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Ten Questions [updated]

Today is Bernard Pivot's 70th birthday. Who is Bernard Pivot, you ask? He is the guy who originally asked the ten questions that James Lipton asks on Actor's Studio.

So what I'd like you all to do tonight - either here or on your blog - is answer the ten questions. I'll put my answers up in a bit.

1. What is your favorite word?

2. What is your least favorite word?

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

4. What turns you off?

5. What is your favorite curse word?

6. What sound or noise do you love?

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

9. What profession would you not like to do?

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Finally, my answers.

1. cacaphony, calliope
2. moot, cunt
3. music, music, music
4. attention whoring, excuses, lack of personal responsibility
5. fuckwit
6. Bob Sheppard's voice, soft rain, thunder, breaking glass, guitar solos
7. Squealing tires and brakes. The anticipation of metal on metal is unnerving. Someone singing off key. Fork scraping plate. Whining children.
8. Writer. Crazy recluse.
9. Telemarketer.
10. I forgive you for mistaking me for a work of fiction. Happens all the time, no biggie.

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Comments

1. Thanks.
2. Can't
3. Music
4. People who live in this country and have more than billions of other people will ever have and still bitch about what they don't have.
5. Shit
6. The ocean
7. Teeth on a fork
8. Radio talk show host
9. Proctology
10. "Good work."

1. Favorite word - changes all the time. Today it's lugubrious, I think.

2. Least favorite word - expedient (today, anyway)

3. Turn-ons: creatively - good music; spiritually - solitude, especially in a forest, the mountains, or at water's edge; emotionally - making people laugh

4. Turn-offs: closed-mindedness, herd mentality, fads, excuses

5. Fave curse word: creative expressions in Spanish

6. Love the sound of: glass or thin ice shattering, popcorn, heavy guitar chords at the beginning of a song, crack of a baseball bat, soda cans being stomped on, pump shotgun being cocked, gas grill being lit

7. Hate the sound of: cats fighting, fluorescent lights, scraping ice

8. Profession like: stand-up comedy, acting, DJ

9. Profession hate: doctor, mortician, golf announcer

10. Like to hear God say: "Well, okay. You can come in for a minute, but you'll have to leave when somebody really good gets here."

1. fantastic
2.cunt
3. intimacy
4. greed
5.motherfucker
6.my children laughing
7. the screaming in my head
8. teacher
9. garbage man, proctologist
10."finally!"

1. What is your favorite word?
Carnival.
2. What is your least favorite word?
Bureaucracy.
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Someone talking about something passionately.
4. What turns you off?
Brutality. Or Eve Ensler. I can't decide.
5. What is your favorite curse word?
Cockslap. I love the mental sound it makes.
6. What sound or noise do you love?
The mechanical clank and hum of a fairground midway.
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
A scream of genuine terror. Cuts my heart.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Writing. For real, not the sometimes-bullshit I usually do.
9. What profession would you not like to do?
Surgeon. Way too personal, way too gory.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Want to ride again?"

1. thanks
2. mistake
3. solving problems
4. condescending, arrogant asshole bosses
5. damn
6. my wife's voice
7. the telephone ringing
8. attorney
9. assembly line worker
10. you did well

1. What is your favorite word?
Defenestration.
2. What is your least favorite word?
Titty.
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Folks who are able to observe the mundane bits and pieces of daily life and show their beauty.
4. What turns you off?
General fanish-ness (Not to be confused with the brilliant war hero)
5. What is your favorite curse word?
Picked up in Canada, "for fuck's sake"
6. What sound or noise do you love?
Church bells
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Car horns
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Writing
9. What profession would you not like to do?
Proctologist
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Welcome. Here are your fireworks.

I'll post my answers on my blog when I get back from the cinco de mayo celebration I'm leaving for right now.

Yay for drunken blogging!

I get to answer! this blog is interactive!

(1) surreal

(2) loser

(3) discovery/inspiration

(4) cruelty

(5) fuckity

(6) the sound of a creek

(7) whining

(8) novelist

(9) Slaughterhouse Janitor

(10) "Cake or Death?"

1. Please
2. Martyr
3. Mystery/intrigue
4. Intransigence
5. Monkeyfuck (post-mishap)
6. Little kids giggling
7. Styrofoam squeaking (close 2nd - phones ringing).
8. 3D Animator
9. Runway model
10. "Alright, sit your ass down and I'll explain it all, ya big baby."

1. Auntie.
2. Cunt.
3. Encouragement.
4. Lies. Blame.
5. Fuck.
6. Waterfall. Birdies chirping.
7. Yelling. Or the house going silent from a power failure.
8. Court reporter.
9. Anything that involves biz travel. Or employees.
10. Told ya so!

1. What is your favorite word?
phlegm

2. What is your least favorite word?
basically

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
music

4. What turns you off?
raw sewage

5. What is your favorite curse word?
fuck

6. What sound or noise do you love?
well, besides the obvious one, Little Feat on a tear

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
screaming kids

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Major League baseball

9. What profession would you not like to do?
politician (although I love Cream's version)

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Hendrix is looking for a drummer."

Hey, no fair. I didn't know you could answer more than one thing. :-(

1. Lollygagger
2. Have to
3. Music
4. Hubris
5. Bollocks
6. Sigh of the woman I love
7. Styrofoam rubbing against itself
8. Sailboat Captain
9. High-rise Window Cleaner
10. Welcome home, have a pint

Hedrix needs a drummer!

