did someone say fuck?
i am outraged!!
OHMYGOD, a rock band said a bad, bad word on a television show! On a Saturday night - after midnight! On a show that barely anyone watches to begin with!
WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Ohhhh I can tell my System of a Down story again! Because no one read it over here.
In November of 98, my sister and I went to see System of a Down at the Hammerstein Ballroom in NYC. Or maybe it was Roseland. One of those places that is 99% mosh pit and 1% girls bathroom line. They were opening up for Incubus (insert promo for upcoming Incubus is dead to me rant here) and doing a good job of it. Lots of energy, lots of screaming and head banging and the mosh pit was aggressive yet friendly - when two slightly overaged women can mosh without getting hurt yet have enough fun to wipe out their energy level for the next two weeks - that's a good pit.
So, it just happens to be Columbus Day. As the band launches into Sugar, Serj - who is a little nuts but only about half as nuts as Shavo, who looks at the audience like a serial killer sizing up prey - goes off on a political rant. The crowd is kind of impatient. The band is playing the opening notes over and over while Serj carries on and these kids just want to get down to the part where they can shout the kombucha mushroom people! while jumping up and down, pumping their fists and wondering what the fuck a kombucha mushroom person is. Me, I always thought of this. But I don't think that's what they were going for.
Anyhow, Serj is just about winding up his rant. He pauses towards the end - the band stops. The crowd waits. And then Serj, full of passion, and most likely some heavy duty drugs, throws his head back and screams "CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS WAS A COCK SUCKER!"
Was he expecting a rousing round of applause? I'm not saying that everyone in the crowd worshiped at the altar of Columbus, but no one really expected Serj to say that. So between the stunned silence of the crowd, the impatient look on Serj's face and Shavo's menacing glare, I came down with a case of the giggles. The song eventually started up, the mosh pit went into high gear and my sister and I backed out of the pit and towards the bar, giggling uncontrollably as the kids up front did their kombucha mushroom thing.
February rolls around and we decide to go see System of a Down again, this time with Fear Factory and Puya. We miss Puya, thanks to a downpour and a stalled car, but we get there in time for System. As the familiar opening notes to Sugar waft through the air and Serj opens his mouth for another political rant (something about fucking the system), my sister remarks that it just so happens to be President's Day. We were sure that at any moment, Serj was going to pump his arm the air, throw his head back and scream "Abraham Lincoln was a cocksucker!" But he didn't. He just growled about fucking the system and complained about the evil, tyrannical overlords that America has created.
Which, I suppose, could be construed in the same way.