PSA: Self Love Edition
[Need I say that almost all of today's links are NSFW?]
May is National Masturbation Month.
The Harry Potter vibrator
The Hello Kitty vibrator
Are you a vibrator friendly man?
The world's largest collection of masturbation synonyms.
- Having ladyfingers and cream
- Brushing your afro
- Cleaning the walls after an accident involving the Milk Man and the Cyclops
- Sending yourself a hand-job-o-gram
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| Your Star Wars Masturbation Method Is: Thumping Chewbacca on the Head |
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Of course, there are some of you who believe that masturbation is evil. Even then, you cannot keep your filthy, hair palms off of yourself. Perhaps this will distract you from thoughts of self-loving:
Fred Durst's "O" Face. The cure for all horniness.
Oh, and if the mere thought of Jessica "Daisy Dukes" Simpson has you running for the lotion and the tissues, this might stave off another rubbing session: Jessica and Fred Durst doing it all for the nookie!
The best masturbation related link EVER: Masturbating to Skid Row
Obviously, someone has not been participating in masturbatory exercises.
And a song for you, from Nerf Herder: Doing Laundry Lyrics below.
Knee-high!
Argyle!
Tube!
I was thinking of you while I jerked off into my sock last night
I was thinking of you while I jerked off into my sock
I was thinking of you
I wish I had more than two
Cuz I didn't have anything else to do
I was thinking of you while I jerked off into my sock
Comments
Heheh. Performing the Jedi Hand Trick.
Heheheheh.
Phew.
Posted by: zomb(ie)boy | May 9, 2005 08:57 PM
And, for the secular folk, there is nothing like a little Divine Intervention to spice up that Sunday after church romp.
Posted by: Al | May 10, 2005 07:14 AM
Well, Mr. Green did have one great big masturbatory exercise. It's good that he got it done before a baby was in the house.
When I reflect on the meaning of National Masturbation Month, I am reminded of the old admonishment to "make every day like Christmas."
Posted by: Hubris | May 10, 2005 07:45 AM
Hearing Jim Lampley's name again, surfacing on Arianna's website, reminds me of the track meet he was announcing in the early 80's. As the leader of the race was faltering and about to be passed, Lampley said "Look like he's shot his wad."
Jim was not heard announcing any sport after that for a long time, finally resurfacing in boxing.
Posted by: Chrees | May 10, 2005 12:50 PM
My Star Wars method was "Jumping to Delight Speed." This sounds too much like I don't know how to take my time. Give me a comfortable chair and TV with 80 channels and I can last for hours.
Posted by: merry mouse | May 10, 2005 05:19 PM
hell i thot it wuz everday!
Posted by: bubba | May 10, 2005 10:19 PM
Too bad they didn't have "Spanking the Sithmonkey"
:P
Posted by: Darth Monkeybone | May 10, 2005 11:23 PM
Dad: Stop that or you'll go blind!
Son: Well, howabout I just do it until I need glasses?
Posted by: Hungry Valley | May 11, 2005 11:29 AM
I was always impartial to ladies saying "nuzzle my fuzz" personally...
Posted by: KB | May 12, 2005 05:23 PM
Here's another song on the subject for you: http://www.weingart.net/myfilks.html#masturbationtango
Posted by: wheels | May 12, 2005 09:57 PM