I'd be happy with "Hurry, there are still front row seats..."

1. Loquacious.
2. Cunt. (Michele had the correct answer.)
3. Emotion, rigor and skepticism, intelligence informed by humor.
4. Pandering, credulity, vapidity.
5. Motherfuck.
6. The crack of a bat hitting a baseball.
7. Fingernails scraping ice.
8. Architecture.
9. Roofer.
10. You're right, the evidence was insufficient. It was a test. Let me show you to your Addams Family pinball machine...

Always wanted to do one of these. It's just so narcisstic!

1. Eleemosynary
2. sensitivity
3. Rimsky-Korsakov's Scheherazade
4. Bullies, Braggarts
5. Fucktard
6. The purr of a cat, playful growl of a puppy
7. the "Woo-hoo" of a drunk at a sports event
8. Poker Player
9. Defense Lawyer
10. "Dude, did you really think forcing Ted Kennedy and Rush Limbaugh to mud wrestle was such a bright idea?"

1. supercalifragilisticespyalidocious
2. sorry
3. music, music, music (ripped.. I know)
4. Stupid people
5. 3 part tie.. Asshat, Fucksnot, Fuckstain
6. Maynard's voice, gibson through a 80's marshall stack
7. 50 Cent's annoying voice
8. Architecture
9. Elephant Insemination
10. God? Gates?? I thought all i would see was dirt......

1. Favorite word: yes.
2. Least favorite word: cunt
3. Turn on: honesty and respect on all levels
4. Turn off: emotional/verbal abuse used to give the impression of superiority
5. Favorite cuss word: fuckwit
6. Sound/noise I love: sounds of the coast - waves rolling in, wind blowing, gulls calling
7. Sound/noise I hate: fingernails on a chalkboard
8. Profession I wish I could try: FBI profiler and/or writer
9. Profession I wouldn't try: Teacher (not enough pay for the crap you have to put up with from both the administration, parents, and students...not even worth it)
10. What I want to hear from God: "We've missed you - welcome back. All of your friends are waiting for you."

1) Parsimony
2) I am the friend of all words and linguistic devices, even the dreaded 'cunt' has my ear
3) Riddles
4) When moderate bloggers go bad, man, that's like the saddest thing
5) It's not really a word, so I don't know if it counts, but I have always been partial to "oh, fuck on a stick"
6) Rising, choking, uncontrollable mirth
7) The sound of a violin being played poorly, deliberately; it is very creepy
8) Master codebreaker for the NSA; I could wear red robes and call myself "Le Clef"
9) Well, there's pride in everything you do, that said, I'd rather shovel dead babies for a living than work at another movie theater
10) "Behold, Bilbo Baggins, I am Gandalf, the wandering wizard, and I have an adventure for you!" OMG UYES

1. What is your favorite word?
Plethora.

2. What is your least favorite word?
No.

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Music.

4. What turns you off?
Whining...especially my own.

5. What is your favorite curse word?
Mutherfucker.

6. What sound or noise do you love?
My wife or son talking when they're smiling about something...there's a different sound to that...or I just like to see them smile...

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Any sort of screeching.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I'd love to run a sound board, be a producer.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Anything having to do with sales...been there, done that, hated it even though I was really good at it.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Coffee pot's over there.

1. Barratry
2. biopsy
3. music, other good writers
4. trade journalism, celebrity culture
5. The one with 12 letters
6. My kid singing, rain if I'm not in it, Marty Brennaman saying that this one belongs to the Reds.
7. Anything arrhythmic, the first few shovelfuls of dirt hitting a casket lid
8. Touring drummer
9. Sales
10. Glad you're here -- your friends and family are waiting at the music store and sundae bar.

1. What is your favorite word?

erg

2. What is your least favorite word?

should

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

you mean aside from... ahem, well... offhand, I'd say inventive word play and other creative expressions by people whose strong sense of self doesn't trample over others in their wake

4. What turns you off?

closed-mindedness and blind adherence to regimentation

5. What is your favorite curse word?

according to my wife, gawdamn and all its variants

6. What sound or noise do you love?

the sound of a group of musicians beginning the Sacred Tuning Ritual

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

the sound of one or more animals in distress

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

professional wrestler, theoretical physicist, rock star, secret agent, symphonic composer -- you know, become a regular Buckaroo Bonzai...

9. What profession would you not like to do?

door-to-door sales (tried it once - lasted exactly 2.5 days...)

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

I didn't take all those gawdamns personally...

1. What is your favorite word?
Dinner

2. What is your least favorite word?
Racism

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
A very curvatious female in a tight knit dress

4. What turns you off?
Tattos and piercings

5. What is your favorite curse word?
awwwww crap
using best Crusty voice

6. What sound or noise do you love?
Martini shaker

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Sirens in the city

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Fighter Pilot

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Police officer

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Zipp...Party of one...Your table is ready....

1. What is your favorite word?

touchdown

2. What is your least favorite word?

flapdoodle

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

colorful evening skies

4. What turns you off?

unadulterated bullshit

5. What is your favorite curse word?

fuckingbastardsonofabitchcockbitingwhoremaster

6. What sound or noise do you love?

rolling surf

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

someone bouncing a basketball

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

staff photographer for Nat'l Geographic

9. What profession would you not like to do?

septic tank cleaner

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"O, Thank ME! You made it."