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Sometimes I..... [Updated]

Sometimes when a really annoying person is talking to me, I tune them out and chant "Ratamahatta" over and over again in my head until they are done.

Sometimes, when I am driving through an underground parking garage, I duck my head.

Sometimes I imagine I work in a jigsaw puzzle factory, and I throw away one piece from each puzzle just to fuck with people.

Sometimes, if I have to speak in front of a group of people, instead of imagining them in their underwear like most people do to keep from being nervous, I imagine that they are all dead.

Sometimes, when someone says that Magnolia is the best movie they ever saw, I want to kick them in their shins.

Sometimes, when we are looking for something different to do, I will take all the couch cushions and throw them on the living room floor, put on some old Sepultura and let the kids practice their stage diving.

Sometimes Belle and Sebastian will come on the iPod right after Rammstein and I feel like I want to kick my own ass.

Sometimes I wish life was a musical and that music would come out of nowhere and we would all break into songs that we know all the words to and dance in total synchronization. In an Oklahoma! sort of way, not a Cop Rock sort of way.

Sometimes I find myself watching a movie I profess to hate.

Sometimes I fall asleep with the remote in my hand, and I change the channels in my sleep and dream that I am on C-Span.

Sometimes I take the covers off the Sharpies just to sniff them.

Sometimes I think if I try hard enough, I really could make The Force work.

Sometimes I get really annoyed if people don't say "God bless you" after I sneeze, even though I'm atheist.

Sometimes I take a different way home, that's one straight road, even though there's more traffic and it takes more time simply because I'm feeling too lazy to make any turns.

Sometimes I let loose with a string of profanities for no other reason than to make people recoil in horror.

Sometimes I think my time and resources could be better spent.

More:

Sometimes, when watching Seinfeld, I have to turn the channel when George is about to do something really stupid.

Sometimes I think I'm being watched n a giant tv screen by strange people in a mysterious, underground building.

Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much.

Comments

Sometimes I wish I just had something to say

Sometimes, when I am driving through an underground parking garage, I duck my head.

C'mon, everybody does that. Don't they?

Sometimes I think if I try hard enough, I really could make The Force work.

I'm afraid this one is enough to permanently brand you as a Level One Geek. Send in your dues and we'll get you your membership badge.

Sometimes when I play racing video games, I lean hard into all the turns.

BF, I think a whole lot of us do that.

Sometimes, after playing Crash Team Racing, I think my car can do tricks.

Sometimes, before I fall asleep to the inevitable nightmares, I tell myself to imagine having a lightsaber in the nightmare - just in case.

Sometimes I think it's a sin,
When I feel like I'm winning when I'm losing again.

Sometimes I'll say something that goes against the status quo just to get a rise out of people.

Sometimes I'm very far away, even though I'm still sitting at my desk.

coolrob,

Do you mean your mind drifts, or do you mean your perspective suddenly shifts, so that it seems you're really very far away from the desk that's right in front of you?

...'cause I'd have no idea what you're talking about, either way. Except I get vertiginous when the second one happens.

Sometimes when I'm watching baseball on TV, I try to signal to the batter what pitch is coming.

You and Frank J. at IMAO.US should get together and put out a weekly "Somtimes" or a dueling "Sometimes"

What do you have against people in underground buildings? Why do you automatically assume just because they are underground they are "strange"? I'm sick of all this above ground self-righteousness!

Keiran,

Somtimes both, other times neither.

Sometimes I'll type up a comment on a blog, but then close the window without posting it, because....eh....who cares.

Sometimes I wonder if they'll ever get around to making "Buckaroo Banzai and the World League of Crime"

Sometimes, when walking down a huge flight of stairs, I'm CERTAIN I'm going to trip.

(I have to turn off the really stupid George stuff too.)

Sometimes, when I get nervous, I stick my fingers under my arm, and I smell them...like this...

Sometimes I wish I'd never been born.

No, wait, not me. You.

Heh. I love Magnolia, though I'd stop short of saying it was the best movie I ever saw. But it is one of my favorites.

Now when can I get my kick in the shins?

P.S. The question is, do you like Boogie Nights? Are you someone who just hated Magnolia for the very legitimate reasons there are for hating it, or does P.T. Anderson just not work for you?

Sometimes I wish life could always feel like when you almost fall backwards in a chair you've been leaning back in, but manage to save yourself just in time.

It's the name of your site. It's the small victories that make me feel the best.

There's a bright golden glaze on the meado-o-owwwwwww....!

I can't get the force to work either. But I still try every now and then, just in case.