have at some points I have flaunted my Level 2 credentials with reckless abandon and come very, very close to a beginner stage Level 3. Yes, I stood outside Toys R Us waiting for a new shipment of figures to come in. Yes, I had a life size cut-out of Boba Fett in my house for way too long. Yes, I've had discussions that make me seem a bit out there. And so what if tasted Yoda cereal or sent away for a glow-in-the-dark Kenobi or cried tears of joy when, in 1997, I found a Darth Vader action figure carrying case at a garage sale for two dollars? I'll tell you what I've never done. I never ate Lava Berry Explosion Pop Tarts just because they have Vader's face on the box. Ok, I bought them. And I opened them. And I was actually going to take a bite until I realized they look like they are filled with the blood of rebel peasants and coated with actual lava. So while I purchased them and looked at them and even smelled them, I never actually ate them, which I think saves me from crossing over into Level 3-dom. Because that's the difference between a 2 and 3. A Level 3 fan would eat the Pop Tarts anyhow, no matter how bad they looked or smelled or tasted, because they are compelled by the voices in their heads (most of which sound just like James Earl Jones) to do such things.

I have no such voices. I draw the line at certain places. I will not subject myself to ridicule in the name of a movie franchise. I will not (even though I said I would) make a stormtrooper costume for myself. I will not attempt to try a Darth Dew Slurpee (I leave that to the experts). And I will stop having those dreams about Boba Fett. I don't know the dimensions of Tatooine or how much fuel it takes to fly an X-Wing and sometimes the entire Star Wars family tree confuses me so, even if I aspired to be one, I could never be a Level 3. My mind automatically rejects any further knowledge of the Star Wars universe because it knows. It has a warning system that tries to keep me in check. That's the difference between a 2 and 3 - a working mind. Sanity!

Ok, maybe I'll get these Dark Side checks. When my Batman checks run out, that is. And this would look nice in my living room. Did someone say they had a link to a Leia slave girl costume? I could probably get something together in a few days, if I.......

Danger! Danger! Approaching Level 3! Step away from the $120 lightsaber!


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You make me feel good about my geekdom. I won't even watch the movie for a couple of weeks.

While I won't be seeing a midnight showing (having a 10 month old kinda precludes that, now), I do have the Darth Vader carrying case you mention.

Of course, I got it way back in my (actual, not extended) childhood, and saved it (along with my extensive matchbox collection), but there you have it.

I will not subject myself to ridicule in the name of a movie franchise.
You're only willing to do that for a baseball franchise.

After all, a person needs to have their priorities in proper perspective.

The kids had the Darth Dew Slurpee yesterday...two thumbs up.



I have Lucas to thank for remaining at Level 2. I was rapidly degenerating hen the original trilogy hit theaters again. I was at Toys R Us at midnight on 5/3/99 when new toys were released. I ordered action figures online because the local stores in DC were sold out of Maul and Sidious. I even own a Jar-Jar action figure. I developed a mysterious illness on 5/19/99 that cleared up in time for the first non-midnight show of Phantom Menace (and I only skipped the midnight show because my wife was 7 months pregnant with our first child). Thankfully, Lucas pulled me back from the brink with the pultritude of the first two prequels, which are pretty and shiny but have no soul. But because I sold a part of myself to the dark side in 1977, I remain at level 2 and will be watching RotS on opening night.

Search out with your feelings! Come to the dark side and together we can rule the Galaxy!

I dunno. I thought Level 3 geeks wouldn't eat the Pop Tarts for fear of removing them from their original packaging. I guess having my doubts means I'm a Level 2...when it comes to Star Wars.

Babylon 5? Dune? Fuhgedaboutit.

Ships Worldwide, except Mexico

If you don't ship to Mexico, then you don't ship worldwide!

Level 3 Geeks would buy two packages - one to eat, one to put in the fireproof box in mommy's basement.


