A Small Victory: I will now to box and feel much shame*

Her reputation forever tarnished, her intergrity called into question, the blogger slinks off into the night, never to be heard from again.

No, that's not right. How about:

Her integrity called into question, the blogger heads out for the local watering hole at 3am to drown herself in Jack Daniels while she ponders what to do with the rest of her life now that her breaking news posts will never be taken seriously again.

Nah. Take three:

The blogger, having exhausted her supply of curse words and insults, leans back, opens a beer and enjoys the heavy odor of musky shame as it wafts over her blog. She belches and then falls asleep, comforted by her complete apathy about her blogging integrity.

But not before thinking "Hey, people who post private AIM conversations without asking permission from the participants really shouldn't be throwing the word integrity out there as if they own it."

I know most of you stopped caring about this about three days ago, as did I, but some people like to let things linger.

Anyhow, back to the part where:

The blogger contemplates whether write about how Star Wars is real and is actually a collaborative piece between God and Satan or how "Framptom Comes Alive" probably the most beloved album of her youth, was a piece a overrated crap.

Unless, of course, my integrity has been forever shamed and tarnished and my opinions on pop culture or even capital punishment mean nothing to you now. Just say the word and I'll tell you how little I care.

---------
*From Slapshot, the greatest sports movie ever made, but which was a terribly vulgar movie filled with horrible curse words and was not like real hockey at all. Damn Paul Newman and his lack of integrity!

Comments

WHERE IS THE DELINKING? THE BLOOOGOSVERE MUST POLICE ITSELF! OUR INTEGRITY IS AT STAKE!

Gotta go now, I heard they had titties over at Wizbang. See ya!

Posted by: skillzy | April 25, 2005 07:10 AM

Not bad... needs at least one car chase, a shootout and a sex scene, though.

Posted by: Mr Righty | April 25, 2005 07:24 AM

In any case, I'd rather have skipped posting about this if it had been possible. RightTalk is an advertiser, Jeff is a content partner whose humor I use on the blog sometimes, and I've had both Bill and Michele in Symposiums before. But, since I posted on this initially and poo-poo'd the idea of the interview being fake, I thought I should at least set the record straight.

Excellent! I'm sure the American viewing public will be able to rest easy now.

What? He's not on TV?

Ok, listening audience.

What? He's not on radio?

He's a news blogger? WTF is a blogger?? Isn't that something you find in your nose after a long illness?

Ohhh, a news blogger is a hack wannabe writer who otherwise can't quite break into the journalism game. Got it!

Posted by: Sekimori | April 25, 2005 07:28 AM

Oh yes, it was definitely an act of Orson Wellesian betrayal of the trust of the audience.

I, for one, didn't learn that The Amazing Carnac was not a real mystic, but actually a sketch character played by Johnny Carson, until after Carson (that crafty Midwestern bastard) passed away. If he had any respect for me and other viewers, he would have thoroughly explained it was a setup at the beginning and end of each bit.

Now, I don't know where to turn. It seems every medium is a house of lies.

Posted by: Hubris | April 25, 2005 07:58 AM

Some people should really step away from the keyboard and go outside once in a whle.

Posted by: Paul | April 25, 2005 08:12 AM

Michele, your blog IS the Hanson brothers of responsible blog journalism.

Posted by: JFH | April 25, 2005 08:26 AM

Your opinions on pop culture supposed to mean something to me? Crap! I guess I should be paying more attention. ;p

Posted by: Solonor | April 25, 2005 08:28 AM

I'm puttin' on the foil, coach!

Posted by: michele | April 25, 2005 08:33 AM

"'Framptom Comes Alive' probably the most beloved album of her youth, was a piece a overrated crap."

Ooh definitely. And yet -- and yet -- when the first notes of "Doo you -- YOU -- feeeyul lahk ah doo!" come on the Classic Rock (hack hack coff coff) radio station there is still this thrill.

Posted by: Andrea Harris | April 25, 2005 08:36 AM

when the first notes of "Doo you -- YOU -- feeeyul lahk ah doo!" come on the Classic Rock (hack hack coff coff) radio station there is still this thrill.

I know. Talk about feeling the shame.

Posted by: michele | April 25, 2005 08:38 AM

When I was in high school our whole hockey team cut school one afternoon to watch that movie before a game. We all went absolutely nuts and there was nothing our coach or the refs could do to make us stop when we hit the ice that night. By the end of the first period, nearly half of us had been kicked out of the game, and I set the (still standing) record for penalty minutes by a goalie without getting run off the ice.

Good lord, I love that movie!

Posted by: TC@LeatherPenguin | April 25, 2005 08:54 AM

I know I feel betrayed.

I want my money back.

Posted by: Trish | April 25, 2005 10:00 AM

Michele if anything I have GAINED respect for you. Anyone who can curse like that is clearly worthy of my respect.

Posted by: Shinobi | April 25, 2005 10:12 AM

How the hell do you know she was cursing?? All I heard was bleeps. In all our conversations, I can honestly say I've never heard Michele swear. Ever.

Posted by: Solonor | April 25, 2005 10:26 AM

A-friggin'-men!

Too many damn bloggers are getting a real big opinion of themselves...and for what? I knew that the day someone complained that an Instalanche was stolen that this so-called "citizen media" was all hooey.

Posted by: Shawn | April 25, 2005 10:33 AM

I just feel like an a$$ for trying to defend you...

Posted by: Timmer | April 25, 2005 11:23 AM

You can steal Instalanches? And all this time I've been trying to buy one...

Posted by: Shinobi | April 25, 2005 11:24 AM

Apparently so. Of course, I imagine those who complain of such chicanery to be speaking like Gollum. "Stupid fat bloggers, they stole the precious!"

Posted by: Shawn | April 25, 2005 11:31 AM

I concur with Timmer but you needn't remind me how little you care.

Posted by: Rex | April 25, 2005 12:55 PM

Michele... On an "integrity" kick? Paul Anka skits can't be far behind...

Where's Ace?

Heh.