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PSA: Self Love Edition

[Need I say that almost all of today's links are NSFW?]

tissues.jpgMay is National Masturbation Month.

The Harry Potter vibrator
The Hello Kitty vibrator
Are you a vibrator friendly man?

The world's largest collection of masturbation synonyms.

  • Having ladyfingers and cream
  • Brushing your afro
  • Cleaning the walls after an accident involving the Milk Man and the Cyclops
  • Sending yourself a hand-job-o-gram

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Your Star Wars Masturbation Method Is:
Thumping Chewbacca on the Head


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Masturbation Horror Stories

Masturbation Humor

Of course, there are some of you who believe that masturbation is evil. Even then, you cannot keep your filthy, hair palms off of yourself. Perhaps this will distract you from thoughts of self-loving:

Fred Durst's "O" Face. The cure for all horniness.

Oh, and if the mere thought of Jessica "Daisy Dukes" Simpson has you running for the lotion and the tissues, this might stave off another rubbing session: Jessica and Fred Durst doing it all for the nookie!

Intellectual masturbation

The best masturbation related link EVER: Masturbating to Skid Row

Obviously, someone has not been participating in masturbatory exercises.

And a song for you, from Nerf Herder: Doing Laundry Lyrics below.

Knee-high!
Argyle!
Tube!
I was thinking of you while I jerked off into my sock last night
I was thinking of you while I jerked off into my sock
I was thinking of you
I wish I had more than two
Cuz I didn't have anything else to do
I was thinking of you while I jerked off into my sock

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Listed below are links to weblogs that reference PSA: Self Love Edition:

» He Bop, She Bop, We ALL Bop from The Zero Boss
The ever-useful (and, thank the Goddess, smutty) Michele at A Small Victory informs us that May is National Masturbation Month! Check out her pornucopia of links, including the Star Wars Masturbation Method Generator. Your Star Wars Masturbation Method... [Read More]

» All for the nookie from Signifying Nothing
Somehow I missed Orgasm Day yesterday (þ: Glenn Reynolds). Amber Taylor claims that this event would be the opposite of International Kissing Day; I tend to think these events are rather orthogonal, myself. However, it’s still Masturbation Month, so... [Read More]

» Ah, spring! from jdj::reloaded
And love is at hand.Well, maybe you'd call it love... "May," writes our correspondent, "is International Masturbation Month! Read all about it in this Wired article." If you'll be in San Francisco on May 28th, you can join the... [Read More]

» 红外热像仪 from 红外热像仪
^_~,pretty good!ooeess [Read More]

Comments

Heheh. Performing the Jedi Hand Trick.

Heheheheh.

Phew.

And, for the secular folk, there is nothing like a little Divine Intervention to spice up that Sunday after church romp.

Well, Mr. Green did have one great big masturbatory exercise. It's good that he got it done before a baby was in the house.

When I reflect on the meaning of National Masturbation Month, I am reminded of the old admonishment to "make every day like Christmas."

Hearing Jim Lampley's name again, surfacing on Arianna's website, reminds me of the track meet he was announcing in the early 80's. As the leader of the race was faltering and about to be passed, Lampley said "Look like he's shot his wad."

Jim was not heard announcing any sport after that for a long time, finally resurfacing in boxing.

My Star Wars method was "Jumping to Delight Speed." This sounds too much like I don't know how to take my time. Give me a comfortable chair and TV with 80 channels and I can last for hours.

hell i thot it wuz everday!

Too bad they didn't have "Spanking the Sithmonkey"

:P

Dad: Stop that or you'll go blind!

Son: Well, howabout I just do it until I need glasses?

I was always impartial to ladies saying "nuzzle my fuzz" personally...

Here's another song on the subject for you: http://www.weingart.net/myfilks.html#masturbationtango