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listomatic: Things you don't want to deal with at 7am

  • Two fraudulent uses of your debit/credit card on your checking account knowing that you are an unobservant idiot
  • One expected credit from a clothing store that hasn't appeared on your PayPal account though it was promised
  • One overcharge on your credit card that was supposed to be credited to your account by yesterday evening but wasn't
  • a child who suddenly remembers about that the project concerning a 3D replica of a Greek mythological event is due tomorrow, not next Friday.
  • Moralists (see comments)
  • This in your mailbox
  • The realization that you have a ZERO word count.

Too early for tequila?

By the way, DJ has chosen the myth of Daedalus & Icarus


If you need a quick Greek myth go with Zeus/Leda... all you need is a swan and a Barbie doll.

The 'Swan humping the Barbie Doll' may not go over well with the District, but - it is accurate Greek mythology


Or ... use a coffee can, paint it black, fill it with parts from old GI Joe Dolls, Barbies, and other human shaped dolls, and fill it with cherry jello or Karo syrup ... call it 'Tantalus Soup'

Regarding the tequila ... no, it's never too early .... just lick instant coffee grounds off your wrist, take a shot, and chase it with a shot of half-and-half.

..... Now - go take on the day.

I guess an old dude getting funky with a young dude, and calling it Plato's Socratease wouldn't count?

We love you and stuff.

"Moralists (see comments)"

I'd comment but I am suddenly filled with the love for Jesus after reading Sarah Christine's rant. Praise the Lord!

Oh wait, that was just acid reflux. Never mind.

  • a child who suddenly remembers about that the project concerning a 3D replica of a Greek mythological event is due tomorrow, not next Friday.

I'd recommend Prometheus - you can't go wrong with a diorama of someone's liver being ripped out.

(Or, if you don't mind jejune, Hercules and the Nemean Lion would be easy to build.)

Hey, why not write your next fiction piece through the eyes of a mythological figure?

Buck up, little camper. Hang in there.

or, you could go for a minimalist approach re: the greek

just put a narcissus next to a handmirror that's made to look like a lake.

or, more minimalistically, just put a blank board out with the word 'Echo' on it.

See the update. He's going with Daedalus and Icarus. Now let's get creative. Help me out here!

I mean HIM. Help him out.

Normally it would be too early to T, but seeing as how it's Cinco de Mayo ...

Daedalus & Icarus project materials*:

- Two rag dolls, one soaked in gasoline
- One aerosol can (hairspray or spray deodorant)
- One Zippo lighter

*May result in suspension

It's never too early for Tequila.

Hell, I'm still drunk off my ass from last night's Tequila.

Thank you, NY Young Republicans!


I'm thinking sculpture, with feathers, melting wax, and an action figure (Hawkman comes to mind) as the medium.

But I like Hubris' idea better.

Thanks, Beavis.

OK, seriously: Could you use modeling clay to make molds for the wings? Then just melt candle wax and pour it into the molds. You could then do some realistic "melting effects" on the finished product.

Not that I'm into arts and crafts or anything. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to finish the latch hook rug kit.

Depends on the amount of work DJ wants to do.

The Gas/Hairspray could result in one of those nify Zero Tolerance expulsions, but he'd have some serious street cred.

The simple way to do it is to do the' Daedulus lectures Icarus - have one figure older standing (GI Joe), a yonger one sitting (Ken?), some pillow down or such on the floor at the feet of the younger one.

Though, from a scientific perspective, it gets colder the higher you go ... so DJ could rewrite the Greek Myth using Modern Science and have Icarus escape.

it's people like sarah-christine that make it harder for folks to take the rest of us seriously. dammit.

savol was a no-talent hack, and the state of his faith or whatever doesn't make him any more worthy to do more than pick up trash or whatever the hell he did before.

friends, i know there are plenty of reasons to do so, but please don't hold up s-c as the poster child for the Church. that's the type of person we're trying to distance ourselves from. unfortunately that's also the only type of churchgoer who ever gets noticed in the public square.


(go cubs.)

For the soundtrack...

Iron Maiden - Flight of Icarus
Kansas - Icarus (Borne on Wings of Steel)

I wish I had minions.

One more idea: Create the whole thing in a box (on its side with the open end facing forward) so you can use thin fishing line to suspend Icarus. In a rear corner, affix one of these balls (they're translucent, right?), and through a hole you've cut in the back, insert this for the sun light source.

That's all I've got.

I love you. DJ loves you.

You could also use a 100-watt bulb as the sun. If you go with the wax coated wings, that should get hot enough to melt them down (just be careful not to torch the project)

I thnk Dj should develop some of those mystery malady symptoms you posted about yesterday (sans the sore boobies) so that you can have extra time to work on it.

Of course, you'd have to explain his miraculous recovery in time to play baseball Saturday. You can tell people that a dear friend named Sarah prayed over him, and voila! He was cured!

Shoot, seems like I always miss out on all the fun! I don't have even a SINGLE, SOLITARY minion to call my own - guess I'm an even bigger loser than I had previously realized...

Mike, this is one reason to have kids.

don't forget the disco ball - everyone fucking forgets the disco ball