Do you mean a STormtrooper outfit like this?:

I think I'm mostly a Level 2 fan, except I don't own Star Wars action figures and have never had any great desire to do so. The only action figures I own are my Dark Shadows bobbleheads. Oh and that one Paul O'Neill bobblehead I got at Paul O'Neill bobblehead day at the Stadium.

Well, and I do have a stuffed killer rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Hmm, maybe I should get that Darth Vader action figure after all...

My friends and I have tickets to the midnight show tonight and yes, I have had actual nightmares about not finding good seats.


My link above may require registration. BugMeNot should solve that.

However, the girl in the photo may be the best looking star wars geek out there. Michelle excluded, of course.

While I don't own any action figures, my first thought when I watched a Simpsons episode with Liam Neeson as a guest voice was "Qui-Gon's a priest!" And I did try to write a Star Wars novel when I was 13.

Guess that makes me level 2.

"Level 3 Geeks would buy two packages - one to eat, one to put in the fireproof box in mommy's basement."


Midnight shows for 2 of the 3 prequels.


DVD's, video tapes, an insane dedication to giving Lucas more of my hard-earned....

all guilty.

I am definately teetering on the edge of level 3-dom.

still have toys from childhood (ie: very beat up)


Well are you seeing it at a "normal" theater or at a fully digital theater (ie one with a digital projector and digital sound)? I figure if you go out of your way* to see it at a digital theater (which is apparently the preferred way to see it amongst Star Wars die hards) than you're solidly moving towards level 3 status.

*digital theaters are pretty scarce in my area, not sure if that holds for all parts of the country.

You should enter the Darth Vader is a Republican Photo-shop contest:

(And Jar-Jar Binks is a Democrat.)

Hey, why did'nt Qui-Gon-Jinn dissapear when he got killed by Darth Maul?

Darth Vader did not dissapear either, but he still got to become a ghost. Does that mean that Qui-Gon-Jinn got to become a ghost too??


You should enter the Darth Vader is a Republican Photo-shop contest:

Nope. I'm keeping today's politics away from this one.

I had no idea that stormtroopers came in a female/belly-shirt model...



I'd say owning even "action figures" is the edge of Level 3. I'd say I'm a Level 2, since I (1) don't have said 10 cm dolls, (2) make fun of the people dressed up at the theatre, (3) have never read a Star Wars book (movies only!) yet (4) can have entire conversations using quotations from Star Wars ("It's not my fault!") and (5) have a Lego X-Wing in my office. But hey, I saw Star Wars in 1977 in a drive in so it's been a formative experience!

I'd buy the "Lava Berry Pop Tarts" only if they looked tasty. After all, I did buy a box of "Cheesy Poofs" when South Park came out. :-D

There's always defcon 4...
The one who makes his own customs figures and films like this:

That's more like an idiot savant.

sigh I was right there with you. Comfortable in level 2 geekdom, until you mentioned the Pop-Tarts. Yes, I searched through 5 stores for them. I found plenty of the regular Pop-Tarts in assorted flavors in a box with Darth Vader on it, but they weren't Lava Berry Explosion that I HAD to have. And yes I did eat them. The first Pop-Tarts I had in over 10 years and I bought and ate them JUST because they had Vader on the box. I also ate two boxes of the Star Wars cereal because Yoda was on one and Vader on the other.

Anybody know where I can updgrade my memebership from level 2 to level 3? big sigh

I actually recognized you in the PopTarts, Tim, and almost outed you on your geekdom ... I'm just so glad you finally admit it.

Embrace the geek, Tim, it is strong within you ...

What does it say about me that I also shopped at several different stores looking for said PopTarts and ended up buying 2 (not 1 but 2) boxes of Frosted Flakes just because they have the lightsaber spoons inside? (and yes, I was thinking that, with two, we could have a duel).

Oh, and the Cheetos that we were hoping to be Darth dark but they only turned your tongue Yoda green? Yup ... I think that makes me an enabler ...